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 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 151
Should A POF member approach you in public?Page 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

i wouldn't blame tila tequila for her opinion--if she's getting hit on enough by guys not in her league, why add to her burden?


Well, to start, what is her league? Yeah, she's an attractive girl, but for all we know, she can be one of the worst people in the world.

It's a reality of being a woman, guys are going to approach you. I can see it sucking for them, but they're also not pushing for arranged marriages either, so at some point, someone has to approach someone they're interested in. Humanity kind of depends on it. If it's not someone from POF, it's going to be some random other person, what's the difference?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 152
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 9/30/2015 1:30:13 PM

Maybe some might welcome it. As for me, no! I get approached enough irl so I honestly don't want to be bothered.

You forgot to flip the hair! ;) If he was really cute and you remembered his profile as a good catch, and you saw it as a "bother", then Rockin Trucker has a very good point -- why are you on a dating site in the first place? Or better put -- you're way too sensitive for the dating scene.

Are you really NDTfan back on the forums as someone else?

Ahh, good point. NDTfan certainly was no Neil deGrasse Tyson, either...

Don't blindly walk up to her and ask her out, but talk, be social. If she has a problem with that, she doesn't speak for the millions of women who don't. Be respectful, and there shouldn't be any problem.

I agree. I don't think any guy would blindly walk up with a question to go out - lol. Fat chance of guys fearing some habit of doing that. But yeah, to generate some convo, to feel/get feedback. It's a topic of conversation. If a gal or guy's all wound-up and "pshaw" about the concept, then they've got a bug up their a$$ -- and as long as you were cool & cordial in your greeting, you weren't the one doing anything wrong... they were in their crude response (IF there would be one).

I think the guy should understand that just because she's conversational about recognizing them from online -- doesn't mean they dig you. You have to start from square zero in terms of reading potential interest, which won't be able to be read right off the bat by any means. AFTER that initial convo that kick-started it seeing them online is no longer talked about, BUT you're still talking/engaging well After that -- with signs of mutual interest to some degree... Then it'd be time to throw the notion of getting together some time. If she's not that interested in you, she won't be that interested in carrying on much with you after that initial convo of seeing them online before.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 153
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 9/30/2015 2:51:48 PM
An attractive woman might have a personality so lousy, it shows in her profile. so why would we even approach her? oh yeah, to get laid. and we wish we can hide it, but we won't. or maybe her personality reveals itself in public--she's got the ice queen thing going, choses to wear half-shirts to show her flat belly so those without the gym-toned male physique already know not to bother, etc. And again, why approach someone you share nothing sexual with? to be a friend? you don't want to be in the friend zone.

I mean, we don't remember these women b/c they looked so average in their profile. I've had some attractive female friends, and they knew when a guy was approaching with a goal. its the same body language a stranger has when they come up to ask you how they are doing, as a Segway into selling you something. its that "I got up my nerve" attitude.

now, maybe there's a chance you come off poorly online, and in person, you're a Prince. But, there's also that chance a hottie has seen enough of what she doesn't like, to recognize it in any form and know what she wants looks like, b/c it lacks all of those things she's seen enough of. I don't think we're talking about people who get desperate for contact and will lower their standards if they just bumped into you today, but people who have enough non-strangers in their life they can pick from, should they feel an itch behind their fly.

perhaps those few people should put on their profile, "if I haven't responded and we meet at the mall someday, please don't think I am poor at figuring people out thru their profiles. If you have a chance, I will already give you one." not for our benefit, but for their's....assuming that guys can take an obvious hint :)
 baconflavoredbacon
Joined: 9/12/2015
Msg: 154
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 10/1/2015 2:26:28 AM
I remain faceless to avoid this problem.
 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 155
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/1/2015 9:39:24 AM
I was browsing previous threads to see where I could place a comment on about a coffee meet I had yesterday and saw this topic.

I actually saw someone from the site when I was out riding my bike and circled around to ask him if he indeed was from here. His answer was very negative, not because I recognized him, but a condemnation of the site because of his experiences with the women he had met. I cannot say for sure but I may have messaged him at one time too but he never answered.

Occasionally his profile comes across my screen and I see that for all he has to say that is negative about the site's women, he still logs on every day. He was not interested in me at all, just griped about his bad experience, and maybe because that was not the best way to introduce myself to a stranger. I am not going to do it again.

There are a couple of men that live very close to me that have profiles and pictures on the site. I don't want to date either of them and I just don't think it is a good idea to tell them I know they are doing OLD. I saw someone in the grocery store one day, pretty sure it was the same guy I had a back and forth with a long time ago but he never wanted to meet me. He no longer has a profile up.

At one time I had thought it would be a nice way to break the ice with a stranger, like "Hey, I see we're both on POF, want to date?" But that could cause all sorts of problems (unless I ran for cover and quick looked up their profile on my phone to confirm what they are about) and now as I look at the other responses on this thread, I think I'll keep mum and save it for if they do contact my faceless profile and want to arrange a meet, and maybe not even then. There is an advantage to remaining anonymous on both sides and it is lopsided if I know what you look like but you don't have a clue what I look like.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 156
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/1/2015 10:00:03 AM
Those gals from the intimate encounter days were running scared..
 csillagjanos
Joined: 10/18/2015
Msg: 157
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/1/2015 6:46:26 PM
It's like those "close encounters of the third kind."

"I'm from outer space."

"Fun."

"And I've been watching you."

"With a giant telescope?"

"No. In my underwear, hiding behind the bushes in your backyard."
 csillagjanos
Joined: 10/18/2015
Msg: 158
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/1/2015 6:50:51 PM
""""I've had people show up at the bookstore who recognized me from POF.""""

