|Racist FamilyPage 5 of 12 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)|
|Assuming by "act black" you mean act ignorant ...ha|
*sigh* It never ends.. I just posted a similar problem myself
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:46:55 AM
|blueceleste i am going to go out on a limb and assume one thing... i bet you can talk and talk! you write just like ya talk a bet? ya ever met someone who does that? they write like they talk? not that it is a bad thing cause i like to talk too. just you make me laugh and we all can use laughter in these times. |
i wonder how many of us can tell what race a person is by talking to them on the phone? sometimes i think i can...
wow reese45 sounds like you got involved with a really messed up family! people who have racist tattos are scary people! there is bad evil in the world!
Posted: 1/4/2012 2:30:56 PM
|Very interesting views. This is why I enjoy this site.|
Posted: 1/4/2012 5:58:16 PM
|look, try not to worry about it. i know it sucks, but people CAN change. i have seen this very same thing up close. my ex husband was half asian and half white. his brother married a white woman, and the girl's father hated that fact that he was half asian. well, to make a long story short, my brother in law was a great husband, a wonderful dad, and he made an effort to build a relationship with his inlaws. after my brother in law and his wife had been married a while the girl's family accepted him, and he is now very close with the father. he is the favorite son in law! |
sometimes people just need to get to know someone in order to over come their prejudices. we are all human and we are all full of biases, contradictions, and we all make mistakes. some people have been raised to be racist, and it takes a new experience to help them over come this. just know that you have the power to change the situation, but it may take time. if you really love this woman, and if she is really the woman of your dreams, then don't let anything stand in your way. it may be tough, but if you guys get married and have kids things will change quite a bit. grandparents love their grand kids. you have the power to change things...so don't feel like it's hopeless.
good luck..take care...and hang in there...
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:12:06 PM
"Anyone who is married to their family , should be a good sign for people to steer clear of them , ....."
when you get married, you marry the family, too. you should go way out of your way to cultivate a positive relationship with the in laws. this is vitally important, and it also serves a strategic purpose as well. first of all, you have to deal with the family, and the person you marry will have to deal with your family, too. that's just the way it is; it is not something you can "steer clear from." you have to deal with these people - there are holidays, other weddings, graduations, funerals - all gatherings where you will have to interact with family. also, if you don't have a good relationship with your in laws, then they can do a lot to make your marriage a mess.
now here is the strategic part... if you have a strong relationship with your in laws, they will be supportive of the marriage. if you don't think that is important, then think again. i've known plenty of men that turned down opportunities to stray because their wife was so close to his parents and siblings, and he didn't want to hurt them. this provided the support necessary for the man to come to his sense, and fix the issues in the marriage before having a full blown affair. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but i'd say hell hath no fury like a mother that is pissed off at her son for running around on her favorite daughter in law. oh you don't want to be privy to THAT phone call...
Posted: 1/4/2012 9:25:28 PM
|Family issues seem to effect women more than men. I could care less if my family likes the woman I am with. Im in to the woman, then they are my main priority. My love for my family is different than the love I have for my significant other. Both equally important, but mutually exclusive of each other.|
In the end of the day, your/her parents are going to die, and it will be about you and your lover. Choose wisely.
Posted: 1/5/2012 2:03:40 PM
|you think you have it tough -try being an octoroon like myself!|
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:13:43 PM
"Family issues seem to effect women more than men."
i think it depends upon how much time one spends with one's family, and it also depends on whether or not one is close with one's family. i know plenty of men that complain about friction between their wives and their mothers. this can be a big problem. i think it is important to try to cultivate a strong relationship withe in laws.
Posted: 1/7/2012 6:46:29 AM
|It is hard to get away from how family feels and thinks. When the family is so extreme I just would not even be able to be part of it! I would move as far away as possible; you gotta do what makes you happy in life and if your family holds ya back just go out and make your own life is what I say anyhow!|
Posted: 1/7/2012 9:41:02 AM
|Hi; I am a 63yr old white guy,went to a school that had one black student. We got along great. But at that time I was of the seperate is better between the races people. However as things have changed and time passed I have changed my view . If two people Love and want eachother it's good for me. |
Go get her. Her family will come around . If they don't they are so small minded that why would either of you care. Love each other that's what counts.
Posted: 1/7/2012 11:15:17 AM
My heart wants her what can I do?
Stop being a racist yourself. That might work.
I have been told by many people I am the whitest black person they have ever met.
Care to elaborate? Particularly, how you, or these "people" would define "whitest". Sounds racist to me.
All my girlfriends have been white. I have never dated a black girl.
Sounds racist to me. Why have you never dated a black girl? Could it be RACISM?
I have never experienced racism before in my life.
Quite sure about that?
However, her family is very raciest.
How would you say they are "raciest"? Did they, too, call you out on B.S.? Were they able to win an argument against you? We could use more information here.
Seems to be nothing more here than a case of "wah, wah, I can't have this person. Boo hoo, racism can be the only explanation". Isn't this kind of topic considered "done to death" around here?
Posted: 1/7/2012 11:17:14 AM
|I'm an octoroon. both sides were against me from the day I was born. "Eighth-breed!" they all shout and sneer at me! no songs such as " Octoroon Nation! Octoroon Pride! " for us..|
Posted: 1/7/2012 12:16:07 PM
|Tough situation, it is almost impossible to change what is in a person's heart and hatred is an emotion that is probably one of the hardest. The big question is does your girlfriend love you enough and is strong enough to separate herself from her family and break the cycle of hatred?|
If not you're faced with basically two options continue with her realizing her family will always be against you unless you miraculously change them.
