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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?      Home login  
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 Outdoorsy1974
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 51
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I read the article. It was interesting, and cited "harry and charlotte" (YES - I KNOW - Fiction/entertianment/TV) as the example. Had she "dated" him on a blind date one would have been it. he was NOT her type. Rather he was the chubby bald unmannered unclassy lawyer who was helping her get out of her marraige to the man she had thought was her "knight" but turned out to be a dud.

Because she had to spend time with him, she got to know him and fell madly in love and despite her internal arguments that he was NOT HIM she wound up marrying him. He adored her yet "kept her in line" by not being a doormat.

But no, I can't see going on 6 "real" dates to discover this. They didn't "date" it was just time spent with no romantic tones.

Moral of the article though was "loook at harry and charlotte" lol and don't let first impressions rule your life.
 Outdoorsy1974
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 52
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/13/2012 8:18:25 AM
Whoops - Harry and Charlotte - From Sex and the City lol
 lacalli
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 53
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/13/2012 8:35:08 AM
I never heard of the 6 day rule (is that related to the Six Day War?) but I have many times heard of the 3 day rule and in fact I follow it to the letter. If I date a guy and he doesn't put out after 3 dates, he's history.
 09HopeCopy
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 54
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/13/2012 6:42:25 PM
you should know bu two or three. I'm a firm believer going into exclusive dating by date four.
Years ago, I ended up with a hot second date that went way to long and far. I was all about getting more, but I couldn't get her on the telephone (early eighties). No biggy, I knew where she worked and two days later I went to find her. On the way I stopped at a friend's house. In the middle of a conversation she stepped out of his bedroom in a robe. Well I was somewhat taken back, but as the way things where, I hadn't really formed a lusty bond and was able to walk away without a gnawing resentment. I saw her quite a few times before she moved on from my friend. He got the psychological 'dumps', not I.
If you are sport dating,you should be at your objective by 4 to 6 or you'll have built up to much trust and expectation. If they are long dates, like over night or over 5 hours, better count them as 1.5 to 2 dates.
 twelfth_dimension
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 55
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/14/2012 2:28:36 PM
I usually know after date 2 or 3 whether or not I want to continue dating them or not. Date 1 establishes whether there is an attraction or not, then a couple more to feel out their personality, character, and values. I definitely wouldn't want to suffer through 6 dates with someone I didn't feel sufficient connection with in order to come to the inevitable conclusion that we just didn't mesh. However, I probably wouldn't know at this point whether a relationship was on the horizon or not (i.e. whether or not I wanted to sleep with them). I think that might take about 6 or so dates. So, depending on what you mean by "match" (dating or relationship) -- the 6 date rule may be pretty accurate.
 cracklinrose
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 56
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/16/2012 1:56:34 AM
I can tell on the very first date if there's chemistry. If I don't feel any attraction, I let them know that I don't feel any chemistry and I'm gonna keep looking. I can't go out with someone six times if I don't feel an attraction! And I've never heard of this six date rule. I wouldn't use it.
 actionfigure
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 57
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Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/16/2012 9:20:31 AM
I don't think there are any hard and fast rules for dating. You might find the chemistry overwhelming on the first date, or it might hit you months later. The stability-driven mind might think one thing, but the emotion-driven heart often thinks another.

I think you should have a pretty good picture of someone after three dates. This amount of time together gives them the opportunity to let you know a little about who they are and how theythink and function in a social setting.

You can save yourself some time by critical inspection of their profile and exchange of email and/or text messages.
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 58
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Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/16/2012 12:50:53 PM
I would know at the first date if I liked them as a person or not. If not, that would be the last date. If I liked them as a person but didn't feel much chemistry, I'd see them again for a second date. If, after that, I knew I didn't feel that way about them, I'd have to leave it as friends or not meet at all, but it's only fair to let them know somehow. Waiting up to six dates to see seems weird to me. Instinct should tell you what you need to know about attraction, not the number of dates.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 59
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/16/2012 9:54:06 PM
I dont go by anyones dating rules.
I used to read all the books...they work..
but not always with the right people.
in other words..the strategies can work..
but why would you want them to with the wrong person.?

