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 0123kurt64
Joined: 12/31/2012
Msg: 48
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Broken, and emotionally unavailable womenPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Wow, bro I was searching for an answer and your thread was so revealing. Like you I am in health care and my best friend refers to me as the White Knight. I see girls who need rescuing but they are poison. They are either emotionally unavalilable (BPD) or broken hearts that are not ready for a relationship. Thats about it one or the other. I see them and slowly I reveal their distress, but by then I am emotionally involved and think I can help. WTH?? I read the link for www.shrink4men.com and agree totally, never really put a name on it but its classic and I am 2x your age.
My latest is a 34 year old mother of 3. 2 years out of her divorce. Seems ok right, well we start out slow, 2 weeks of no sex meet cuddle, etc she tells me she cheated on her husband ( thats ok I think you didnt love him and were unhappy (excuse)). That she had 2 loves in her life and still loves one. But the one is no longer in the picture and I dont have to worry. LMAO. I should have bolted then and there but I didnt cause I thought she was telling me the truth. BUT I dont think so. any input from the gallery here would be respected. So I helped her move out of her house. During that period she texted me and said I was too in to her and she didnt want that as she couldnt. Stupid me said lets be friends. Well we started back up and I finished helping her move, by now we were having sex. Interesting thing was she was tellling me internal secrets like, I have thought about giving up my kids but they need their mother, She still loved this guy but wanted to let go but would talk about her sex with him songs, good sex, comparing etc, hey she was being honest. :/ So christmas passes I am Santa picking up toys/gifts, meet her family, family seems very happy with me. Tell her treat me good cause I am a nice guy. She tells me this later ( I realize now it was a warning) . So we hang out a couple more times, her asking me to be there, Sex cuddling movie, etc. She texts me while I am asleep saying we have to talk about us, I cant sleep call her and ask WTF, she say I am like her ex clingy and controlling ( I had my smart phone alert me to her on facebook and such but I do that for all my close friends) ( I left her three notes in her apt so that she would find them at separate times, which she did, she found it creepy) I said so I should'nt feel close to you ?? Christmas with your family, Christmas wtih your kids, Your mom and dad inviting us on holiday.... I was like wtf. I am to clingy? YOU INVITED me to all that not the other way around, her response is I cant change what happened. So suffice to say I got blocked on facebook, yes I was posting stuff but about me not about her. How repeating mistakes is stupid in a humorous way cause my friends told me it was stupid but I did it. So here I sit revealing myself to you.
PLEASE my friend realize the pattern, look at all the warnings, look at what was there. THEY tell us and we think we can help we can not. We need to realize and not make excuses for behavior, holding us responsible for our own thoughts. What is their problem and what is our problems. Some of the people have been spot on with that observation. I wish you luck make the change cause they cannot.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 50
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Broken, and emotionally unavailable women
Posted: 1/3/2013 4:04:23 PM
If you want to try and help people/women go to college and become a real physiotherapist.

However, before you decide to enroll in college, you might go see a therapist yourself. You might find out that it's all in your head.

Good Luck with treatment.
Jan
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 51
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Broken, and emotionally unavailable women
Posted: 1/3/2013 4:15:54 PM
"Broken, and emotionally unavailable men" Would someone please start the thread, please. I'm too tired tonight. lol
 premed10
Joined: 10/24/2009
Msg: 52
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Broken, and emotionally unavailable women
Posted: 9/5/2013 5:58:05 AM
Oh no I just realized I do this too. In college, I dated a girl and I would say to myself "she is so smart and has so much potential, but why is she so lazy and doesn't have her priorities straight?" She would fail classes, avoid studying, and turn to religion ( I hate religion) as her crutch. I tried to make my priorities her priorities, in the end it didn't work out. But yeah, my mom is emotionally unavailable, a lot of the girls I dated have been too. I blame myself for continuing the pattern.
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 53
Broken, and emotionally unavailable women
Posted: 9/5/2013 10:49:59 AM
Its you OP...low self esteem.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 54
Broken, and emotionally unavailable women
Posted: 9/5/2013 5:06:09 PM

But yeah, my mom is emotionally unavailable, a lot of the girls I dated have been too. I blame myself for continuing the pattern.

It's good you blame yourself as the OP should too. I think your mom being emotionally unavailable made you not turned off to the notion of being emotionally unavailable, where otherwise it usually would... so if she's real cute and all, you'll be more apt to chase it than the next guy in your league.

To those who end up always getting caught up with girls with emotional problems, being wishy-washy, playing tons of games, etc -- you're going for girls out of your league. You don't think they are, because, well, you have hooked up with some before and have dated some before. You're not going to lower your bar, right?? :)

Thing is, average Joes are going to have Much better chances at girls out of their league who have a lot of emotional problems than girls out of their league who don't. It will give the illusion that you're "in the game" with girls of that league, when really, there's an asterisk(*) next to it.

Not to say one can't get a girl out of their league who's (emotionally/psychologically) normal. IMO, this is best done when you're in an environment where you're a demographic match and that's not so easy to come by. For instance, a nerd-super-smart-comic-con type in southern Illinois farm country is going to have a horrible failure rate, where going to a great college on the east coast will bring him a Much better one, when it comes to girls out of his league in looks.
 Pattytaxi
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 55
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Broken, and emotionally unavailable women
Posted: 9/5/2013 9:14:38 PM
Interesting how I have such a hard time finding an honest "really wants a relationship guy" when I have no crap . No kids living with me. Could move anywhere.
Just myself and my dog. I'm getting tired of bullshit. I can play .. But I'm tired of it! Maybe it's better to be alone.
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