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 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 26
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Why don't women approach guys much?Page 2 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Plus he always has to make the first move... but too much, and he's a "player"!
 ARoseGlove
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 27
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/8/2012 1:05:53 PM
this is going to the extreme when cookie cutting the "right guy" but you dont think guys also do this...and if so these people are just immensely hard to please and really dont deserve anyone flawless or imperfect.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 28
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/8/2012 5:13:30 PM

and if so these people are just immensely hard to please and really dont deserve anyone flawless or imperfect.


There's no law against being unrealistic. If a woman thinks she's amazing enough to land a guy like that, good luck. Wanting and getting are two different things.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 29
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/8/2012 8:50:57 PM
And even if guys expectations are ever "unrealistic", at least we're willing to put some effort into seeking it, instead of just waiting around for it to magically "happen"!
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 30
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/9/2012 6:33:47 PM

Which makes me wonder how many other women here are actually like that, all just hanging around hoping and waiting for somebody else to make a move


Isn't that what happens at high school dances???
 atlasreclining
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 31
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/10/2012 10:28:25 AM
“As long as people believe in absurdities, they will continue to commit atrocities.” ~Voltaire

Its amazing to me that while men continue to lose ground to women, and this is well documented and backed up by statistics.. women are still deferred to, have access to money and programs men will never have access too. In the late 60s/early 70s a great lie was presented as truth to the women of this country.. that being a wife/homemaker/ a partaker of the traditional societal role was a wrong and akin to slavery. And what role did men have... Providers, and that was pretty much the onl;y role available to us at that time, has anyone ever thought that men didnt like their lot in life and that they might like to slow down, not work the hours they did in order to provide.. food and shelter. Most men worked long hours, or traveled long distances, or hung upside down surrounded by steel in order to provide for their families, and so I have to ask you who was the real slave??
Its tough to know what women are thinking and what they expect and most of the time it seems like its exactly the opposite of what men do or want. So many mixed signals I just give up!!
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 32
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/10/2012 11:34:37 AM

Its tough to know what women are thinking and what they expect and most of the time it seems like its exactly the opposite of what men do or want.


Sometimes it does seem like that phrase from the poem, "ours not to reason why, ours but to do, and die." I'd like to believe that what we men do is appreciated, and that we eventually get something in return. I'd also like to think most women have a sense of fair play, but too often, I haven't seen that. I'm not jaded, but my eyes are open.

It would be nice to think there are women who would care about me for more than just fun. I don't want to feel like a praying mantis, thinking that after my partner's gotten what she wanted from me, I'm expendable. It gets harder to see women as kind, sweet, and loving, after you've had some of them show you the cold, cruel, calculating side they 'd have sworn they didn't have.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 33
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/10/2012 7:49:09 PM
Not to be rude, but frankly, do you expect a medal just for taking some initiative once in awhile.... or worse, you want some sort of "guarantee"? Or haven't you noticed just from reading here, that guys experience this kinda stuff all the time...?!

BTW, I used to believe in giving a polite "no thanks" note... but several very unkind "parting shots" cured me of that (and apparently there's a reason for the bit about "a woman scorned...")!
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 34
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/10/2012 8:13:53 PM

Nope. Not saying I'm special. :) Just saying that if guys actually responded, that maybe it would encourage women to then speak up to the next man that catches her eye. I never said that men are the only ones guilty of this.

My point is, I have so far (to my memory) never gotten a reply back from a guy that I messaged. I don't send paragraphs, and neither do I say a boring old "hi" or the lackluster and pointless, "what's up." It just makes you sit back and not try anymore after a while!
I'm right there with you. I don't think it's so much guys v. girls as much as common courtesy isn't so common any more. Not too mention 'codependency' is on the rise. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Well, that's all I can think of anyway.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 35
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/10/2012 9:33:39 PM

Even if it's to say "thanks for your email, but I'm not interested"? I don't like games or stringing people along, either. I belong to the grown-up world, personally. :) Interesting to see the perspectives.

If at first you don't succeed (or for the hundredth time, either)... lol


I agree. I prefer common decency. But that's how I view. Some would just prefer not to waste time as Steve mentioned. And that's ok too. The one's that I find annoying are the one's whose profiles say they are nice, or ok with meeting new friends, or just want to hang out and not have a relationship. Really?..then why not a reply? even one to say they aren't interested or cool with just being friends?

But, it's not like i lose sleep over it or anything.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 36
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/10/2012 9:36:31 PM
ANd BTW, I would never consider a woman 'easy' or anything like that just because she took the time and showed some confidence in approaching me. If anything it's worth brownie points with me.

ALthough, I did have a drunk girl get all over me and ask me to take her home after coming up to me only 5-10 minutes prior. Um, no thanks, I'M not that easy.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 37
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/10/2012 9:51:03 PM

ALthough, I did have a drunk girl get all over me and ask me to take her home after coming up to me only 5-10 minutes prior. Um, no thanks, I'M not that easy.


