Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why is it so hard for single moms to date?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Brave_one
Joined: 6/26/2015
Msg: 51
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

*waits for my medal


Consider it done !
And as for the ladies in the past I have dated, for those who bore that single brunt, in raising young children into be successful adults, ..... I would be remiss not to nominated them also for ‘’mom of the year’’ for being the key, to such a successful & monumental task award....


it takes two parents to bring up a child

Really ? And as we all know even with many two adult parent families, there was times like more so then not,that only one was ever present in day to day events was who??? lol

Will also say it take ,’’a village in raising then young ones too.’’ thanks to all my neighbors, aunts uncles,teachers,authorities, etc etc etc...


And that goes for the Mr. Moms as well out there.....hats off
 fordssucklol
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 52
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 8/20/2015 12:52:27 PM
its so hard to date wit kids, wen my kids were small I had no time, work n home wit my kids, that's all , now theyre all gone n I don't know wat to do , no shit!! weird
 Greeneyes7766
Joined: 5/4/2015
Msg: 53
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 8/25/2015 7:52:38 AM
Guess it depends on the guy too & how involved, flexible & available they make themselves.
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 54
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 9/7/2015 8:43:56 PM
as a single mother and a graduate student and an employee ..well I can only divide hours of day up so many times til I run out. Could I make time if it were someone special? yes but then again I think as a parent I carefully consider someone before allowing them into our lives.
 bobbycllhn
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 55
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 10/19/2015 4:22:03 PM
Ask yourself. What kind of loser specifically targets single moms?
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 10/21/2015 6:02:30 PM
cuz i have to sneak out at midnight and be in by six... which will generally exhaust any working man, lol
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 57
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 11/25/2015 11:47:56 AM


Just keep in mind most single moms arent single by accident.

Correct.

A lot of the time, the deadbeat daddy has done a 'hit and run' and has left it to the woman - and society - to shoulder his financial responsibility FOR him.


My experience has been different. I find that many single mothers were selfish and used a guy to get the kids, then find a reason to dump the guy.

How does a 'hit and run' situation justify anything? Was birth control not used? Why not?
Also, how many 'hit and runs' occur with married couples? Maybe the problem is that too many people think it is acceptable to be a single parent by choice. If you aren't married, don't have kids! Even then, most shouldn't, because they got married for the wrong reasons, and it won't last. It ultimately affects the children's lives negatively.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 58
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 11/25/2015 11:52:54 AM
" I find that many single mothers were selfish and used a guy to get the kids, then find a reason to dump the guy. "







You just reminded me of a woman I dated who had 2 kids. Her and her ex fought like cats and dogs all the time apparently ( I was treated to the play by play after almost every battle, lucky me ).

I'll never forget when she informed me that they fought like this before they even had kids . I asked why she would have kids with someone she didn't even get along with ?


....she shrugged .
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 59
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 11/25/2015 12:02:22 PM

I asked why she would have kids with someone she didn't even get along with ?


That's my experience - women that will ignore multiple red flags that the rest of the world can see plain as day, and trick themselves into thinking that the guy is a good choice, when it was so painfully clear that they should never have been together in the first place. They also seem to double down on stupid instead of getting out when the holes in the relationship become impossible to hide.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 60
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 11/25/2015 12:06:49 PM
"women that will ignore multiple red flags that the rest of the world can see plain as day, and trick themselves into thinking that the guy is a good choice, when it was so painfully clear that they should never have been together in the first place. "





She didn't ignore or trick herself - she wanted kids PERIOD. She knew the relationship was going to fail but she needed him for his sperm FIRST.

( I got to know her well enough eventually to translate the shrug )
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 11/25/2015 12:12:40 PM

She didn't ignore or trick herself - she wanted kids PERIOD. She knew the relationship was going to fail but she needed him for his sperm FIRST.


That's the most egregious example. I was being kind, but yes, the idea is that many women will do whatever is necessary to get what they want, everyone else be damned!
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 62
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/1/2015 1:35:54 PM
This question has been asked and answered about several hundred times....why not some new or maybe not so new questions.

Why do people with kids want to date people without kids since there is obviously a difference in lifestyles and schedules,and to some degree philosophies and perceptions of life ?

Why do people with kids waste their time complaining about people without kids that don't want to date them ?

Why do people with kids not understand that another person may not want to share the responsbility you bear ?

Why do people with kids realize its not that appealing to be presented with a list of people that can often include inlaws and even the ex in addition to the children whos approval you have to win in addition to your approval,thats alot of work and you may not be worth it to them.

Why do people with kids not seem to understand that we all make choices and most of us only want to reap the consequences of the choices we make and not others, not good,bad or indifferent it just is.

If one wants to call someone a better man or woman for taking on the responsibility of somebody else's children do so,but there is no need to disparage or belittle those who decide not to,would you want such a person around your children anyway.
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 63
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/1/2015 7:07:55 PM
Yep.

Here is an except of a post in a different forum.


I also am divorced and child free and would prefer to meet someone the same or with adult and independent children.
The two men who have been most in my life since my divorce both had children.
The kids were not the reason the relationships did not work out but they did not help.
Certainly made things much more complex.

If anyone want to have children, educate them and bring them up to be good, responsible adults then that is great.
Just do not expect me to have to do all of that for you.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 64
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/2/2015 2:15:49 AM
are not looks part of the chemistry? Why would you make such a statement anyway. I cant imagine anyone dating anyone for long who does not have any sort of personality and single mothers would be no exception.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 65
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/2/2015 2:18:22 AM
these days women can choose whether they want to have kids or not and some make a conscious choice not to.
I see plenty of women with children who have issues, abuse and neglect them and we are not all here just to breed nor are women somehow strange if they choose not to be mothers. Very narrow thinking.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 66
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/2/2015 6:20:13 AM

Why do people with kids want to date people without kids since there is obviously a difference in lifestyles and schedules,and to some degree philosophies and perceptions of life ?


Often it is for the resources that the new person brings.


Why do people with kids not understand that another person may not want to share the responsbility you bear ?


Because they are selfish and focused on the resources.


Why do people with kids realize its not that appealing to be presented with a list of people that can often include inlaws and even the ex in addition to the children whos approval you have to win in addition to your approval,thats alot of work and you may not be worth it to them.?


Yep. I've been burned by the completely insane and nonsensical judgements of an inlaw, as it related to my partners kids. I also resent the fact that you can't mention an ex, but are expected to accept the fact that her ex is always in the picture.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 67
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/10/2015 7:54:07 AM

as a single mother and a graduate student and an employee ..well I can only divide hours of day up so many times til I run out. Could I make time if it were someone special? yes but then again I think as a parent I carefully consider someone before allowing them into our lives.


Amen, I feel the same, only I don't go to school (yet - I will next fall though). I do have enough time for myself, as I only work 28 hours a week. A lot of that time is spent with my kids, on myself (exercising, reading), and with my friends (waves at Jessebunnies). If I meet someone who interests me, I will find the time to see him, but spending a whole weekend with them would not work for me. I love and need my "me time", I enjoy being alone, and I would feel suffocated if someone wanted too much of my time. I could have gone out last weekend, but I decided to stay at home and bake with my daughter. If I didn't have kids, sure, it would be much easier to go out and date, but I'm glad I have them and they come before any man.
 christiangirl19
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 68
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/14/2015 11:50:06 AM
My biggest fear is that my child will become attached to whomever I'm dating and be devastated when they leave. I can't speak for all single moms, but if they are like me, then they are simply trying to look out for the child. I recently dated a guy for almost a year, my son loved him to death. Then one day, out of the blue, he left. never said goodbye to my son or explained to him why he was leaving. Broke my son's heart and he still asks about him, almost 6 months later. I have yet to start dating again because I'm afraid of this happening again.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/14/2015 10:36:04 PM

Broke my son's heart and he still asks about him, almost 6 months later. I have yet to start dating again because I'm afraid of this happening again.

Who is really the heartbroken one? Kids are amazingly resilient. A three year old may not fully understand the concept of love or a long term relationship - so by the same token, he's not going to be scarred emotionally for life because he notices someone is gone. That's YOUR pain, YOUR fear - more than the kid. Don't let fear make your choices for you.

Some parents have a set period of time for vetting out any new relationship before allowing the kids to participate in it. I think that buffer of time is as much for the parents' peace of mind as it is for the kid(s). I think it makes sense in any relationship, kids or not, to not invest emotionally in the other person too soon. Where that time line should be drawn is different in every circumstance.

What I find stupid about some single parents is the idea they can live a double life, where kids are never even mentioned during a date and vise versa. You're never going to be able to completely wall in or wall out both sides of being a parent and a partner, and there's going to need to be a time when the two eventually meet. Pretending the other doesn't exist isn't being protective, it's a stupid grasp of control.
 pro100pk2
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 70
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/16/2015 12:13:26 AM
I agree with you completely
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 71
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/18/2015 11:07:10 AM
I'm not worried at all that my kids would be "heart broken" over a guy I dated and it ended. The same can (and has happened) when you have a fall-out with a female friend. In my case, my kids were good friends with her kids (best friends even), and then their mother and I had a HUGE fallout and of course that put a halt to our kids hanging out. I never told them to stop playing with them, but since their mom and I used to be BFFs and hang out a lot, that didn't happen anymore and the kids , due to physical distance, just didn't get to play as much anymore, and eventually, it totally stopped. This really hurt me and them, but goes to show that it can happen with ANY relationship.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 72
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/18/2015 10:45:13 PM
^^^

Now you have to explain why you had a falling out, otherwise it leaves me to speculate. And that's just not a very humane thing to do
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 73
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/20/2015 10:23:31 PM
She stabbed me in the back and blabbed out things about me that I had told her in strict confidence. The person to whom she blabbed even showed me their text conversation, so there was no doubt it happened. That was the end of it right there.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 74
view profile
History
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/21/2015 2:31:54 AM
what sort of a best friend betrays someone the way that you say yours did, Karma. You are better off without such a "best friend". Not to mention the nature of the person who betrayed her and showed you the text. This all sounds like schoolyard stuff.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 75
Why is it so hard for single moms to date?
Posted: 12/22/2015 10:22:39 PM
what sort of a best friend betrays someone the way that you say yours did, Karma. You are better off without such a "best friend". Not to mention the nature of the person who betrayed her and showed you the text. This all sounds like schoolyard stuff.

---
What can I say, I attract crazy people all the time. In that case, our kids became friends first and that's how I met her. We became friends due to hanging out a lot. We were really good friends for 4 years, I never thought she would pull something like that. But it's OK, she was toxic, and my life has been a whole lot less dramatic without her.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why is it so hard for single moms to date?