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Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 26
stuck on one guy/date Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

Well said OldBill, it is not a comfortable one this!

If it lasted 3 weeks and is not going anywhere, just move forwards> Best of luck

Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 27
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/3/2012 10:23:06 PM

Where did she say she was looking for a house

Why was it important to mention an asset in the prospect of being hung up on a guy she liked? She either liked him or not or did she like him because he had a house?

Up until that point I had sympathy, compassion for the circumstance she is in. He was ignoring her for a reason. Because he didn't want to confront the situation or what he was thinking he's retreated to his cave. Only he can answer this and he chooses not too.

And is there a law against dating someone else when he failed to contact her?

A law no a decent person who was into someone else wouldn't engage in even thinking of dating someone else and you wonder why women get called players as men do.

Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 28
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stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/3/2012 11:18:35 PM
If he suffers from depression which the prozac suggests wouldnt his behaviour be a bit up and down anyway. If he left the medication out accidentally maybe he's a bit embarrassed that you saw it or maybe as bill suggests he thinks you being bi polar could end in a train wreck.

Op you really need to talk to him its the only way you will ever know for sure, if he wont then I'd leave it. Best of luck.
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 29
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 2:42:39 AM
The bit that got me was taking her to a funeral in only 3 weeks of dating, is it just me or is that a bit odd after such a short time?!

Sounds to me like the guy has some demons but also he's probably been single so long has got used to the single life doing what he wants when he wants etc, after 9 years that isnt really a surprise, anyone being single that long will probably find it difficult if someone gets too close too quickly.
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 30
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 2:51:38 AM
Why does the alarm bell ring about the long of spell of bachelorhood?
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 31
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 4:46:10 AM
Just to let everyone know .....the ones who think im a gold digger .

Ive my own house and car and good job at football club which is a big club .

So know i didnt see pound signs , i saw someone strong who lives alone like i do .Everyguy ive dated lives at home with their mothers or flat mates.That was i mentioned the house and job as for me it was good sign .
And i didnt run out on another date the guy hadnt replied to me for over 2 weeks not spoken to him since whole prozac issue .

Im saying that i compare him to other dates all the time and seemto be stuck on him .

Thanksfor everyones advice-some better than others thankyou
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 32
view profile
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 4:50:22 AM
I didn't think there were any Big Football clubs in the Midlands?
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 33
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 4:52:32 AM

I didn't think there were any Big Football clubs in the Midlands?

............With a shop.
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 34
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 4:53:10 AM
Thanks pauline2012 -no i didnt mention i wanted move in , esp as ive my own 2bed house lol .

Oldbill- its a forum im asking if anyone else had this problem.It isnt a self pity thread its simply sharing my experiances and asking for advice .
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 35
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 4:56:00 AM
I know the funeral thing was madness .Best of it was he didnt ask me to go , we justmet up that day and he said....were going to my brother's missus mothers funeral.I was a bit miffed to say the least.
And hewasnt on prozac for a funeral lol .

My bipolar is under wraps its not bad anyway doesnt stop me doing anything not one thing .x
Joined: 9/14/2011
Msg: 36
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 5:04:11 AM

I didn't think there were any Big Football clubs in the Midlands?

............With a shop.

She may work in the shop selling football stuff linked to the teams ,, Its not unheard of , i used to work in a shop in a rugby ground where they sold souveners and pictures of the players , T shirts and other stuff ....
Joined: 11/28/2011
Msg: 37
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 5:58:41 AM
Wait, here's a strange concept. People might commute to work

As for women being players because someone is dating a guy while not being over someone else, it doesn't matter to me whether people view the OP as a player and make assumptions on me or any other female based on that. The only thing that would concern me directly was if someone referred to me as a player (as if) and I felt that was a wrong label. Then I would deal with it.

Hop on over to the USA forum. People there date 3/4 at a time and then go exclusive with someone. It might be a strange concept to us, but things aren't set in stone. Lots of people have rebound relationships/dates/shags (just talking in general here). Doesn't necessarily make them a player. We don't always have 1 person out of our system when we start dating another even if a significant time has passed and I think if we all did wait until we felt on an even keel after breaking up with someone else, lots of people would never date at all.

