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 AUTHOR
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 29
Uncovering deceptionPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

Friend request him.

This will let him know you've seen the profile.


why would you meet him and go through
all the bullshiit of confronting and crap-

Just friend him.

Save gas, time and your breath.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 30
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/8/2012 4:37:27 PM
Have dinner and then sex. If you don't, you'll severely cut into his chances to have sex with women other than his wife.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/8/2012 5:30:01 PM
Phone numbers match...favorite team matches, dog matches.

I think you know it's the same guy, you just don't want to believe it. I get you, I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt... but I have learned that even when I have a small about of doubt eating away at me, I'm always right to be suspicious.

I bet if you sent him a friend request you'd never hear from him again - proving he is a lying, cheating scumbag :)
 jorie_2011
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 33
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/8/2012 8:04:24 PM
I totally agree with jersy girl. He will show you who he is. Everyone does, we just have to believe it when they do.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 34
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/8/2012 9:30:05 PM
Dogs and sports teams mean nothing. The phone number is odd but I'm sure you have the same issues in your area as we do up here in BC. My old number seemed to be on every collection agents list of deadbeats and I was getting calls about the same few people right up until last year. I wouldn't consider a phone number to be evidence of anything.

Then again, it is such a bizarre coincidence that you have to address it.

If the OP is going to plan an ambush on the guy in a face to face meeting, I would strongly recommend that you have a large friend nearby in case buddy turns out to be a real scumbag and reacts harshly to being found out. Just a thought.
 KatWing123
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 35
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/9/2012 9:14:25 AM
Here's the update:

Last night, I asked him point blank if he was the guy on facebook. I told him the whole story. He said that he was NOT, nor did he know the person. We chatted for a bit more before I turned in for the night. Things seemed legit.

This morning, out of sheer curiosity, I checked Mr. Married Facebook Guy's page. The thumbnail and suggestion was gone from my phone. I searched his name, and the page had disappeared. There are two troubling scenarios...I was blocked, or he set his entire profile to private...and that of his wife's as well. Either way, it wasn't good because it confirmed to me that POF guy and Mr. Married Facebook Guy were the same person. The coincidence was now just too great and the scales are tipped with sufficient proof.

I texted him to tell him that the profile was missing, and the story he came up with, is that his cousin is Mr. Married Facebook Guy and he is staying with him and his wife. He told his cousin of the facebook snafu, and he supposedly flipped out (WHY???) upset that I would try to contact him or (more importantly) his wife. I would think that if this was the likely scenario, the cousin would chuckle and tell POF Guy to invite me over so we could all have a fantastic laugh about it. Ummmm no...the reaction instead was "he seriously went ape shit on me because you were probably going to message him or his wife and then he said he would kill himself." Yes...KILL. HIMSELF.

That statement alone pretty much summed up the fact that this guy is the Married Facebook Guy. (Anyone out there still want to give him the benefit of the doubt?) I told him that I believed that he is married. I then asked him to please not do that to another girl because it really hurts to get knocked down in that manner - nor is it fair.

Nothing should surprise me at this point, but this does. I'm ashamed to admit that I shed a tear (or several) because I was too trusting, too wanting to be emotionally available, too naive to see the initial writing on the wall. I don't want to turn into one of those hard-assed ****es who has so many walls up that happiness will never been fully realized! But, I see myself getting to that point, especially with this experience.
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/9/2012 9:22:20 AM
Wow, thanks for the update! Who'd have thought it would end up in a suicide threat? Chalk it up to just another online crazy.
 AnEvilgenius
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 37
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/9/2012 9:47:31 AM
The sweetest things we've longed to hear, being softly whispered in our ear.
The sudden feeling of long lost emotions, everything said works just like a potion.
To the clouds we return once again, like home sweet home or the voice of a friend.
We know it's wrong even if true, but go through what we go through to find our you.
We escape unscared with feelings anew but alive we are so true so true..


You/your situation was the muse behind the poem.
 KatWing123
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 38
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/9/2012 9:48:07 AM

Confront him IMMEDIATELY before this ends in tears.


