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 FloridaLady46
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 242
55 year old dad with small childrenPage 9 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
Hi Double Eagle! Thank you for the update and I'm very happy to hear that things are going well with you and Smokin Hot (Terri).
 Marken69
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 243
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/5/2012 7:49:15 PM
I agree that everyone has their choice as to who they want to date and whether they still want children in their life. I don't look at my child as a shakle that I can't wait till its off. I look to him to keep my youthful spirit and an open mind, and a joyful outlook to each new day!
If you are done having children in your life and take pleasure in traveling, freedom to do anything you desire, then that is what you should do.
As far as dealbreakers for dating, if mine included saggy breasts and a big butt, would that be ok?
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 244
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/5/2012 8:13:05 PM
Yes....it would be OK...
Just may narrow your odds some...lol.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 245
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/5/2012 9:00:43 PM
"As far as dealbreakers for dating, if mine included saggy breasts and a big butt, would that be ok?" Of course it would be okay, why wouldn't it? Your preferences are your preferences, it's the same as if you want a blonde, if you want tall, if you want someone who enjoys the opera, and it goes to what you don't want as well, say you don't like redheads, golfers, someone who drinks, or won't hike with you. We all need to find who fits us and we fit them. As for saggy, most women aren't as perky as they were years ago but many of us aren't "saggy", butts, well...they are what they are.

I don't condemn you because you have children at home, it's just not a fit for me. I have friends with young children, I don't hate kids, I just don't want to raise them or be involved in raising them. One of my best buds is raising his young children and I know from him that it's hard to find someone "our" age that is willing to partake, but they are out there, he found someone. The OP found someone, you will find someone.

I get a lot of folks turned off by the fact that I'm widowed, it's the whole shrine thing I apparently have built in my home. Some don't like the fact that I have redhair and I'm short. I can't make someone like me or stop them from making assumptions about me. I ride a motorcycle too so apparently I'm in with the Hell's Angels and have tattoos and steal old lady's purses. Who the hell knows. We all just have to keep trying to find that perfect fit for us.

You will find someone and it will be worth the wait and the slogging through the not so perfects.
 Stevenin2012
Joined: 1/24/2012
Msg: 246
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/5/2012 9:14:42 PM
Guy, your situation with the kids is more age-appropropriate with younger women who have kids that age, not the typical woman your age whose kids are grown.

You might find yourself a younger woman to relate to.

Tough situation.........
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 248
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 4:21:58 AM
Re: msg 250........What I'm seeing here and elsewhere is a lot of young old folks. Many of these women became grandmas at 40. That really does not happen in my culture. Nor do we produce more than 2 children. To each their own. One issue I have noticed is these boomer grand parents are pissed!!! Why? Do they feel they missed something? Do they really think they are done being "mom" at a certain age? Are their kids even interested in knowing them? Is being a parent like being in the work force? Do your time , get out? Being a parent is a lifetime calling. Everytime some "elderly" specimen in oversize capris tells me I'm undateable because of my wonderful daughter, I thank the Lord. After reviewing their profile I wouldn't date these fossils if I was stoned and using viagra!!!
If big butts can be reduced; why not? Hell, getting someone to post a full body picture is like asking some of these grandmas to appear naked. Oh, heavens.......
 Bauxite
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 249
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 5:22:43 AM
One thing you didn't seem to mention is the financial impact of raising children. I raised four sons, all athletes, all honor students, all college graduates, and all by one father. Yes we did our time and have excellant relationships with our children and grandchildren. I find it odd that a man would decide to have children in their 50's. What was the deal, to busy partying and playing the field in your 30's. Don't even get me started on child support. I have recently had an individual proposing marriage and stating the child support does not come out of my pocket. News Flash. It does. Not to mention the exwives constantly requesting more funds. Call me selfish, this is my time and I am going to enjoy it. I raised my sons, you raise yours. Difference is when they graduated college I wasn't 70. Good luck finding a nanny for your kids. One that doesn't mind half your income going to another woman. How about this for an old fashion value. Stay together till your kids are raised. I mean we are the adults. Shouldn't we set the example. Nothing in this life is easy.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 251
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 5:49:50 AM
^^ Id find out if he had children on our first date.

