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 ToThySelf
Joined: 2/26/2010
Msg: 127
55 year old dad with small childrenPage 5 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
I was just wandering in the other neighborhood forums and came about this thread. It doesn' t matter how old you are young kids will always get your 100% attention. You can date younger women but chances are they will want their own kids and dump you. Now who is in the bucket??!
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 128
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 7:45:14 PM
I still find it odd that someone would think I am selfish, all about me and discriminate when they basically want me to discard my choices to accomodate their choices.

And there is a huge difference between dating and long term relationship. I don't think there is such a thing as "long term dating".
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 129
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 8:13:16 PM
@ Welsh & others. Yes I think long term exclusive dating is ideal for single parents. A previous poster touched on that. I met a woman from POF . She lives (when in Mi) about three miles from me . We actually discussed getting married and living with our respective children in our separate houses. Just wondering what you folks thought of that arrangement? She is in Daytona now. But we still talk and there is something there. We both have not yet completed our life's calling.
Maybe Eagle and I should just chuck the dating scene for a while. Join the plain white Tee's. Ha, just kidding.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 130
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 8:23:20 PM
Welsh
I still find it odd that someone would think I am selfish, all about me and discriminate when they basically want me to discard my choices to accomodate their choices.


Easy! A parent who does this is doing it for a noble cause: you are just being selfish.


And there is a huge difference between dating and long term relationship. I don't think there is such a thing as "long term dating".


I suppose there is "long term dating" wherein a couple just "dates" for years and years--but I haven't witnessed it.

As for the "long term" dating as outlined by said poster, it is a dating scenario based on his needs as a parent. In MY opinion, it is akin to putting a woman on the back burner until he is ready to make a commitment. Some women would do that, but they wouldn't see their interaction as long term dating but a long term relationship.

Semantics.


Well, if the men are willing to forego any expectations of exclusivity, the lady will be free to do other things on the weekends when he is not available.


Absolutely, BUT then we will see threads about women going out with other men because said men are home with the kids every other week! And while she is out there, why should she keep the next weekend open for the guy with kids?

OP, you aren’t going to change the minds of women your age who don’t want to date you because you have young children.
There is a woman on POF that I'm very interested in , and we have been communicating. I will send her an email today regarding my children.


Run with it!


I think long term exclusive dating is ideal for single parents. A previous poster touched on that. I met a woman from POF . She lives (when in Mi) about three miles from me . We actually discussed getting married and living with our respective children in our separate houses. Just wondering what you folks thought of that arrangement?


I think that isn't long term "dating." Why get married? Ay yi yi . . .
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 131
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 8:45:35 PM
@ Savona. re: msg 94: Very judgemental. My health ifs fine. Still running marathons. Are you? 420 is my one vice. I would never push it on anyone. I'm very moderate and reasonable in my usage. After years of outdoor labor in cold wet Mi winters , my joints ache(excuse the pun). 420 relieves that. When was the last time a 420 user started a bar fight? Go drink your wines. Incidently, I can't date the unwilling. I don't exploit anyone and I'm always a gentleman. Hey, like it or not, I put it out there. As you read, nothing is held back. No BS here. Incidently, at a recent physical my Dr. advised me to "keep up the good work". Something must be going well. Maybe a little caustic there? Please, agree to disagree. Have you ever viewed "reefer madness"? just askin........
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 132
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/12/2012 9:39:48 PM
Damn it Savona, that edit thing wasn't working . So, I must come back again. Be judgemental of 420 users; fine. I don't take that personally. Many people will abuse alcohol (not saying you do) and then be critical of 420. I don't care. It's my version of the evening****ail. I haven't used alcohol since I was 20. What is prejudging and what is hurtful is being accused of exploitation. Prejudging is my big problem with this kid issue. I wear my intentions on my sleeve. Any woman I date is aware of my intents and limits. I don't use women EVER. I don't lie on a personal level. Seems like yourself and others are in search of that one final relationship, I must wait for that. That's how my life happened to shake out. I'm not a bad man because of it. I'm not a bad man because I responsibly use 420. It is now legal with scrip in 8 states. More in 2012.Times are changing. You're cool. No worries. But please no accusations of being a misleading user. Just not true. You read my profile ; begin as friends end as friends. Not a lot of folks can say that. Let's not get into another shoot out. Take Care......you may want to subscribe to the NORML newsletter.....just kidding. Again,PEACE.
 seki1949
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 133
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 1:06:39 AM
2 ladyc4


