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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 165
Should A POF member approach you in public?Page 8 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
The only way I would recognize someone from a POF profile picture in real life is if I saw them holding a mirror in front of them and taking a selfie-especially if they were doing it in the bathroom renovations section of Home Depot.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 166
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/24/2015 10:51:30 AM
^^^and she'd have to be bent over or 3 feet tall so we could get the "down the shirt" view.

"hey, are you on POF? Oh, sorry....your cleavage just looked so familiar, that's all"
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 167
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/24/2015 11:08:01 PM
purplerider

Why would a woman lie about her height? Okay the age and weight thing does happen. But are you sure it was the same woman you had previously messaged?

How do you really handle a first meet that has obviously lied big time? Do you make some excuse and disappear or tell them they lied and leave?
 cookymaker
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 168
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/25/2015 5:41:30 PM
It wasn't a POF person, but I did see a co-worker from a different dating site.
We actually were the only two people in the elevator one day. I was tempted to call him by his USER ID but....
we opted to ride in silence staring at the ceiling.
I often take the stairs now LOL

I have however gone to group get togethers ( yet another dating site) Some people would look at each other not quite sure, others you didn't know who they were until they said their name. Me.. everyone walked up and said "Hi (my name)' When finally about a 4th guy said my name out loud and hugged me, I asked "how come everyone knows its me??" He said " Can't miss that gorgeous head of hair .. and you look just like your picture"
But would he have recognized me if I was wearing a hat?????

But I have meet some that if they didn't tell me what their car looked like... I wouldn't never have guessed it was the same person.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 169
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/28/2015 6:39:56 AM
There are a half dozen local pof guys Ive recognized at my gym. A few have messaged me, but I wasnt interested. None has approached me yet and I hope they dont.
 Anand_scientist
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 170
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 11/30/2015 3:34:36 AM
I experienced a recent, wondrous event in which I met somebody on POF whom I personally knew and whose present appearance unearthed an epoch of memories of my life that brought me immense joy.
 Simpleshyness
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 171
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/11/2015 6:28:42 AM
I have had this done to me three times. Once at the gas station, once at McDonald's with my daughter, and once at a restaurant on a date. It creeps me out.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 172
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/11/2015 6:32:03 AM
^^^
Nobody's ever flashed me before.

Sorry that happened to you :(
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 173
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/15/2015 10:03:16 AM

There are a half dozen local pof guys Ive recognized at my gym. A few have messaged me, but I wasnt interested. None has approached me yet and I hope they dont.

It's THIS mentality, also shared by...

I have had this done to me three times. Once at the gas station, once at McDonald's with my daughter, and once at a restaurant on a date. It creeps me out.

... THIS one, which is the same. Awkward? Ok. Creeping out thus judging them on a negative level? Talk about the world revolving around oneself! lol

But it's an interesting thing. It's an example, one among many in the 'dating world', where people can be turned off by harmless things and pass negative judgment where there is no wrong. Would make for great entertainment by aliens viewing humans as their own National Geographic reality show. :)
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 174
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/15/2015 10:10:08 AM
If an attractive member of Pof approached me and said " How YOU doin ? " , I guarantee you I wouldn't react in a Stewie Griffin " GASP - how DARE you ! "
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 175
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/15/2015 10:41:06 AM
How YOU doin'?

Can I buy you a drink?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 176
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/15/2015 11:22:54 AM

If an attractive member of Pof approached me and said " How YOU doin ? " , I guarantee you I wouldn't react in a Stewie Griffin " GASP - how DARE you ! "

One time a cute girl started convo with me at a bar once... she was saying how she was leaving soon and her friends left, just wanted a little company to chit-chat, etc. She looked familiar. I couldn't put my finger on how I maybe knew her, so I just went along with it. She didn't act like she knew me though. I ended up taking her home crashed in her bed (no sex). I wake up thinking "Where do I know this girl from?"

On her nightstand she had a pic of she and a gal-pal. Her primary photo on POF. Ahhhh. Yeah, she blew me off online, but blew me IRL. She never knew I was the same guy.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 177
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/15/2015 11:26:07 AM
^^^^^ A perfect illustration of the main flaw of online dating :

How often do we pass on people online that we would actually find attractive in real life and how to know the difference ?

