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 Skillz_changes_13
Joined: 1/12/2014
Msg: 196
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Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential partners?Page 7 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Wow.... Guess I'm older, brought up differently, so my thinking is different.....But guys even though the expressions made are your views, your likings and your opinions. And I do believe you guys do have all the right to them, some of them seem to come off very shallow. What is obvious is a lot of men do not like children. Some of you have expressed that and some have tried concealing it.

Now yummy.....You can not...
...want to tell men you have 4 kids but don't want to discuss them.
...present yourself as a needy parent looking for support and a father for them.
...present yourself as a mummy who is looking.

You have to...
...present yourself as a woman with children.
...to be patient and careful not to expose your children to different relationship in search of mr. Right.

I am not sure how old you are, but I'm assuming you are in your young 30's. If I'm correct, the hardest thing will be for you to find someone mature enough in your age group (especially online), and need to be careful of the older men.
I would strongly suggest you change your medium of search.
 Skillz_changes_13
Joined: 1/12/2014
Msg: 197
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Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential partners?
Posted: 7/10/2014 10:06:52 AM
carolann0308 has some good advice......
 oceanstorms
Joined: 4/10/2014
Msg: 198
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential partners?
Posted: 7/11/2014 9:17:09 AM
I have always been upfront in my profile that I have children at home. Before they even read any profiles guys need to decide for themselves whether or not they would be willing to accept a woman with children or not. Too easy. I think a lot of the time people just don’t know what they want then when things mysteriously “didn’t work out” they have something to blame it on other than themselves.
Most women involved in a breakup do have custody and most often full-time custody. Local stats in my area from the last government census state 1253 female single parent households and 325 male single parent households. I would guess similar states in other places.
My children have never been part of my dating life. As other women have stated this was my ‘adult time’ which I valued and guarded. It was practically the only thing I did for ME as I have had my children full-time all the time for the past 11 years while going to university and earning my degree (with honours) and working part-time for the Canadian military reserve forces. For me the thought of bringing any strange man into our family, with three girls, was a recipe for disaster.
When I first began online meeting I used to get a lot of guys asking detailed questions about my children. I learned pretty early on to never discuss them with strange men on the internet. This is because I had no intention of bringing a strange man into my home to live with us. I guess they just assumed I was looking for someone to bring home? Guys would ask detailed questions such as, “do your teenage girls like to go shopping? And then state, “I would love to take them shopping for clothes, what kind of clothes do they wear?” OMG this happened to me twice…why would a complete stranger offer to take my teenage girls clothes shopping??? After repeated instances of guys wanting to know more about my children than me I closed them as a discussion topic. This was often met with rudeness and accusations of being a, “man hater” …just because I wanted to protect them…OMG.
For the OP with a very young family there are guys out there who will make you an option. I have friends and have known of many blended families who are very happy together. It just depends on finding someone with similar intent and goals as you have. However, as a previous poster suggested perhaps the online world is not the safest venue through which to pursue this goal.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 199
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential partners?
Posted: 7/12/2014 1:26:25 PM
Yes. Although I would prefer a woman not to have kids, I have dated women that had 1 or 2 kids. But not 4.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 200
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential partners?
Posted: 7/12/2014 5:35:52 PM
As far as the gifts department... I found out the local major zoo near my brother's family (with six kids) had a yearly family membership that was under $150 and you get multiple admissions and rides on all the tours and such. It was a helluva deal considering just one trip could easily go over that $150 mark. I went there for a family Xmas gift because the chaos of trying to find individual presents for that many nieces and nephews is just mind-boggling.