See my update above. This, I think, was a perfect example of me NOT wanting to trust my insticts because the guy came across as so wonderful, on paper.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 39
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/9/2012 10:20:06 AM
@ Katwing123
You are not the only woman whos been through this nor will you be the last.
ive bumped into too many mr single mr charmer via actually mr married/attached facebook guy instead.

best you found out now an all thanks to technology no telling how long the actor would have played along till he got busted..

its so funny how you directly confronted him an he denied denied but then you look agian an mysteriously his page has dissapeared an been put on lock down he had to hurry an cover his tracks along with his ridiculous story..

im sure he'll do it agian to the next woman this time he may have to come up with a better story for her though..

all i got to say is if it seems to good to be true it usually is..
an if something seems off or raises a flag proceed with caution
dont completly give up hope although now adays its hard not to
but from now on you just got to try an be not as trusting with certain people especially
people who come off as a mr nice guy or mr wonderful those are the worst types that usually have all the skeletons in thier closet..
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 40
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/9/2012 10:55:59 AM
KatWing123, nice detective work! Thanks for making this thread and keeping everyone updated too. I'm sure a few of our members will give their heads a shake after reading this.

I wonder if buddy learned his lesson?
 KatWing123
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 41
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/9/2012 11:13:46 AM

I wonder if buddy learned his lesson?


Doubtful. He's still on here. Who knows...maybe he is the cousin of this guy - but if that's the case, everything we talked about is still a lie. I just can't wrap my head around the deception - that's just not me.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 42
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/9/2012 12:12:42 PM
Damn, I was really hoping you'd get to beat him with his bloodied arm stump, too.

Lying married men looking for a little action on the side - and lying about their marital status on dating sites in order to DO it - are a dime a dozen. He's lucky it wasn't me. LOL.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 43
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/9/2012 12:36:33 PM

the guy came across as so wonderful, on paper.


Apparently, that is my problem, too.....and I don't even have a facebook page to check out.

The moral of the story is.....don't have a facebook page if everything isn't true on your profile.
(Although I am glad these losers DO have a facebook page so they can be busted)
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 45
Uncovering deception
Posted: 1/11/2012 1:50:27 PM

Did you know if you put a listed # in whitepages.com it not only tells you the address but who lives there AND ages?


That is one reason why I have always had an UNlisted phone number.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Uncovering deception
Posted: 7/21/2015 1:01:07 PM
one of our faculty at the college was dating a man who even introduced her to his mom.

Her friendgirl called to say " Guess what? your boyfriend & his fiance are on Macy's wedding gift site".

His mother knew and was covering for him!

He could also be located on Ashley Martin site

DECEPTION

An attorney, fat and not so young.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 50
Uncovering deception
Posted: 7/21/2015 2:03:32 PM
KatWing123- I read everything, so I know the outcome.
What an ass.
You mentioned wanting to be more careful, but not wanting to be an 'itch.
I used to HATE being called that.
Now, I know myself and it doesn't bother me.
You can be careful without being an 'itch, but sometimes being an 'itch is called for, even necessary.
I am (around)70% nice, 20% neutral, and 10% 'itch. :D
Given that "nice" is dominant, you can bet if the 'itch comes out, they asked for it.
Nice isn't synonymous with door mat, so PLEASE don't be afraid of the 'itch label.
Usually, it's a man (well, more accurately, male) that calls me that. More often than not, ironically, the label is more fitting for THEM.
Really, the only thing I question is letting this hurt your feelings, that's where embracing the 'itch part of you comes in REALLY handy. ;)
Seriously though, don't let this get you down or question yourself.
Just know what you want and TAKE YOUR TIME finding it.
I truly hope things go better next time. :)
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 51
Uncovering deception
Posted: 7/21/2015 9:29:02 PM
Google plus will come up like that too in your circles of suggestions. I've seen duplicate people.
 Quirt_Manly
Joined: 3/19/2015
Msg: 52
Uncovering deception
Posted: 7/22/2015 3:30:34 AM
OP, you may not realize it yet , but this guy did you a favour. It always takes a betrayal to grow out of our naivete and innocence. It's a horrible thing that happened to you and hope it has 't made you cynical and too bitter about men - ok to be that way with a dating site however.

These places are not for the faint of heart. Sorry you had to go through this.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 53
Uncovering deception
Posted: 7/22/2015 12:15:38 PM

But, not same physical person in the pictures that are online AND he's married, with a baby.


