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 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 3
Methods in healing a broken heartPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Sometimes finding someone new helps..

But.. also knowing it will end(the pain) helps too.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 4
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 1/21/2012 4:44:28 PM
I used to scream and cry and carry on for awhile when I was at your level of experience. And then console my self with the fact that 'there's always another guy around the corner.'

At your age, there usually is, unless your country is at war and all the young men are off in battle.

Yes, thank god you are so imperfect and are comfortable with yourself that you realize that you know its 'him, not you'! Oftentimes, it takes young women awhile to internalize that the flaw is indeed, not within HER, but more in the situation.

Forget the past. Focus in good times in the future.
 AlisVolatPropriis25
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 5
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 1/21/2012 6:46:30 PM
Sorry for your loss. However, holding onto resentment does not enable a person to move on. Feeling hatred and hostility towards them is harming YOU. Holding YOU back. Forgive and you'll be able to let go. Learning to forgive that person and giving up hope that the past could have been different is aiming you towards the right direction in moving on and freeing yourself from the agonizing pain of hurt and rejection.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 6
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 1/22/2012 9:57:43 AM
'
Getting over someone is easy in my world.


Actually that is the thinking the hurts the most. Especially years into the relationship/marriage.

People are not disposable. Be brave. Pick someone that it would be devestating to leave.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 7
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 1/22/2012 10:36:25 AM

If you measure your worth by whom leaves you after a year,


blah blah blah... I've heard it a million times. Don't do that.


I possess the rare gift of being able to look toward the future and knew this time next year my heart would be just fine. And it was. :)


You possess the common gift of not being able to make a commitment.

Don't worry though... I'm not in the position to judge. I've never been married. Haven't found the one where the commitment would last. Or I suck at picking.

Just spare the rationalization that relationships are disposable because you’re emotionally healthy. :)
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 8
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 1/22/2012 11:23:40 AM

Edit: @Viper..I have no words my friend...none at all to ease your pain. :(


haha, I do.

"I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERF*** SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERF*** PLANE!"

 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 9
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 1/22/2012 12:20:51 PM

People imo, aren't reliable long term beyond a few years


ding ding ding.... Thanks for showing my point.

People are not disposable.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 10
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 1/22/2012 1:12:00 PM

Apparently, they are.


I know that it is now common, acceptable, and seems to be more normal than not for people to just leave. That doesn't make it right.

It would be easier to pretend to live like others and just not care any more than for the moment. The carefree life of others.... Haha, that doesn't even exist. Couldn't hardly tell that judging from peoples expectations and profiles.

I've always wanted to live in fairy tale land where everything is perfect and you always get what you want because you deserve it buddy.... Anyone have the map?

Life is hard. Bad things happen. Doing what is right is not safe. Loving someone is not safe. Trusting someone is not safe. Live on the edge like a rockstar :)
 Ccahart1
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 11
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 1/24/2012 8:19:31 AM
Thanks for that coming from a guy after being widowed I realize I have to not let anyone in so easy
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 12
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 1/25/2012 1:46:25 PM
F* the process. It is all BS. You already did the nurse maid part to you heart. Now it basically just being a b*** :)

I'm glad you posted earlier about what your real loss was. You subsequent slip and fall is totally respectable and commendable.

Hope one day I can know what you once believed you had.

That's about the best we can hope for right.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 13
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 1/29/2012 9:19:45 AM
How to get over?

Get under...

Sorry, this is a repeat answer to a repeat question...
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 14
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:25:54 AM

I don't know if that means I'm finally healing, or if I've forgiven her, but I have a lot to think about on the drive back home..


Just a simple thing. "You have control back."

So, now that you have life back under your control. Do something useful. Make some money or something.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 15
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:49:24 AM
Snakeman, I think you did the right thing even if you can't see it now. Plus the good Karma points have to be worth something. You talk about God and Satan in some of your posts. If you believe in that, it was Satan telling you to crush her, and today you turned back towards God's love instead. If you continue down the other path, it's just Satan drawing into his lair. Don't let what this woman did to you, turn yourself into what you hate about her.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 16
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/1/2012 5:04:47 PM
I don't know... sometimes it seems like when things suck... a whole bunch of paragraphs doesn't seem any more than listening to a whole bunch of talk... Sometimes the right answer is... To just “STFU and stop doing that.” :)

Funny thing is that after reading everything above... that’s the basic point.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 17
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/1/2012 7:40:24 PM
I can be defective. I don't mind. My mother called me that often :)
Point taken and accepted of course.