Or move on and chalk it up to something that wasn't meant to be.
I don't envy you your choices, none of them will be easy ones. But wish you good fortune in whatever choice you make.
Posted: 1/7/2012 4:15:24 PM
How can you expect others to respect you when you cant respect who you are?:
Cheryl got part of it
Start by respecting yourself, be proud of who and what you are. I`m a french guy living surrounded by english people judging me for my language; I guess its a form of racism. For them, my race should have been conquered and died 300 years before and they resent us for it now. Be proud of who you are; give hell to anyone who don`t agree
Posted: 1/7/2012 4:25:23 PM
|You aren't going to change the attitudes of her parents.They are set in their ways. If she dates you she may be excommunicated from her family, friends, etc. They may never accept any grandchildren from the union, as any black blood in the children makes them black. This isn't unusual, it's just the way it is. They want the best for their daughter, & are not looking at you as an individual, but as a black man. I know you like her a lot, but you may need to move on, & date a person from a more liberal, accepting family. I'm sorry this has happened to you, but be prepared to run into this again when you are dating a lady from a different race.|
Posted: 1/7/2012 10:55:33 PM
|some white peeps don't want black peeps in their lives because they think blacks come from a culture of violence. |
try to convince her family you are different.
Posted: 1/8/2012 12:04:33 PM
some white peeps don't want black peeps in their lives because they think blacks come from a culture of violence.
try to convince her family you are different.
you won't convince your family of anything.
on the same token, there are plenty of black families which also do not wish their children to date/marry outside of their own race.
it is what it is...
all you can concern yourself with in dating is yourself and the relationship you are in. if a person IS ok with dating interracially (black/white) one would be a fool to ignore the fact that either or both families might have an issue with it.
and you do marry a family as well...
Posted: 1/8/2012 12:09:06 PM
|Just be yourself. It happened to my son, but once they got married and had a child the family was present too much. If she loves you and the family relaize that whatever they do you guys will still be together they will question their motive.|
Love her and forgive her family and pray for the best. Remember it may not be easy. but what is for a black man.
A black mother
Posted: 1/8/2012 4:03:21 PM
|OK...get the whole whitest black person, trust me I'm not light skinned and I get that, because of my up bringing, no big deal. But you can't convince them to except you if they are racist, if they love her they will respect her decision regardless.|
Really you have always dated white girls, so trying to change their mind, would be like someone changing your mind to date black girls for instance, do you get where I'm coming from, rather people want to believe it or not, people have a right to dislike something, or someone regardless if it's right or wrong, so being racist is a choice no one is born with hatred in their heart, it's taught, so therefore can be avoided if wanted. You can't change a person's choice, don't waste your time trying!!!!! Besides if you are that light, maybe they will think you are white, hell it's been working for you thus far right?
Posted: 1/8/2012 7:55:53 PM
|^^^^^he might be the whitest of all black people on the planet....|
got the biggest smile of all smiles in the solar system girl !
cute, but now my face hurts !!
Posted: 1/10/2012 6:42:58 AM
Just a thought, are there any real-life racists here who would care to offer there opinions on the matter?
Like I said before, I used to be a BIG TIME racist. Anthing that wasn't white, except Chineese women,a nd even then, before 30, because after that they get all flaky lol.
But I'm not anymore. It was mostly black people, black GUYS to be precise, but it took meeting some very gnarly black guys to turn me un-racist.
But anyways, racism isnt conscious, isnt logical, isnt rational. You hate for the sake of itself. The only reason I hated black guys were because they were arrogant, and since once when I was working at a store and they came and stole stuff, ALL of them were thieves, you know? Which is ridiculous, but I also had a lot of racist friends. Took me a while to get out of it all.
But if I were a father, and a racist one, the only reason I wouldnt accept my daughter, for example, to date a black person, would be in sake of ITSELF; I dont like and approve because he's a black person. He's dirty, will soil the bloodline, and I do NOT want black children. It would be that simple, that disgusting, that irrationnal.
So my advice to the OP stands; tell that family to GO TO HELL. If they dont accept you, fine, its a stupid, irrationnal sentiment on their part, either ignore them or call them racists; there's nothing intelligent about their reactions.
Posted: 1/10/2012 7:44:51 AM
Your post is racist.
I realize the OP started this post over six years ago now but the conversation is still interesting, so I'll play along.
I live in Canada and I've dated black women. I got the distinct impression from reading buddy's post that he doesn't like himself very much. It almost reminds me of stories where a black man with light skin passes himself off as white and hates himself?
My advice would be to think about Sydney Poitier in "Guess who's coming to dinner". Then again, that was the early 60's so it's slightly easier to accept ignorant attitudes in that context. Forty years down the line and these stupid rednecks haven't got the memo yet?
I'm a white guy who lives in the "Great White North" and even I wouldn't have anything to do with some woman who was tight with her racist family. I mean every family has at least one igrint racist but a whole clan of them? I think the OP needs to stop dating hillbilly chicks.
Maybe monster truck rallies aren't the best place to go looking for dates?