I agree that a parent must be "prepared" to pay for their kids' costs if you decide to do a family event together. If the other party wants to go ahead and pay for something, it's no crime to do so - but if you're doing something that could range over a few hundred dollars and over-extend your individual finances, you better have that "who pays" discussion beforehand.
 trueyou2
Joined: 6/5/2014
Msg: 201
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 7/22/2014 6:15:59 AM
I have read a lot of douchebag responses...not talking about the honest ones but the rude comments. I am a mother of 3 children and yes by different fathers not embarrassed to say that at all. My kids are 12, 7 and just had a baby May 1st. I am educated, going to school to get my Elementary Education degree, will be finished in 2 years at the age of 32. My 12 year old, he is a straight A student; he even received the presidential honors award, that has obama's signature on it. Well his father died, which, was my best friend from childhood, til he past away when I was pregnant. My 2nd son who is 7, I thought I would give it another go after 2 years of my best friend dying. I was engaged but the guy became abusive after 5 years, so of course, I left him. Now after 4 years, I got in to another relationship and this time, I can say I had a baby by someone where it was not serious but I finally had my daughter and I feel blessed. I do quite well financially by myself. My point to all of this, you can not just judge a woman with 2-4 kids without knowing the story. If you aren't looking to date anyone with children than obviously you aren't the one for us. I have dated men who had kids or no kids but I prefer to do date someone who is a single father or has a child or 2, because they know how life is.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 202
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Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 7/27/2014 8:20:29 PM
I am going to be judgmental (and absolutely 175% unapologetic) about it.

I cannot envision any scenario in which I would even think about dating a woman with more than 2 children. As a childless guy, I would mos def feel that I was getting the "short end of the stick" if a woman had more than 2. Hell, it's bad enough that the biological father very often comes DEAD LAST, behind the family dog, gerbil, and goldfish, in his own household (with his OWN biological children).

"Momma, momma, momma. Nobody give a d*mn about daddy. What daddy get? The big piece of chic-ken? Daddy always tellin' the kids, 'Tell ya' momma her hair look nice.' Tell ya' momma' the dinner was good.' But, do anybody ever say, 'Thank ya' daddy, it SURE is easy to read in here with ALL this light? Nobody give a fcvk about daddy!"
-----Chris Rock

"You want the truth?"

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH."

I am not a parent, but anyone (male or female) with 3, 4, 5, 7, 9 children SHOULD have a lot bigger fish to fry than to worry about "dating". That's A LOT of meals to make, sittin' around the kitchen table homework to check, laundry to wash, fold, and put away, events to chauffer, after-school events to attend, sports to drive to AND from (and don't forget about PRACTICE), dishes to wash, bills to pay, toys to pick up, bedtime stories to read, bathrooms to clean, grocery shopping to do, college educations to fund, etc. etc. etc. (Hell, I got tired just typing ALL that).

"Hats off" to the man or woman who wants to take on someone with 3+ children. They are truly doing, "yeoman's work". If they like it, I LOVE it.

I have dated single mothers. I have only seen one who could handle a full-time job, a child, and the type of relationship that I seek (and I am probably a lot more "low-maintenance" than most). She had ONE child, and a lot of family support.

"You can get your kid on, or your party on, but you can't do both."-------Chris Rock
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 203
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 7/27/2014 11:16:35 PM
Sh*t happens. Spouses die - or get arrested - or run away. However someone ended up in a circumstance as a single parent of multiple children really, truly does NOT MATTER. What matters is how they DEAL with it. Some people are amazingly competent, available AND reliable for dating, whether it be one kid or several - while others cannot even figure out how to make enough time for even a phone call, even though they are completely single.

If a parent wants to date, there's nothing to say they can't throw their hat in the ring and give it a shot. But, just like everyone else in here, merely making yourself 'available' is rarely ever enough to 'earn' a date. You need to be able to focus on your partner and fulfill their relationship needs just the same as any other Joe or Jane single has to do. Does having children make that tougher? Of course it does. Does having multiple children make it worse? It can - if they let it.

Having kids is STILL no excuse for not being a good relationship partner. They are your offspring - not a crutch that prevents you from having a happy social life. As much as having children makes it more difficult to free up time to date, I see just as many single parents wasting time using their kids as excuses why a relationship did not work out. That's totally unfair to the kids who really don't have a voice or choice in the matter, and it's not fair to the date that they can't measure up to the kids or comply with their schedules when they know little or nothing about them. BOTH sides need patience and a little empathy towards the others' situation.
 ganho
Joined: 5/7/2014
Msg: 204
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 7/29/2014 2:42:45 PM

Sh*t happens. Spouses die - or get arrested - or run away. However someone ended up in a circumstance as a single parent of multiple children really, truly does NOT MATTER. What matters is how they DEAL with it. Some people are amazingly competent, available AND reliable for dating, whether it be one kid or several - while others cannot even figure out how to make enough time for even a phone call, even though they are completely single.

