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 AUTHOR
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 69
Upgrading membership and its effects on datingPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Whether upgraded or free POF membership, my feeling is a happy, upbeat, and cheerful profile leads to more dates.
Back when I was utilizing this website for dates, my social calendar was full. I was dating many (paradoxically) because I wished to be dating only one person. An individual must attend many "first meetings" in order to know where to focus.

A critical component to this is not the "level" of POF membership, yet the overall spirit of the profile. Good luck.
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 70
Upgrading membership and its effects on dating
Posted: 1/14/2015 6:27:25 AM

So you say I'm trying to control women and that my profile will not get me a date and that I'm being defiant and that I'm blaming women

I believe you are when you're telling us to read a book and "we" need to change "our" minds.

Considering what I wrote, I was not expecting anyone to reply to me-much less get a date.

Unfortunately....You will now always be remembered by this profile of women in your area....shot yourself in the foot...even if you change it.

They have little or no regard for introspection, for truth, and find fault with anyone who questions things because it puts into question your culturally conditioned beliefs.

Point is....Your truth or introspection....isn't everyone elses....some men and women have no problems meeting/dating
And to claim that the author has absolutely nothing to offer is a serious mistake.

Sorry....I don't ever need someone to tell me...about myself and feelings and choices in my life...

You said in your profile that "I feel, it's very important to be an honest person" I agree, but if we can't be honest with ourselves, how can we possibly be with others?

I am honest with myself....that's the whole point. Why and who can anyone tell me who I can/should date or want? Just ludicrous...imo.

How can we possibly free ourselves from that which is holding us back?

I don't feel I am being held back at all! Quite happy actually...

No doubt, men too have their issues and rest assured I have no qualms knowing what they are. In fact, I want to know every stupid thing men do to themselves and to women. Why? because I don't want to be like them.

Hate to break it to you....Big Fail on this account..

Because I'm sick and tired of the drama, the conditioned responses, and stereotyped perception men have of women. I don't want to love more, I want to love better

Then be a better man...don't follow in the steps of a "bitter, mean spirited man"...looking to put blame on someone else for your lack of dates. Sometimes on line dating is not meant for everyone...it takes a tough skin and yes....no one likes rejection..it happens to all of us.
It's in how we deal with "all" circumstances in life...that make "us" who we are

Whether upgraded or free POF membership, my feeling is a happy, upbeat, and cheerful profile leads to more dates.
A critical component to this is not the "level" of POF membership, yet the overall spirit of the profile. Good luck

A man who gets it!!
 i8pineapple
Joined: 6/20/2014
Msg: 71
Upgrading membership and its effects on dating
Posted: 1/14/2015 6:36:05 AM
Upgrade = stalker.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 72
Upgrading membership and its effects on dating
Posted: 1/14/2015 7:31:53 AM
When I see an upgraded membership, I automatically think desperate, 8 pictures weren't enough to sell themselves, let's try 16...
If I'm gonna spend money to find a mate, I'd rather do it on a site where the women are serious about it, and not just hanging out for years for attention and gratification.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 73
Upgrading membership and its effects on dating
Posted: 1/14/2015 3:40:27 PM
Tend to agree the upgraded memberships shows that they are not getting the dates they want and think that paying more for more pics etc will get them those dates. Does come off as a bit desperate and when I see the rare woman who does this, I have to wonder about her also. From what I gather, the upgrade wont make any difference and turn a profile suddenly into a magical popular one.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 74
Upgrading membership and its effects on dating
Posted: 1/14/2015 10:47:21 PM
Upgrade and prepare to be amazed and how useless it is.

If you hit the gym like 3-4 days out of the week and junk like that, worked on your self confidence you'd be doing yourself a solid.

Otherwise, paying for upgraded service is like paying for a useless ploy to sap money from you.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Upgrading membership and its effects on dating
Posted: 1/15/2015 10:42:54 AM

Ainen
Free version for the hoi polloi:

When you find an interesting profile and want to be sure you haven't already messaged that person, click on Inbox, click Contact History, change the age range to just that person's age, and click the button to show the results. If that person is already there, don't message them again. If not there, you just have to hit the back button a few times to get back to the profile. Takes less than a minute on a real computer.

The only way you'll message someone again is if they created a new account, in which case the paid feature wouldn't work either.

Yes, that will work. Yes, I am aware of it, and have used it in the past before I “upgraded”. But over the course of a year, I will look at thousands and thousands of profiles, before sending out hundreds of initial messages. Looking at 1000 profiles, if I save 30 seconds on each one by being upgraded, that amounts to 500 minutes, or a little more than 8 hours of my time. I don’t know about you, but 8 hours of my time is worth a LOT more than the cost of an upgraded membership.

When I visit a profile, one of the very first things I look at is the previous contact information. This keeps me from wasting time. If I have already messaged her, and she never replied, then there is absolutely no point in reading the rest of the profile.

Now if you are in a position where you have much more free time than spare money, the above equation would not apply to you.
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 76
view profile
History
Upgrading membership and its effects on dating
Posted: 1/15/2015 12:33:41 PM
Upgraded, now I get 1000's of daily e-mails from interested females instead 1 a year, my house is now full of women fawning over me.... Wakes up with two latex lovers...
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 77
view profile
History
Upgrading membership and its effects on dating
Posted: 7/19/2016 8:49:45 PM
What is this "it" that everyone is worthing about?!?!?
 StumbledBkn
Joined: 7/13/2016
Msg: 78
view profile
History
Upgrading membership and its effects on dating
Posted: 7/20/2016 4:14:11 AM
POF has changed quite a bit since this thread started and they now charge for features that used to be free. I predict they'll continue down that path because every time they began charging for someone's formerly free favorite feature, they either lose that free member (which is no big deal) or they force that member to upgrade. So if they DO continue their current trend, we'll all be forced to upgrade at some point (or leave).

Personally, I've been here since 2008 and haven't upgraded yet but I probably will soon. Originally, I signed up to date. But have been here for the last 4-5 years for the Forums only. And during that time, POF began charging males to attach a photo to a message to a female. Their justification for the change was laughable, but that's besides the point. It didn't affect me until I received a message from a lady on the other side of the planet, who had a question about one of my forum posts. And she had attached a photo. So I wrote back, answered her question, and apologized for not being allowed to attach a photo in return. Frankly, I was embarrassed and felt badly about it. Fortunately, she was aware of the rule (I've since run across women who thought I was lying) and she took a chance on me by giving me her outside email address so I could send a photo. Which proves to me that the rule change had nothing to do with safety of female members. But again, that's besides the point.

My circumstances have recently changed and it looks like I'll now be here for the forums AND for dating. And getting a photo to a lady that asks for one is going to be a pain in the butt. POF knows that, and it's the real reason they made the rule change in the first place.

So I'll probably be upgrading soon. And for only one feature. A feature that females get for free. Does that make me look desperate? Maybe. But I see it just as paying for an even playing field.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 79
Upgrading membership and its effects on dating
Posted: 7/20/2016 9:56:28 AM
I like the upgrade.

Helps me weed out the girls that play the never respond for at least 24 hours game.

If they've read my response, and wait 24 hours to to respond, and do that twice?

They're blocked.

But hey, I can afford to be analytical in a pond with millions of fishies :)

Also, as Ohenry mentioned above, the detailed contact information is valuable.

You'd be surprised how many times a new pic is really someone else you've chatted with awhile back.

In other words...a dead end.
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