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 Womac911
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 25
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Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
As a 40 year old man without a child to raise, my own biological clock is ticking. Quickly. At 40, I feel the possibilities of finding a woman who's either A: young enough to safely bear children or B: Still wants children - or C: attracted to an old fogey -- to be growing slimmer by the day.
I have something special I want to pass on to my children. Not only the knowledge I have learned through unique mentors, but the business legacy I have been working on for the last 13 years. When I am done, it could provide for my children, and their children, and so on, if they wish to carry it on. And for my own selfish sense of immortality, I hope they do.
I want to teach my children the respect I learned, the integrity I was given, and the unusual, rare skills I have acquired during my time here.
I want to be young enough still to be able to do stuff with them.

I sometimes regret spending ten years with someone unable to have children. In the end, it was my choice, but then again, I thought it would be a forever thing.

It it difficult for me to see my siblings sometimes, because they have children.

Yes, it will be my biggest regret if I do not.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 30
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Do you think childless old men (Who are you calling old?) ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/30/2011 2:53:11 AM
No regrets here. Lets just take care of the children that are already here who may need a good male figure in their lives.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 33
Do you think childless old men (Who are you calling old?) ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/30/2011 5:19:36 AM
It's the year 2011,almost 2012 and I am sure if you really want a biological child you can have one. Is that what you "want" or is it someting you "need"?????? It is a question you must ask yourself, and answer truthfully. And more. Like,,,,,why is it that you have this "need" or "want",,,cause you are asking about "biological" which makes me believe you have want to pass on your genes???? Are your genes worth that much to pass on????? Or do you actually want to be a father, and raise a child to become a productive part of society?????

If you do have "regrets" it's only because of your "beliefs" or "thoughts" of what could be/should be. And unless you truely "know", you are just guessing about the "regrets" and why you would have them. I personally, don't put much into "regrets" about my past actions. Why???? Cause I tend to think before doing,and if I actually want something badly enough, or need it,,,,,I'll be doing it,come hell or high water.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 34
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Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/30/2011 5:39:55 AM
I dated a man who at 50 was in here lying about his age because he regretted his decision while married to not have children. He was hoping to meet someone younger and start a family.
I dated another man who also had decided to not have children while married. Now single, he regretted it.
You may regret it years down the road if you compromise on this. You may not. We all make choices in life and have to live with them.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 35
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/30/2011 5:50:20 AM
An old man with no biological kids will be no sorrier than an old man who is alone without a wife and a stepchild. If you think it is hard to meet a woman in your mid 30s with whom you can have a child, just wait until you are in your 40s and 50s.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 39
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/30/2011 7:10:00 AM
I worry about things I can change, the past is not one of them.
 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 41
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/30/2011 8:55:05 AM
since you ask the question that way (as an absolute)..

Ever? some men? yes.

Always,? or all men? no.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 48
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/30/2011 1:06:16 PM
Ya know, on second thought, you should let this woman go. She shouldn't be put "on hold" because you think that you might want a child.
 Bob2452
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 50
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/30/2011 8:35:19 PM
I am not quite an old man yet-at least I tell myself that, but I think I am old enough to answwer your question. This one does regret never having children. I see my friends with kids and grandkids and I have seen the joy on a young man's face when he looks at his newborn son. At that moment, I would have given anything to be him. However, I am also painfully aware of how difficult it is to find the right person to spend your life with-at 59 I am still looking. I would definintely not give up on your relationship if everything else is great. And who knows? Maybe she will change her mind. If she really loves you and knows it is important to you to have your own child that may be enough to convince her. Also I have known women who were quite adament that they did not want children and surprise surprise-the next thing I hear they are pregnant and are quiet passionate and committed to having children. So hang in there. Try to be a good step father to her daughter; it is great practice. Good luck.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 52
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Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/31/2011 3:46:46 AM
Guess I'm "old" since I'm over 50

Never wanted kids, didn't have any. My ex had two teen-age boys and she wasn't able to have any more. Perfectly ok with that. Now divorced, childless, "fixed" and no regrets.
I think my life is good. American, living in Europe. I can travel whenever I want, no ties or responsibilties other than my own.
Loads of women constantly saying "you'll feel different when you get older".
Didn't happen.
Not knocking people with kids, just saying I have ABSOLUTELY no regrets about not having kids.
OP, you may feel different. I don't know your head or background.
But, I'll just answer your question.

