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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 126
Who is right?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Trust me, you don't want your girl to dump you and dedicate the song by Beyonce "YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT"


What do you buy the guy to prove you love him and want to marry him? If you don't buy him something of equal value, there's no point in getting married. A guy needs something to show off to his guy friends to show proof a woman wants to marry him.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 127
Who is right?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:28:13 AM

OMG...WTF , what will he say next that she doesn't need a wedding dress or ceremony, or a wedding ring either....

It’s hard to argue with om my god what the fuk, but no she doesn’t need a wedding dress either, certainly not a $1500 gown she’ll never wear again. And the ceremony and wedding rings can be mutual and reciprocal matters.


an engagement ring is a symbol of being engaged...of course most men won't get it...but that's their damn problem...

Ah, because we’re stupid.


I would never except a proposal to marry someone without a ring, sorry but girls will be girls.

Another air-tight argument.


It's not a matter of right or wrong, it's a matter common sense.

So let’s hear it.


And of course she's excited about the darn engagement ring, and when she starts to plan the wedding, she will be really excited about that and yes he will fade in the background, it's the way it goes.

Boys are dumb, girls will be girls, it’s common sense and that’s the way it goes.


… all he has to do is show up at the alter and pray she doesn't leave him hanging there.

I’m thinking there could be worse outcomes.


Listen guys..you know how you want to have your man cave room and the biggest damn flatscreen TV on the planet, well a ring is like that for a woman...

Really? I don’t need marriage to have a den w/tv. How is that like a ring?


Trust me, you don't want your girl to dump you and dedicate the song by Beyonce "YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT", ouch!!!!!!!

Did you get the part where the song says “Don’t treat me to these things of the world
 I’m not that kind of girl 
Your love is what I prefer…”? It’s just a song. She’s been crying for three years. She’s a bit confused. Triumphant, yet screechy. Dance-floor self-help. A couple of guys wrote it.
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 128
Who is right?
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:51:42 AM

Trust me, you don't want your girl to dump you and dedicate the song by Beyonce "YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT", ouch!!!!!!!


If she dumps him on the premises that he didn't buy a ring for her, well I might suppose that he probably wouldn't want to be with that type of woman to begin with either.

Yet one can also say if he refuses to buy her something as simple as an engagement ring, then he ain't worth being with either.

Looks like being together might not be the best idea for these two kinds of ppl. ....
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 129
Who is right?
Posted: 1/19/2012 9:24:08 AM
WOW!! Reading this thread makes you wonder, about the understanding between people. I bought the ring, when I was getting married. But really, how much of this is tradition, how much about envy, how much about peer pressure and how much about their lives together?

The flat screen/man cave analogy made me laugh! So let's see if I have this right, he will have a TV she won't watch and she will have a ring he won't wear? Hahahaha!!

Good old ideas of the "special day" always causes me to wince. From 5 years old, girls start thinking about their special day. Complete with a guy, a ring, a big and elaborate party followed by an exotic vacation to some special place.

Cost: well here it can be anything from 10K, to the better part of a million dollars! That's right a MILLION!! I went to wedding in NYC, at a fashionable hotel with a service at Saint Patrick's. Guests numbered 300, lots of limo's, $250 a head for the meal, he bought her the 50K ring. Wedding planner, photographer, videographer, the whole nine yards.

Wouldn't they both have been better served to have saved most of that money for their future life together? Better than inviting all the uncle mort's and aunt tillie's who they have seen 4 times in the last 7 years?

The problem as I see it is both one of expectation and entitlement. Because someone dreams it, doesn't mean that some guy has to make it come true.

JMHO
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 130
Who is right?
Posted: 1/19/2012 2:10:14 PM

(Pixy Dust) Okay if a man asks me to marry him how can we commence without the ring????? I want a ring... and yes, doesn't have to be a totally expensive ring... perhaps 3 mo's pay worth???




Arlo...
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 131
Who is right?
Posted: 1/19/2012 2:59:54 PM

I'll buy the rings, your daddy can provide a nice dowry and pay for the wedding.