I was accosted daily by people who recognized me from POF. Since I am the only handicapped ventriloquist in town with an accent and a set of false teeth that come out every time my "dummy" says "onomatopoeia", I decided to not show my picture profile any more.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 159
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/1/2015 7:29:27 PM
I've had a few give me a long look. None have ever said anything.

I did see one that I did message, (with no reply) and it wasn't difficult to understand WHY she didn't. She looked much older than her photos. Had a "few extra pounds" (About a hundred extra). Was about 6 inches shorter than her stated height.

I'd like to know who was twisting her arm when she wrote it. I don't mind some exaggeration. But,what I saw would make me get up and leave on a first meet.
 csillagjanos
Joined: 10/18/2015
Msg: 160
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/4/2015 10:35:53 PM
"""I did see one that I did message, (with no reply) and it wasn't difficult to understand WHY she didn't. She looked much older than her photos. Had a "few extra pounds" (About a hundred extra). Was about 6 inches shorter than her stated height."""

Makes me wonder how you recognized her. It sounds like a totally diff person you described from the description given. The biggest challenge of suspending disbelief is of course the six inches. Women don't lie about their heights.

So if there was semblance, perhaps you met her mother or grandmothers. Or nobody, just a person. If the woman of your dreams above described also had a strong mustache then chances are she was my cousin Arnold who likes to dress up as a woman.
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 161
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/24/2015 3:33:49 AM
LOL...unless i talked to her about meeting....I would'nt approach a woman I recognize from the sight only because she might be some cracked up screw ball that has everyone arrested or worse shoot my ass...worlds gone nuts and the nuts are using any means they can!
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 162
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/24/2015 4:16:43 AM
^^It hasn't anything to do with her right to privacy or her comfort label in being approached by POF desperados. I get it! She must be a sick ****!
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 163
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/24/2015 5:54:24 AM
Should people IRL approach people on PoF?

Seems fair to me.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 164
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/24/2015 6:41:57 AM
I don't think I have recognized someone in public from their OLD pictures. The reverse has happened. Seeing a person's OLD pictures and realizing that I have seen that person in public before. Not necessarily someone that I know well. It could be a waitress / bartender or someone that goes to my gym.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 165
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/24/2015 10:16:23 AM
The only way I would recognize someone from a POF profile picture in real life is if I saw them holding a mirror in front of them and taking a selfie-especially if they were doing it in the bathroom renovations section of Home Depot.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 166
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/24/2015 10:51:30 AM
^^^and she'd have to be bent over or 3 feet tall so we could get the "down the shirt" view.

"hey, are you on POF? Oh, sorry....your cleavage just looked so familiar, that's all"
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 167
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/24/2015 11:08:01 PM
purplerider

Why would a woman lie about her height? Okay the age and weight thing does happen. But are you sure it was the same woman you had previously messaged?

How do you really handle a first meet that has obviously lied big time? Do you make some excuse and disappear or tell them they lied and leave?
 cookymaker
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 168
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/25/2015 5:41:30 PM
It wasn't a POF person, but I did see a co-worker from a different dating site.
We actually were the only two people in the elevator one day. I was tempted to call him by his USER ID but....
we opted to ride in silence staring at the ceiling.
I often take the stairs now LOL

I have however gone to group get togethers ( yet another dating site) Some people would look at each other not quite sure, others you didn't know who they were until they said their name. Me.. everyone walked up and said "Hi (my name)' When finally about a 4th guy said my name out loud and hugged me, I asked "how come everyone knows its me??" He said " Can't miss that gorgeous head of hair .. and you look just like your picture"
But would he have recognized me if I was wearing a hat?????

But I have meet some that if they didn't tell me what their car looked like... I wouldn't never have guessed it was the same person.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 169
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/28/2015 6:39:56 AM
There are a half dozen local pof guys Ive recognized at my gym. A few have messaged me, but I wasnt interested. None has approached me yet and I hope they dont.
 Anand_scientist
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 170
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/30/2015 3:34:36 AM
I experienced a recent, wondrous event in which I met somebody on POF whom I personally knew and whose present appearance unearthed an epoch of memories of my life that brought me immense joy.
 Simpleshyness
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 171
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/11/2015 6:28:42 AM
I have had this done to me three times. Once at the gas station, once at McDonald's with my daughter, and once at a restaurant on a date. It creeps me out.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 172
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/11/2015 6:32:03 AM
^^^
Nobody's ever flashed me before.

Sorry that happened to you :(
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 173
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/15/2015 10:03:16 AM

There are a half dozen local pof guys Ive recognized at my gym. A few have messaged me, but I wasnt interested. None has approached me yet and I hope they dont.

It's THIS mentality, also shared by...

I have had this done to me three times. Once at the gas station, once at McDonald's with my daughter, and once at a restaurant on a date. It creeps me out.

... THIS one, which is the same. Awkward? Ok. Creeping out thus judging them on a negative level? Talk about the world revolving around oneself! lol

But it's an interesting thing. It's an example, one among many in the 'dating world', where people can be turned off by harmless things and pass negative judgment where there is no wrong. Would make for great entertainment by aliens viewing humans as their own National Geographic reality show. :)
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 174
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/15/2015 10:10:08 AM
If an attractive member of Pof approached me and said " How YOU doin ? " , I guarantee you I wouldn't react in a Stewie Griffin " GASP - how DARE you ! "
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 175
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/15/2015 10:41:06 AM
How YOU doin'?

Can I buy you a drink?
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