I give it all up..I am just waiting to meet the right ONE.
 risingmist
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 60
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/17/2012 6:18:41 PM
I always wonder what to do at the end of the first date, wondering how and where you announce you'd like to get together again. My last several dates were pleasant yet at the end no one said anything. Who follows up if interested and how? In person or email? Phone?

Regarding six dates, my last true love and I made out after a month or so but sex didn't come until months later, when we took a weekend together. I liked him enough to wait. It was he who was shy. Later he told me while in a bad marriage he hadn't had sex for 16 years!

I think if you are hanging out watching a dvd at someones place, that is a nice option to decide to try sex. Or what I truly miss, being held. Unfortunately no one who ever offered to just cuddle or held stopped there. Then it is wrestling match or worse.

Twice after a few dates I have been invited to mens homes to share dinner and a movie. When they serve wine they say I am welcome to crash on the couch to avoid a DUI. Each time I woke up to find them standing over me just staring (I had all my clothes on of course). I pretended to be asleep but was wierded out. Another man was the picture of decorum, made me dinner, played me musico his quitar and at midnight I said I was too tired to drive home safely. He had a four bedroom house but I dozed off on the couch after he'd gone to finish the kitchen or something. I woke to find him crawling very slowly up my body, actually trying to "get some" from a sleeping women. So no more dinners at home until I get to know someone.
 risingmist
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 61
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/17/2012 6:26:16 PM
Exclusive dating after the worth date? This is like the nasty job recruiter who demands to know who else your interviewing with, before you have even met. Most people date or talk to more than on person at a time. It sounds like a severe control issue.

I think adults can tell if they really like another person to let the others go, but rules applied in 4 dates is a control nightmare.

Another great love of my life was extracting himself from a very difficult and emotionally draining relationship and so was I, when we met. Due to the emotionality in both our lives, we enjoyed spending time together for over a month before one afternoon it just happened. Humans are human beings not robots!
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 62
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/17/2012 6:36:47 PM

Three is the number. This is the way it's done. Try some other number if you want but don't come cryin' to me…


how can you possible know a person enough to sleep with them on the 3rd date?? I mean if you are looking for nothing but sex WHO needs the other 2 dates??
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 63
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/20/2012 12:51:12 PM
If there's an attraction, then I think you have a point. If there's no attraction, then I don't go out w/him again. I went out w/a guy on date 2, hoping I would find a spark w/him, but no, I was right on date 1.
At least you've gotten to know him by date 6, & you know if at some point you want to take things to another level.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 64
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/21/2012 8:44:23 AM
I don't believe that there should be "rules" in dating - at least none worth following.

Guidelines, yes, and those have to be discovered for oneself by trial and error. Some people can tell right away if there's enough attraction to get through the initial meeting to date # 1 and then on to date # 2. Other people take longer to discover the process. You gotta learn from your own mistakes to find out what's right/what works for you, and to keep i mind that your date may be on a different wavelength.

(Judging by the drama on these forums, some folks are so happy to be dating at all that they never decide whether or not there's any attraction - they'll put up with anything just to have a "relationship".)
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 65
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/21/2012 8:46:31 AM



Three is the number. This is the way it's done. Try some other number if you want but don't come cryin' to me…


how can you possible know a person enough to sleep with them on the 3rd date?? I mean if you are looking for nothing but sex WHO needs the other 2 dates??


Ummm...I do believe that Msg 2 was employing sarcasm in his post.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 66
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/21/2012 9:41:26 AM
What a load of crap. In the first meet/date, women know within the first 6 tenths of a second if she's interested in sleeping with a guy-the instant chemistry law. The few dates after passing the chemistry test are just for women to play the "I don't give it up that easily" game, even if they want to. Men don't play that game. Men will let a woman know right away if there's physical attraction. If I'm with a woman who's playing the game for six dates, there won't be a game seven.

 mazi1234
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 67
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Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/22/2012 3:49:33 AM
6 dates is too much u shud suerly know bye 3 but thats just my opinion
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 68
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:47:25 AM
I doubt it would take me 6 dates. But the general point of this article is not rule out someone after 1 date simply because there wasn't instant chemistry. Unless there was something about the other person that was a clear turn off, I would agree.