For example, I dated a woman who I met in real life and it occurred to me that had I seen her online I would've passed on her . Why ? Because she wasn't the photogenic type. IMO those people need to shine in person or they'll be overlooked by most.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 178
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/15/2015 7:05:35 PM
norwegianguy

the difference is that she had been drinking, right? Why else would she allow you to come to her home and her bed, as a stranger? Did you see her again??

And yes it is true that some people are better in person. Unless we have animated pics up online or do immediate video chat, we are never really going to see people as they are with personality, voice etc..
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 179
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/16/2015 11:26:18 AM
Good question. Would you approach the same person if you didn't know that she was on POF, because if you would, it would seem odd to hamstring yourself simply because you have knowledge of her online profile.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 180
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/16/2015 11:40:37 AM

the difference is that she had been drinking, right? Why else would she allow you to come to her home and her bed, as a stranger? Did you see her again??

She wasn't drunk, actually. But yes, drinking gives people social viscosity to interact and go do more than they normally would if they weren't. But she was a little different, although, she was also on POF, so no surprise there, right? ;) It was a one-thing-led-to-another to end up crashing in her bed, and we talked a long while and clicked. She also saw that I knew the people who worked at the bar, so I guess a sense of security there. Plus, I was actually more tipsy than her, and it was wise I didn't drive home (she lived within a few blocks from that bar, I lived a couple miles away).

Yes, we talked and I did see her again. She still didn't know it was me. I never told her. She ended up being weird/wack -- which I ended up deducing it was because she wasn't over her ex-BF and was fare more in the crazy-rebound phase than she herself realized.

How often do we pass on people online that we would actually find attractive in real life and how to know the difference ?

Yeah, we definitely put on different goggles when it comes to viewing online. It's obvious among people who don't dabble online much, but IMO, it's more subconscious but still there for those who do dabble online a good amount. It's at least a somewhat different gear, a different lens, to some degree. I've met gals IRL thru other people who've been online and looked better IRL than online and vice versa.

In the early 00's, I went to Hawaii and worked cooped up in an office all the time, and went online to a no-name matchmaking site. Had a real cute, older woman who I thought I knew. I figured by that time all fair-skinned white blondes "looked the same" since I was in Hawaii for so long. Anyway, I wrote her, we talked, and we met. I could tell she was Very happy to meet me and really liked me. So sitting at this cozy restaurant, me mentioning I worked at the state office after doing some campaign marketing work when jumping into Hawaii from the midwest, she said "Wait, are you a young Republican?" I said "Nooo," -- then it hit me. I MET her before! She said, "Good! Several months ago, my girlfriend and I were at a bar, and these two young guys came up to us and said they were young Republicans! The guy talking to me was not good looking at all, and republicans turn me off, so me and my friend bolted!"

That guy was me. And it was my friend who said he was going to say we were going to be "Young Representatives" some day -- but the music was loud in the joint. I never told the woman, even though we went out for a couple months or so. I was in my 20s, she was in her 40s. That time, online defeated RL matchmaking. :)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 181
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/16/2015 1:28:19 PM

norwegianguy456
drinking gives people social viscosity to interact and go do more than they normally would if they weren't.

Which, of course, makes me think of the famous (infamous?) Seinfield episode.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-a64OwOYqU


LetitiaLeGrande
And yes it is true that some people are better in person. Unless we have animated pics up online or do immediate video chat, we are never really going to see people as they are with personality, voice etc..

I ran across one woman’s profile, which contained links to videos that she had posted on youtube, something about how to clean / maintain a salt water aquarium. All in all, I thought that was a very good idea. I need to put up some videos on youtube, possibly howto’s for computer problems. Can’t hurt, right? (That was a rhetorical question, please refrain from answering!)
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 182
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/16/2015 1:53:10 PM
I had the opposite; I was at the casino playing blackjack and was at this table where a bunch of people happened to be with a birthday party; we had a blast and one of the people playing did not usually play was really getting into it.

