Then there is housing. If the goal is to live together how many bedrooms are you going to need? And don't even think of the kids of different families sharing bedrooms unless you have extremely social kids... It's hard enough to get them to share bedrooms when they're related. Then add in needing separate rooms for the boys and the girls.
By the time most if not all kids are teens, they will want their own room EACH. That's 5+ bedrooms needed. Not many houses have that many let alone apartments....
Utilities and other costs... all those people doing laundry, showering, eating,
Try getting in the bathroom with 5+ other people wanting to go, bath, shower etc...
Trust me, I've lived in a house with the G/F, 3 cats, 4 dogs, 4 teenage girls, 3 teenage boys... and that's only when nobody has a friend over for the night...
It can be done.... but it's a lot of strain.... Even the Brady Bunch only put up with each other for a half-hour a week... LOL
I have always been upfront in my profile that I have children at home. Before they even read any profiles guys need to decide for themselves whether or not they would be willing to accept a woman with children or not. Too easy. I think a lot of the time people just don’t know what they want then when things mysteriously “didn’t work out” they have something to blame it on other than themselves.
Most women involved in a breakup do have custody and most often full-time custody. Local stats in my area from the last government census state 1253 female single parent households and 325 male single parent households. I would guess similar states in other places.
My children have never been part of my dating life. As other women have stated this was my ‘adult time’ which I valued and guarded. It was practically the only thing I did for ME as I have had my children full-time all the time for the past 11 years while going to university and earning my degree (with honours) and working part-time for the Canadian military reserve forces. For me the thought of bringing any strange man into our family, with three girls, was a recipe for disaster.
When I first began online meeting I used to get a lot of guys asking detailed questions about my children. I learned pretty early on to never discuss them with strange men on the internet.
As M_church has stated there is alot of financial ramifications that a man incurs when pursuing a long-term relationship of a woman with children. Although there are some predators out there, the majority of men that are asking you detailed questions in regards to your domestic life are doing so to make a assessment. The number of children, the ages of the children and the presence or absence of the biological father can speak volumes of the financial state of the woman these men are pursuing.
I have dated divorced women with children who had careers and were financially self-sufficient. The common denominator was the biological father was in the picture. Needless to say they were receiving child support and the children did not need for not nor was there a necessity for me to overly financially contribute. Most of these only had 2 children.
On the other end of the spectrum I have a uncle who married a woman who had 3 children and they had one together. After putting the first three through college, by the time their child was ready for college they were bled dry. All of the savings and home equity were tapped out and the salt in the wound was the second child squandered his education and is bussing tables.
As the expression goes that children can never get enough love, they also can never get enough money. The more children a person has the more money they are going to need. Four children is a much higher number then most and will require a enormous amount of financial resources. This is obviously going to create hesitation for the majority of potential suitors.