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Joined: 12/10/2009
Msg: 42
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Dating DilemmaPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Okay so I need to clarify a few things on my post..and give update.

The biggest reason we don't see each other during the week, is because I work full-time and I am in school full time. So most of my week nights are taken, plus alot of my time on the weekends involves homework.
I think the reason I didn't leave is because as I said I was stunned, it was so against his character I had come to know. Looking back now, I wish I had left immediately.
I have called him out on the internet browsing and while he won't admit it, he did apologize for "hurting" me and that it was never his intention.
I also told him that what he did was not okay with me, but was willing to forgive, BUT that if seeing each other was to continue I wanted the exclusive, I think after 2 months that was not being unreasonable.
The long and short of it, he wants his cake and eat it too, so we are done.
I know there are some of you that think I was a fool to cut him some slack, but I do believe most people do deserve a second chance in some instances, and after several conversations with a couple of close friends, they agreed. Since it is hard to convey on here everything in the last 2 months. I really felt he deserved it. But as I wrote he doesnt want to be exclusive, so his loss.
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 43
Dating Dilemma
Posted: 2/2/2012 6:59:07 AM
yeah..but u do this before u bang him..or after?/lol
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 44
Dating Dilemma
Posted: 2/2/2012 8:12:24 AM
Sorry...You absolutely did the right thing by bringing it up and communicating.
He expressed what he was willing to do at this point as you did and a choice was made.
Doesn't make it any better...I know!
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 45
Dating Dilemma
Posted: 2/2/2012 8:57:10 AM
As I said earlier, it’s entirely plausible that “…he was checking his emails, and some of the emails take you directly to the site.” (- op) And clicking on a hot-link to see who has sent a message or ‘fav’-ed him is completely understandable. You’ve told us twice that the browsing was out of character, and I tend to believe that’s true. But it was hurtful to see when you got out of bed and I wonder if you gave his explanation a fair hearing.

Being ‘willing to forgive’ him is in effect finding him guilty. Following that with an ‘exclusive or not’ ultimatum may have seemed a bit high-handed.

It’s not unreasonable to want sexual exclusivity. And having that discussion with him after you'd cleared the air, when you were both cool-headed and getting on well might have yielded different results. But you were probably both feeling hurt and angry, and the timing of the discussion would have made the offer seem punitive and controlling. Not to mention unattractive.

Exclusivity might have been negotiable if the matter had been raised in another way. Or maybe not.
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 46
Dating Dilemma
Posted: 2/2/2012 1:41:51 PM
Probably addicted to pornography.
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