No.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 53
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Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/31/2011 5:05:57 AM
Do her doggy style then go out and buy a puppy

Its not exactly the same, but with a bit of imagination its kind of heading in the right direction
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 54
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Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/31/2011 5:34:18 AM
I guess there might be some guys who wanted kids but didn't have them; but I myself don't miss 'em at all. As I was growing up, of course I heard all the remarks about how wonderful it was to have kids, how rewarding it was, how you should have them 'so you don't grow old alone'. Bull. Everybody grows old alone. Sure, when they're young, kids love grandparents. But later they treat it like a chore to visit them. Same with the grown kids. No one really wants to spend time with old people. They do it out of obligation. Who needs people who are only with you because they feel they have to be? And, of course, watching my friends and coworkers wonderful lives filled with the turmoil and aggravation of children. Virtually every guy I know had what I liked to call 'the Al Bundy' face. Pure frustration. Working two, three jobs to support wife, kids and lifestyle, and for what? So they can work every day of their lives before they drop dead?
NO thanks. I was lucky I got divorced before the trouble started. Now I work one job, take great vacations, never worry about bills. No multiple hundred thousand dollar college tuition payments. No daughter expecting me to cough up $50,000 for an overpriced wedding, which the wife of course agrees to because she feels we must keep up appearances.
I may not be 'happily married' i.e., overworked, but in general I'm content. Too much is built up simply to perpetuate the society. Over half of all marriages fail, most of the rest aren't happy either. Non married relationships fail even more often.
Bad childhoods for the kids are the result.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 59
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/31/2011 11:39:24 AM
If you feel that you need to have your own biological children, and she does not want any more kids, it has nothing to do with whether one of you is being selfish or whether or not you should go with a sure thing...you are simply incompatible. If it's something you truly want in life, then you WILL feel regrets for not having done it. Sometimes we choose to stay with what's not right for us because it's safe, but in the end, it won't work out because it's not compatible with what we truly want and need. You need to choose whether you would rather to take a gamble at something you truly want or are willing to settle for less because it's a safer bet.

In my experience, when someone says they truly don't want children, they aren't going to change their mind. I spent four years with someone hoping he'd change his mind before I realized that I didn't want to leave that decision in my life up to someone else. That didn't mean I was hell bent that I wanted more kids, just that I wanted it to be an option for the future if my partner and I chose, not something that was a unilateral decision of never. If I had been wiser, I'd have not let the relationship go on for so long and saved myself a lot of heartache by accepting that we were incompatible from the get go. I stayed because I don't meet a lot of men that I connect with very often and it was safe. Since then, I've met a wonderful man from POF, we are now living together, and he does want kids in the future (as I have decided I do as well). If you settle for less than you want, you're going to get less than you want; but if you take a gamble, you have a better chance at hitting the jackpot than if you never took a chance at all.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 60
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 12/31/2011 6:12:58 PM
When my two best friends got married, about 8 years ago, she knew she never wanted children. He had always wanted children but promised her that he could live with her decision.

After a couple of years of marriage he decided he had to have another focus in his life so he went on to become a very successful triathlete.

Throughout their marriage, whenever they argued it ALWAYS led to her selfishness about not having children, and his resentment about it, and his deception at saying he could live with the decision. ALWAYS. It was the underlying simmering issue that they tried to ignore but it was always there.

About 9 months ago they divorced. He is 43 and has been dating a woman for about 8 months now. She is 3 months pregnant with their child. Being older, and both having been through a failed marriage, they are confident they can make it work.

I am sooooo happy for him as he is perfect 'dad' material and I was always sad that he had been prepared to give that up.