Of course the man in this scenario is the only person who can answer her questions but he isn't is he? I also think we can make WAY too many judgements on someone who is taking an anti depressant and for whatever reason. A friend of mine is on Prozac due to depression suffered after losing her mum. If it's the right medication for someone and they don't have side effects anyone on this type of medication shouldn't have depressive symptoms as the medication will balance out their depression. Bipolar can also be controlled quite easily again with the right medication.
Joined: 5/22/2011
Msg: 38
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:07:59 AM

Lots of people have rebound relationships/dates/shags
MMMMmmmmm rebound shags :)
Joined: 4/21/2008
Msg: 39
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:20:20 AM

Oldbill- its a forum im asking if anyone else had this problem.It isnt a self pity thread its simply sharing my experiances and asking for advice .

Hold on. I don't think I said it was a self pity thread in what I said. In fact I thought it was a very personal situation that might not be a proper subject for a forum such as this.

But given that you had posted it, then you are right "its a forum" and you must expect contributions even if they are not what you want to see, or perhaps even hurtful in some ways.

That is what I meant by "not being sure it should be on here" because it might require someone to post an opinion that is personal to you in a sad situation.
Joined: 1/5/2011
Msg: 40
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:26:27 AM

Blokes aren't supposed to be judged on what they "have to offer" financially that's something from the dark ages, If i ever got the feeling a girl thought i was a good financial prospect i'd knock it on the head.

Amen to that. Girls who use men for money are every bit as bad as men who use women for sex.

So, what are we supposed to use men for then???

Joined: 1/5/2011
Msg: 41
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:38:30 AM
I understood the OP (correct me if I'm wrong OP please), she is asking if falling in love with a stranger she has only known for 3 weeks is possible...well I'd say yes, it is possible and yes it will be extremely difficult to get over him.

OP, I'm sorry it hasn't worked out for you but you need to move on, I think the guy is not a player but he has issues. Someone on Prozac has problems and he needs to deal with them or he needs to be open about them...he should have told you about the Prozac!!!

IMO I don't think this guy knows what he wants and he is looking to see if a relationship can fix his problems. Never going to work.
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 42
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/4/2012 9:40:11 AM
So am gonna speak what she says about " guys who lives with flat mates or with their mothers". Guys who are living with flatmates aren't LOSERS, you might don't know the genuine reason why they still living with.

Sometimes guys are still living with flatmates because they are SAVING hard as they can,why? Because they have some future plans to get new car,house or just to upgrade their career,maybe saving to some kind of pos-graduation-degree,so on!

I can speak for myself...used to live with flatmates about 2 years ago,because was saving harder,as much as could to buy shares in the company that been working for.

Thanks for my flatmates that now just took over the company that been working for. Today can afford to live on my own,no I haven't got a 3 bedroom house but got my own place,thanks for the savings when used to live with flatmates!

Nowadays to live on your own,you must have some savings or spare money,because depends that the area or city that you living in,the council tax,water,power,energy,gas,TV license are TOO HIGH.

Then that makes impossible to some peoples manage all those bills every,each month.I can understand why still some women and men are living with flatmates,they have to share all bills and try to save money harder as they can to make future plans come true.

So about guys who are living with their mothers,can be a lot of reason,but read that on some thread here that some guys have to...because the mother is ill or in need of care,support and the mother usually don't have anyone to help unless her son.

Break Dance Forever!!
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 43
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/5/2012 11:27:28 AM
he must have issues in his life or be low otherwise he wouldn't be taking the tablets and thought it might be too much too cope with his lows as well as your highs lows from bi polor, also they can make you have a low sex drive for some people, so there's your answer he was looking for a strong person to lean on , (don't take this the wrong way )
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 44
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/5/2012 4:01:26 PM
yea understand malibu17 thankyou .