It may sound as if I am splitting hairs


You are splitting hairs and counting angels.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 134
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 1:41:04 AM
"we're looking towards EXCITEMENT, we are looking towards spontanious vacations or maybe winter for a month or two in a southern climate, disposable income spent on hobbys, interests, travel, investments, shoes, spa vacations, or we're still slogging away at our careers. I, and many, don't want the restriction of children, PTA, basketball games and hockey practices or braces. "

That is exactly how a guy spends his youth - to end up as a first time parent in his mid fourties ;-)
(so I changed a word - sue me)
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 136
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 6:19:33 AM
^^^^^ @ msg 137. Yeah, Eagle, negative response. Some guys flounder after divorce. A good lawyer friend of mine has what he calls the triple play. Divorce, Drunk Driving. Bankruptcy. Some guys get stuck in that trap. Sounds like you and I and other men are NOT going there. Obtaining joint custody , having a great relationship with your kid(s) is key to not going there. Some folks (m/f) are pissed at us because not only have we survived divorce we have flourished from it. I've noticed you are still supporting the x. What's up with that? Yeah, 55; well maintained, accepting of your kids, low expectations,nurturing of her kids(@any age); self supporting; COOL. In short, a winner. Treat her right. Godspeed.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 137
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 6:45:01 AM
OP
sorry lol the "smokin hot" was a simple compliment to this lady you know? I think any woman that works hard on her health and appearance would love hearing that! And when I meet a 55 year old woman who takes very good care of herself I am very impressed!!! Sorry but she had it all. She will live to be a 100. So many have given up 20 years ago!


It isn't so much that you used "smokin' hot," but what about her other attributes? Is she smart? Is she educated? Does she have an engaging personality? What type of life experiences does she have? Have you met her yet?

I cannot tell you how many men on POF have contacted me and their first emails says, "Wow! You are sexy/gorgeous/sexy" etc. And I am sexy and attractive--though not gorgeous or smokin' hot--but I am MUCH more than the way that I look. If a man comments about a woman and about all he has to say is, "She's smokin' hot," then that appears that is where his interest is centered: on the way that she looks.

And thanks for the slam against most 55 year old women. I am 59 and my chances of living to 100 are actually pretty good because I am healthy, do not smoke--though I am not smokin' hot--and the women in my family are very long lived. I was not previously aware that being smokin' hot was a prerequisite for a long life--health, yes, looks, no.

Oh, and I work hard on my appearance even though I am not smokin' hot.

Any other insults that you want to hand-out to the dowdy women posting on this thread?

If you haven't met her, you are counting your chickens way before they hatch.

Nowinters
Some folks (m/f) are pissed at us because not only have we survived divorce we have flourished from it.


You mistake the intent and misinterpret the posts to you. People are not upset because you “survived” divorce and flourished from it. You are not the only person who has done this! I left a 25 year marriage, moved halfway across the continent, got a Master’s Degree, work at a job that I love, bought a house two years ago, and am doing better financially and emotionally that I have ever done. NO ONE is slamming me because of my life or is mad at me because I am doing well. Yup, I get negative comments from other posters, but that is because of what I say and how I say it. It is the same for you!

And people who expend emotion to get more than momentarily pissed at a poster have some issues. Some forumites have grudges against other posters and follow them from forum to forum to heckle them, hoping to get a response that is worthy of a ban. There are people to whom I will not respond because of this. ~Shrug.~ They need lives and need to stop worrying about the opinions of strangers.

It’s your life, live it as you want. If my life were as busy as yours—with a child, job, and a woman/man whom I wanted to marry—I wouldn’t even be in these forums because I wouldn’t have time!
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 138
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 7:05:06 AM

@ Ms. Peppermint. Again we're just dating here. What does this gentleman's future financial situation have to do with anything? Being the good man that he is. He will address his financial responsibility TO HIS CHILDREN.


Current and future obligations financial and otherwise has a lot to do with IT.
A woman not getting past a first date when he says he has very young kids but don't live with him?

What do you think she is thinking?
Alimony, child support, summer camp, braces, yada yada
You think a 55 year old man isn't going to spoil little children?

You can't be THAT naive can you?




