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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Standards, Preferences and other foolishness      Home login  
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 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 67
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Standards, Preferences and other foolishnessPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
“Hawking what always bemuses me is that attractive intelligent people feel they will succeed on sites like this, free and full of fakes and flakes and will persist for years. What are they looking for?? Women in particular who have it all going on dont have to be here or similar sites...”

I agree that “women who have it all going on” don’t stay on dating websites for any extended period of time. “men who have it all going on” often don’t have relationship motives so they may continue on OLD indefinitely, piling up conquests, but few women think that way. The women that fall into that “have it all going on” do tend to just drop in and quickly drop out, either because they’re great catches and meet a great guy really fast, or they quickly discover that OLD (or POF specifically) is a terrible experience for them. That’s why guys who “don’t have it all going on” have to be highly persistent on these things: great women are fleeting and if you drop out for a month, you might miss that 2 week window the love of your life was on there. Personally, I’m still actively involved on the dating site after 11 years (EGADS) because... why not? What else am I going to do while killing time during lazy spells at work? I’m a realist. I know at this point anything I do on this site is 99.9% chance of failure. But doing absolutely nothing is 100% chance of failure.

Whenever I have the upgrade (like I do currently), I’m always surprised to discover just how long some women have been on this site. I go through thousands of profiles every year, so it’s not like I’m going to remember most women I contacted from 2014. So there have been multiple times lately that I’ll come across a seemingly awesome woman’s profile and prepare to message her, then discover that I already messaged her, 3 or 4 years ago, or that she looked at my profile back in 2015. And I’ll be like... what the hell is THIS woman still doing on this site? And that’s when you realize that “awesome woman” is likely a very serious flake. I mean, it’s not a mere matter of her being on the site 3 or 4 years later, but of her CONTINUOUSLY being on the site for 3 or 4 years. Everybody “normal” will likely eventually meet someone, then delete their profiles and disappear for a few months/years/whatever, then maybe breakup and return with a new profile to find somebody new. But to be an attractive woman with it “all going on” and on here continuously with the same profile for years suggests that maybe said-woman doesn’t have it “all going on” and is missing something. In her head, that is.

All forums-regulars excluded from above paragraph. Because quite frankly, I don’t think any forum regular (besides myself and maybe ohenry) is actually seeking dates with his/her profile, so being here continuously with the same profile for 5-10 years is meaningless for them. Which is not to say there isn’t something wrong in the head with most forum regulars.
 forumzfishonly
Joined: 12/17/2017
Msg: 68
Standards, Preferences and other foolishness
Posted: 1/7/2018 4:39:42 PM

sussex11 wrote in part:
I read once: We don't get what we want, we get what we are.

Sounds like whoever wrote it was trying to be profound

Probably some dude who ended up attracting a tranny...:0 shudder!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 69
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Standards, Preferences and other foolishness
Posted: 1/8/2018 1:38:46 AM

I agree that “women who have it all going on” don’t stay on dating websites for any extended period of time.

I don't agree with that, though. Some working women who are good catches are like guys, hold a high requirement to get tied down, and like to be single & dating. But I'll more agree with you if they've active on pretty much forever... and not more-or-less active for a good while, then fizzling away... then a long while later seeing them on again for an extended period. Not to say the great catches also won't be taken in a relatively short period of time -- but when gone real quick, there's a much better chance they got scared off (or were just playing around on it).

That’s why guys who “don’t have it all going on” have to be highly persistent on these things: great women are fleeting and if you drop out for a month, you might miss that 2 week window the love of your life was on there.

I agree that guys have to be more persistent, but I think when you Do get out there in the dating field and stuff, you find it's not Mars & Venus: Don't follow what female friends say about what girls End up doing. :) Many gals, notably city career gals, are a lot more like guys than we're led to believe (by parents, female friends, etc). Not as crude as guys usually of course.

What else am I going to do while killing time during lazy spells at work? I’m a realist. I know at this point anything I do on this site is 99.9% chance of failure.

Then do something Different. Go on Bumble, btw. Has older women than Tinder and it's more relationship-oriented. Gals write YOU first. And you don't have to put height down either. Also -- what else are you going to do? Do something Different, if there's a 99.9% chance of failure in what you're doing... even if it's failure rate still seems high.

I’ll come across a seemingly awesome woman’s profile and prepare to message her, then discover that I already messaged her, 3 or 4 years ago, or that she looked at my profile back in 2015. And I’ll be like... what the hell is THIS woman still doing on this site?

Maybe she came back after she broke up with her BF, and she never deleted her profile like many don't (but goes into zombie mode).

But to be an attractive woman with it “all going on” and on here continuously with the same profile for years suggests that maybe said-woman doesn’t have it “all going on” and is missing something. In her head, that is.

Good chance of that. Or situationally + not really looking for an LTR, no matter what they put in their profile. If/when you Do start meeting gals, you realize what they say they're "looking for" in their profile is not necessarily the case IRL. :)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 70
Standards, Preferences and other foolishness
Posted: 1/8/2018 6:10:52 AM
"we don't get what we want, we get what we are"

>>ask a person who wants to live in a mansion, what they really live in. Or who wants a Ferrari or a Mercedes, what they really drive. That's what they are willing to work for, sacrifice for, to have. Or maybe they were born with the brains or drive or inheritance or whatever else it took to get that material thing.

I know, that's going to ruffle some feathers :) but we do make some choices in life.
 legitgenuine77
Joined: 1/5/2018
Msg: 71
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Standards, Preferences and other foolishness
Posted: 1/9/2018 11:42:07 AM
personally and realistically women and people and general just need to grow up and stop living their high school college life styles and really pay close attention to what truly is more important out of life to end up being happy.. for exsample
GREED VS LOVE
PASSION VS SHALLOW
 legitgenuine77
Joined: 1/5/2018
Msg: 72
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Standards, Preferences and other foolishness
Posted: 1/9/2018 12:36:52 PM
and second thing i wanted to point out is
the main majority of reason why women are still on the site is not because of forgotten to delete their accounts it mainly because they want to secretly keep it active incase a dumper needs to be done ( those who i personally call are a players heart breakers ) go figure and that a no brainer
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