We ended up probably playing for four or so hours... Friendly, no flirtation (but since I don't know how to flirt and don't recognize if someone else is flirting with me there wouldn't have been that anyways LOL), just a really fun night of blackjack

the next week I got an email and it turned out it was one of the people at the blackjack table from the Saturday before. He recognized me on the site as being the woman at the blackjack table who had played with he and his friends and said he really enjoyed how we interacted and wanted to go out for a drink. (ironically now he'd not have been able to do that as he was 16 years younger, but in person he didn't know my age, i didn't know his age; we were just two humans having a blast with friends at a casino).

So the other way around has happened... though a few weeks ago when I was singing I had this person STARE and I could not figure out why (though a lot of people say i resemble someone in particular that they know). He finally came over; and it turns out we'd met like eight years ago when i first was divorced and first time online... i couldn't believe they remembered back that far.
That was a LONG time ago.

it is weird though... when you see someone you recognize online in real life. Sometimes their pics are similar; sometimes very different.

but i don't approach them. It would feel weird.
 peterpancollar
Joined: 12/12/2015
Msg: 183
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/17/2015 11:08:47 AM
I think it's tackless and really very creepy to do that someone. That's happened to me before but it's the reverse: These guys saw me in real life first and then they approached me online and told me they knew where I worked and all that. In a sense, I had already met them but I just did not know it, but on another level, why couldn't they have just talked to me in person instead of going on the internet and sending me a message saying they know me (but I don't know them!)?

I don't understand why guys (I did not say men) don't seem to comprehend that it's weird and creepy to come up to a woman in real life and tell her you spotted her from online and think she's not going to be weirded out by that. Tact is necessary. If you know she's single and looking, just approach her like a person in public and talk to her like a normal human being.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 184
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/17/2015 2:34:09 PM
^^^Talk about contradicting yourself. In the first paragraph , you say: "why couldn't they have just talked to me in person instead of going on the internet and sending me a message ..."
Then in the second paragraph, you say: "...it's weird and creepy to come up to a woman in real life and tell her you spotted her from online..."

Which is it?
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 185
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/17/2015 3:12:07 PM
Several years ago, at a nightclub in Atlanta, I was approached by a man who recognized me from another dating site. I never responded to his first contact message, because according to his profile, he was a teetotaler---consequently, I didn't think we would be a good match. Yet, there he was standing in front of me, drink in hand. Hmm...

Fortunately for me, my date came back from the restroom at that moment and whisked me away, so I didn't have to answer his "Why didn't you respond?" question.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 186
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/19/2015 1:31:09 PM

because according to his profile, he was a teetotaler---consequently, I didn't think we would be a good match. Yet, there he was standing in front of me, drink in hand. Hmm...

It was a good reason (for many) not to respond if they said No to drinking. But to be fair, if it was just the answer to that question, it didn't mean he was lying. Unlike smoking, drinking isn't addict-only, so some people (myself included) will go thru stretches 6 months or longer not drinking -- kind of like a diet, to change things up a bit, etc. Happens when you want to go thru a mild diet/health kick and drink too many beers when going out and you've met some cool gals who hardly drink if at all. Also, some people put "No" when they rarely drink (only on holidays, special events).

But yes, answering a guy's question being "Well, you put you don't drink," would be awkward, because you know what his answer would have been: "Fair enough, that was several years ago. But as you can see, I'm drinking now. Care to dance, babe?!" Of course, even more awkward with your date coming up to you when he says that. :)
 gfe0787
Joined: 12/17/2015
Msg: 187
Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/27/2015 11:40:37 AM
Sure, why not?
But it's important to make the 'hello' brief and friendly/casual. If you want to have a long conversation in the moment and try to force it, that might be awkward.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 188
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/27/2015 2:41:17 PM
Never speak to anyone in public. If possible, use your phone and use emoticons and text speech like "lol, how r u??"
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 189
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Should A POF member approach you in public?
Posted: 12/27/2015 5:18:44 PM

How do you really handle a first meet that has obviously lied big time? Do you make some excuse and disappear or tell them they lied and leave?


Be cordial, and polite. I wouldn't take up a great deal of their time, but I'd say that we're not a match.

I saw one the other day that was a friend of a co-worker. I didn't recognise her at first, but she looked strangely familiar. Once home, I looked her up, and started to see a very poor description of herself. Of course, it was far more flattering than her in real life. It makes me think that some guild the lilly, and are too ashamed to write back if messaged.
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