Whether id hit the 'reject' button would depend on the ages of his children *shrug*.
We all have our dealbreakers
*Edit* Op,i met a man in the Real World and he has children but they're all young adults........phew :)
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 252
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 5:50:24 AM
@253.......There is a section of our profiles asking intent. As much as I would like to get married again; I'm waiting. Sounds like you have no reason to wait. I clearly state my intentions or lack of. That being said, if we're only dating; what's the big deal? BTW, There are many reasons for mature parentcy. Not all are voluntary.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 253
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History
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 6:02:29 AM
I don't see what the big deal is in this thread. The profiles show whether you have kids, or want kids. If you don't have or want, and don't want to be come involved with those who do, set your filters. Simple.

I do agree that if someone has kids in tow, any relationship will be affected in many ways because of the kids. I have also found that there are hordes of very fine women who are quite happy to get involved with kids, whether or not they have their own. I suspect that women must find the same about men.

As to all the stuff about "freedom", its just different with kids, not better, not worse. People should just suit themselves.

Of all the reasons why one would not want a relationship with someone, I think them having kids is way down the list of priorities. Kids usually grow up and depart. Booze, drugs, crime, personal habits, etc are there forever.
 Bauxite
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 256
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 6:12:11 AM
I don't think it is your kids that have women hitting the reject button. It is you. What is with the older lady remark. Dude your 55. Do you really believe you walking up has a woman thinking I want some of that. The one thing you may have going for you is the financially secure part. Sure there are a lot of women that enjoy spending every other weekend and holidays alone as long as you are footing their bills.
 Bauxite
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 258
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 6:59:14 AM
Perhaps I did and for that I apologize. Two of my sons married women with children from previous relationships. I do believe it takes a special person to assume such a responsibility. Hope all works out for you and yours.
 Marken69
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 259
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:07:12 AM
I find it hillarious when I read that these women who had three and four kids raised them to be adults and now are single. Where is the father? I would be hesitant to even date these women whose marriage must of been miserable the last few years. One other thing I would like to state on the matter. I found a woman to truly love later in life. We were blessed with a beautiful son. When he was 3, she DIED!!! If this tragedy wouldn't of happened, I wouldn't be in this situation. Also, thanks, I will look to younger less bitter women!
 Bauxite
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 260
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:16:37 AM
Good Luck. After reading your post I can't imagine many young, intelligent women would be interested in you. Your a pathetic individual and in no way qualified to pass judgement about fathers or marriages. Appears neither of yours lasted.
 Bauxite
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 261
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:23:19 AM
I am sorry for you loss however.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 262
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:28:02 AM
I don't think I'm an old, bitter, cranky old broad. I'm widowed, have a son (another son died) and I have 3 grandchildren whom I adore. Because of distance I only visit my son and grandchildren 4 or 5 times a year. I'd love if they were closer but that's not the way it is. Everyone has a story, that's mine.

When I first get to know someone I want to know up front if they have kids (not many do) so going on half a dozen dates with Mr. Wonderful before he dropped the kid bombshell on me won't happen. And if he wasn't up front about it - too bad, so sad, goodbye. If you don't tell your potential date about having young children is lying by omission. And what would be the point.

I just don't get the dumping on women because they don't want to raise your children.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 263
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:33:48 AM

Of all the reasons why one would not want a relationship with someone, I think them having kids is way down the list of priorities. Kids usually grow up and depart. Booze, drugs, crime, personal habits, etc are there forever.


This makes no sense at all.
W would someone want a relationship with anyone that had issues with booze, drugs,
crime or other serious personal habits? Who cares what number they are on
the freaking list? Young children for older people is often a deal breaker,
whether it's the #1 or #10 dealbreaker, doesn't really matter.

It's personal preference. No different than not wanting to date someone who
doesn't meet your looks criteria. What makes one personal preference worse
than the other, and why should someone else decide your criteria?

This isn't complicated or rocket science. It's just another group of people
defending themselves against someone else's "dealbreaker". No different
than the "I'm too fat" "I'm too short" I'm too whatever no one wants" threads.