If a parent wants to date, there's nothing to say they can't throw their hat in the ring and give it a shot. But, just like everyone else in here, merely making yourself 'available' is rarely ever enough to 'earn' a date. You need to be able to focus on your partner and fulfill their relationship needs just the same as any other Joe or Jane single has to do. Does having children make that tougher? Of course it does. Does having multiple children make it worse? It can - if they let it.

Having kids is STILL no excuse for not being a good relationship partner.

Well SW Dan...I might suggest that sometimes is not accurate. I had 2 daughters who were very active in competitive sports and one in 2—3 sports was flirting with provincial level teams and in fact had an international trip with the U20 national team. Any parent who has children in competitive level sports and when single can make lousy prospective dating partners. And in fact when you are in small towns and all the camps or teams meet in the bigger centre’s make you even more busy with commutes. But that was a choice I made with open eyes and acceptance. I have done the travel...the party weekends and the fun that went with it.

I also had a parent who placed the needs of his own career over the best interest of his children. I also remember dating a social worker who once lamented on my parenting as not being accessible and available enough as she said a defined line needed to be established as child time and parent time so healthy relationships could build. Or we could go out and get laid? But then I looked at her children and the eldest who was barely staying in high school and the youngest all having issues at school....and what she saw as over indulged children due to the sports.....but were both honour students and graduated high school both with honours?

How we deal with the added responsibilities will also have an impact on the children and just because we are no longer with the other parent is no reason why the children have to settle being involved with less or they have to settle with fewer opportunities..

So I chose to support the eldest in her pursuit of what she could achieve despite the financial and time hardships that was a result of where we lived and the fact I was a single parent. Other parents figured it would or should be enough to just register them to local teams and not worry about allowing or enabling them to be the best they could be.
Eldest had offers (( 2 sports )) and accepted a full ride...youngest in a different sport was offered scholarships but nothing from a quality school with engineering and science backgrounds....but they were able in their youth to achieve or try to achieve their best. The eldest also saw firsthand that you sometimes have to sacrifice a little immediate self gratification when you are looking at the big picture which is perhaps why she graduated with an engineering degree and was a 2 sport athlete and holds school records in 2 sports at Div 1.


The other part about it -- is staying disciplined enough to KEEP that free time open.


SW Dan I see you have a great picture of your volleyball team.....and it is great to be a member of a team and committed to that team... But what does it suggest to your children when they are told or have it demonstrated that their opportunities are going to be suppressed because you want your adult time?

I had my time in my youth...I had my time in my 20’s....it was my children’s time to see what they could achieve and I fail to see why my need for my time should derail what they can achieve themselves.

Now they are both in university or graduate school and I have no need to have them come home once they graduate. In fact 1 ½ bdrm look very attractive as comfortable for short visits and not too comfortable they move home full time...but wait...both with potential engineering degree’s....suggest they will both be self sufficient and high achievers as they were nurtured to be the best they could be...and not settle for just what was acceptable based on my own needs over their needs.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 205
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Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 7/30/2014 8:19:49 PM
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential partners ? of course it does for a wide variety of reasons,each one representing an individuals right to decide for themselves what they wish to be and not to be involved in,the risk they choose to and not to take and the emotions they wish to and not to invest.
 SeekingmyForeverArms
Joined: 5/7/2014
Msg: 206
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 8/3/2014 4:47:29 PM
Sweet_daniel