Just sometimes it really is the pedantic language that gets the point a little further then the soothing calm and peaceful approach that makes you want to rip someones head off :)
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 18
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/1/2012 9:11:18 PM
If truth is no: no
If truth is yes: sometimes - you didn't end willingly

It is also a terrible question but there is a right to know
 tee2us
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 19
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/1/2012 9:39:19 PM
I am finding that making a list of the things he did for me/our relationship. Then keep reminding myself what out weighs what!! It just wasn't meant to be.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 20
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/7/2012 4:21:36 PM
I jog....to burn off excess energy that could go into wallowing.
It gives me the illusion of doing something about it.
(when I really can't).

I meditate daily.
And in doing so I may feel the pain intensely.
But it passes.
Same as any other phenomena.
It is trying to repress or push away pain that makes
it linger and hurt...well...for as long as you try to keep at it.

I also get out and hang with folks I know.
Or family. To keep me from dwelling on past things.

Email the cuties in here....when bored and feeling wordy.
Sometimes I get a reply and sometimes a new adventure opens up.

If you got good coping skills,
however any adventure goes...
you'll be OK.
 sparrowtw
Joined: 1/24/2012
Msg: 21
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/9/2012 10:20:18 PM
People change sometimes but it doesn't happen over night then suddenly you don't know this person you've been with for years. It is quite a shock when that happens. I've been there and don't want to around my ex unless absolutely necessary. They change themselves and grow away from the person they marry and I don't need someone like that.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 22
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/10/2012 9:54:16 AM
Viper1E, I truly hope and pray you find the peace you want and find a way to heal the gaping wound in your chest. The one where she ripped your heart out and stomped on it. You never forget, but have to find a way to forgive or it will never truly heal. Here's a cyber hug from one broken heart to another.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 23
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/11/2012 8:09:48 PM

Its sad and I hate feeling hate.. but this is how i feel about my ex. I hope somebody rips out his heart and stomps on it the way he did me. I hope he finds a girl hed give anything to ready to commit for life, only to hear one day she never really loved him. Honestly it would make me happy for him to feel even half the pain he has made me feel


Man, I read that from CK, and then Viper's ongoing posts... and I have to wonder, wtf use is it in your lives to still let them have so much damn control over your life, *still*, long after its over? Because that's all your really doing - tainting your future for the sake of holding onto the past.

Let it go, move on. Love and Hate are two sides of the same coin - you're still "emotionally enmeshed" in it if you can't let go of it - the opposite of both is *indifference*. I don't hate any of my ex's, and I might even be 'sociable' if I ran into them somewhere - I'm pretty much indifferent, they're my past, not part of my present, and I want to keep it that way.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 24
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/12/2012 10:56:22 AM
Viper1E, I'm truly sadden by your tale. It may take years to recover from what this woman did to you, if you ever can. I'm at a loss, have no answers for your questions. I can only say I hope you can find the peace you're searching for.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 25
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Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/12/2012 11:30:29 AM

have no answers for your questions

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAJ95kn4Xm4


"Get Up!!"
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 26
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/12/2012 12:47:49 PM

ujmik:
Let's face it Ladies 95% of MEN are all THE SAME ! There is some out there they say, but the only thing is that all the good ones are taken. I am still looking.................


If you truly believe this, then that's says more about yourself, than you are probably willing to admit to yourself. 95% of the MEN, what have you met, maybe .000000000001% of the men 'out there'.

All I can say to the men out there, is......"Run Forrest Run".
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 28
Methods in healing a broken heart
Posted: 2/14/2012 5:06:26 PM

kristisha:
the only way to forget about your ex is to...find another man quick


All that does is start you down the path to another heartbreak. You can go on bouncing from man to man or woman to woman, but in the end it doesn't help. You have to cleanse and renew your heart before you're ready for another. But kristisha, you're hot and if you think a rebound hump would help, I'm here to help ya.
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