As stated earlier by some other posters, some people are shy or nervous during a first date. Chemistry can sometimes start to form over time as 2 people become more comfortable, relaxed, and learn more things about the other person.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 69
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:14:10 AM
I didn't know there was a 6 date rule.
I do know, that for me, I can tell right away
whether or not I can see myself naked with someone.
That doesn't mean I will on the first date, but it does
mean I see potential.
Knowing whether or not you can see yourself sleeping
with someone rules someone in or out almost immediately
I think.
Once in, numerous other things could rule them out.
I just figured it was the same for guys as well.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 70
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:35:15 AM
By the sixth date, some women are expecting an engagement ring and are making wedding plans. It's best to test drive long before that happens.
 miltplum
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 71
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/22/2012 7:56:43 PM
I've never heard of this rule.
Like someone else said, six dates is bf/gf territory.
Generally...you figure it out on the first date. I hate to say that but....
most people either feel attraction or they don't.
I wish you wouldn't use the word creepy to describe most any guy you don't care for.
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 72
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/23/2012 8:00:16 AM
OMG! You mean there's now a six date rule? And me just getting used to the three date rule!
Seriously, unlike many who post here, I don't make up my mind about a man in the first few minutes we are together. We just met face-to-face for goodness sakes. It does take more time together (not the same date), for me to know for sure. That being said, I do know by that time if he is truly a man I'd like to wake up next to. If I don't get that feeling, then heck no, we never ever make it to the sixth date. What am I saying? We don't even make it to the third date!
 tilark99
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 73
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/23/2012 12:38:04 PM
I've heard of the 3 date rule and the 6 date rule and I call bull$hit on both. I think when I meet someone I'll be able to determine if there was a reason I am interested in seeing them again. If they are able to to determine more about me, fine, good for them. But that's THEIR rule, not my rule. If I decide to sleep with someone, it will not be because a certain date came along. It will be because I want to sleep with them, and their are no obstacles on that day/night.

Human behavior and human relationships do not fit formulas or rules very well. I think people would buy tickets to watch what would happen if someone stuck their lip out and insisted I had to sleep with them because it was the 3rd time we'd seen each other because someone on a forum made up a 3 date rule.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 74
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/23/2012 1:45:15 PM
I'm going to wait for the latest revision of the On-Line Dating For Dummies handbook. I heard there's going to be a chart to cover this topic by age category. At one end of the graph, it's going to show a 6 year rule for teens and pre-teens and at the other end will be the 6 hour rule for seniors in their 70's and older because they might not be around for date two.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 75
Do you Believe in the 6 Date Rule...?
Posted: 2/23/2012 2:06:09 PM

This is all rather incongruous to me.

That's because you seem to want some assurance that you won't have to make any mistakes looking for Mr. Right. In particular:

In 0.3 milliseconds we're supposed to know if we want to sleep with someone, we have to sleep with them on the third date (we will get jiggy...5..4...3...2...1...NOW!!!

Well, if you know you want to sleep with someone, why would you wait? If you decide later that you don't want to sleep with a guy any longer, then at loeast it was fun while you did want to sleep with him.

but 3 months down the line we realise we've made a mistake and we don't really want to sleep with them after all.

In that case, you stop sleeping with them. Using your logic, you'd never have sex, even after marriage, just in case you might want to get divorced and stop sleeping with someone 23 years later.

And 6 dates is a waste of time?

Based on personal experience, I'd have to say yes, waiting 6 dates is a waste of time. If a woman isn't eager to rip my clothes well before 6 dates, she just isn't that into me. If she's eager to rip my clothes off but pretends otherwise, I'drather not deal with that psychology.
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