Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Racist Family      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 151
view profile
History
from the 70sPage 7 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
If you look at his profile you'll see that OP has already moved on but this thread keeps going. Good stuff.
Have to say I'm disappointed that she didn't have the courage. But of course we don't know the whole story.
 lilbitsweet
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 152
from the 70s
Posted: 1/11/2012 10:55:48 PM
I am new to forums, not sure if this is still on topic, but i am facing something i never have, i met this, i am thinking, is going to be an amazing man and he is black.. im from the deep south and even tho i wasnt raised to see color ,my ex was.. i teach my kids people are people, but he tries to teach whites are better.. anyway, i know i am grown and can make decisions, and shouldnt let my ex be a factor but i am wondering, before it goes any further how in the world would i make this ok for my kids??? i want to be happy and i want my kids to be ok, and not have to deal with my ex"s racist ways... oh this will be my first experience
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 153
from the 70s
Posted: 1/11/2012 11:58:52 PM
Well, if your new bf is a good man then you will be doing your kids a huge favour. You wouldn't even need to say a word to them. They'll figure it out real quick, kids are smart.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 154
from the 70s
Posted: 1/12/2012 9:01:24 AM

yall do know they did a study on babies telling the differnce between black people and white people. they had a hole show about it, it was on the discovery channel. they little black baby preffered white baby dolls over black baby dolls.

Well, it makes for nice tv, but the fact remains...babies are STUPID. Unless you can show me one with a driver's license, that's what I'll think. Growing up they actually get more brains. The actual study could mean anything from the baby likes things different than he is, or he's attracted to the shiny white plastic, the dark hair like his own, the fact the Ken doll had a tight firm bu*t lol. Those kinds of studies, even the one I cited as an example, can prtty much be used to say ANYTHING.
I think the above example proves that ALL babies are attrated to dolls in general, which is like, true to a certain level according to that show, right? So any baby whom you give a doll too that starts crying...something's wrong with it right?
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 155
view profile
History
from the 70s
Posted: 1/12/2012 12:11:23 PM
198,
Embrace it as a perfect opportunity for a learning experience. Your children will learn through your interactions and not making it an issue or something that needs to be talked about. The only time you need to say something is when your kids make a prejudice comment. We tend to lecture children (I’m not saying you will) but we need to really understand children’s use of language and their meaning making before responding and before we turn what they say into our own agenda. I think this great. I’m excited for you.
 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 156
from the 70s
Posted: 1/12/2012 1:11:49 PM

My own dear father walked the prejudice/racist line my entire childhood and even through my twenties. My siblings and I all rebeled against his ideas wholeheartedly and became "CBC-listening radicals," (his words) but he continued to tout nonsense regularly. But his edge has disappeared over the past ten or fifteen years--and he is in his late seventies, so the change didn't come young.


yes, often (not always) when people realize they are getting close to death and they are indeed mortal, their hearts may soften from hatred and prejudice racism, at least somewhat
 shyshy84
Joined: 10/12/2011
Msg: 157
from the 70s
Posted: 1/12/2012 1:13:35 PM
my grand ma is doing the opposite, she had became more rasist and full of hate.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 158
from the 70s
Posted: 1/12/2012 1:36:22 PM
Well there you have it, racist comes in all shapes , sizes and color, Racist hates
they hate because they're afraid of thinigs they don't understand, and are afraid to confront the way they feel.

Deep down inside they know they're wrong but they simply can't face that, So it makes them angry, And since they'll never take that anger out on the real problem (their ignorance), they take it out on what they perceive is the problem (other races).

Me I don't have time for racist, I have family members who are and were racist and I give them zero time, not worth my precious time, Thank the Lord My mother, grandparents were not like that.

I have also zero tolerance for people who cannot stand up to their beliefs and has to hide behind their families because they don't want to be alone , booo hoooo hoooo

When I was 15, I had a friend who's parents were racists, they even kicked him out of the house, and my mom said he is staying with us, my mom took care of him like a son, and to this day he will check in on my mom every so often, his parents eventually came around before they passed on , they were sorry for all the B.S they put him through but Mario stood his ground, sure he forgave them but their relationship wasn't the same, Mario's father realize he raised a fine human being, a Man of principle a man of integrity and values, the only thing wrong with the dude is he is a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Racism is wrong, hating someone for their race shows me the type of person they really are, prejudice is one thing but racism is wrong.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 159
from the 70s
Posted: 1/12/2012 1:46:29 PM

only thing wrong with the dude is he is a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs


*Rolls eyes*
And you think there is nothing wrong with THAT? I used to have respect for you Ice, I really did... LOL
I agree with the whole post. It mirrors exactly what I used to be ; hate what you don't know, don't understand, and dont take the time to. And its a damned shame too, because the guy who's black, or chineese, or jewish, or german, or whatever his race, he might be the guy who one day saves YOUR life, or be the best person and your best friend throughout the rest of time. It's important to see beyond color; inside, we're all red. (I was laughing at that, red, cos you know, the heart, and blood...oh well, I laughed it lol)
That being said, a fan of the Maple Leafs deserves at the very LEAST, decapitation
 Lionessx
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 160
from the 70s
Posted: 1/14/2012 10:22:47 AM

Racism is wrong, hating someone for their race shows me the type of person they really are, prejudice is one thing but racism is wrong.


Well said Ice and I agree with you.
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 161
from the 70s
Posted: 1/14/2012 11:31:05 AM
My dad says the stupidest shyt about everyone any and all stereotypes. One time he was goin at it yelling at some guy who was cussin out his lady down the street and he called him a fawking nigga. My mouth dropped cuz we were at his best friends house kickin it on the porch. Eunice is a black guy they been bff's for decades. I had one of those mortified looks like oooooh shyyyt my dad looked at me funny says mija Eunice is a Marine! Then I got the talk from both of them that nigga means ignorant and they come in any sizes shapes and colors thats how it was said back in the south waaaay back in the day. So I got schooled by a couple of Marines on that subject.
 lilbitsweet
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 162
from the 70s
Posted: 1/16/2012 10:06:09 PM
201

thank you, i did finally meet him.. and he is the most precious handsome man i have ever seen!!! im just gonna let it happen like its suppose to.. and deal with things as they come... im sure that being from where im from there will be major issues, but not gonna worry till then... i dont beleive in creating drama, just dealing with it when it occurs..
 Romeosstorm
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 163
Racist Family
Posted: 1/16/2012 11:15:28 PM
Sorry my man, you cant convince or change people stuck in their ways. Trust me. I'm sorry to break your bubble but you have experience racism even if you don't think you have. People are a lot more snaky about their hate as they were back in the 50s. They will smile in your face and say "hi skip, how you doing?" and when they get in their private quarters, they will talk about you like you wouldn't believe.

But anyways if this woman will still love you through all of the family putting you down, it doesn't matter whether they approve of your love or not. Your not with them, your wit her.

Think about it.
 prettyandcurvy
Joined: 2/20/2012
Msg: 165
Racist Family
Posted: 3/17/2012 7:36:30 PM



I have been told by many people I am the whitest black person they have ever met. Most people do not even think I am black because I am very light skinned and don't act black in any way.


by using phrases such as "whitest black person" and "act black" aren't you showing racism yourself?

please explain how a "whitest" black person would be? or how people "act black"?

are all whites the same, all blacks the same, stereotypical behavior patterns?

I'm GUESSING by 'act white' you mean use proper grammar & enunciation, etc. and by 'act black' you mean act "Gangsta" & talk in Ebonics?

sort of racist of you, no?

does Mr. President B.H. Obama "act black" ?


OutofControlMan, those were the primary points that stood out to me from the post. The OP is trying to validate how great he is by distancing himself from what he considers to be the looks and behavior of the average black person. Yes, he is a black person who is racist against other blacks. Disturbing and sad.
 MochaBeauty_Lisha
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 166
Racist Family
Posted: 3/17/2012 7:46:54 PM
First of all what is "ACT BLACK" I have seen some ghetto white people and black people. I never seen a color "ACT" a certain way, and just because your lightskinned dont mean nothing your still black to society thats why that white girl family don't accept you. Grow up and get a life...It doesn't matter where you grew up...your still a black man
 prettyandcurvy
Joined: 2/20/2012
Msg: 167
Internalized Racism
Posted: 3/17/2012 7:49:05 PM

What does it mean to "act black"? If I were you, I would stress to the family that you hold just as many negative stereotypes about black men and women that they do. You all probably have a great deal in common.

Also, you could stress that since you are so obsessed with whiteness that you are happy to spend the rest of your life trying to prove yourself worthy to a woman who hasn't accomplished much, and who comes from a family who also hasn't accomplished much. Stress how she could sit back and benefit from your inferiority complex, and that you love eating scraps.