That's all I have to say


Riiiiiiiight. You'll be back.

I can roof my own head, but whats the point of a LTR without great sex, doing adult things alone or with peers you enjoy and being secure financially as a couple?


Some of the biggest reasons for loosing interest in your SO
Unsatisfying sex
Money issues
Kids ( how they are raised)
Priorities^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 139
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 7:17:00 AM
Gads...I guess I need to tell my girlfriend that I'm not datable due to my financial responsibilities, kids, and sexual dysfunction....I just don't know how I'm able to retire at the end of this month...perhaps I should call my boss and put that on hold seeing as how my kids need braces and college, and I gotta keep my golf membership up...and maybe I autta cancel the family spring break at Hilton Head too...to save money...and tell our Au Paire to stop coming by so I can really focus on staying at home....and drag my spouse outta the ground so we can fight over silly shyte in front of the kids and girlfriend.

We all like what we like and want what we want...eye color, hair style, weight, age, kids, ethnic background, and so on are all deal breakers or makers.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 141
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 7:23:21 AM
@ Gwen 2010: Notice the (m/f) on the post. That means both males and females. Many males also get insecure about hearing "successful" divorce stories. I'm pretty happy. Things dropped into place reasonably well after the big D. Incidently, her call not mine; I was replaced. I've met some pretty cool "smokin hot" 55 yr old babes (LOL) on here and elsewhere. I can't remarry yet. I would like to. Please don't prejudge us guys. And no , I don't stalk dissenters looking for a fight on other posts. Nor do I get pissed off at dissention. Matter of fact, if you have noticed ; I've really started to like some of the "postees" on the forum. As for time; well I love to BS w/ folks and take it easy. Oh, one last rant (Ha). Only one time was I every angry at a fellow poster. Last night when I was accused of exploitation and "hump and dump". Not true. As a matter of fact. The opposite has been true. But for fear of getting verbally chastised again ; I won't go there. I'm seriously happy things are working well for you too. That's cool. I do however, think you confuse the two guys in the white tee shirts and our posts. Oh, all middle aged guys with kids look alike right? Just kidding. PEACE to you as well.
@ Eagle. Spot on about the fitness comments. Many of my ramblings are written while I'm on the elliptical. My mother lived until age 92. She was aerobically active until 91!!!
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 143
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 7:50:44 AM
@ nr. 144 Yeah, Eagle . I'm just workin the #'s here. Damn impressive. What? Under an 8 minute mile @ 60 something. Ahh, it's nice to have goals. oh, yeah the shirts 10 for 10 @ Wally world.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 146
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:21:34 AM
re nrs. 146 & 147. KUDOS to you. Your fianancial responsibility is far more impressive than the edit. Although the edit is phenomenal. Actually that ocean swim is what really blows me away. Between sand walking/running and ocean swimming what a GREAT workout!!! Hey, events like that are great places to meet cool women!!!! Sure beats the bars.
My x is re-marrying the guy she left me for 5 yrs ago. This is soooo cool. She becomes his financial burden. My daughter spends even more time with me and friends. So, things do work out. Thanks for the good communication; makes the morning elliptical fly by. OOPS, we're getting off topic. Watch out, negative responses are looming. LOL.
Hey, just a quick addendum: Don't be too generous . She'll never get a backbone. Just curious, How was her relationship with her DAD? Incidently my daughter is 11 and already saving and planning to open a dog grooming business. She may have ADHD but she already knows how to turn a buck. She's running a popcorn sale today after school.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 147
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:23:40 AM
How about we get back to the topic in hand? OP why do you think or believe dating is difficult for a 55 year old guy with younger children?
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 148
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:28:01 AM
@ iceman oh, don't be such a buzz kill. I was right about neg. response. See?
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 149
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:34:52 AM
Good Lord, are you seriously stoned nowinters? you see negativity everywhere don't you? I bet you can find negativity in a day care full of 5 year old's smiling .
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 151
view profile
History
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:50:53 AM
Well I am happy that Eagle has met a "smoking hot" 50+ woman, I am happy that he finds a woman that age smoking hot.

Both posters seem to be in a good place in life, just their love lives are difficult, like everyone else here who is looking to date. We all have preferences, ours are preferences, an others is a prejudice.

