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 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 62
55 year old dad with small childrenPage 3 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
OP, try joining the meetup.com groups..you will get to go out without all the red tape, they have many many different type of groups...but you never know if online will work or not...there are very few people on POF who post on the forums so you are getting a very one-sided view.

Good Luck to you!
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 64
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/11/2012 8:21:32 PM
@OP "Guess who comes first" Don't even go there. Kids meeting the GF is reality. If you love and respect them both they'll meet. Kids are resilient, they find the GF interesting. Also, if the GF got it goin on. Good job, cool kids, good body, lovin life etc. what a great role model for a little girl. Chances are the GF is more representative of a successful woman than the x.
@ Welsh. Who the hell is askin anyone to raise their kid? I do that. Her mom helps. We do damn well. Thanks. All we are askin; Don't discriminate. Get it? Sounds like you're lookin to get married. If you are, you're correct. I would never think about doin that again until my daughter was at least 18. I would be sooooooo ashamed to expect ANYONE to raise my kid. That's a real shocker.

 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 65
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/11/2012 8:49:31 PM
If I meet a guy, we fall in love and decide to move in together and he has his children in the home half the time - is this not "helping" to raise his children. Do I ignore the children? Pretend they don't exist? I don't think it works that way. This is a realistic scenerio, a logical progression of the relationship. I know his children have a mother, I'm not their mother but I would still be involved in the feeding and care of the children...would I not? Would I not be giving of my time and energy as well as love and nurturing these children? Would I not be involved in family functions, school functions, family vacations? Would it not cost me personally to assist in the livelyhood of these children? Some are more than prepares to take this on while other aren't.

I don't necessarily need to get married again, I was married once (widowed) and at my age I'm good with a live in committed relationship. I'd like to share my home, my bed, my life with another man. What I don't want to do is assist in raising a family again.

We all have likes and dislikes or red flags or what ever you want to call it. Some like blondes, some like tall men, some like big boobs, some like younger women, some like guys that hunt and fish and some hate guys that hunt and fish. It's the same regarding children. Some will love to have them while others don't. Other's don't want someone that has 3 or 4 divorces under their belt. It's not discrimination, it's a preference. Simple really.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 66
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/11/2012 9:59:27 PM
^^^^You know, Welsh, I kind of agree. I do not see a relationship lasting if a woman were to live with my daughter and I. A new man was introduced in her life while her mom and I were married. Now 5 yrs. later , my x is marrying the guy. My daughter likes him and loves her. Cool. Our house is for her. Her private moments, joy, pain, whatever. Her place to let it all hang out. I won't change that. I'll date. I'm looking for women that just want to long term date. I find them. It works for now. I'll try again, when it's time. All I'm asking is not to be pre-judged. You're last paragraph is also correct. It just seems so rigid. So draconian. "It's all about me now". "I raised mine already". So closed minded. Ever think about all the good guys getting cast aside because of their calling in life? I actually seek that dedication in the women I look for.
 ForumFish
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 67
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/11/2012 10:20:30 PM
DoubleEagle2, I'm glad to hear that you've decided to mention that you have younger kids in your profile. Now you'll have a lot less 'first contacts', but you'll be wasting a lot less time too. Think about all the money you will save on dinners out.

Points to you for calling 55 year-old woman "smoking hot head to toe" and trying to find someone in your age range. So many guys will only consider a woman 10-15 years younger. Good luck in your search.
 ForumFish
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 68
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/11/2012 10:43:06 PM
Nowinters, many of us woman went through this when we were in our 20's, 30's, or 40's. It was just something that you accepted; the fact that you have children means that many guys won't be interested in dating you. So I guess we were "cast aside because of our calling in life?"

Gawd, I'm feeling so draconian tonight.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 69
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/11/2012 11:22:18 PM
most likely if it was in your profile I would not
want to date you for the same reasons as stated above.
and not to be mean or anything...and partly joking here....but those cute little ones
all turn into TeenAgers!!!! wow...I survived 4 teenagers and thank God they all turned out alright.
but going through the teen years, you never know what to expect...and I couldnt do it again.
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 70
view profile
History
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/11/2012 11:23:36 PM
Dating is more difficult at any age when you still have children at home. People want their own children, as I suspect the OP wanted his own children thus being an older father now to 2 young children.

