Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 13
second flag disaster?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Should have confronted her when you caught her in the act. Now it's time to cut bait and run...
Joined: 6/14/2011
Msg: 14
view profile
second flag disaster?
Posted: 12/31/2011 8:42:03 AM
Your instincts that things ended up in a disaster are spot on.

Disrespectful, demanding and paranoid behaviour wouldn't be acceptable to most of us in a longterm relationship.

Good job she showed you who she is this early on...and now that she's shown you, it's your job to believe her.

Good luck!

Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 17
view profile
second flag disaster?
Posted: 12/31/2011 9:02:10 AM
Yeah, take it at face value and stop analyzing it. She's batshit crazy, and you have first-hand proof. Let her drive some other poor **stard nuts.
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 21
second flag disaster?
Posted: 12/31/2011 10:20:15 AM
OMG should have thrown her out when you seen her going thru your phone..she is crazy...
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 23
second flag disaster?
Posted: 12/31/2011 10:35:48 AM
. You can look forward to a relationship where you must explain every conversation, every woman you encounter and any time you spend apart.Sounds ugly to me..

I actually dont mind a girl knowing who I talk to; as long as she can trust me when I tell her what's happening, or not happening. Furthermore; she must be able to handle it, or eclipse it. <---She's allowed to compete, but if it starts getting fervent and manufactured (i.e. fake and/or unhealthy); it's a problem.

I have no secrets I fear being uncovered. (none)

All "my" business and "relationships" are what they are with your involvement; or without it. All you do by getting involved is chance hurting yourself, or your own interests.


I'd take her looking through my phone as just trying to get to know me more. HIDING The fact that she's snooping would pi*s me off. THAT shows that she's going to try and control me, and learn me without ME knowing, OR my consent. (That's a form of rape in my books)

Looking through my phone, would also drop you in standings competetively. It is a guaranteed x; but not worth dropping you itself

Wanna know?


This chick sounds like a wingding though; way too confrontational, assumptive, RUDE, and drama filled. Buy her a seasons pass to Pfizer Farm, and send her on her way

but I don't like to be questioned incessantly, especially that early!! It also comes across as a slam to my integrity and I don't take kindly to that.


It's all in the methodology. She could ask you nicely how many girls you see, etc etc in SO many nicer, less abrasive or urgent ways; AND in ways that made it clear where she stands and wants to stand.

I had a girl say I was A.D.D. because I wouldnt focus on the topics she chose for conversation, without caring what I wanted to talk about, or share of eachother.

She's gone now.

(The belittle them, and 'make em feel like bad people til they give in, and let you completely run them' thing doesnt work with me)

Aww c'mon, he probably just got a text so she wanted to read it for him. Give the gal a break. Haven't you ever gone through someone else's phone?

Sarcasm right?

That's like going through a new business aquaintances rolodex.

Disrespectful, demanding and paranoid behaviour wouldn't be acceptable to most of us in a longterm relationship

Guess that pretty much wraps it up.
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 25
view profile
second flag disaster?
Posted: 12/31/2011 10:50:01 AM

Is this RED FLAG or me being too protective of my privacy and zero tollerance for that drama early on? Opinions please?

Dude..are you frickin blind here? Red Flag, HUGE frickin red flag, red smoke, red dawn..dump this crazy chic..and I bet you will hear from her again, if you aren't stalked by this wacko.

geezz..what's it going to take for you to see this..dead bunnies on your door step?
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 26
second flag disaster?
Posted: 12/31/2011 10:56:12 AM
Red Flag, HUGE frickin red flag, red smoke, red dawn..

Now there's a man who knows how to make a point loud n clear

Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 27
second flag disaster?
Posted: 12/31/2011 11:05:22 AM
Yeah, she's crazy. Jealous people will have a point to things -- and they can convince some of us, for at least a small fraction of time, that we're "bad" or could be "bad" to some degree, and sympathy for other people's feelings will help anchor that.

Having A date, taking things slow, does not mean Exclusivity. Having a second date does not mean Exclusivity. Someone wanting that isn't necessarily crazy -- but they need to lay things out on what they want beforehand.

She went beyond that. Some people take A date (or two & communication) as if you're married. It's very very serious to them to go out on a Date with someone, and they have issues. She probably was cheated on & lied to several times in the past, and is pre-emptively going to think you are porking other women and lying about this that and the other thing.

People like that, you need to steer clear from. If you're okay with a gal you're into, right off the bat, to be 100% exclusive before getting to know each other that much, that's fine (although I wouldn't advise it in 90% situations) -- but if they're jealous-as-hell from the get go then, it's going to be hell later on. You deserve to have privacy and your own personal life before you're going steady with a gal, and she's sure as sh!t a wacko for barging thru your stuff and being a hardcore investigative reporter toward you. Don't let their argument that they want to know if you're seeing/communicating/sleeping-with any other women trick you into thinking that you have to make everything in your life 100% known as if you're on a 24/7 Reality Show and she's the only viewer...
Joined: 12/11/2007
Msg: 28
view profile
second flag disaster?
Posted: 12/31/2011 11:16:59 AM
REd Flag..Red Flag...Run run !!!!
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 31
second flag disaster?
Posted: 12/31/2011 1:44:26 PM
This is way too much to fast. Going through your phone, violating your privacy, & all this drama! You are NOT off base here, things are certainly not going to get any better, she has started things off to a bad note & you're going to get more of the same if you contine to see her. She sounds like psycho drama queen from hell.
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 32
second flag disaster?
Posted: 12/31/2011 3:57:31 PM
run, forest, run
I am an equal opportunity dump advisor
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 38
second flag disaster?
Posted: 1/2/2012 3:03:19 PM
justtroylooking- You know this is nuts, you don't need us to tell you that.
The second date and she's already possessive, jealous, clingy?!!
You are not off base.
Block her and move on. (and thank your lucky stars that she showed her true colors before you got any further invested)
Btw- I'm divorced now, but I was married for twenty one years and in all that time, I only looked through my now ex's phone once and that was after we had a fight and he left and stayed gone all night.
It's just not something sane people do without a good reason and she had no reason.
She sounds like a class A whack job to me, runnnnnnnn forest run!
Joined: 12/26/2010
Msg: 45
view profile
second flag disaster?
Posted: 2/1/2012 7:47:47 PM
She's a total nutcase. The only thing you've done 'wrong' OP is not protect yourself enough --be more assertive/set clear boundaries with people. Don't be passive. You sound super nice, but there's such a thing as setting yourself up to be a victim. This woman's behavior was clearly insane and probably criminal, and yet you're still questioning yourself--why?
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >