Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > California  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 James44P
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 73
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
If I see people on my favorites, I try to contact most of them unless they have a really scary profile. I just say thanks; I guess some just want photos, or bookmarkings on someone; It's kind of strange to me too.
 mamasboy069
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 75
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 11/15/2012 7:10:25 PM
iam jus sayen here not replying to any post,men ad u to there fav list hoping u will respond to them afta lookin at there profile an if u dont so b it.He hasnt wasted his time an energy on a long drawnout useless email which in longrun he will get turned down anyways,the majority of women r slugs here an have no intensions of goin out with anyone cause they r already hookedup ,there fishen to c if other men still find em attractive.An i dont believe ppl r doin that much dating off this or any other puter dating site these days.......headin to the beerjoint to have some fun......in person
 ParisInLA
Joined: 7/22/2012
Msg: 76
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 11/27/2012 8:35:18 PM
How about just using the good ol' fashioned social skills and just saying hello? All these "signs" are for guys with no balls---flirt, smile, wink, favorite---just show some strength and email!
 saddestangel7
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 77
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 11/28/2012 12:37:08 AM
They are just sort of "bookmarking" you.
Personally, I feel if someone is really interested they will email.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 78
First Contact - was: Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 11/29/2012 12:22:06 PM
Re: #82 (et. al.) - well, what do you really expect for a first contact message? Granted, you have a longer profile text, but some have none and many alot less. What exactly do you want from someone who doesn't know you at all to say, other than "hi" or some other expression of interest?

Making an expression of interest or attraction is certainly going to be the reason for any first contact message (unless something specific is addressed (e.g. "Do I know you?")). A person really can't say less, but should he/she say more, you'll probably classify them as some psycho. Turning someone away when a "conversation" doesn't get past "hi" is telling them that you're not interested, so why shouldn't they go elsewhere (...then, why are you here in the first place)?

The person to whom I'm specifically replying has stated she's not actively searching, but the question is more generic: What of those who are open to a new relationship? (As a guy,) If all you (women) brush us off when we make contact, what hope does anyone have in finding someone here?

BTW, I found that laying some "one-liner" has no more success than simply saying, "I'm interested" or "I'm attracted."
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 79
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 12/18/2012 9:59:45 PM
Took the words right out of my mouth!
 audioron
Joined: 12/3/2012
Msg: 80
First Contact - was: Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 12/18/2012 11:32:37 PM
I agree with your statement,with respects to the lady who commented on guys having the guts to email them.
Also with respects to the favorite list out of 6 emails sent to ladys who had me on their list only response & it was a no go date wise,the person totally flaked out on me at the last minute.
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 81
First Contact - was: Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 12/18/2012 11:47:48 PM
I've totally been flaked on last minute....but both times have been second dates! No fun either way, never done it to a man, guess I respect people and their too much
 audioron
Joined: 12/3/2012
Msg: 82
First Contact - was: Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 12/19/2012 8:54:34 AM
Ok make tht two first meetups,another lady who I was mssging with suddenly fell off the radar & we were supposed to meet today,no response to two messages sent just sayin hello? Its weird,yet I should have not gotten my hopes up & if she decides to respond at all I will be surprised? Crap ladies if ur not gonna show cause ya found some better deal jst write a person back n say ya cant make the date,use whatever reason,just let us know so we dont trip tht it was something we did that turned you off? Anyway lesson learned.Not gonna bother people who fav'd me,if they wanna chat they can message me too
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 83
First Contact - was: Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 12/19/2012 9:07:39 PM
Yeah it sucks to get blown off like that, totally been there!
 mamasboy069
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 84
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 12/20/2012 10:57:19 AM
message 89.....One messaged me. Nice enough guy but we didn't appear compatible from his profile.

Deb ferget bout the useless profiles an pics get off ur can an go have a beer with em shoot som pool c em in person,,some folks no matter how hard they try cant write a good profile an u wud b surprised at the ppl who Dont take a good pic they look fine in person,,,meetem an get a real look at em geeeees.
 N2H20
Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 86
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/6/2013 4:38:38 PM
After adding a woman to the "list" then sending a message, or vice-versa, why does the woman who does not respond keep herself on my list? One would think she would prefer to not be on the list anymore.

My guess is maybe *maybe* she is in some small way interested. To be fair, I do give those I contact about a week to respond. If she does not respond then I clear my message to her and remove her from my list. After all, why waste anymore of my time on her?
 sun_and_cinnamon
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 87
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/14/2013 4:24:43 PM
I just delete them from now on....although one persistent 'picture-less' profile continues to keep 'bookmarking' me
 mamasboy069
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 88
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/14/2013 5:25:53 PM
thar all married ,shackedup,goofie,er gay here.....aint no real single ones here get use to it,jus sit around an piss an moan like the rest of us here hahaahah............headin to the beer joint at least there real there.its still the best singles site around.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>hows that hope an change workin 4 u>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 Qthekeeper
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 89
view profile
History
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/15/2013 1:37:41 AM
I'm not usually one to post replies on forums. But, I had to toss in my two pennies here...