Do we know the woman's and/or her family isn't paying for the wedding? Do we know if they're even having a big wedding? Maybe they're going to a chapel in Gatlinburg or a Justice of the Peace at the courthouse. All we know is this 3rd party's story that the woman wants a ring & the boyfriend/fiance doesn't want to buy her one.

I think the other poster was joking about a ring worth 3 months salary. I think the traditional number is 2 months salary, but it really doesn't matter. He doesn't appear to be interested in it regardless of the amount of money spent. I suppose he won't be interested in Valentine's Day or their anniversary or any other romantic gesture...since her wants don't appear to be a big deal to him...and he is clearly in charge.

She seriously needs to....
 Rokei57
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 132
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History
Who is right?
Posted: 1/19/2012 3:16:08 PM
My sons fiance was the same way. She pestered him for years for a ring. As soon as she gave up he gave her a beautiful ring. Men just don't want to be pressured.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 133
Who is right?
Posted: 1/19/2012 5:27:05 PM

Do we know the woman's and/or her family isn't paying for the wedding? Do we know if they're even having a big wedding?

No, we don’t know any of this stuff.


I suppose he won't be interested in Valentine's Day or their anniversary or any other romantic gesture...since her wants don't appear to be a big deal to him...and he is clearly in charge.

And we don’t know any of this stuff either.
 Viviacious1NY
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 134
Who is right?
Posted: 2/2/2012 6:14:46 PM
What kind of guy doesn't want to buy the woman he wants to marry a ring? Sounds like a manipulative cheapskate. And if he truly thinks that she wants the ring more than she wants him, then he shouldn't be getting married. And if the bride to be settles for a ring-less engagement, the marriage will just go downhill from there...
 VADERPRIME
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 135
Who is right?
Posted: 2/2/2012 6:39:42 PM
My engagement ring was expensive, compared to what he made in 2 mths way back when.
But I used it also as my wedding ring ,when the time rolled around 8 years later. It was both our decisions. I personally do not know anyone, who wears their engagement ring and wedding band together after being married for a few years.
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 136
Who is right?
Posted: 2/2/2012 6:47:27 PM
This question was asked a few weeks ago.
I think a woman should get a ring if she thinks it's important. An engagement ring is symbolic for someone's love and a man should want to get a ring to make her happy, a small price to pay. Years from now, the ring will become even more important because it will be something tangible that marked a milestone in their lives together. If they stay together for 50 years and then he drops dead...then even more important.

Unless of course you are like my wife, who goes swimming in the ocean and then loses it.
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 137
Who is right?
Posted: 2/3/2012 7:52:49 AM
I didn't want an engagement ring when I got engaged. We opted for gold wedding bands instead. If I were to get engaged again, and that is a big IF, I still wouldn't want a ring. I'd rather have a new bicycle and a trip together somewhere neat to try it out.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 138
Who is right?
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:27:19 AM
The question for most of the people here is what do you do with it when the marriage fails. The ring symbolizes failure at that point.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 139
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Who is right?
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:37:10 AM
Easy solution. Since the engagement ring means soooooooo much to her as a symbol of commitment,she should pony up and get him an equally expensive watch to represent the time they are going to spend together.

problem solved
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 140
Who is right?
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:48:41 AM
She is. Not because of the ring or the cost, but because he is disregarding her feelings about it. What other things will he ignore once she does marry him? Big warning sign there.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 141
Who is right?
Posted: 2/5/2012 12:52:25 PM
He should get her the engagment ring. It means a lot to her. He can buy her an inexpensive ring that is within his budget. When I was 21, I received a engagement ring, we didn't have much money, he paid $100 for it, & I was thrilled to get it.
Is it also his intent not to give her a wedding ring? Or is just the engagement ring?
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 142
Who is right?
Posted: 2/6/2012 6:55:56 PM

He should get her the engagment ring. It means a lot to her.


She should give him a blow job. I'm SURE it means a lot to him.



He can buy her an inexpensive ring that is within his budget. When I was 21, I received a engagement ring, we didn't have much money, he paid $100 for it, & I was thrilled to get it.


