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 AUTHOR
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 24
Misleading pics CAN work.........Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

A lot of people on here like to go pig out for free food and do not care if someone is over eight or match photos.


Coffees first. I'd buy anyone a coffee once.

Liars don't get invited out to dinner.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 25
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/13/2012 5:10:35 AM

I guess I'm just not as high strung as some folks on these forums. So, they don't look exactly like a pic. Big deal!


High strung???? Again,OP, the point of it all is being lost on ya. IF the only way or tactic you or anyone has on "meeting" people is to put a 10 year old pic up,,,well,,,that would be your problem. I would have to question,,,is THAT the only thing you are offering,,,,your 10 year old pic????? And have you to ask yourself,what "type" of man you are attracting with that 10 year old pic???? No????? Well,,,,,,maybe ya and others that like to do this "type" of thing should start.
 Kings_Knight
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 26
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:46:40 AM

" ... I'm not sure it's a lie in the true sense of the word though. The pics are indeed THEM. Just older. I could post a baby pic of myself on my profile. It's ME, just not me today.

What I'm saying is, it's not a lie designed to intentionally hurt someone. It's basically just cheating to get to a meeting. ... "


Well, yes - that practice MAY quite well 'get to a meeting' ... the point, however, is what will HAPPEN at that meeting as a direct result of the fauxtofakery of the representational image. You know, 'Truth in Advertising', and all that ... ?

During my Corporate Incarnation, one of my tasks in the heady early days of 'Online Dating' involved scanning photos for people to place in their online advert. It was not at all unusual for men and women far beyond their School Days to bring in pictures of themselves in the Full Bloom of Youth when their current operational reality was that they weighed in at something just under the allowable weight limit for truck scales. They truly believed it wasn't a problem. Well, mate, it's not a problem for me, either, so long as you pay me for the scan and the disk. What your meet-up might say about the disparity is a separate bit of business.

If a person is either so (a) lazy or (b) deceitful as to be (c) unable or (d) unwilling to post a CURRENT image of oneself in their brief, then they leave much to be desired when their eventual Day of Disclosure (a/k/a 'Dies Irae') arrives as they meet-up for coffees. Oh, to be the proverbial fly on the wall at that time ...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 29
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/14/2012 6:49:41 AM


Walt, do you realize that in the grand scheme of things, a being a few pounds heavier than a pic is not that big a deal?


Poundage is not the point here. Looks are not the point here. It's the "act" that is the point here. What you are arguing/discussing is the scenario of "the ends jusitifies the means". Again,,,I could do a lot of "things" to "improve"(or should I say, "increase"???) my meetings with females. Do I do it???? No. Only because, it's the "type" of person I am.

Some people have no problem doing or accepting what you have told us. Some. Others,,,like me,,,do have a problem with it,,,and I don't accept it. Blame it on having to many experinces in the real world I guess. People are not really that hard to figure out,and once I find out about how they "get things"(whatever those "things" are) it DOES "expose" certain characteristics of that person,which "in the grand scheme of things",,,is kinda important to me. Others,,,,like you,,,,don't seem to mind. It's a personal choice,,,and with it,,,consequences.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 30
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/14/2012 8:22:00 AM
@mustard nr.43 Actually, I feel poundage is huge, Excuse the pun. Health issues are involved here. As middle aged males, most women we encounter are looking for long term live in relationships if not marriage. I'm constantly reminded of this. OK fine. Why should anyone (m/f) get involved with a person who is a potential healthcare time bomb?Speaking of misleading pix. I recently replied to a very attractive profile. Not person;profile. A very timely response followed. The poster responded with a photo of her "real" self. Not very impressive. Her message went on to describe me as a "shallow male pig" for only responding to physically attractive women. POF. Plenty Of Fraud?
 lookin4thatperson
Joined: 10/11/2010
Msg: 31
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History
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/16/2012 3:59:40 AM
yes that is true i have had that happen to me twice now!! first 1 i went on date second one i wasnt as nice to that sucks i have pic that is recent they should too.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 32
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/16/2012 8:25:43 AM
Hi elka, welcome to the forum!

I get that you and others don't see this issue as "lying" and I'm sure there are all sorts of rationalizations right down to "everyone else is doing it" but that changes absolutely nothing.

Your choice to present yourself to the world will have consequences when your date feels that they've been lied to. My weight fluctuates pretty severely from me looking fit to me having a beer belly that I give a name to...I miss "my little buddy":( If I start to gain back that weight, I'll update my profile; not because I put much value on physical traits and certainly not because I want to attract shallow women but simply due to the fact that it's important to me to be honest with people.

If my head got lopped off in an accident between the time I posted my profile pics and a first meet in person with someone who read it, I would want to make sure that I explained the change and why it wasn't updated. I would never invite a woman out and surprise her with my new headless status. That would be ridiculous.

Each time someone tries to defend these practices, I become more interested in using my webcam. How could anyone think it's a good idea to start any kind of relationship without trust?

