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 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 67
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?Page 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
It has been my experience that male alpha and female alpha mates peacefully coexist because they respect the others independence, and have no reason to fight.

Is it the betas that fight because they aren't unsure of the their place in a relationship?

OP, are you passive on any issues?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 68
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/13/2012 6:39:38 AM
"now alpha's still exist, they are just becoming less and less common in men, and are becoming more and more common in women. it is because of this that male betas like me thrive in todays dating scene while partially-beta females such as the OP become frustrated."

True Alpha females have no interest in betas. Alpha females want their equal as a mate, because they know they would be bored senseless by a beta.

Part of being a true Alpha is knowing that you are an Alpha and , and being aloof to betas (attractive or not) because of the snore factor.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 69
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/13/2012 7:05:35 AM
"In my opinion, a ``true alpha" wouldn't give a shit about being labeled and wouldn't have wasted enough time thinking about it to have an opinion on him/herself."

I agree with that. I bring it up for decision because I find that many people don't get and miss use the word Alpha.

"Let me give you another perspective on that. I don't want to waste my time discussing something I don't give a rats ass about. If I don't care where we go eat, it's not because I'm being passive. It's because I don't care and if I get nagged into caring, then it also won't be a discussion. I'm going to decide on the first place that pops into my head just to end the discussion and that will be that. If it matters to you, then make a decision. When I constantly get asked to make decisions about things I really don't care about, I just start to think the person is helpless."

The above imo is an example of Alpha behaviour, and isn't in the slightest bit passive.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 70
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/13/2012 7:43:07 PM
seriously, I don't think it's so much passivity as it is a varying level of codependency.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 71
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/14/2012 1:29:00 PM

Those kinds of discussions usually go something like this:

Her: Where do you want to eat?
Me: I don't care. Wherever you want to go is fine.
Her: No, you decide.
Me: OK. Let's go to _________.
Her: No, I really don't feel like going there tonight.
Me: Then why did you ask me?

First I'm being asked to make a decion for something I don't care about (and apparently, considered passive because I really don't care). Then, when I make a decision, I apparently picked the wrong place. I make decisions about what's important to me and I expect my partner to make decisions about what's important to her. If I don't care and she does, then wanting me to decide for her says more about her than it does about me. If we do something , what matters to me is generally not what we're doing but that we're doing it together.



In my opinion, a ``true alpha" wouldn't give a shit about being labeled and wouldn't have wasted enough time thinking about it to have an opinion on him/herself.




Agreed man; waaayyy too much over analyzing adn batting stuff around that really should go down as no brainers, and easy decisions.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 72
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/14/2012 3:40:48 PM

Well get this OP: In one of my previous relationship something as trivial as me choosing an ice-chilled bottle of Lipton Lemon tea on a hot sunny day was cancelled by him deeming that "drinking tea dehydrates you even more" ...... he KNEW how much I loved tea .. nevertheless he DEMANDED that I switch the ice tea to a Gatorade which would "replenish" my water level ... ... (well it just so happens that I HATE gatorade!!) ....... I debated with him for a few seconds, told him I hated gatorade ... he would not budge ... Well, not wanting to make a huge ass deal out of one simple choice of drink -- I voided the damned bottle of tea and chose a bottle of plain drinking water instead.

Boy oh boy, how I wish you would meet someone like my ex ...


ROFLMBO...that cracks me up....for two reasons. #1) that's probably something I would have done years ago. #2) Now?..I realize just how ridiculous it would be to do that. It's your choice, not his. It has nothing to do with him at all. Not only that, he is incorrect. Iced Tea does not make you dehydrate. And, to top it off regular gatorade has a fair amount of sugar in it which isn't the best choice in a lot of instances. The only good thing about gatorade is electrolytes which can be found in other drinks.
 CapnRHHNY
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 73
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/14/2012 8:38:34 PM
Suggestion...take a look at who you date. Hate to say it, but real men are good men and are not afraid to express themselves. Passive men are nice guys looking to keep the drama to a minimum and looking for some nooky.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 74
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:46:30 PM
Yes, the people you choose to date often is a reflection of yourself.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 75
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 1/15/2012 10:00:22 PM
Yes, the people you choose to date often is a reflection of yourself


Whew; thank God.

The two ladies who I am still *cough* "somewhat" dating are both stellar ladies in different ways from each other. Both, however, are very social and with a strong group of friends.



Both are, also, probably better than me; but hey. Lets not tell "them" that



 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 76
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/1/2012 8:33:56 AM
Nowadays dinner and a movie is expecting too much - even when the woman is providing them. We have to reimburse them for the gas it took to drive to our place. A woman these days should just be honored to be in the presence of a man who may consider her to be worthy of a relationship with him.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 77
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/1/2012 9:36:56 AM
A woman these days should just be honored to be in the presence of a man who may consider her to be worthy of a relationship with him


Why not right?

Women have been saying that, in the reverse, for generations. The difference is that, back then, a man should just be happy to have the opportunity to PAY for a woman to be in his presence.



