|Ex-girlfriend partyingPage 2 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)|
|What should you do?|
First of all, she doesn't love you. Secondly she is deliberatly hurting you.
Why are you worried? She's not your responsibility.
You have two options.
Keep being a doormat and take her taunting by keeping in touch or grow a spine and block her from contacting and move on with your life.
Posted: 1/6/2012 3:54:54 AM
|I don't know what her objective is, but she's baiting you for a reaction.|
I don't know if she doing it send a message that she's getting on with her life, or if she's doing it to cause you pain or if she's doing it to show she's over it and you need to be too.
Regardless of the reasons - here are the facts. Something caused you to split. You are no longer a couple. Each of you has to go through a healing process in order to move on emotionally.
Some people do that by getting out there and partying and pretending they are fine, and they keep doing that until their feelings match their emotions. Other people do it by letting the emotions they feel run their course, the anger, the sadness, the hurt, and then they gradually start socializing again, initially with close and trusted friends.
Bottom line is what she is doing is hurting you. She only has the power to do that for as long as you give her that power. So take it away. Block her telephone number and e-mail. You neither have to or need to listen to her escapades.
Posted: 1/6/2012 5:32:11 AM
|Sorry your feeling sad............but suffice to say, being as this is all still very fresh (as in having happened just weeks ago) you really should consider(for your own well being) cutting off all contact with her. We can't know why she is still contacting you bragging about her escapades, but for her to do that is cruel. Why you'd want to keep putting yourself through that is beyond me. |
Get involved with a new hobby, join a gym, go out with friends..........but more importantly cut off all contact with her............
Posted: 1/6/2012 5:38:36 AM
|Stop crying...Man up and grow some balls...file a police report for harassment...what she is doing is mean spirited and cruel|
Posted: 1/6/2012 6:18:20 AM
|Damn dude that's rough. It seems she doesn't know how to conduct herself when she's been drinking. Clearly not a HFA as her understanding of social courtesy breaks down as she becomes increasingly intoxicated. |
It seems she is trying to make you jealous, but it could be because she trusts you and despite how rude that shit is, still feels responsible for what she's doing. But if you text her back and shit she might just be playing with you.
My plan would be to just ignore the texts and not respond at all...which you may be doing anyway. Keep a stiff upper-lip man. I understand how you feel and empathize with you.
Posted: 1/6/2012 6:41:57 AM
|What she is doing to you is just mean. You are 31 years old for gods sake grow a set and block this loser. |
Unless she was an immature pre-teen then there is hardly an excuse for this level of cruelty, she is intentionally messing with your head and trying to cause you pain. Normal adults do not behave this way and publicize their drunken antics to an Ex.
You have to break all contact if you are ever going to heal.
Posted: 1/6/2012 7:08:56 AM
|What she is doing is mean, but you can't control what other people do, you can only control what YOU do. She's texting you because she knows that she can get under your skin (as she's obviously done) and these guys that are buying her drinks, grinding with her, and likely more would just tell her to f 0ff if she tried to make them jealous by telling them her every little escapade because she doesn't mean anything to them. |
The only way to get through this is to take away the power she has over you by having nothing to do with her and deleting any texts she sends before reading them and delete anything she HAS sent.
Posted: 1/6/2012 7:41:19 AM
|I feel bad for you too but don't you have friends you can talk to about this? It's a little weird coming on here and dumping all this on strangers....Not sure what you want us to say except "Awww we feel bad for you, she's a total biatch" |
Is that what you want to hear??
Sounds like she is not a nice person....Text her and say "If you ever cared for me please stop texting these things and leave me alone (or give me space)"
Give yourself a few days to wallow then stop it. It's counter productive and a TOTAL waste of your time
Posted: 1/6/2012 7:53:47 AM
She goes to me she was picked up by a guy, I was like already??
My reply to that would have been...
"Well, give it 3 months, get some STD testing done, get your s*it together and call me in 6 months if you're clean... If I'm single at that point, which I doubt, maybe we'll talk... Until then, Hasta La Vista, Baby...."
Posted: 1/6/2012 7:59:34 AM
|You're wasting valuable emotional energy on this one. You should be using it to clean up your life and move forward without this chick.|
What she's doing is wrong and nasty and what not, but what you're doing is damaging yourself for no reason.
Ignore her and give it time. You'll get over her eventually.
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:50:08 AM
|I agree with Igor that in a twisted way she's doing you a favor, OP.|
I often wish - perhaps I should be careful what I wish for? - that my own ex had done the same thing, instead of remaining so honorable and sexy and tauntingly close to hinting of a reconciliation.
It seems to me you're overlooking a great opportunity to use her behavior as a springboard toward a cleansing anger that removes her forever as a prospect from your mind.
Your situation reminds me of that song "Found Out About You." The part "Did you love me only in my head"? seems especially apropos.
"Found Out About You"
All last summer in case you don't recall
I was yours and you were mine forget it all
Is there a line that I could write
Sad enough to make you cry
All the lines you wrote to me were lies
The months roll past the love that you struck dead
Did you love me only in my head?