I'm wondering if this is about people who feel so badly about themselves that they think that is the only way they could ever get a date? Sort of like playing the odds or something...if 75% just walk away, 20% get mad and cause a scene, then one in twenty might not mind and we can have our date? That can't be what people are thinking can it?
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 33
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/16/2012 9:03:09 PM
Don't get ahead of yourself there Mr. Burned. I was once told that only 20% of these profiles are truly genuine. In other most folks stretch the truth in one form or another. I have found this to be true. Most of women I have met admit to fudging a bit ie town, age,body type ( that's a biggie) . Seriously, the difference between a FL average and a MI average is amazing (both m/f). A couple of guys in my neighborhood also admit to little "white lies". Mine is 100% straight up true. Hence my low response ratio. LOL. Again POF, Plenty Of Fraud?
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 34
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/16/2012 10:44:38 PM

A person's personality is very much a part of their overall appearance. I'm still glad that my ex-hubby was able to look past some weight to find someone special. Something many of the exceedingly shallow people on this site will never have

Speaking as one of the exceedingly shallow people...I'm quite sure the 'deception' would be much harder to over look than 'weight'. I personally have no interest in someone who misrepresents themselves "intentionally"...which is exactly what this woman did. I guess your ex isn't so particular with his choices in women.


Walt, do you realize that in the grand scheme of things, a being a few pounds heavier than a pic is not that big a deal? There are a lot bigger and more important things people regularly lie about.

Say you meet a woman who is absolutely gorgeous and charming. You are instantly smitten. Then a few months down the road, you find out she's actually married or has a criminal record, or any number of unsavory things. All I'm saying is, being heavy is not a crime. And there are alot more serious things to lie about. Morally and otherwise

No, 'being heavy' is not a crime. And in the grand scheme of things, being dishonest and deceptive is....morally and otherwise.

Bottom line...misleading pics are misrepresentations. If you need to misrepresent yourself, I don't want to meet you.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/18/2012 2:04:08 PM

I post uglier pics on purpose so people will be pleasantly surprised.

i think most everyone does this, only not on purpose. it's tough to take a good photo, so uglier pics are the best that most people can do. nice part about it is, those people often look better in person. almost every women i ever met looked better than her photos.

Take a look at the profile reviews: never be negative, always be positive and perky. ... Look at all the angsty people on these forums. "Why don't people like me, blah, blah". The reviews tell them to be perky and positive. THAT'S TELLING THEM TO LIE.

fvckin spot on. profile review is a sham - nobody is in there to show people how to more authentically represent themselves. all the reviewers are saying is 'here's how to make your page reflect MY preferences and prejudices.'
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 43
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/18/2012 3:52:27 PM
. Are all of you trying say that if a woman is not the size of a pencil, that she is ugly? PULEEZE!!

I'm in school full-time. I see adorable chubby girls all the time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with them aside from having baby fat. And I'm quite sure none of them would be caught dead with half the guys ragging on this thread.


Are you not able to read and comprehend anything anyone is typing here????? We don't care if women are overweight,fat,chubby or whatever label you want to put on it. Don't care. It's the act of MISREPRESENTATION that people are disagreeing with. Nothing to do with FAT!!!!!

Again,,,

misrepresentation.

As in, a pic in my profile of me when I had goldilocks hair to my shoulders, and showing up for a coffee with what I have now one my head,,,which is very little.

Get it,,,,,yet?????
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 45
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/18/2012 6:13:17 PM

Horse, I don't think anyone is posting 10-20 year old pics. My ex is dating a gal who posted 5 year old pictures. And fyi, the woman is very attractive. I've seen pics my ex has taken of her with his phone. Are all of you trying say that if a woman is not the size of a pencil, that she is ugly? PULEEZE!!

I think the title you chose for the thread says it all mustard...I see nothing about weight in there. The subject line is very telling.
To me deception doesn't have varying degrees. If you are making an effort to decieve, whether it's about appearance, status or anything else...you are lying.

I don't care if you were the Queen of f*cking England 5 years ago.....you aren't now. Get it?
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 47
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/18/2012 6:46:39 PM
Again...I think if you have to work at it by being deceptive, it's wrong. Lying about your appearance to get a date is ultimately going to bomb on you. ...unless of course it's your ex who apparently is okay with it.
I personally am not compatible with anyone who resorts to deception in order to get their foot in the door...the door is barred shut in that case.
It's not okay...
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 48
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/19/2012 5:28:56 AM

The old pics aren't meant to harm anyone. Are you familiar with a handicap in bowling? It levels the playing field so players that aren't as good have a chance to do well and possibly win. That is what I would equate the old pics to. Giving a chick a chance to see if she is compatible with a man personality wise once they meet.


Okay then,,,at WHAT POINT do you draw the line on the little white "fibs/lies" on a profile?????? Am I okay NOT to tell people I smoke the "illegal" stuff????? Am I okay NOT to tell people I smoke the "legal" stuff????? Am I okay to tell people I don't drink my whiskey????? Am I okay to tell people to tell people I'm single, when in fact I could be just "seperated" and NOT divorced???? Or I could be just married,,,and I'm gonna be "single" sooner or later,,,in the future???? Ya know,,,so I can meet a woman so that she can see my "personality"??????