I think if you want your own children, but decide not to, it always leaves you with a sadness that never quite goes away.
 coyotefeller
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 65
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/5/2012 6:00:48 PM
I forget what the rules are about posting a link
but I would like for people to lighten up a bit ...dammit!

http://graphjam.memebase.com/2009/03/03/song-chart-memes-find-mates/

Oh and 33 is hardly the end of time !
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 69
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/21/2012 6:30:33 AM
There must be plenty of "older" men regretting not having kids in their prime...I've lost count of the 50-something men with 3, 4 and 5 year old kids.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 71
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/21/2012 6:43:03 AM
Yes OP, some of us do.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 72
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/21/2012 6:53:32 AM

I've met a damn sight more people who regret having them than regret NOT having them.


That would make sense, as a lot more people have them than don't.
 jeffm10456
Joined: 5/25/2010
Msg: 73
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Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/21/2012 7:57:37 AM
I agree with Adora71 as part of my advice. You can also consider adopting her children as your own. I married a woman who already had a child, I adopted the child, we later had a child together. I do not feel any difference in my love for these two children. It is my opinion that you adopting her children might fulfill your desire for kids
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 76
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/21/2012 8:31:01 AM

Hire a surrogate to carry your child.If I had the money to do this I would.

This is what I was thinking when I read the OP. I'm not sure if this woman just doesn't want to CARRY another child, or if she doesn't want to raise another child. If it's the former, a surrogate could be a good option.
 aquaestprofunda
Joined: 12/28/2011
Msg: 77
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/21/2012 5:31:26 PM
DON'T DO IT!!!! I also met my wife with a little girl and we dated had a blast. She also sais that she does not want to have any children. I am a first generation Mexican with a large and extended family. My mom did not approve her because of not wanting to have kids and wold always present me with other women. I finally just was honest with her and told her that I CANNOT Marry her unless we can have kids and was ready to break it off. Until, she tells me that she is pregnant. Now we have a three year old daughter, I want more kids but she decided to tie her tubes when she had out daughter.

Regarding the dating seen you are looking in the wrong places, I am short, fat and bald, I have no trouble finding dates.Be more social. Lates
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 78
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/21/2012 6:27:59 PM
I don't regret it because I don't feel it was my fault. I cannot just shoot one out, that is impossible. I apologize to my mother for not giving her grandchildren. No matter how much I achieve in life, I feel like I have failed. I try not to think about it too much, and make the best of what I have.
 Nathanwg
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 80
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Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/21/2012 9:14:44 PM
I would imagine that some men might. Although I cannot speak personally for every guy in the world, I can tell you that this is my greatest fear in life. There is a song that describes this predicament: "Blessed" by Elton John.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 81
Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/22/2012 4:35:25 AM

Do you think childless old men (potentially me, 40 years from now) ever regret never having their own biological kids?


Only you can or will be able to answer that question,,the choices we make in life will effect us forever,,my point is,, live without regrets,,as long as we make sound choices with the information we have at hand.

This may help,, my wife passed away when I was 43, Penny was 40. We never had children, I never wanted to be a father, because I was afraid and immature, selfish,, but my wife did, and couldn't,, Any way i agreed to because she assured me I would be a good dad ,Penny knew me better than i knew myself,,we tried so many times,,everything failed,,long story short we adopted a little boy, at his age of 1, my wife passed away..my point to all that, 11yrs later, My son Kyle is my Son,, I love him, and never think about him being adopted, he loves me as his dad.My son is also autistic, we have a bond that so many comment on when we go out some where,, it's incredible to experience such a wonderful feeling as being his dad, I am honored,,

If you choose to,, you can be that person/dad to any child,if you so chose to.

Good Luck with your choices,, PS I would never give up love in hopes of something different in life, meaning you found Love go for it,, that's just me..
 pupdaddy12003
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 83
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Do you think childless old men ever regret never having biological kids?
Posted: 1/22/2012 6:23:45 PM
...I regret it everyday. There are women who have contacted me here on POF that I don't make an effort to meet because they have no interest in having children anymore. I doubt I'll ever find one now too....
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