I agree.. A single parent either has the time or does not. If they do not, they shouldn't be out there trying to date. f they do, then good for them. I think some people can handle being single easier then others. I can take or leave a relationship. I of course want one. But i'm not going to sacrifice my son and his needs for my own. If I can fit one in I will, if not I'm not going to blame the guy or make the guy suffer by not seeing me on the weekend so I can support my son and his endeavors. That being said.If I can spend adequate time with a partner and still support my son, which I happen to be able to, then I don't see a problem with it. Yes. Sometimes I spend Friday or Saturday day/nights at my son activities. Heck, I just spent a week with him in South Dakota, doing his activities. Sometimes I get busy and unfortunately I can't always control when. If I am dating and that happens the person I'm dating has the option to stick with me or walk. I'm not going to hold him to me. He'll stay because he wants to. Plus in my opinion if he's too impatient to stick with me when my life gets busy, then he's not the one for me anyway. I have a full life of own outside of that which revolves around my son. I would want the same thing of a partner. While it's important that he be there and support me, I'd be upset if he gave up his "him" time or his favorite activities in order to spend time with me. I think some people expect too much too fast. If guy can't accept that I am not available on Monday's, then that is his issue, not mine. Plus I'd want a guy who has some similar interests. So perhaps he an join me (or I him) on hikes or runs or camping trips. Much easier to date that way for all involved don't you think?

PS. I do't think a person who gives up their own interests and devotes every minute to their kids is a better parent then someone who finds a balance. I think each person is different. I need me time. Whether that consists of a 12 mile hike, camping sans child, dating or sitting in a tub matters not. I need the time away from my son in order to be a better parent.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 207
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 8/6/2014 7:53:45 AM
You might meet a well put together parent (of either gender) but you'd be very unrealistic to think that this same person has time for you when they have 4 children, especially if they are under the age of 16.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 208
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Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 8/7/2014 9:02:25 AM

I have read a lot of douchebag responses...not talking about the honest ones but the rude comments. I am a mother of 3 children and yes by different fathers not embarrassed to say that at all. My kids are 12, 7 and just had a baby May 1st.



Call me a douche bag... But you just gave birth 3 months ago and you're trying to date already? Do you really have the time and energy to do that?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 209
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 8/7/2014 12:14:16 PM

I had 2 daughters who were very active in competitive sports and one in 2—3 sports was flirting with provincial level teams and in fact had an international trip with the U20 national team. Any parent who has children in competitive level sports and when single can make lousy prospective dating partners. And in fact when you are in small towns and all the camps or teams meet in the bigger centre’s make you even more busy with commutes. But that was a choice I made with open eyes and acceptance. I have done the travel...the party weekends and the fun that went with it.



SW Dan I see you have a great picture of your volleyball team.....and it is great to be a member of a team and committed to that team... But what does it suggest to your children when they are told or have it demonstrated that their opportunities are going to be suppressed because you want your adult time?


It suggests to the kid that it's good to have friends and make time for them and stay connected and have fun. It ALSO suggests to the kid that they aren't going to always get what they want simply because they want it.

Parents don't need to pay $10,000 or more a year for their kid to play a sport to prove they are a good parent. They don't need to pay ANYthing as long as the child's needs are met. I'm not knocking those who decide to go through the rigamaroll of those traveling teams and foreign tournaments -- other than saying you're NOT anything exceptional for doing so. Kids can adapt to a LOT of different situations if given the opportunity, and have. Look at kids that were home-schooled and become exceptional college graduates, or kids that never even participated in high school sports trying out for a college team and making it to the pros.

I realize parents do the best they can with what they've got, and do a lot to bend over backwards for their kids, but being a parent is NOT every single part of a human being's life. They do interact with other people in the outside world. It is a CHOICE you make to do those activities, and just like other choices, you can't claim to be a victim if you volunteered to do it. Choosing to make time to be an adult or to date is simply another choice, another option that CAN be made.

Some people decide to be full-time parents and half-azzed dating partners. Some people try to go 'all in' for every activity they do, and end up backing out of the ones they can't. Some go at everything in life half-azzed, INCLUDING being a parent. The one thing in common is that they are all CHOICES that you do indeed have control over. Even people with nasty divorces and goofy custody situations still have the option of getting a sitter for the evening. If you can't handle the guilt of denying your kids an opportunity, then don't - but NEVER pretend you're a victim of being a parent when it comes to dating.

