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 AUTHOR
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 2
House Husbands and Stay At Home DadsPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
OP, I'm with you. Why can't I be the lazy slob watching General Hospital and Oprah while stuffing my face with doritos and mozzarella sticks all day, then push the vacuum cleaner around @ 4:59 right before throwing some pre cooked meal into the oven and then complain what a bltch of a day I had.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 3
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:20:51 AM
It's very hard to overcome hundreds of years of well established prejudice against women. That's what drives the notion that a woman can't be the primary wage earner, and the man the housekeeper.
 needyone
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 4
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 10:27:23 AM
tooo funny thousands of females love to stay home but let a male say he would love to stay home and take time with the family and children its like he is worthless piece of crap
even our gov in canada gives 12 months off to female and none to male
and yes you can all beat me up and say he can but he has to beg his wife to give him some of the 12 months I knew 4 males that did it and all 4 wives left them and said that there was no way they where going to support a male
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 5
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 11:14:59 AM

OP, I'm with you. Why can't I be the lazy slob watching General Hospital and Oprah while stuffing my face with doritos and mozzarella sticks all day, then push the vacuum cleaner around @ 4:59 right before throwing some pre cooked meal into the oven and then complain what a bltch of a day I had.


I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming this is a weak attempt at humor.

OP, does it matter what other people think? Ultimately, it is what works for you and your partner.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 9
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 12:34:54 PM

OP, I'm with you. Why can't I be the lazy slob watching General Hospital and Oprah while stuffing my face with doritos and mozzarella sticks all day, then push the vacuum cleaner around @ 4:59 right before throwing some pre cooked meal into the oven and then complain what a bltch of a day I had.


NJ_Phil ... sad your Mom showed you that as an example of mother hood.

I've always taken on the working Mom role.
Not from choice.
It seems the men I was with wanted to play the stay at home Dad role.
Instead they were lazy, watched star trek and played video games while stuffing their faces with pop and chips, then when I got hope asked what's for dinner.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 10
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 12:56:55 PM
To OP:... It took me 35 yrs. of careful investing and planning to become what I am today.......a stay at home DAD.
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 13
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:46:05 PM
I've always taken on the working Mom role.
Not from choice.
It seems the men I was with wanted to play the stay at home Dad role.
Instead they were lazy, watched star trek and played video games while stuffing their faces with pop and chips, then when I got hope asked what's for dinner.


sad about your choice in men.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 14
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 1:50:02 PM

OP, I'm with you. Why can't I be the lazy slob watching General Hospital and Oprah while stuffing my face with doritos and mozzarella sticks all day, then push the vacuum cleaner around @ 4:59 right before throwing some pre cooked meal into the oven and then complain what a bltch of a day I had.

And to think you may have a Mother out there somewhere. Poor gal ~ wonder if she knows how much you disdain women? (And for the record? You'd last about a day in my house if that were our arrangement. I've been a stay-at-home spouse and it wore me the hell out. I get more rest working and spending my time in Corporate America with whiny clients than I EVER got while given the "gift" to stay at home.)

~OP~ As has been said ~ if that works for you and a potential spouse, that's all that matters. I know one or two stay-at-home-male spouses and neither of them eat bon-bons or watch soaps. They take parenting/household chores, etc., etc., very seriously. It's not an easy job ~ if you do it right and with a lot of love. To each their own.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 19
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 3:35:04 PM
I was under the impression that parental leave is for parents of either gender.
Just had this conversation with my middle son last week. His fiancee and he have discussed it. She will be making more money than him when they have children and it would make more sense for him to take a year off work.
I told him I'm excited for him. Most men/children don't get the privilege of spending that much time with each other. Men miss so much, like women who have to work full time.
I think it's also a great way for either gender to see just how much work it is staying home with kids. How mentally hard it can be.
Lot more to it than eating bonbons and watching TV all day.
I think one working full time, one working part time is ideal.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 22
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 4:55:17 PM

Look at your body. It's much strong than a woman who is designed to reproduce, feed and nuture a child. You are designed to go into the world and bring back the resources.


This goes to show that not only some men are disdainful of the strengths of women, but other women are, too. Sexism knows no bounds, and women can be as sexist in their views toward women as can men.

If we take this view on weak women and strong men, then we need to apply it across the board. By your reasoning, people in wheelchairs, who have prosthetics, or who have physical ailments should not be working because they are not strong.

