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 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 48
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Are you the dreaded rebound guy/gal?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

I had that "must have been divorced for at least a year" rule, too. So glad I bent it for my guy, who had only been divorced for two months, although separated for a year. He'd done a lot to work through his issues, and being clinically insane wasn't one of them.


Im right there with you. I entered the dating pool a little too early. I wasnt really looking for anything serious. I might have even had vague thoughts of catting around.

But then I ran into Missy, who bent her rule just a bit to try me out. We are going on almost two years now and get along better than I ever have with anybody. She gave me credit for the work I had done, was still doing and helped me out with a few suggestions. She and I are alike in that when something bad happens we like to find out WHY...so we can try to avoid it in the future.

My ex..on the other hand, was boasting to me of being in love a little more than two months after the gavel fell.
Funny how her new BF announced a year later that he had accepted a job in TX, then was gone two weeks later.
I think he definitely held the title of Rebound guy.

Me? Im working at making sure Missy gets the man she deserves...;)
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 49
Are you the dreaded rebound guy/gal?
Posted: 11/6/2013 10:01:19 AM
@LoneScottishBoy
Missy is one lucky girl, and you're one lucky guy. I've always had great respect for your thoughtful, mature, and right on advice in here. I wish you all the best!
 nyceguy85
Joined: 1/11/2013
Msg: 50
Are you the dreaded rebound guy/gal?
Posted: 11/6/2013 1:04:28 PM
I've been the rebound guy and it was great while it lasted. I only had to go on two dates with her and she was ready to get over her ex in a heartbeat. God bless her giving heart.
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 51
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History
Are you the dreaded rebound guy/gal?
Posted: 11/8/2013 7:22:00 AM

its not nice but it happens to both sexes.


I agree 100%.


@missiceni-- Thank you! You just made my day! :)
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 52
Are you the dreaded rebound guy/gal?
Posted: 11/10/2013 1:57:58 PM
Some of the people I know that have been on rebound had more than one person hanging around.
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 53
Are you the dreaded rebound guy/gal?
Posted: 11/10/2013 3:55:45 PM
Great Advice. People often try erroneously to quickly replace a lost emotional tie with an immediate new one. It never works because you have not allowed yourself to be alone and heal from your previous situation.

let the depression and sadness come and have its time. Once it washes away and you adapt to stepping out in the dating game again you will come to new people with no baggage. Avoiding baggage is a big!!!!!!

Now if you want temporary ego boost then go for a quick sexual encounter. Just be clear with that individual that you are not interested in a serious relationship and want to just have fun.

As for being the temporary/rebound for someone, you have to be very wary of someone who enters your life suddenly showing heavy love interest too soon. That person is interested in a quick ego boost and wants you up under them to assure they've still go it. Their ex made them doubt their desirability...so you are there just to rebuild their confidence.

If it is a short term thing its all good. Just let that person know you are disinterested in something serious and be cautious of your own feelings.

The worse thing you can do is be all up in someone's face emotionally when you have not gotten a clear picture of their agenda with you.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 54
Are you the dreaded rebound guy/gal?
Posted: 11/10/2013 4:08:06 PM
Argonz123- What happened to you wasn't right. I have called out more than one person on POF (male and female) for playing with people's hearts.
I've been divorced for 3 years now, I admit I wasn't ready right after my divorce, so I didn't date. My sister drove me nuts about it, my father still does.
I think the lesson to be learned here is that you have to be happy with yourself first, so you are not destroyed if things don't work out (regardless of how things end).
It's likely this woman was not being honest with you or herself.
Just don't carry this into your next relationship, not everyone is that selfish.
It is VERY important to give yourself time to heal after a break up.
She hurt you and that was wrong, but you admit you knew she was fresh out of a break up, lesson learned I hope.
I do not put my hand to the flame, I KNOW it burns.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 55
Are you the dreaded rebound guy/gal?
Posted: 11/11/2013 2:40:26 PM

I've been the rebound guy and it was great while it lasted.

It Can be a positive thing, actually. It's negative when you get your hopes up & set your expectations that you're going to ride off into the sunset together.... or the person on the rebound has those expectations and you set the tone/expectations to a more realistic level.

But when you're both on the same page, and are not wanting/expecting much more than a summer fling -- it can be great. I guess you could see it much like the classic Big Age Difference scenario. Yes, it can work and all, but they usually don't for the long haul. Have a summer fling with Miss Jones 16 years your elder, but don't expect to ride off in the sunset with her for an LTR. Knowing that early on keeps your emotions in check & comfortable, to enjoy the experience.
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