Parenting requires discipline - and NOT just discipline of the kids. So does dating or anything else where you want to get a measure of success. All I'm saying is that you get out of life what you put into it - and dating is no different than parenting or any other discipline out there.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 210
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Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 9/5/2014 8:01:44 PM
I have read a lot of douchebag responses...not talking about the honest ones but the rude comments. I am a mother of 3 children and yes by different fathers not embarrassed to say that at all. My kids are 12, 7 and just had a baby May 1st. I am educated, going to school to get my Elementary Education degree, will be finished in 2 years at the age of 32. My 12 year old, he is a straight A student; he even received the presidential honors award, that has obama's signature on it. Well his father died, which, was my best friend from childhood, til he past away when I was pregnant. My 2nd son who is 7, I thought I would give it another go after 2 years of my best friend dying. I was engaged but the guy became abusive after 5 years, so of course, I left him. Now after 4 years, I got in to another relationship and this time, I can say I had a baby by someone where it was not serious but I finally had my daughter and I feel blessed. I do quite well financially by myself. My point to all of this, you can not just judge a woman with 2-4 kids without knowing the story. If you aren't looking to date anyone with children than obviously you aren't the one for us. I have dated men who had kids or no kids but I prefer to do date someone who is a single father or has a child or 2, because they know how life is.


Where to begin? In these scenarios I often wonder what kind of realistic expectations of finding a man of quality do they really have. After reproducing with 3 men I'd say you have bad luck or bad judgment or a combination of the two. I understand about having needs but at this point looking for a long term relationship comes at the expense of your children. I say that because most men will not peruse anything serious in your situation beyond a physical level. I am not trying to be cruel but you should be more realistic with your expectations.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 211
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 9/5/2014 8:55:00 PM

Posted by Peter_Hungus:
"I am not trying to be cruel but you should be more realistic with your expectations."

Peter_Hungus is pointed in the right direction.
Seeking meaningful dates while the youngest is still a tiny infant is rather unrealistic.
The vast majority would advise to sit tight, ensure household stability, and only then contemplate dating again.
 AstroCat505
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 212
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 9/9/2014 11:32:15 AM
In reply to the original post: "Yes!"
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 213
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential partners?
Posted: 9/9/2014 12:01:28 PM
skills changes 13- I really like the level headedness of your reply. I'm old school too. I went out of the dating scene at 20 and found myself back in it with things VERY different at 42!
I have three children, but the youngest is 15, so I don't have little ones anymore. One thing though, my oldest son is 27 and he has given me a beautiful grand daughter who just turned one. It get's interesting when I tell men I'm a grandma at my age :D I have little doubt that this is an issue for some.
My advice for the OP is the same as yours, after all, some will accept her being a mom of four and some won't.
Honesty is key, people should be truthful and let the chips fall where they may.
 JohnnyI986
Joined: 7/6/2014
Msg: 214
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 9/15/2014 9:11:10 PM
The fact of the matter is that yes it is going to make 99.9% of men go running the other way. You can say that we won't be fathering them or whatever else bull you're trying to sell but we aren't that stupid.

ONE kid is a LOT of work, a LOT of money, a LOT of headache, a LOT of commitment, hell it's a relationship in itself. Now times that by FOUR and you have total disaster.

You can probably get a man, but hes going to be ugly as shit and broke. Don't think you're going to find any successful good looking men that want what you have. Just being honest.

I am your age and single, I am still in the beginning stages of life, my career is new, my life is new, everything is fresh and I want to take it on with a fresh perspective and share that with someone else that want's the same things as me. That is NOT possible to have with someone that has 4 children.
 JohnnyI986
Joined: 7/6/2014
Msg: 215
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 9/15/2014 9:12:35 PM
Any man that DOES talk to you is more than liekly just wanting a quickie and then hes going to hit the road. You're an easy target so be careful.
 BeachKitty78
Joined: 9/12/2014
Msg: 216
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 9/18/2014 10:41:21 AM
I will answer from the other end of that. As a woman with older kids (teens) I am put off by guys with more than one young kid. I feel this way-my kids are almost grown and while I like most kids I don't really want to raise any more. I go to college part time and work full time. My time off is precious. Secondly, if a guy has two or more kids he's probably getting tore up in child support and somewhat of a financial liability in my view. I only feel that way because I am approaching this dating thing as "what if". What if we hit it off? What if I really like him? I definitely have my own money but I'm wanting to travel and start enjoying finer things now that I am almost debt free and I think about his ability to pay his share on such expenses if the "what if" comes into play.
 TLC200
Joined: 7/26/2014
Msg: 217
Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 9/22/2014 8:00:08 PM
if a man has a choice I think he'd take the woman who has fewer kids as opposed to the woman who has four.