The last guy I know who did this, got called a "Cheap-ass", and his gf broke it off because "an engagement ring of this size/value is an insult (to her)".
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 143
Who is right?
Posted: 2/6/2012 8:10:27 PM
The woman is supposed to get a ring. In return the gentleman is supposed to get one of the following: a big screen tv, season tickets to the sporting team of his choice, a fishing boat, a harley, a golf club membership, ....

I think you get the idea.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 144
Who is right?
Posted: 2/7/2012 9:55:14 AM
The last guy I know who did this, got called a "Cheap-ass", and his gf broke it off because "an engagement ring of this size/value is an insult (to her)".


LMAO MAYBE that's all she was worth, actually
Well, you know her more than I do, so you can mke your mind
She should give him a blow job. I'm SURE it means a lot to him.


Man oh man, a girl does that with me? Christ, 1 ring EVERY week !!!! ;-)


 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 145
Who is right?
Posted: 2/7/2012 12:12:58 PM

I have heard the above before.
so untrue.
just because she wants a ring does NOT mean she is marrying for a status symbol.
it doesnt mean she doesnt love him. most woman want engagement rings, they are pretty, some are gorgeous, and as far as the man goes....everyone now knows that she is taken and devoted to someone. he should het her the ring . if he is low on funds she must know that and accept a smaller ring.


I see it very differently.

If SHE wants a ring, SHE should go buy one! She should make the payments...as it is HER desire! Why should a man be on the hook for a ring he wont wear...when nowadays he wont get the part of this old tradition he would have gotten way back in the day? I still have not seen any post about what he is going to get to replace the dowry. Why do women want all the traditions that only benefit them is the real question.

THINGS dont matter. If she loves him, and he persishes...you can bet she will be more upset that he is dead then whether or not he bought her a ring...and yet, while living and breathing, she is focussing on a THING.
 cusechick26
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 146
Who is right?
Posted: 2/7/2012 5:43:13 PM
A promise ring is much cheaper and still means the same as an engagement ring. Your still promising to spend the rest of your lives together. They should both be happy and enjoy planning the wedding the money saved on ring can go towards the price of something else. Think of necessity.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 147
Who is right?
Posted: 2/7/2012 6:42:29 PM
"Unless of course you are like my wife, who goes swimming in the ocean and then loses it."

Got you beat! I bought mine one of those forever bands on our tenth anniversary. You know diamonds all around the band. Took her to Hawaii to celebrate, she told me 2 days after we landed, that her finger swelled up, so she took it off and put it in the seat back pouch in front of her and forgot it!!

I guess it meant that much to her!
 SpittyKitty
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 148
Who is right?
Posted: 2/7/2012 10:16:00 PM
Well, unfortunately the stubborness has now made it a bad deal no matter what happens!
If she doesn't get it she's resentful.
If he gives it he's resentful.
If she gets it her enjoyment is tainted because he's resentful.

It's a no win situation!

Could be an unrealized hidden wish to NOT get married. Maybe make an issue and use it as fodder to fail.

Warning Signals
 A_Gent
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 149
Who is right?
Posted: 2/8/2012 3:21:27 PM
Diamonds are forever...

... marriages...

... 50/50.

Get something tasteful but reasonably priced.

If that's not good enough for her, she is more into her agenda and marrying a wallet, than the person she is marrying.

What THEY save on not overspending can go towards a down payment on their house, or pay off their honeymoon.
 xenolith23
Joined: 12/26/2010
Msg: 150
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History
Who is right?
Posted: 2/8/2012 6:33:17 PM
She definitely should not marry this man. Many studies have shown there is a strong correlation between financial and emotional 'stinginess'. Once they are married, he won't just withhold rings from her; he will withold warmth and affection and sex. And if irrational stinginess is not the issue, then it's about control and dominance, as other posters have noted. Or, as another poster noted: if he really wanted to get married to her, he would have given her the ring. He may not truly want to get married. The 'best' case is that he's a stubborn, immature person who isn't very emotionally intelligent and is rigid in his views. None of these possibilities are good, at all. This is very serious and if she isn't ready to break up with him, she should insist they go to premarital counseling. If he won't go, for whatever reason--end it immediately.
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