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 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 29
House Husbands and Stay At Home DadsPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I know men that retired at a very early age, under 50....no bills and have a very healthy disposable income. Most make more from their pensions and investments than people who work. But you still read it in peoples profiles, "MUST BE EMPLOYED"...Lots of people have tunnel vision and can't think outside of this box. Women ask me so what do you do all day...I say, what ever I want to do !
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 31
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/6/2013 11:13:00 AM
I guess I essentially have a 'house-husband', though we're not actually living together, yet, we've talking about it now. I find I really like it - he often cooks for me when I get home from work, takes care of my dog for me while I'm at work, and if I ask him, takes care of other chores as well. If he does move in, I would ask him to do more of the household stuff than he currently does. I don't mind at all that he can't work, I fully understand why he can't and his other qualities certainly make up for whatever he lacks financially.

I agree with those who think that ideally, children should have one parent at home at least before they start school. I don't think it matters if it's mommy or daddy, but over the years I've come to believe that it is important for the child's overall development. I know it's not possible for everyone, though, and most kids grow up ok even if both parents work.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 32
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/6/2013 12:54:40 PM
A house husband= a "God send"

Someone who will do all that I detest doing (cleaning, cooking, organizing), make sure to receive all of my packages, assemble all furniture, research anything I want to buy, be on the look out for things I usually buy, go food shopping and prepare meals, have time to relax and go visit friends, who also has a life (hobbies, friends, and things he likes to do or is into)? that is just awesome.

I don't think I would mind this arrangement as long as I don't have to support him and we don't live together. He doesn't have to be employed for me to be with him, he just needs to be financially solvent (so I don't have to support him).

I still think two people working have more potential for growth and financial security (regardless of type of employment), as they would be able to take greater risks, as the other would be able to back them up. One person can decide to walk out of their job or start their own business, as the other would be there to temporarily support them through it all, and vice-versa. In essence, you're not stuck.

In a relationship or household where only one person is employed or financially solvent, invites a recipe for resentment and quite jealousy (the idea that the other is having a good time at home). It also limits opportunities as the person earning a living or having money cannot risk losing their employment or source of income, as they are not only supporting themselves, but also another person.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 33
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/6/2013 12:59:08 PM
and I'm tired of being judged as lazy or incompetent. I'm a loving man who does very well as the "wife" in the relationship. I think that "house dads" should be looked at with more respect.


I have no issue with a Dad staying home with his children, I do have to say that the vast majority of negative comments I have heard regarding a man taking paternity leave or being the primary care giver have come from men, sure a few women have made snide comments, mainly an echo of what men have said to them in the past regarding eating candy and watching soaps all day sort of thing rather than admitting that it is hard work, but the men have been by far the more derisive and disrespectful, I have on more than one occasion called my husband out on his remarks made about a co worker taking paternity leave. He is military, so they are hopefully the last of the knuckle draggers to evolve, but in my experience, its men that are quick to deride another male for doing "women's work", not the other way around.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 36
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/6/2013 6:43:22 PM
^^^^^^Now that is funny. There is not one single answer or opinion or reason why some males stay at home. Period! I know of a couple that work when the wife is off or at night or whenever they can. May not be full time but BOTH the wife and the husband agree and like how it works so children can be more at home then at some daycare. One of these couples is an RN and makes great money and loves what she does and wants a career. Like someone said, another issue besides daycare is the price of daycare. These couples kids interact with other children so they are not "sheltered". Like I say, there are tons of different reasons why there are stay at home dads. Please don't "group" or stereotype them all under one answer.
 aanarchist
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 37
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/9/2013 2:03:43 AM
don't ask these guppies for any opinions, because often times you'll get closed minded idiots trying to tell you what's right and wrong when they are equally clueless if not moreso. what one woman finds acceptable is unacceptable to another, just like any other opinion in the universe, it's all empty opinions. you have yours too, what do YOU think about being a househusband? sounds to me like if your wife is a corperate executive and wants to keep a high income household, then she might be ok with letting her man do the housework.

i personally think that i would want something leaning a bit more towards a traditional relationship, double income works fine by me as long as she's happy with what she's doing and also can meet my particular needs, time is always more valuble than money. i have absolutely no problem with being a housemaid but my concern lies in the fact that if she's stressing over work while i'm sitting on my duff at home then it'll flip the script a bit in where i have to take care of her coming home rather than vice versa. i'd rather bust my ass and have my boo give me a back massage afterwards that's just me. in the case of long term domestic relationship i might ask her to cut her work down to part time and focus more time into her passions and hobbies and also so she can put more energy into spoiling me when i come home hehe. the keyword is synergy, your partner complements you in a way where you work best together as a unit, yet still retain individual identities apart from each other. such synergy all depends on the couple in question, and sometimes that means the man is doing housework while the woman is dropping bombs at business meetings.
 forumfella
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 40
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/9/2013 10:44:05 AM
As a long time seasonal construction worker, I usually always had the winters off, I looked forward to it, not only was I not working outside in the cold, but I got the chance to spend time with my boys and watch them grow, I loved it, and it was 3 or 4 months we never had to pay for daycare for them, it made up for the rest of the year I worked late hours and only saw them in their pajamas at night. Now could I sit at home all year and do that? No way, by the time spring rolled around I was eager to be able to earn a living again and provide for my family.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 41
House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/9/2013 11:19:55 AM


even our gov in canada gives 12 months off to female and none to male


That is sooo not true!!! Males can take parental leave for 12 months if he chooses to be a stay at home dad. It's the exact same thing as maternity leave for females.

If the wife makes more income than the husband, it would make sense for the guy to take the parental leave during the first year. I know many guy friends who have done this. After the given 12 months, I agree that both should start providing after then


Closer but still no cigar. There is no longer any such thing as maternity leave in Canada. There is a 12 month parental leave which either parent can take at the birth of a baby, or adoption of a child. It can be split however the family chooses to, it is still usually mom that stays home for the year but it can be either or. (or both can stay home for the first 6 months)
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 44
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House Husbands and Stay At Home Dads
Posted: 11/26/2013 3:36:44 PM
I have seen many stay at home dads before, their wives usually leave them for a guy that makes equal or more than them, my brother is one of them, he works on hotrods at home and takes care of the kids, his wife belittles him alot and threatens to leave him for a real man, my brother is the most coolest, nicest masculine guy I know, he is even waaay smarter than his wife. He cooks, cleans, fixes computers on the side and builds alot with his hands. She just did not want to do any of the kid raising so he chose to do it instead of hiring a nanny, he is a great dad.

I would think generally women would feel that if she has a man at home... is less of a man that she can get, maybe even embarrased to have other people know she has a stay at home husband that takes care of the kids.

Not all women see that way I guess, the poor fellow with 5 kids accross the street from , had it bad when his lawyer wife left him for a "real" man, the dude is a badass Harley biker, worked his hobby while his kids played in the little pool next to him, he always invited me to eat on his almost daily BBQ for his family, that is over though, good guy now broken man, he loved his wife.
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