IF HE HAS A CHOICE.

if he's good looking with a great personality, dough in the bank and does well with the ladies then he can be choosy.

you may have to settle for less than you believe you deserve. or not.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 218
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Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 10/25/2014 8:58:39 PM
I have found women having three or more children "easy". Take your time. And yes, a woman's having four children gives men pause at considering her long term material.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 219
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Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential partners?
Posted: 11/9/2014 7:10:54 AM
Then there is housing. If the goal is to live together how many bedrooms are you going to need? And don't even think of the kids of different families sharing bedrooms unless you have extremely social kids... It's hard enough to get them to share bedrooms when they're related. Then add in needing separate rooms for the boys and the girls.
By the time most if not all kids are teens, they will want their own room EACH. That's 5+ bedrooms needed. Not many houses have that many let alone apartments....

Utilities and other costs... all those people doing laundry, showering, eating,

Try getting in the bathroom with 5+ other people wanting to go, bath, shower etc...

Trust me, I've lived in a house with the G/F, 3 cats, 4 dogs, 4 teenage girls, 3 teenage boys... and that's only when nobody has a friend over for the night...

It can be done.... but it's a lot of strain.... Even the Brady Bunch only put up with each other for a half-hour a week... LOL



I have always been upfront in my profile that I have children at home. Before they even read any profiles guys need to decide for themselves whether or not they would be willing to accept a woman with children or not. Too easy. I think a lot of the time people just don’t know what they want then when things mysteriously “didn’t work out” they have something to blame it on other than themselves.
Most women involved in a breakup do have custody and most often full-time custody. Local stats in my area from the last government census state 1253 female single parent households and 325 male single parent households. I would guess similar states in other places.
My children have never been part of my dating life. As other women have stated this was my ‘adult time’ which I valued and guarded. It was practically the only thing I did for ME as I have had my children full-time all the time for the past 11 years while going to university and earning my degree (with honours) and working part-time for the Canadian military reserve forces. For me the thought of bringing any strange man into our family, with three girls, was a recipe for disaster.
When I first began online meeting I used to get a lot of guys asking detailed questions about my children. I learned pretty early on to never discuss them with strange men on the internet.


As M_church has stated there is alot of financial ramifications that a man incurs when pursuing a long-term relationship of a woman with children. Although there are some predators out there, the majority of men that are asking you detailed questions in regards to your domestic life are doing so to make a assessment. The number of children, the ages of the children and the presence or absence of the biological father can speak volumes of the financial state of the woman these men are pursuing.

I have dated divorced women with children who had careers and were financially self-sufficient. The common denominator was the biological father was in the picture. Needless to say they were receiving child support and the children did not need for not nor was there a necessity for me to overly financially contribute. Most of these only had 2 children.

On the other end of the spectrum I have a uncle who married a woman who had 3 children and they had one together. After putting the first three through college, by the time their child was ready for college they were bled dry. All of the savings and home equity were tapped out and the salt in the wound was the second child squandered his education and is bussing tables.

As the expression goes that children can never get enough love, they also can never get enough money. The more children a person has the more money they are going to need. Four children is a much higher number then most and will require a enormous amount of financial resources. This is obviously going to create hesitation for the majority of potential suitors.
 amandasdad
Joined: 5/17/2013
Msg: 220
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Does a single parent with 4 kids put off potential parthers?
Posted: 11/15/2014 7:15:24 AM
yes i think it would put some men off... but not every man...i think it depends on the age group of the man
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