I don't think it is fair to judge women that don't want to raise children for another 15 years. Yes, if I am in a relationship with a man I will also be in a relationship with his children because I do love children.

I gave my child and 2 stepsons my all 24/7 because I love them, but I don't want to start all over again.

The other dating possibility for the OP is a woman who is raising grandchildren. (Just a thought.)
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 71
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/11/2012 11:25:57 PM
but you know OP,..there is someone out there for you who will love your kids and be a step mom to them.
maybe true woman a bit younger. in their 40's to early 40's....as young as you can go. especially if they have young children too. it would work better.
good luck to you i hope you find her.
(and yes I think it will save you time and dinner date money if you put it on your profile)
just put the ages and that you have them part time.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 72
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 4:25:21 AM

As I find a caring mother so much more attractive that a member of the "all about me gang".


nowinters let me get this straight: If a woman doesn't choose to have a child, she's a "narcissist" ?? She's a cold hearted b1tch that doesn't care about anyone except herself? And how pray tell, just how do you know why every woman (or man) decides not to have children?

It's this kind of ignorance about parenting that puts some single parents out to lunch...

Would I date a guy my age with young children? Nope. Do I have experience dating single fathers? Yep. Were they good experiences? Overall NOPE!
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 75
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 5:51:08 AM
If I didn't know any better; I would suspect some women on this site have had horrible experiences with men as young mothers. Maybe too young? When I was young ; I dated a lot of single mothers. Got involved in school functions with their kids, taught a kid to drive my pick-up, sports etc. Fun. I didn't live there or marry their mothers. That's pretty much what I'm looking for. Sometime, I find it. Most of the time I'm severely criticized . Again,POF is a DATING site. I do think matchmaking sites exist.
@ slyvanswan. Sounds pretty caustic. You're upset about something. I have nothing in common with a childless woman. So just as many women choose not to date me simply because I'm a responsible DAD, I choose not to date the childless or never married. Just a personal choice . Sound familiar? Now you know how single fathers feel. No one said the childless are nacissists . I have said taking the attitude that my kids are raised so it's all about me is well......unattractive. Yes, that's right, I said it. Through this site I have met two women that have chosen to deal with the workplace longer than necessary to educate daughters that have had to return to the nest. While that scares the hell out of some parents. These women have embraced the situation. IMHO. NOW THAT'S HOT!!!!!
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 76
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 6:09:30 AM
I have a friend who's kids are.full grown. Met a man with younger kids who only had them half time. Well their mother died and so did the extra funds to raise the kids. Now they have them full time and most her income goes towards house hold AND all the kids activities. Sports n what not.

My friend wants to go see her grandchildren but needs to fly as it is far. Now she can't really afford it. He says to her hey it their kids meaning her own children's kids. So they want you there they should pay your fare.

See how it can go? Anyway she is going to leave him because his kids do truly come first. She is right at the bottom even though she works to help support them.
 rigal41
Joined: 8/24/2011
Msg: 77
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 6:33:14 AM
At 42 yrs old I have a 3 yr old. When I was actively looking on POF or other dating sites I always put "I have a young child" so at least it was out there. Even at my age men aren't always interested in dating someone with a 3 yr old, some my age have teenagers, I understand that. It's not easy and it won't be for you...some women in your age range are just past raising "babies" even though yes they have a mom, they are part of your life.

I met a man who is 40 and no kids, and it's actually better for me. He loves kids, has been an uncle since he was 13 and is very open to my son's age (they have not met yet). I like that when my son is with his dad we can makes plans and aren't juggling 2 different sets of kids. You will find what works for you, it takes time..I've been "looking" for 2 yrs.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 78
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 6:33:36 AM

See how it can go? Anyway she is going to leave him because his kids do truly come first. She is right at the bottom even though she works to help support them.

no disrespect intended to you or her, but why did she get into this situation??? sounds like the guy is very selfish when it comes to HIS offspring
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 79
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 6:35:42 AM
Good morning, Savona. Well, I think those kind of circumstances are one of the many reasons why living together/married would not currently work for me. AGAIN, I think most single dads on here are satisfied with just dating. I'm not looking for a woman with a big purse or a caretaker for my little girl. I can address both issues. Just looking for a companion until Al (my daughter) becomes self sufficient. Who know when. I'm in no hurry. I just feel things get a little harsh and heated sometime.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 80
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 6:57:14 AM

@ slyvanswan. Sounds pretty caustic. You're upset about something.