Things you said and did to me
Seemed to come so easily
The love I thought I'd won you give for free
You know it's all I think about
I write your name drive past your house
Your boyfriend's over I watch your light go out
Whispers at the bus stop
I heard about nights out in the school yard
I found out about you
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:53:50 AM
|Someone who does this to you doesn't care about you. Honestly you are better off without such a person.|
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:28:16 AM
P.S. Never get upset when you see your ex with someone new, because your parents taught you to give your used toys to the less fortunate
Thank you very efffffinn much!
I now have beer coming out my nostrils and on my monitor...
On the bright side, I have a great new funny line to use on other people when they are taking a mouthful of beer too.....
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:37:22 AM
Never get upset when you see your ex with someone new,
Over the years, I learned to drop contact with an Ex and not keep them around as friends...
But I do hear once in a while through to social grapevine how they're doing....
One recent Ex, who a few years back dumped me for a "great guy" is now single again... Apparently they split up after she found out he hada few problems in his head and he chased her around their kitchen with a knife....
Another is dating a guy who has a profile on virtually every dating site there is....including POF and apparently she doesn't know...
A few others ended up in failed relationships that basically screwed up their lives....
Sometimes in life, it's good to look back and laugh at your Ex's....
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:37:40 AM
|Time to man up and think with your large brain and not your heart.........what would you tell your best friend to do in this situation?|
She wants to stick the knife in you and twist it, and this is what you thought you wanted your entire life? Anyone that cares at all for another, and it is not working, will try as hard as they can NOT to make it worse for them, and will avoid all confrontation until time has had its chance to heal them and you.
So, time to get busy with work and life, make plans with friends, block her numbers and email, facebook, etc., and take each and every day as a new beginning for YOU. Feeling sorry for yourself and crying like a baby is just so high school, and now is the time to show that you really do have some balls, by acting like a man, and sucking it up as you move on!!
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:44:14 AM
|What should you do? COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!! |
Yeah it hurts, but you are soooo lucky that she left. It gives you an opportunity to find a good woman.
Posted: 1/6/2012 10:08:09 AM
|My ex did much the same thing. He told me he loved me but couldn't be with me because he was going through too many personal issues and needed time to himself. The second I left his house, he reactivated all of his personal accounts and was chatting with girls. Because I had foolishly said I wanted to stay friends (because I did love him) he told me everything he was doing with everyone. |
I spent a year with him doing this to me. It ripped away my self esteem, destroyed me as a person, and I actually considered killing myself for months. Breakups are devastating, this is worse. Cut ties and give yourself a chance to heal.
Posted: 1/6/2012 10:31:53 AM
|Really, you're setting yourself up for all of this by keeping in contact with her. She broke up with you. There are consequences to this that are evidently lost on her (and you). Tell her you no longer want anything to do with her. Then, don't talk to her. Don't see her. Don't initiate or accept any contact with her. Ignore. Delete. Block. No contact. |
Stop letting her live rent-free in your head. It's over.
Posted: 1/6/2012 11:37:22 AM
|That suck's man, im sorry to say you need to try to get over her. She obviously is playing games with you and enjoying hurting you otherwise she wouldn't have thrown it in your face like that. If she tells you she knows it would hurt you seeing her dance or kiss a guy then she turns around and tells you all about it. |
Honestly if it's over then it shouldn't matter and she shouldn't kee throwing it in your face, that is really messed up.
I know it's hard to get over someone. Trust me, up till around Thanksgiving I was dating a girl I work with(yeah I know big mistake) and I really was falling for her. There would be times she didn't respond to my texts or phone calls, but no big deal I trust someone until I have a reason not to. I am also not posessive or jealous. Then I find out she slept with three guys we both work with behind my back. Two were while we were together and one was within four days of us being broken up. Honestly that killed me inside but I didn't show her it got to me and ended it. I am still civil and nice to her at work and will only talk to her about work related things but thats as far as I go with it. I'm not gonna lie, it still hurts when I see her and it sucks but trust me it does get better, I promise!
It took me some time to get over it but I don't want to be with someone who is like that, a cheater and dishonest. Hell I found out about it from one of the guys and not her!
Posted: 1/6/2012 11:42:40 AM
|Honestly, break contack with her for a month or two to let you get over her a little then pick up a friendship after that. Besides maybe after not hearing from you for a while it might make her think twice and make her want you more.|
Hell, if she knows you will respond to her calls and texts right away or you drop everything at the drop of a hat when she wants to talk or see you thats not good and she will run with it.
Just act like you don't care. If she texts you, wait hours to respond. If she calls let it goto voicemail then hext her a few hours later and say something like I didn't hear my phone and was busy, what up? If she asks to hang out say you've got other plans maybe some other time. Don't text or call her first ever(for a while) honestly make it loook like you don't care. It will be hard for you to do trust me, but it will make her want you more!
Posted: 1/6/2012 7:13:31 PM
|Wow, she is really playing games to make you feel bad/jealous. I would ask her not to text you about other guys.. try not to read the texts if she sends them.. orrr, say that you can't text with her since you're out on a date with someone else! lol.|
Posted: 1/6/2012 7:43:19 PM
|People who can break up and turn around this easily were most likely not as in love with you as you were with them. She has an issue with intimacy and getting real close. She uses male attention as a form of validation. She keeps the contact with you to keep you around to fall back on if she decides to change her mind. Don't let it turn into a cycle of on again/off again.|