LOL!!
brownstonegatsby, and in your funny and intelligent way, I wish you would have called the OP out on his assertion that he has never in his life experienced racism although he grew up in a predominately white neighborhood. I highly doubt that he never experienced racism and I think this guy is truly delusional.
 prettyandcurvy
Joined: 2/20/2012
Msg: 168
Racist Family
Posted: 3/17/2012 8:07:55 PM

Thank you, I thought I was going on a bit, but I'm glad it was understood..


CharityTrue, it was understood and appreciated by those of use who have the same sentiments but lack an equal gift for expressing ourselves :-)
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 169
Racist Family
Posted: 3/18/2012 6:19:20 AM
ur are full of doo-doo!!! "whitest black person they ever met" "most people dont even think that I am black because I am so light skinned" "Dont act black".....WTF is wrong with u???? Our President is 1/2 white, yet to EVERYONE he is a BLACK MAN. Does he "act black"???? WTF does that mean??? Not to mention u are stuck on this light-skin vs dark skin issue, "light is right" WTF is wrong with u?????? Personally, I hope u get with this chick, and she takes ur ignorant ass to the cleaners, TIGER WOODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


BTW: You came from a black woman, got ur name from a black woman, its time for u to man up and ACT LIKE A BLACK MAN!!!!
 lightbrownsuga2luv
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 170
Racist Family
Posted: 3/18/2012 6:54:01 AM
First of all, I think you should learn how to not be racist yourself.

What does "I don't act Black" mean? I understand where you're coming from, but the way you said it makes it sound to me as if you are. Think about it, what does "act black " I'm a black american that speaks well, I don't have any type of slang, I know how to communicate, I'm not into the act cool thing, but yes I like R&B, yes I watch
Tyler Perry, yes I cook soul food.
So please tell me why do people "name" on a culture? Anyone that has ever said to me, you look like you have some African american in you, but is that you're whole culture "race" cause you don't "act like it".
I ask them, what am I supposed to act like.
Yes, I was raised in a middle to upper class family, lived and is living in suburbs, my kids go to school with predominantly white school. So what.

To answer your question, be you if the lady your seeing doesn't have issues with you then don't worry about the family. Are you going to ask her to marry her? For how I see it... is you are not dateing the parents or familyyour dating their daughter. You need to really know how this woman feels about you before you start really getting concernd about her family. Once you really figure that out then I say still be yourself when you are around her family, you be who you are. Don't let anyone else change that.
 CulturedBlackMan
Joined: 2/20/2012
Msg: 171
Racist Family
Posted: 3/18/2012 9:34:26 AM
I'll admit to not reading the responses (9-pages?).....

OFFICIAL NOTIFICATION::

We are sorry to inform you that despite your up-bringing and self-defined ideology you are Black. I know this comes as a shock to your perspective but Black people now span the spectrum of lifestyles and career/business endeavors. Blacks folks have attained education to the highest levels of academia. Oh, yes Black folks have a grasp of the english language: we actually can be very articulate, speak with proper diction and enunciation, although like most, spelling even escapes Black folks at times....lol.

Your pension for white girls does NOT exclude you from your Blackness. Embrace your own definition of what it means to be Black and more focus on you as a whole and complete person.

Welcome Black man.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 172
Racist Family
Posted: 3/18/2012 12:36:53 PM
well he has black checked under Ethnicity so he picked something wonder why he checked black if hes the whitest man as he said,,he should have just checked white for the way he puts himself out there an what he had to talk about..
 lightbrownsuga2luv
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 173
Racist Family
Posted: 3/19/2012 12:51:43 PM
Well said (CultureBlackMan).
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 174
Racist Family
Posted: 3/19/2012 1:57:32 PM
Ya know, OP, I am presenting dating a black man who is definitely a black man. My extended family lives in Oklahoma and my brother-in-law is quite prejudiced. My sister is not.

But IF she were, it wouldn't make any difference. I am going to date whom I am going to date. I would not expect nor want this man to try to "win over" my family.

The only person whom he has to win over is ME.
 aboutgettingby
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 175
Racist Family
Posted: 3/19/2012 2:31:14 PM
How much time does your gf spend with her family, how much time will she expect you to spend with them.

Does it bother you, does it bother your girlfreind.

It seems to me I wouldn't want anyone telling me what will work and what won't. Let's face it, it will require more effort from the both of you, only you are going to be able to decide if it is worth it.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Racist Family