I hope that I can make it through an hour and fifteen minute class that I have to teach tomorrow because not only am I female, but I am old. Then, I'll have to come home and find the energy to sit before the computer for a few hours to grade.

And never mind how the bodies are “constructed”—what about brains?
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 23
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:35:37 PM

sad about your choice in men.


NJ_Phil ... Yup!

But then I can correct that.
Can you?
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 24
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/1/2012 6:40:41 PM
I remember when my children were young how strong I had to be. Lifting children and strollers in and out of the car, children in and out of high chairs, the bathtub, picking up toys all day, running from room to room to see what they were up to. Up at 5am and not sitting down until 9pm. Massive laundry, floors always had to be clean for crawling babies, lugging groceries and babies into the house, etc.
People who care for children are definitely not weak.
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 25
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 2/2/2012 6:16:12 PM

NJ_Phil ... Yup!

But then I can correct that.
Can you?


LOL..Good luck with that ! My reference to the slacker, stay at home mom was to a fellow worker and not my own wife or Mom, God Bless them both of them. My wife wasn't the perfect homemaker, but wouldn't have her any other way.
 DaironG82
Joined: 10/22/2012
Msg: 28
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/5/2013 4:27:00 PM
I agree, There are issues with me (phisically) and I'm tired of being judged as lazy or incompetent. I'm a loving man who does very well as the "wife" in the relationship. I think that "house dads" should be looked at with more respect.
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 29
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/6/2013 4:42:08 AM
I know men that retired at a very early age, under 50....no bills and have a very healthy disposable income. Most make more from their pensions and investments than people who work. But you still read it in peoples profiles, "MUST BE EMPLOYED"...Lots of people have tunnel vision and can't think outside of this box. Women ask me so what do you do all day...I say, what ever I want to do !
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 30
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/6/2013 5:36:37 AM
In this day and age it is important that one of the parents stay home with the children . Since public schools have basically become behavior modification or indoctrination sites (like any government that is trending towards totalitarian ) it is more important that they be home schooled . As far what Opp asks : I would've loved it if I had been given the chance to be a stay at home dad . Place would have been clean , kids taken care of , dinner on the table . But I do have a question , if the father is the one to stay at home and the mother works , if they divorce he gets the kids, house etc ?
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 31
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/6/2013 11:13:00 AM
I guess I essentially have a 'house-husband', though we're not actually living together, yet, we've talking about it now. I find I really like it - he often cooks for me when I get home from work, takes care of my dog for me while I'm at work, and if I ask him, takes care of other chores as well. If he does move in, I would ask him to do more of the household stuff than he currently does. I don't mind at all that he can't work, I fully understand why he can't and his other qualities certainly make up for whatever he lacks financially.

I agree with those who think that ideally, children should have one parent at home at least before they start school. I don't think it matters if it's mommy or daddy, but over the years I've come to believe that it is important for the child's overall development. I know it's not possible for everyone, though, and most kids grow up ok even if both parents work.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 32
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/6/2013 12:54:40 PM
A house husband= a "God send"

Someone who will do all that I detest doing (cleaning, cooking, organizing), make sure to receive all of my packages, assemble all furniture, research anything I want to buy, be on the look out for things I usually buy, go food shopping and prepare meals, have time to relax and go visit friends, who also has a life (hobbies, friends, and things he likes to do or is into)? that is just awesome.

I don't think I would mind this arrangement as long as I don't have to support him and we don't live together. He doesn't have to be employed for me to be with him, he just needs to be financially solvent (so I don't have to support him).

I still think two people working have more potential for growth and financial security (regardless of type of employment), as they would be able to take greater risks, as the other would be able to back them up. One person can decide to walk out of their job or start their own business, as the other would be there to temporarily support them through it all, and vice-versa. In essence, you're not stuck.

In a relationship or household where only one person is employed or financially solvent, invites a recipe for resentment and quite jealousy (the idea that the other is having a good time at home). It also limits opportunities as the person earning a living or having money cannot risk losing their employment or source of income, as they are not only supporting themselves, but also another person.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 33
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/6/2013 12:59:08 PM
and I'm tired of being judged as lazy or incompetent. I'm a loving man who does very well as the "wife" in the relationship. I think that "house dads" should be looked at with more respect.