A guy WITH pictures who turned out to be married??

Will wonders never cease.

So, I wonder now, will everyone "assume" that all guys WITH pictures are married, the same way they "assume" all guys WITHOUT pictures are married.

Probably not.

Signed, a guy without pictures who is NOT married.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 54
view profile
History
Uncovering deception
Posted: 7/23/2015 9:03:08 AM
I recently received a message from a guy with no photos. Claimed he had trouble uploading on here. Told me to go look for him on Facebook. I tried that, but his name was too common, and not knowing what he looked like it seemed a waste of time. But then I remembered Google will point to Facebook pages so I tried that, put in his name and city.
BOOM, Google gave me his sex offender registry page.
Then he got mad at me because I stopped corresponding with him. Forgot to preemptively block.
OLD, so much fun, so much wasted time...
 Whistle_Stop
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 55
Uncovering deception
Posted: 7/23/2015 9:58:17 AM
@Strawberry...Love the new pics..you look awesome.
I'm curious, did you mention to him that his sex offender page...showed up?
I would have.....
Yes....The block button can be a good thing...smile.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Uncovering deception
Posted: 7/23/2015 6:33:49 PM
Thank you.

No, I didn't tell him, not my job.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 57
view profile
History
Uncovering deception
Posted: 7/23/2015 8:49:49 PM

I asked him his last name, and it is different from the fb guy, and he isn't backing down from meeting me - which I would think he would, if he was married.

So there was a discrepancy. I'm sure there was something shady about it, yes, but...

Last night, I asked him point blank if he was the guy on facebook. I told him the whole story. He said that he was NOT, nor did he know the person.

Not knowing the person VS...

the story he came up with, is that his cousin is Mr. Married Facebook Guy and he is staying with him and his wife

Is the real red flag. Assuming of course you told him that different last name or he saw the FB profile and said he didn't know the guy -- AND THEN confessed it was his cousin. TECHNICALLY he could be a non-cheater but lying in a different way: Living with his cousin's family looking like a loser -- and wanting to be like "I dunno that guy!" to avoid having to get into living with him, etc. BUT you were in no position to believe that anyway once this ball started rolling.

The thumbnail and suggestion was gone from my phone.

To be fair, that happens. Friend requests won't go away, but suggestions (that have the thumbnail alongside it) can.

I searched his name, and the page had disappeared. There are two troubling scenarios...I was blocked, or he set his entire profile to private

... or he took himself off searching in the first place. But since he was no longer in the suggested list, you had to search -- which you wouldn't have been able to do in the first place. That's happened to be me before (in a non-dating scenario).

He told his cousin of the facebook snafu, and he supposedly flipped out (WHY???) upset that I would try to contact him or (more importantly) his wife.

Well, TECHNICALLY, if you were really upset going off on him, and this guy let his cousin & wife know -- I could see them being REALLY over-reactive about letting their loser cousin move in, and then meeting chicks off the Internet, seeing girls off the Internet as crazies and thinking "She's flipping out upset? We don't want any part of her! Stop talking to her! She's looking US up online? Jesus!"

"he seriously went ape shit on me because you were probably going to message him or his wife and then he said he would kill himself." Yes...KILL. HIMSELF.

Again, over-reaction about loser cousin bunking with them doing sh!t they feared -- while some Inet lady he's never met is looking them up online (in their minds). The cousin says wacky stuff like he'd kill himself if he had to actually deal with some crazy inet lady -- not in a suicidal way, but in a slang way.

That statement alone pretty much summed up the fact that this guy is the Married Facebook Guy. (Anyone out there still want to give him the benefit of the doubt?)

I'm not giving him the benefit of the doubt -- it definitely goes the other way. However, certain factors could come into play into the story that could have made it Possible he wasn't married and that he was a loser living with his cousin & wife, digging himself a hole by trying to cover THAT up + bad situation with him and his cousin living with. Not so likely it's that & he's not married -- but possibly possible. :)
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 58
Uncovering deception
Posted: 7/23/2015 8:56:57 PM
I agree Strawberry.
You look fabulous in your new pictures.
That dark red top really suits you.
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