Then you have to decide just HOW drunk the girl is. Where is the line between "She's feeling good and wants my company" and "She's absolutely gassed, and I'd feel like a weasel in the morning"? Maybe it depends on how pretty she is. I've missed out on a few sure things that way, but there are limits.
 Truly_Me
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 38
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/11/2012 7:58:11 PM
JS, I feel your pain. I also think ponygt hit the nail on the head when he said, "I don't think it's so much guys v. girls as much as common courtesy isn't so common any more."

I almost always reply to any mail I get. I try hard to practice what I preach...but that, unfortunately, doesn't seem to be universal--or even very common--among men or women. Just remember that respectful, honest men are out there. And I, for one, love being approached by women!
 atlasreclining
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 39
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/12/2012 9:58:59 AM
I think we've all dealt with that feeling of rejection.. I think men know it all too well, but since this is 2012, and this is online dating, why do women say they are old fashioned?? really?

The other thing to consider is that we arent in a room together gazing at each other, so how are we ever suppose to know if anyone likes each other? There is no body language to read, no glances, nothing. So what do men have to go on... really nothing when you think about it.
I have been contacted several times using the "meet me " feature, I then contacted the girl and guess what... nothing!! Are we all just pissing in the wind here or is anyone serious about this??
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 40
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:31:36 AM
For better or worse, I learned these ropes years ago. CL was a great proving ground, a knock-down drag out kind of medium, much different than the kinder, gentler POF that we use today.
No forums to get advice, no profile assistance, hey, no profile, I forgot, that's how long ago this was.
POF even has videos now, so you can have the best possible "experience." I watched the one for men, what a joke, I shut it off right away. It showed this dude, and there was a photo of him playing a violin, give me a BREAK !! The gay-alarm sirens were popping off all over the neighborhood. What woman would want to talk to that guy??
What the H are they thinking, at POF central?
 atlongcontrast
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 41
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:24:16 AM
I feel like I do my fair share of message sending.
 callme_k
Joined: 3/23/2011
Msg: 42
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 2/5/2012 1:44:06 AM
i know i have...and ive gotten responses and even had lengthy correspondances, but at times i struggle with not trying to sound "lame" or "wierd"...sometimes its hard to convey stuff like humor and sarcasm. and some of these womens profiles make it sound like if you dont have something amazingly interesting in the subject line they wont bother, but hey whatever....move on to the next...
 C_Thomas_Howell
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 43
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 2/5/2012 6:50:09 AM
Women do approach guys. Just maybe not you. do some reading on body language
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 44
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 2/5/2012 3:08:52 PM
Women approach men all the time. I was walking along the sidewalk the other day, with lots of people out, and every few seconds I was approached by at least one woman. Each time, she was walking the other direction.
 gunner4570
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 45
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 2/6/2012 12:05:50 AM


Yep, they have their long detailed lists for their unicorn man:

He must simultaneously be a tough guy and a softy.....


OMG the man has it nailed square! Bravo!

Id love to be contacted by an attractive lady. The (2) times Ive been contacted, were by ladies that were ah...well over my age..well over..and had not been terribly concerned about their body weight in several decades. And I didnt ignore them..but simply told them I appreciated their interest, but were well out of my range of travel and thanked them very much. All true. No lies. Shy women ..Im not attracted to. Brassy fatties..nother story..but if a "normal" lady would contact me..Id be tickeled to death and would move heaven and earth to at least meet them.

Mark
 RunningFool7
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 46
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 2/6/2012 12:21:16 AM
Because...they don't have to?

On a dating website such as this, women generally get inundated with guys hitting them up. The whole website experience is a LOT different for girls than it is for guys.
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 47
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:00:18 AM
Funny part is on this site, the ladies profiles state very clearly to send a descriptive unique message without being a perv or it will be ignored and when you take the time to write something of substance it gets deleted without being read or responded to (I read all messages and email those im not interested in to tell them why)

Every woman I have taken the time to write a good message too has deleted it without response, however those I bulk messaged did respond its odd

As for being approached, some women do some don't, just like their male counterparts
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 48
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 2/6/2012 12:22:59 PM
So can a woman have too much confidence? Can they be too secure in who they are? Seems to be the case most the time.
 SFGIANTSFAN_IN_SOCAL
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 49
Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 2/6/2012 1:32:15 PM

My experience as a woman when I send a email to a man I rarely get a response...I thought it was because men don't like it when woman make the first move... IDK. Or I am too ugly lol who knows.. So to hear from a man's point of view it is interesting... I do approach men... with no results.


THIS!!!!
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 50
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Why don't women approach guys much?
Posted: 2/6/2012 2:07:55 PM
Rejection doesn't kill ya. its not an excuse to stop trying. If you think about it, if a guy won't respond because you initiated the conversation, how is he going to deal with you in conversation, making decisions, and things like that. I would like to think that being polite, and up front is a good thing. Ya know?
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