For the out spoken guy who was first poster after me ...yes we do have shops at football clubs silly.I work for Aston villa fc and yes it's a big club dude .
We've 3 shops infact.
one in the ground one in birmigham city centre and one in the holte end in a popular end of the sfootbal club seating which is holte end football pitch ).

I put dowm my title as shopassiant cuz i assiant manager in the avfc shop in birmigham city centre .It was easier say shop assaint.

My bipolar proberly shit him up lol oh well im moving on now .Just wonderdif anyone else had this happen or something similar .

Sorry (odbill) thought you thought this was pity thread so apologise mate .Its just a few are ignorant on here and dont read the issue properly or seemto believe ima some gold digger my family are well off and ive my own house so im far from a gold digger .

Thnakyou everyone for replying apperciate it thankyou
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 45
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stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/5/2012 4:35:06 PM
Sounds like he's just lost interest. No point trying to figure out why or blaming yourself at all. If he can't accept you as you are, then he's not the right guy however attached you feel. I think if you don't understand what happened then it hard to to come to terms with someone opting out, but if you look back you will almost certainly see ways in which you and he weren't compatible that you were overlooking at the time.
Joined: 4/29/2010
Msg: 46
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/5/2012 5:29:06 PM
If your a young woman and thinking rationally about meeting a partner then security and prospects would make good common sense and not because your a 'gold digger' but hopefully your thinking about children and being a family and that is easier with a secure footing.
That doesn't mean that the person you meet and settle down will have those things but it has to be the hope surely and seen as a good thing if they do.
Your stuck on him and unable to move on because you haven't had closure, as far as you were concerned everything was great and yet he ends it and you don't know why?
Your convinced your well suited and can see a future for you both and not willing to move on from that, accept that it is over or give it one more concerted effort or get your closure but staying in limbo isn't an option.
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 47
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/6/2012 5:17:05 AM
ThanK you to last few posters ,your all so right allofyou.
I didnt get closure from him so yes i feel cheated somehow.If he'd just told me he wasnt ready for a realationship i would of excepted that and moved on .But that didnt happen hejust stopped texting me .One day he was hot the next below freezing i couldnt work it out .I still cant work it out .But ive started to get over it now , just wanted to see what others thought of it .Thats why im here and thankyou again everyone who posted helped me alot.

Just wanted to say to one guy who thought i was disrespecting males who live at home or flat share.
What i ment was most guys live at homestill .Im29 and i like older men the guy in question was 38 .So i like older sguys and most older guys even an ex of 42yrs old lived at home.So when my date had his own house it was like a breath of freshair as every guy i ever dated never lived alone ina flat or house .My last date after my ex lived with friends and i realise its cheaper etc but point still remains that the ex had his own house and so do i so it felt great .We had 2 houses to go to .Rather than just my house cuz guys live at home etc.
NOT having a pop at guys at home/flat share just mean aguy having his own space is great and a good thing to have .
sorry if offened you x
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 48
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stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:34:30 PM
OP the last night you spent with him there must have been something else that he saw and or felt that you seem not to be aware of...

If he wanted to spend all that time with you for 3 weeks and then nothing there was a reason...
It doesnt really matter what the reason was, you may never get to know what it was, maybe it was when you told him you are bi polar, maybe it was when you saw and didnt mention about the prozac... who knows, you need to forget it and move on because I would bet he has.
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 49
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/7/2012 12:22:31 AM
Forget him , any nutter that springs a funeral on a date especially a family one isn't right in the head , just because someone has a house and half decent job don't mean they are normal just lucky lol .
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 50
stuck on one guy/date
Posted: 1/7/2012 7:21:09 AM
It's a shame many women only look at how much cash a man's got, this is why men go over the top flashing their cars etc. I just got back from The Gambia a few weeks ago and it's one of the poorest countries in the world. Despite this, they are much friendlier and hospitable than most people in the UK and I find it quite embarrassing. We need to learn that being rich and owning nice cars and houses never guarantees happiness. You only have to look at so called celebrities to see that. The only way you can be happy and rich is if you had already been happy and poor.
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