I'm getting a kick out of the fact both men are wearing white T-shirts.
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 153
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:12:11 AM

I was just wandering in the other neighborhood forums and came about this thread. It doesn' t matter how old you are young kids will always get your 100% attention. You can date younger women but chances are they will want their own kids and dump you. Now who is in the bucket??!



I think now-a-days a lot of the younger women don't even want thier own effing kids! They dump them on the dad or the grand parents!
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 154
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:25:48 AM
@ 151:@ ICE. LMAO again. You have a way of bringing that out in me. Actually, no 420 for a little while , no Marlboro lights or coffees either. I'm detoxing for a bit. Anyway, always blame it on 420 when you burn yourself. Ha. Wanna hear positive read on!!!

@152 @EAGLE Pleasure meeting you. Yeah by all means. Be proud of the fact your a GREAT DAD. Post it in your profile ASAP. It will save you a lot of hassle in the long run. Weed them out ASAP. As you can see, real attractive women dig YOUR winning attitude. Keep up the good work-outs. You're right this issue is getting old. Onward.

@msg 153. I have'nt looked at your profile so I know nothing physically about you. Being positive and kind enough to get on here and compliment Eagle after all the berating he took is SMOKIN HOT. Now, thats positive!!! Have a wonderful day!!!! Maybe we'll send you a Tee.

One last observation: I think some of these criticizers are from the same geographic area. They may be sunshine/Vitamin D deprived.

Time to get off the elliptical. Have a fun day everyone..............
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 155
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 9:44:31 AM
OP...I don't see anything wrong with describing someone as "smokin hot"...I've used that term a few times myself. And just recently when asked about someone I met a few months ago, my first words were.... he's "sizzling hot" Besides being a whole lot of "eye candy" he is also intelligent, witty charming...and endearingly sweet & gentle..... but damn it all if he doesn't live about three hours away. Both of us have teenagers at home as well....*sigh*. A few barriers to say the least. :(

Hope things work out better for you.

...mae
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 156
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 10:02:21 AM

What is disappointing is these women seem to be in " bucket list" mode, and are looking for travel/hobby partners more than anything else....it seems a bit superficial. They are looking right thru me.....and percieving problems that don't exist. Yes, in a LTR my children will be a part of their lives...is that a bad thing?

UNREAL. Because YOU chose to have children so late in life (and let me guess - with a much younger wife that you're no longer with?), we're all supposed to think that's just fine and dandy. And if we don't, we're "superficial," is that how it is?

Give me a freakin' break.

Yup, women are going to continue looking right through you with that crappy attitude you have - acting as though women OWE you something because YOU chose to have young kids so late in life. Your choice, own it. Just because WE chose to get our childrearing years over with in our youth so we could ENJOY our middle years doesn't make us superficial. I think it makes us smart.

We'll just agree to disagree.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 157
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 10:18:37 AM
And just so you don't think we're all so superficial, about me, whiney...I'll tell you basically what makes me not contact someone or not reply to someone just going by their profile -
1) Smokes dope/does drugs, 2) drinks more than occasionally, 3) has kids at home, 3) is obese, 4) has a negative profile (b!tchy/whiney), 5) religious profiles (ie. "looking for a god fearing women"), 5) long haul trucker (never home), calls me honey, dear, hot stuff in a first contact email, 6) says "nice tits" in a first contact email, 7) has a profile consisting of 2 sentences.

These are my basic parameters for dating - I pretty much know what I want and what/who will fit me. And even if the stars seems to line up, it's all about the chemistry. As many men have rejected me as I have rejected them. These two posters may be getting rejected because they have white t-shirts on - who friggin knows why we get rejected but we ALL do, not just 55 year olds with small children.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 158
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 1/13/2012 10:56:15 AM
Crapye, just when I thought I'd found the perfect woman...her list of deal-breakers includes kids at home...sigh...



I bet you can find negativity in a day care full of 5 year old's smiling .


Well....if half of them have an intestional flu????

Edit below:


But then now you come with an excessive amount of baggage.


Ahem...I'll thank you not to call children baggage. Remember, one man's baggage is another woman's treasure...after all, how often has a man read in a woman's profile "my children mean everything to me/are my world/are my greatest treasure/are my greatest asset/yada yada yada"????

One of my deal-breakers includes women who smoke....which is easier to give up then children and much more harmful to their health and mine.
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