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Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 263
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Why don't women approach guys much?Page 15 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I think it will always be this way for a few more million years.

I have alot of female friends, none approach men, they get all pretty and go out guys are expected to follow and they do, mostly agressive assertive guys that have alot of practce. Some have profiles in dating sites and complain about getting waay too many e-mails like 50 per day. The older women (in their 40's and 50's ) complain getting just 5 a day to as little as 1 per week.

Alot of guys such as i have sent probably 100's of e-mails in the past here and maybe gotten a couple of hello not interested responses. If I go to a party or a bar or at a store and I do not approach women initially i can spend weeks like this without having to speak to a woman.

It is the way it is , some women in thier maturity and/or loneliness do get up some courage to approach a couple of times, when rejected and/or given cool responses, shy away from ever doing that again.

Women never realize that a typical guy who actually tries can get at least 10 rejections a day in a social setting , some rejections are almost stealthy some are cool a few can be bruttal but we move on. Some pretend to have not seen or hear guys.

My record amount of rejections was 23 at a club, I ended up dancing with the one with the mustach as my buds saw she also rejected alot of guys.

It is the way it is, I do get dates, i know I am a very good catch but have a problem getting one woman to respond eventually to LTR.

It is a woman's choice to choose among the list of guys and if a woman has no suiers or men looking for them, they must look at the competition and respond and see what the failure is at.

I have female friends of all sizes ages and levels, none ever had a problem until they lost their touch to attract, either physically or internally or both.
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 264
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 12/18/2012 11:39:14 AM
re: #350 - I'd call/walk up to you, but I live several hundred miles away and I'm just outside your target age range....
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 265
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 12/19/2012 8:56:41 AM
sun_and_cinnamon post 350

find myself stuck in those awkward situations like at the grocery store, you see him,....I start to secretely undress him with my eyes.... he wants to say something and doesn't?

Where is it that you go grocery shopping and at what time? I will meet you in the frozen or the vegetables section. We can have plenty of visual fun. Thing is, unless the man is a player, (and I am sure that's not what you are looking for) most men are as as uncomfortable as you are to make the first "cold" conversation with stranger at the supermarket. It takes training, habit, to approach strangers. Unless a man's work is in a "salesman" position, where he approaches people & women on a daily basis, most men simply do not know HOW to approach a beautiful woman/stranger they see from a distance. Further, the FEAR of rejection is also a strong deterrent. Then as you said/wrote : "I usually say all the wrong things being caught off guard"... the same thing goes for men... they often say the wrong things, by being NERVOUS.

it happened to me numerous times, until I started to read the tricks about being a pick up artist. There were exercises that I tried to build my confidence, like when walking in a mall to stare at any women walking towards me, without ever breaking eye contact, until she passes you at your side, for a few weeks. The idea was not to "break conversation", but simply be aware of the eye contact, and reaction, smiles or not from women. That slowly made me aware of a world that I did not know existed after 14yrs of marriage. Women that are interested, DO NOT BREAK eye contact, they keep looking and smile. Then I also read about what to say if I was to break convo with a stranger.

PROBLEM IS NOW that, (after 4 yrs of practice) when I approach women in public settings, (mall, grocery store, sidewalk) some ask me if I am a player, as they recognize or think that ONLY (in their mind) a player would have the COURAGE or GUTS to approach them "cold call"!!

See you dammed if you do approach, and you dammed is you don't approach. After getting BLOCKED by a few women with that unexpected statement "you must be a player", I read more about what to respond... back to throw off her objections! But I lost some good prospect during the learning process

My point is, that it is as hard for "unexperienced" men to approach women. Women do not like player, but YET the likelyhood that a player IS THE ONE that will approach her cold call, it is not likely that she will get approached in public settings.... so she will KEEP on SUFFERING in SILENCE.... Just because she thinks that "it's the man job to approach"..... So much bull and double standards!

I say that there's nothing wrong for a woman to Say Hi to a man, when she is interested, because that MAY be HER only last chance at meeting this guy EVER again.. it works both ways.... WHY would you women accept to SUFFER in SILENCE?? and not attempt to break convo with the guy you like?? What have you got to LOOSE?? Nothing...
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 266
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 12/19/2012 9:42:34 AM
Self Esteem
-I know I will get lots of flack for this below- But again this is said in GENERALITY... in general...

As a man, I often get approached by women, but they are BBW, 5-6 on the 1-10 scale and certainly not 10. The theory is that women close to a 10, have very low self esteem, and Women closer to a 5-6 scale have very HIGH self esteem. Why? cuz a 10, is always wondering if she looks good enough, or if she is prettier than the other woman 10. She also is used to have men shower her with gift... simply because of her looks! So her looks GETS her things, houses, cars, trips around the world. Hence her self esteem is low. On the other hand, the 5-6 woman's self esteem is VERY HIGH, because she has to WORK, because no one will pay her bills, she is used to WORK to get what she wants. That build SELF ESTEEM... she does not need a man to live. Just like rich parents give their children everything, they do not teach the value of working and SELF WORTH, when suddenly if the parents loose their wealth, and the children NOW adults, have to go to work to survive, their self confidence is at the lowest, as they do not have the ability, or the know how to go to work! In our society, We are all labeled by "what we do", our jobs.

On the other hand, the 10, has been used to get what she wants with her looks. So she usually does not have to "work" to get what she wants, cuz "rich-wuss-men" give her what she wants, simply for being pretty! That surely does not build confidence, but self doubts... that when a man stops paying attention to her, she wonder if her "looks" are ok.... and here begin the vicious circle.

Of course my example shows 2 extremes, but it has a representation of where self esteem comes from. Women that are 10, often will NOT approach men, unless she is a a groupie chasing a basketball or football player, or musician. Women that are lower than a 10, are higher in self worth, cuz they have to... and they are the one that will approach men, cuz NO men (on average) are interested in them. For fear of not getting HIT on, theses 5-6 women, have taken their self esteem in their hands and DO make the approach towards MEN....cuz they would never get what they want...a very less likely to get hit on by men.... IN GENERAL!

My point is, that it is as hard for "unexperienced" men to approach women. Women do not like player, but YET the likelyhood that a player IS THE ONE that will approach her cold call, it is not likely that she will get approached in public settings by a "regular guy" .... so she will KEEP on SUFFERING in SILENCE.... Just because she thinks that "it's the man job to approach"..... Problem is, the man's job has been emasculated by the fears of all those "lawsuits, and restraining orders". So much bull and double standards! It's funny to be labeled as a player, when I am genuinely trying to find THE ONE, simply using tricks I have learned on how to approach, in order NOT to be awkward with women... and the confidence that women secretly long for in a man, immediately makes them think that I am a player!! You simply can't satisfy women! SO I say, it's 2013, and women should also do some of the leg work and approach men... regardless if she is a 10 or a 5..... what's wrong with that?? an stop suffering in silence!

Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 267
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 12/19/2012 8:34:45 PM
I'd sure like to see your approach. I usually start undressing men with my eyes somewhere around the produce section. Hmm I can't speak for all women but maybe it was just the men that had approached me before, but none of them have ever come across as a player. Maybe I lucked out?
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 268
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 12/20/2012 12:08:53 PM
RE: ^ - ... And how many of us are now moving to Sacramento County...? ;-)
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