Doing what you suggest OP does SHOW "personality",,to me anyways. Again,,,you are discussing the argument of "the ends justifies the means". Do you honestly really wanna go THERE?????
 shyshy84
Joined: 10/12/2011
Msg: 51
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/19/2012 7:32:05 AM
i meet a guy on here that was 100lbs heavier than his pic and bald. i was shocked when i saw him, i don't know how old his pics was, but in his pic on line he looked like a young lars from metalica, in real life he looked like carl from aqua teen hunger force. that's a true story, he still has the same pics up on his pof.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 52
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/19/2012 10:13:41 AM

I had a cup of coffee and a pleasant conversation with him and went on with my life.


Just asking,,,at what point ,during this " pleasent" conversation,did you come to the conclusion that he was'nt just feeding a pail full of BS and telling ya a good story so that maybe, just maybe, you would go out on another date with him???? Or was it in his profile that "he doesn't lie"???????

Again,,,just askin. Maybe we can wait a couple months and ask your ex to come on here and tell us??????
 Aristotle_Amadopolis
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 53
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/19/2012 10:18:58 AM

Misleading pics CAN work.........

Absolutely shocking, misleading pictures can fool people, who would have thunk it.


What they come up with next?

I for one can only hope it is a device that helps me portion out my bread equally.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 54
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/19/2012 11:31:29 AM

I was once told that only 20% of these profiles are truly genuine.


By whom, and how do they know? Is it 20% that are 100% genuine, or only 14.9% or 23.6% genuine…etc., etc? Jeez.

OT: I don’t appreciate being “mislead”….nice comfy euphemism for being lied to. I doubt an extra 40 pounds would be the only thing “misleading” about an old pic.

Besides deceit, it screams insecurity…unappealing all the way around.

OP:

I assume most women are posting older, more flattering pics so they can get to the point of a date and talk to the guy.


Really, speak for yourself, please. Are you now trolling and judging women’s profiles?
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 55
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History
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/19/2012 3:31:36 PM
OP, just the fact that you felt the need to start a thread like this says a lot about you.



I assume most women are posting older, more flattering pics so they can get to the point of a date and talk to the guy.


Your assumption says even more.

Way to promote truth in adversting about yourself. Even if you're counting on the likelihood that none of your locals read these forums, you will end up with someone who is attracted to your own particular ethics and philosophy - and not that annoying other kind that indulge themselves with silly notions like honesty and self-respect.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 57
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/19/2012 7:58:38 PM
Ya; I suppose Rohypnol, extortion and kidnapping could work too.

I guess it just comes down to what kind of ethics you want to be known for, and what type of person you are hoping to date.

Misleading pics, and hoping that my lie is accepted by the low egoed schmuck I date arn't for me

Enjoy it; if its your thing. [I guess; its possible]

 Herooftheday
Joined: 6/22/2013
Msg: 60
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 12/29/2013 3:08:39 PM
Internet dating is an horrid place.
I would say that about 6 0r 7 out of 10 women that I have met of this site so far have lied or hide something about themselves. And I dont understand this behavior at all!! Grrr! Honesty is such an attractive quality for me.
 forumiteinca
Joined: 12/4/2013
Msg: 61
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 12/29/2013 8:44:31 PM
POF is all about advertising. You and I. The problem with online dating is that there are no standards. Even if there were, there is no one policing those standards. IRL I take an advertisement with a grain of salt. Most photos are enhanced/improved/photoshopped etc. to look appealing. Take an ad for a hamburger for example; have you ever, ever received one that looks like the ad on TV or even the one on display in front of you? No way.

Anyone who thinks that the person in the photo is going to look like that IRL is dreaming. No one ever is just like their photo.

When it comes to onling dating, it is so important to actually meet the person to make a determination if one wants to proceed or not. That is why the ubiquitous coffee shop meet is the usual way to go.

Pic versus no pic. Pic there - is it real or misleading? What to do, what to do? The questions never end...
 rainydaywoman55
Joined: 12/27/2013
Msg: 62
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 12/30/2013 8:03:02 AM
That must be the very rare exception to the rule. Or the guy must be desperate. I met a man many years ago who posted a very old picture. I was a newbie to on-line dating and didn't know people would purposely lie to lure someone in. I agreed to meet him and had no idea who that old man was who was calling my name as I walked by.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 63
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 12/30/2013 2:56:58 PM
musardmoon- Well, that's the exception. it's just not good to deceive people. Myself, I'm just not photogenic, I did manage to take some good ones to post here, but I look much better in person.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 64
view profile
History
Misleading pics CAN work.........
Posted: 1/5/2014 1:12:33 PM
Being a breathing bump in the road that someone stopped to help and ended up marrying CAN work too, but I wouldn't suggest it to anyone. Almost anything CAN happen but I wouldn't hold my breath.
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