Maybe equality "is" coming along
 destructodave
Joined: 4/18/2009
Msg: 78
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:53:21 PM
90% of the stuff women want to argue over, isnt worth argueing over.

We learn to pick and choose our battles. Sleeping on the couch because we couldnt decide on a restaurant or the toilet seat was left up is not the type of arguement we want to get into.

So all that petty stuff, is petty stuff not worth fighting over.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 80
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:48:10 PM

Nowadays dinner and a movie is expecting too much - even when the woman is providing them. We have to reimburse them for the gas it took to drive to our place. A woman these days should just be honored to be in the presence of a man who may consider her to be worthy of a relationship with him.


Sounds like you're stretching things a little.How old was he?
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 83
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/3/2012 11:23:18 AM

Alpha males can be passive when they don't care to invest time or energy. I suspect the same applies to beta.


This is all Greek to me. Does it come from a book someone wrote, a TV nature show, or what? I don't know how human beings, with all their complexities, can be put into such simple categories and still have the categories mean much. People aren't the same as wolves or dingos.

I've noticed that people I've run into who were preoccupied with who's in control of what, and when, and how, were hard to get along with. I don't want to waste my time with someone who always seems to be either at my throat, or at my feet.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 84
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/3/2012 6:38:21 PM
@Capn_america - assault or insults are neither acceptable from men OR women. Why do we always seem to bring up one extreme or another when it comes to the sexes? Yes - if a man ever raised his hand to me he would be sitting in jail. I would certainly expect to find myself in the same place if I ever hit someone.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 85
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/3/2012 8:00:26 PM
The reason why men appear to be more passive is because women have become more aggressive. Nothing wrong with that from my view, but you can't put the Gene back in the bottle to return to traditional roles.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 86
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/3/2012 11:19:12 PM
Who's to say. We often find ourselves with the type of people we attract by our own behaviour. Perhaps you come across as a domineering personality who attracts more submissive types, then surprise, surprise - once you start to get to know someone you change gears and want a man to be more aggressive than is his natural bent. That you keep finding men who don't have an opinion or a preference may have more to do with you than you realize.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 88
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/4/2012 10:18:01 AM
YUP men are becoming more passive,
actually people are becoming, much more passive
everybody has to look out for being politically correct
I read that the average person works much harder that ever before
making much less money, and given way too much credit
I guess men, and people in general are just fatigued
 Manfromthehill
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 89
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/4/2012 10:03:49 PM
As a type A male I have to say I find type A females so much more desirable. I have no problem taking the lead but if I ask you where you want to go eat or what do you want to do it's because relationships are a two way street. Would you really want someone making all of the decisions for you. I ask a woman because I want her to know that I care about her want's and needs too and am secure enough in my manhood that I don't need to be in charge all the time.
They say opposites attract but in this case and from personal experience that is rarely true.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 90
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/5/2012 9:24:06 AM
You seem to describe me. heh!
Well, in my last relationship, I just went along with whatever.
She confronted me with it one day and I just said I was happy with wherever we went and whatever we did. But we did come to a discussion about it because she said she really wanted input (as in deciding which restaurant to go to for example). So I said well, if she has no preference and wants me to decide, just to let me know she can't decide either way so in those cases, I am happy to decide for her.
But there are days when I do have a plan for what we should do that day and share it with her. Those times, I do plan things out and have it all laid out and ready for her to enjoy.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 91
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/6/2012 11:06:51 AM

So many guys are trying to not send them running and have everything be a disagreement/fight. It might be months/years before a guy is lucky enough to get another date so he has to know what cards to play or when to not play.


That's a strange excuse for being very passive. True, you're not going to have that much fun together if you're always fighting about something. But a man who accepts unfair treatment from a woman is proving to her why she shouldn't let herself get too attached to him. How far can she rely on him, if he's that afraid to take a stand? I doubt that a man who acts like that is very attractive to most women.

And why think that women have an advantage? It doesn't take as much effort for women, on average, to get something started. But that doesn't mean they can keep it going. They often talk about dating someone, and then just when things seemed to be going well and they were falling for him, having him pull away.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 92
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/6/2012 12:37:26 PM
I have been passive when approaching women out of fear of rejection. As far as other aspects, I am a go-getter. I can. E agressive when provoked when it comes to hostile situations. I am assertive when speaking my mind. As far as planning dates or other activities, that should be more of a team effort with the man and woman. A lot of men need to be more passive to protect themselves from themselves.
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 93
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Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/12/2012 8:17:10 PM
too deep, not deep enough, and on it goes.

we have been convinced that we deserve better than what we have.
always better, and what are we? am 'I' so 'better'?
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 94
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/13/2012 1:53:11 PM


I'd like to buy a vowel



 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 96
Just Me...Or are men becoming more Passive?
Posted: 2/13/2012 8:54:56 PM
Some women just like to argue about everything, I call them Drama Queens. If you stand up to them then they b*tch about that. If you just let them have there way cause you are tired of arguing then they think you need to grow some b*lls. As soon as i meet a woman like that i leave as soon as i can. Not looking for someone to bring drama into my life Yes its drama that some people are after. I dont like to argue and fight but i know some people thrive on it.
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