Lots of women would no doubt welcome young children. Why worry about the
reasons for those that won't? You wouldn't be compatible anyways.
 Marken69
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 264
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:33:58 AM
Huh? I guess mine didn't last beacuase I can't bring back the dead! As far as pathetic, I may be but at least I am not dating you!
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 265
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:37:29 AM
@266.... Who is dumping? No one raises my daughter but her mother and I. Again, JUST DATING. Item #1 on my profile, my first topic of conversation. Trust me, you'll know about my daughter. Six dates to tell you about a kid!!!! That's pathetic!!!! I just can't believe you think men want you to raise their kid!!!! Jesus, the 1950's have come and gone. Did we just step out of a time warp?
 Bauxite
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 266
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:43:16 AM
And unless you are a fortune teller, you can't say for sure that it would have lasted. As I stated, I am sorry for your loss. Your son is very fortunate to have what appears to be a caring and committed father. I do wish you the best.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 267
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:48:42 AM
@266.... Who is dumping? No one raises my daughter but her mother and I. Again, JUST DATING. Item #1 on my profile, my first topic of conversation. Trust me, you'll know about my daughter. Six dates to tell you about a kid!!!! That's pathetic!!!! I just can't believe you think men want you to raise their kid!!!! Jesus, the 1950's have come and gone. Did we just step out of a time warp?


Are you being deliberately obtuse or are you just really wound up?
She said dumping on women who don't want to raise or help raise
young kids...as in giving them a hard time because apparently they aren't
entitled to a preference. Which seems odd, since most who have young kids
have said they wouldn't want an old bitter woman anyways.

Again, I ask, why concern yourself with someone who isn't interested in you
for whatever reason?



Maybe you folks should get out and use your AARP cards somewhere.


Well I don't have an AARP card, but I do get out when I can. But that aside,
pot...may I introduce you to kettle?
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 268
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 8:08:49 AM
To boo: Look, all us guys are able to raise our kids ourselves; fiancially and every other way. That is a HUGE plus of mature parentcy. Again, who is dumping? Just stating a fact. I called her out on her BS; that's all. I mean really, wanting some one from POF to assume the role of your kids mother. PLEASE. I agree. I'm not interested in her either; but obtuse? Maybe you folks should get out and use your AARP cards somewhere.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 269
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 8:27:02 AM
issue I have noticed is these boomer grand parents are pissed!!! Why? Do they feel they missed something? Do they really think they are done being "mom" at a certain age? Is being a parent like being in the work force? Do your time , get out? Being a parent is a lifetime calling. Everytime some "elderly" specimen in oversize capris tells me I'm undateable because of my wonderful daughter, I thank the Lord. After reviewing their profile I wouldn't date these fossils if I was stoned and using viagra!!!

What a bunch of rubbish!!! Shakes head....put down the weed.!!!!


Hey (older) ladies what happened to falling in love? Chemistry? Sexual Attraction? So a great looking, well dressed man walks up to you at a party and introduces himself. And you're thinking wow I want some of that! You have a couple of casual dates and the mutual attraction is very strong. He is a solid guy, knows how to treat a woman, is well known in the community, financially secure, etc etc. This has been real life dating, so neither of you have spilled your guts about your private lives. So you finally learn he has 2 small children. Do you hit the reject button

Maybe not...depending if I want to be involved with someone with young children....duh!
And another

find it hillarious when I read that these women who had three and four kids raised them to be adults and now are single. Where is the father? I would be hesitant to even date these women whose marriage must of been miserable the last few years. One other thing I would like to state on the matter. I found a woman to truly love later in life. We were blessed with a beautiful son. When he was 3, she DIED!!! If this tragedy wouldn't of happened, I wouldn't be in this situation. Also, thanks, I will look to younger less bitter women

So....You are widowed/with small children at the time...look up statistics of how many women are in that situation.....even in divorces...the majority of the time..women are the main caretakers....so that whine don't work
So...good luck to you..on finding an unjaded woman...I find the younger generation are even less tolerable...selfish than us old broads

I did have a relationship a few years ago with a man who had a yougun(2) from his second younger wife....of course, this was not brought up until into the third or so date and I against my better judgement...thought I was in love...yes, the chemistry...all that.
I bounded with the child...no problem there...I bought the gifts...made sure she bathed...etc...
He wasn't a good father..had no idea!!!
We split because of other reasons but I will not get involved with a man with young children again...all your crass name calling...btw...nice..showing what kind of men you are...is not going to change a 50+ womans mind...
 Marken69
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 270
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 8:31:48 AM
LoL! weed? You got some?
 Marken69
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 271
55 year old dad with small children
Posted: 2/6/2012 9:00:01 AM
Seriously though, I left my "Cheech & Chong" days about when most women changed from their "Farrah Fawcett" hairdos. You did change didn't you? I truly wouldn't want someone in my life that couldn't or wouldn't accept me or my child equally. That is the way it should be. To those who are done with young children, best of luck! But I have found that kids of any age always come first whether they are 5 or 50.
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