It amazes me that some women will basically take offense to someone clicking 'add to favorite'. Take a moment to comprehend what that means. FAVORITE. Take it as a compliment. Something about you is interesting to someone else. It's a compliment. Don't take it as a negative.
As has already been said.. many use it as a bookmark.. many use it to find someone they're interested in quickly due to a picture, common interest(s), fish requirements, etc.

Also, it's easy for some of you women to sit back and say how easy it is to "send a quick note". Many say "no one-liners, be original, etc." So, creating personalized message over and over again as your "ice breaker" can take a lot of time. As others have said, taxing. And, after these lengthy, personal messages have been sent... do the recipients respond? Do they even read them? As someone else pointed out, are the messages even sent? Many guys probably lose hope after being ignored repeatedly.

And, for those of you who sit back and call others spinless for not creating your exact requirements of an ice breaker... whether it be click favorite.. a quick hello note... or a lengthy personalized message... is it any wonder why you're searching?
Try having an open mind. Try seeing the best in others before you decide you're in a position to judge them. Let's face it, if a guy fav's you, send a short note, or a long message... YOU have the power to block/ignore them. The interested party is just trying to break the ice. We're all vastly different and have different approaches. An open mind will take you much further than a judgemental one.
 mamasboy069
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 90
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/15/2013 12:42:12 PM
#106

Well thar ya go......now dats puttin da cheese on da cracker .
a favorite is jus a book mark 4 me,it gives me a chance to think iffen i really wanna b stuck with u thru a dinner hahaaha,dat i gotta pay 4 an listen to ur nonsense.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>hows that hope an change workin out 4 u>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 Hard_B
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 91
view profile
History
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/16/2013 5:01:38 PM
I'm in agreement to most of the reason for adding women to favorites here. Especially QtheKeeper's response. that was right on point. It's more or less a bookmark. I browse the different profiles and try to read them all, but I don't always have time to do that at one sitting so I saved them so I can go back and see what they're about. In a way, it's actually a first stage filter. I actually remove them from the favorites list if I send a message. It's not necessarily that I don't like them anymore, it's so I can keep track of who I tried to contact already. For those that respond, I chat with to guage their personality, which is a second stage filter, and then if things click I ask for a phone number. Of course the phone conversation and possible date after can be consider filters too, but I try not to set up too many boundaries between myself and a potential interest.
 Hard_B
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 92
view profile
History
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/16/2013 6:21:33 PM
Oh, by the way. I know I've been off and on POF since I joined, but right now I haven't been added to ANYBODY's favorite list. Yet, I have had several conversations and/or plans to meet up since I've been on POF. I don't know if you should take the "favorites" listing all that seriously.
 mike215215
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 93
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/17/2013 7:47:04 AM
Qthekeeper post 106

Take it as a compliment. Something about you is interesting to someone else. It's a compliment. Don't take it as a negative.


lots of women take offense at a man "looking" at them, when they are NOT interested in him. and in their mind go" euuuhh".... it is akin to a straight man being looked up and down bya a gay man.... the str8 man would go "euuuuw" as well!
But if a woman is interested, she will smile! Simple


Many say "no one-liners, be original, etc."

it's SCREAMING: "you need to impress me", cuz I am worth MORE than you!, cuz I am "WORTH it" .... I am a QUEEN, a DIVA.... I say..... NEXT!

N2H20 post 103

why does the woman who does not respond keep herself on my list?


because one cannot erase themselves from someone else's list! I Asked POF why it is so: "sorry, it is not a feature that is offered at this time".... (maybe for the free account) No let me ask the "upgraded accounts": can one erase him/herself from someone else favorite's list? I'm curious.... cuz sometimes, I would love to delete some of the "beefalos" (buffalo) out of "looks who faved you" list.... sorry just had a gag reflex... same gag reflex, as when I get looked up and down... by another man! lolo
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 94
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/17/2013 1:08:02 PM
RE: ^ - Are you certain? On the list of people's profiles who favorited/bookmarked me, I see a "remove" link at the extreme right. I have a non-paid account, but maybe because I've been here for a while, I have something grandfathered?
 mike215215
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 95
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/19/2013 4:55:38 AM

I see a "remove" link at the extreme right


my bad... I just realized I meant the "user who wants to meet me" list... that one you cannot erase any unwanted individual from it.

I see the people who faved me list, and see the delete button, same goes for the ones I faved list! Where you can delete any one!


I stand (on guard) corrected!
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 96
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 1/19/2013 5:47:56 PM
OK. you are correct that the "meet me" list doesn't have a delete (or refusal) function.
Therefore, there's one less way to get rejected on this site! ;-)
 Onbendedknee1
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 97
Make me one of your Favorites but never send me an email.
Posted: 2/9/2013 9:25:52 PM
I use favorites to haul the ones I might like to deal with in the boat its like a tackle box on pof rather than search through again
Show ALL Forums  > California  >