There you go making more assumptions, this time about me. You don't know me.

You are still making sweeping statements about men and women that are childless and/or have never been married, along with assumptions about mothers who no longer want to be involved with fathers with young children (after working so hard raising theirs).

Again the question: Who made you the expert?

Being an (older) single parent doesn't give you any special or magical powers, and doesn't automatically instill one with good judgement, morals and values either.

Having a child doesn't automatically make you Oprah either, nor does it give the world a reason to have to cater to you.

Yes the OP at his age, will have a few more challenges being an older father with younger kids. It's not that it can't be done though, but he will have to search harder for someone whose lifestyle will be a match to his.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 81
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 7:08:53 AM
@ Ms. Swan. Children are not challenges. That statement just spoke volumes. They are opportunities. Just sayin......That's the big issue here. I'm not an expert. I'm not entitled to a thing. And I for sure am no Oprah. LOL.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 82
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 7:21:53 AM
Nowinters, perhaps re read what Slyvanswan said S L O W L Y, she didn't say Children are challenges she said " at his age he will have a few more challenges being a older father with younger kids"

He will face some challenges just like a lot of single parents with custody of their child(ren), there will be some folks avoiding single parents and some that will embrace it, he has to find the ones that will embrace it.

Every one has challenges, its what you do with the challenges that defines you and your success.

I see so many folks on here complain about the challenges they face" I'm too short, too tall, I have kids, I have multiple kids, I have no kids, Never married, Too fat, too Thin, I'm a capitalist, I'm a socialist, Transgendered, Black, white, Asian, Muslim, Catholic, I hate Fried chicken, I like Fried possum balls and so on and so on.

Instead of concentrating what people don't like about you or your situation find the ones that will embrace you even if its far and few between.

The OP will have some challenges, but its not impossible, he's a decent looking guy and appears in good shape, some woman will embrace him and his situation, he just has to be patient don't dwell on the negatives.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 83
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 7:34:02 AM
Well ICE^^^^ That statement from Ms. Sylvan is open to interpetation, once again your spin seems to favor a negative approach to single dads. My spin likes to put my counterparts in a more favorable light. I'm very curious why you seem to support such negativity. Hmmmmmmmmm. Incidently, my situation is not as bleak as you seem to like to make it. Either is OP's. He's out there meeting people. Me too. Are you? What are our challenges? Weeding out the vast succubus of emotionally, intellectually and physically unattractive women early on is a tremendous opportunity. That is a HUGE positive.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 84
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 7:41:00 AM

Hello everyone. I'm 55 years old with a 4 year old son and an 8 year old daughter. It always comes up eventuallyit should come up before! when dating...and the reaction is universally negative. Politely as i can, I tell them my kids don't need a mother..they have one. The subject always ruins what was a fun evening.because they had info with held from them But I have to be truthful when women ask me casual questions about my children. I don't know another way to handle the situation without answering the question honestly. I'm thinking about focusing my dating energy on younger women with school age children, but thats another can of worms! are you saying it's ok for you to have young'uns, but not the women you date?



Being an (older) single parent doesn't give you any special or magical powers, and doesn't automatically instill one with good judgement, morals and values either.

Having a child doesn't automatically make you Oprah either, nor does it give the world a reason to have to cater to you.
RIGHT ON!!! my impression was that op is a bit narcissistic when it comes to his young kids & women, like we should be clamoring for the priveledge of squashing our own hard-earned freedom for someone else's dna!


Just looking for a companion
then go to the local animal shelter & adopt a cat or a dog.


I have a friend who's kids are.full grown. Met a man with younger kids who only had them half time. Well their mother died and so did the extra funds to raise the kids. Now they have them full time and most her income goes towards house hold AND all the kids activities. Sports n what not.

My friend wants to go see her grandchildren but needs to fly as it is far. Now she can't really afford it. He says to her hey it their kids meaning her own children's kids. So they want you there they should pay your fare.