I have no issue with a Dad staying home with his children, I do have to say that the vast majority of negative comments I have heard regarding a man taking paternity leave or being the primary care giver have come from men, sure a few women have made snide comments, mainly an echo of what men have said to them in the past regarding eating candy and watching soaps all day sort of thing rather than admitting that it is hard work, but the men have been by far the more derisive and disrespectful, I have on more than one occasion called my husband out on his remarks made about a co worker taking paternity leave. He is military, so they are hopefully the last of the knuckle draggers to evolve, but in my experience, its men that are quick to deride another male for doing "women's work", not the other way around.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 36
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/6/2013 6:43:22 PM
^^^^^^Now that is funny. There is not one single answer or opinion or reason why some males stay at home. Period! I know of a couple that work when the wife is off or at night or whenever they can. May not be full time but BOTH the wife and the husband agree and like how it works so children can be more at home then at some daycare. One of these couples is an RN and makes great money and loves what she does and wants a career. Like someone said, another issue besides daycare is the price of daycare. These couples kids interact with other children so they are not "sheltered". Like I say, there are tons of different reasons why there are stay at home dads. Please don't "group" or stereotype them all under one answer.
 aanarchist
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 37
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/9/2013 2:03:43 AM
don't ask these guppies for any opinions, because often times you'll get closed minded idiots trying to tell you what's right and wrong when they are equally clueless if not moreso. what one woman finds acceptable is unacceptable to another, just like any other opinion in the universe, it's all empty opinions. you have yours too, what do YOU think about being a househusband? sounds to me like if your wife is a corperate executive and wants to keep a high income household, then she might be ok with letting her man do the housework.

i personally think that i would want something leaning a bit more towards a traditional relationship, double income works fine by me as long as she's happy with what she's doing and also can meet my particular needs, time is always more valuble than money. i have absolutely no problem with being a housemaid but my concern lies in the fact that if she's stressing over work while i'm sitting on my duff at home then it'll flip the script a bit in where i have to take care of her coming home rather than vice versa. i'd rather bust my ass and have my boo give me a back massage afterwards that's just me. in the case of long term domestic relationship i might ask her to cut her work down to part time and focus more time into her passions and hobbies and also so she can put more energy into spoiling me when i come home hehe. the keyword is synergy, your partner complements you in a way where you work best together as a unit, yet still retain individual identities apart from each other. such synergy all depends on the couple in question, and sometimes that means the man is doing housework while the woman is dropping bombs at business meetings.
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 40
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/9/2013 10:44:05 AM
As a long time seasonal construction worker, I usually always had the winters off, I looked forward to it, not only was I not working outside in the cold, but I got the chance to spend time with my boys and watch them grow, I loved it, and it was 3 or 4 months we never had to pay for daycare for them, it made up for the rest of the year I worked late hours and only saw them in their pajamas at night. Now could I sit at home all year and do that? No way, by the time spring rolled around I was eager to be able to earn a living again and provide for my family.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 41
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/9/2013 11:19:55 AM


even our gov in canada gives 12 months off to female and none to male


That is sooo not true!!! Males can take parental leave for 12 months if he chooses to be a stay at home dad. It's the exact same thing as maternity leave for females.

If the wife makes more income than the husband, it would make sense for the guy to take the parental leave during the first year. I know many guy friends who have done this. After the given 12 months, I agree that both should start providing after then


Closer but still no cigar. There is no longer any such thing as maternity leave in Canada. There is a 12 month parental leave which either parent can take at the birth of a baby, or adoption of a child. It can be split however the family chooses to, it is still usually mom that stays home for the year but it can be either or. (or both can stay home for the first 6 months)
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 44
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/26/2013 3:36:44 PM
I have seen many stay at home dads before, their wives usually leave them for a guy that makes equal or more than them, my brother is one of them, he works on hotrods at home and takes care of the kids, his wife belittles him alot and threatens to leave him for a real man, my brother is the most coolest, nicest masculine guy I know, he is even waaay smarter than his wife. He cooks, cleans, fixes computers on the side and builds alot with his hands. She just did not want to do any of the kid raising so he chose to do it instead of hiring a nanny, he is a great dad.

I would think generally women would feel that if she has a man at home... is less of a man that she can get, maybe even embarrased to have other people know she has a stay at home husband that takes care of the kids.

Not all women see that way I guess, the poor fellow with 5 kids accross the street from , had it bad when his lawyer wife left him for a "real" man, the dude is a badass Harley biker, worked his hobby while his kids played in the little pool next to him, he always invited me to eat on his almost daily BBQ for his family, that is over though, good guy now broken man, he loved his wife.
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