See how it can go? Anyway she is going to leave him because his kids do truly come first. She is right at the bottom even though she works to help support them.

he is a self-centered pr!ck :0(


So just as many women choose not to date me simply because I'm a responsible DAD, I choose not to date the childless or never married.
brings to mind the old adage: beggars can't be choosers.


but you know OP,..there is someone out there for you who will love your kids and be a step mom to them.
maybe true woman a bit younger. in their 40's to early 40's....as young as you can go. especially if they have young children too. it would work better.
good luck to you i hope you find her.
(and yes I think it will save you time and dinner date money if you put it on your profile)
just put the ages and that you have them part time
great advice :0)


I just don't get why someone that is 55 with small children at home would not be able to comprehend why other 55 year olds don't want to raise another family.
it's a self-centered-ness IMO


After thinking about it overnight, I'm going to add my kids to my profile. It's going to kill 99% of my action though.
what are you a senior porn star who is a stand in for Ron Jeremy ? ;oP


the "ME ME ME" brigade end
i think op is projecting, he could be considered me me me as he wants what he wants w/o understanding who he dates also has their needs & wants

hmmm... maybe i'll go see my ob/gyn, take fertility drugs, get pg one way or another, then put an ad up & see what happens, & when men don't want to date this ole mama, whine about it in the forums ;0)
disclaimer* comment is meant to be humorous
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 85
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 7:49:57 AM
Nowinters, well you assume too much and that is your problem, I tend not to focus on the negatives and focus on the facts.

I don't support negativity but if that is how you feel, knock your self out, second I never said your situation is bleak, if you cannot understand what the word " challenges" means than I'm afraid I cant help you there, that and $4.75 will get a caramel latte at starbucks but it wont get you the girl of your dreams.

The OP has challenges and publicly stated that , sure he is out there meeting people but he is finding he has challenges and you seem to think that women that doesn't want to meet him because he has young children is selfish and shallow ( not sure of the exact words you use)

Well news flash for you bud, WE ALL have challenges, I have them too, Ive had women that wont meet because I'm Black, ( and this is coming from Black women) or I'm under 6 ft, I'm a capitalist, Ive never been married , or has children, Im not in the 99% Occupy wall street protesters crowd, I play hockey and baseball, I like the Bruins not the Leafs, I publicly root for Tim Tebow and I hate fried chicken.

But I'm not focusing on those negative things, because there are women out there that likes me for me , that was my point.

Get it now.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 86
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 7:52:08 AM
^^^^ Who is begging? I'm good. I meet plenty of folks. Truthfully, the forum happens to be the biggest reason why I'm on here. Why is it that having/raising kids is viewed as such a burden? If it is that much of a negative a little prior life planning might be in order. I for one do not regret a thing; including the choice of my daughter's mother.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 87
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 7:57:57 AM
My challenges are that I'm older and used to be overweight.
It's hard enough finding someone compatible without having
to find someone that doesn't mind overweight.

Your challenge is you have a younger child. It's hard to find
someone that you're compatible with that is also interested in
having a younger child. I find it interesting that you are already
telling women you won't be inviting them into your life, as you
see no reason why they should play a role in your children's life.
That doesn't sound like a very satisfying role for a woman to undertake.

I know you're trying to make some of us feel bad, calling us
emotionally, intellectually and physically unattractive (and please don't
pretend that wasn't your intent), but what I don't get is why you don't get
that there are two sides to this issue and why you refuse to see the other
side. This is strange coming from someone I noticed was very in favor
of debating two sides of a political issue.

I guess you have more challenges than you're willing to admit?

I'm sure you're a nice person and a great dad.
I'm a nice person as well, and a great mom. I'm just not interested in being
a mom to younger kids at this point in my life. That doesn't make me draconian,
narcissistic or close minded. That's just my preference. Just likes it's your
preference not to date emotionally, intellectually and physically unattractive
women.

See how simple that is?
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 88
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 7:59:03 AM
^^^^ Who is begging?


Nowinters,*I* cant see where anyone said you were 'begging'

Nor can i see anyone saying having kids is a 'burden'.

You seem to have a real chip on your shoulder
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 89
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 7:59:31 AM
@ ICE. Well,agree to disagree. We all are products of our environment and exposure. KUDOS to Tim Tibow and yourself. Incidently, I have found African American women to be far more open minded regarding the kid issue. I can really get a smile from them when discussing my daughter. Makes this old phart's cold heart warm right up.
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