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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?      Home login  
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 okfinewhateva
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 51
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
My last , yes I would.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 52
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/7/2012 6:49:48 PM
I don't dislike any of my exes, so if the circumstances were right, who knows? I learned a long time ago to "never say never", although right now I can't imagine what stars could align to make me want to go back to any of them - lol.
 PinkZombies
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 53
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/8/2012 4:24:26 AM
My almost fully-functional, finally not-so-broken heart says "AH HELLL NO!!!"
 catchnrelease71
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 54
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/8/2012 12:58:24 PM
Yes and no if that makes sense. If I could go back to my ex-wife before we were married and first dating, then yes. Those were some absolutely great times and I still regretfully compare future dates to her at that time in our lives. I know I cannot have that person back again and I would just get her in her present state which is not what I could handle. So final answer is a big NO.
 ohhgimmeabreak
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 55
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/9/2012 7:11:41 PM
No. They are exes for a reason. In my experience, people don't change much with time so most likely the patterns are still there.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 56
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/9/2012 7:30:39 PM
Reading some of these posts I have to ask why did so many of you go out with these apparently horrible people in the first place?

I've never said my exes were horrible people. Most of them were rather nice - some more tha others, but I like a little b!tchyness in a woman, so as long as they don't often throw things that are breakable... I also don't think dating any of them was a mistake (except perhaps one of them, but I knew I was probably making a mistake and I did it anyway, so that doesn't count). I just don't go backwards. Once I'm over someone and we've been dating others, it's just too late to go back. I didn't want all of the baggage and drama that comes with an on again/off again relationship, so I make sure I don't stay in touch with anyone with whom I've been in a relationship, so that I really don't care about them any longer. I hope all of my exes are happy with whomever they are with the same way I'd hope anyone is happy with whomever they are with. I just don't want that person to be me.

I've known people who have done it with great success...

I'm sure that people succeed more often with someone new, but hey, whatever works. I wouldn't do it.

I see a lot of posts on POF about people who lose their B/F or G/F to an Ex.... So it must be happening...

That's quite different from losing someone to an ex with whom the relationship with the ex works out. I've never had that happen, but I also wouldn't consider a woman my girlfriend if she was at all uncertain about wanting to date me.

and presumably working for some....

I know a lot of people who have tried going back to an ex, but never anyone for whom the attempt didn't fail in short order.

Seems to me the common denominator of whether it works or not is that too many of you poorly picked in the first place...

I don't think I've ever picked poorly, but that doesn't mean I'm going to pick the same person twice when I can pick someone new whom I haven't already discovered to be incompatible. The common denominator may be me, but it's probably because I'm not easy to get along with for a long time, not because I picked poorly.


 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 57
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/9/2012 8:20:39 PM
Yes.. they may well be Ex's for a reason...

but.. the guy i broke up with two men ago.. i did so before I HATED him.. I 'felt' he wanted something else.. and before he disappointed me.. i dumped and ran. And IF.. he begged me now to be his one and only.. i would believe him.. .. but knowing him.. he will not... EVER.. he is too scared to believe in love.. sadly!
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 58
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/9/2012 9:45:19 PM
Nope. Just keep the memories (and lessons) and move forward.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 59
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/10/2012 6:56:57 PM
Anybody alive would go back with an ex they still deep down still loved. Once you truy love a person, its hard not to always love them, even if living with them or dating them at an earlier time did not work out . . usually because of the follies of youth. People mature and become more self aware with age, and no relationship in the future is likely to be as passionate, deep or successful as rekindling with a very special person from the past. The relationships from our youth tend to be much deeper than the newer relationships we establish in midde age. Most of the women from my past meant nothing to me in the long run so of course I would not go back to them. But to those few I truly loved, but things just didn't work out . . . heck yea. In a New York Second. Highly unlikley any new love could compete with an old true love.
 meteorman_orig
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 60
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/12/2012 4:27:09 PM
Sorry. I don't have a rewind button. I find it best to leave the past in the past.
 RosehipsAlberta
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 61
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/17/2012 7:25:51 PM
Unless people really work at themselves, they don't change that much ...
the same issues that broke you and your ex up in the first place would likely re-occur.
Caring only makes you want it to work ... it's not what does make it work.
 Abby156
Joined: 4/1/2010
Msg: 62
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Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/17/2012 8:12:00 PM
I am sure my ex and I have changed so much after 20 plus years. I am a totally different woman than I was when I married him. That said, I hope he is happy with his life.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 63
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/18/2012 4:52:23 AM
It is rare when true loves whose relationhips did not survive the follirs of youth will both be single later in life with the opportunity to actually date again. However, when it happens, these are the strongest relationhips of all.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 64
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Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/18/2012 6:29:54 AM
I tend to agree with Igor....I doubt that I would. There was one, when I was very, very young.....a teenager.....we were like two peas in a pod, and I think we would have "done life" together if it hadn't been for "interference". But he's been dead for 20 years now.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 65
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/18/2012 6:57:59 AM
Would you try again with an Ex you really cared About?

Define "really cared about". Does that mean I hope they don't fall into a wood chipper, or does that mean I'm still pining over my own past with that person??

The first is unlikely albeit rather stark in its finality, and the second has never happened to me except for once and in hindsight even *that* was a mistake. So I guess the answer is HELL NO.

vvvvvvvvvvv
That. Once I had a chance to talk briefly with the guy I married a zillion years ago. Woulda coulda shoulda, but within 5 minutes it was obvious the same conflicts were still there, just under the surface like they always were. Ick.

If you go back to an ex you really cared about, you are just chasing your own over-rated fantasy of the relationship while ignoring all the things that already proved it can't work. Come on.
 princess2go
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 66
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/18/2012 7:32:49 AM
Going back to an ex is like going to a yard sale and buying all your shit back..lol...it ended for a reason!! Time heals all wounds so the brain remembers all the good.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 67
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/18/2012 2:14:03 PM
Most of you are wrong about this. It has actually been researched. Not just any Ex of course but that special X from the past in your younger years . . they are the strongest relationships when they are rekindled later in life. Problem here is nobody really seems to believe in Love, maybe never had a special person from their past. Maybe because so many of the over 45 set are so bitter and jaded based on their experiences. Kind of sad really. Maybe that's the real reason men go for younger women . . to avoid those who are so jaded.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 68
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/18/2012 2:17:01 PM

Here is what I learned: If it didn't work the first time, it won't work the 2nd. People don't really change and the thing that drove you apart the first time will reappear and drive you apart the 2nd time.


All you really learned was that it didn't work for you. And no, the things that drive people apart in youth are not the same things that drive them apart upon rekindlement . . except for the fact you were likely never really in love to begin with. If that's the case, as I suspect it is for most of you and your exs, nothing is going to change that now.
 providence2006
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 69
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/20/2012 9:16:13 AM
I guess it all depends on the reason the breakup occured in the first place. If it was due to something like the person abusing substances and that behaviour has continued then most likely it won't work but if it was about bad timing then I'd probably give it a shot again.
 KneadfulThing
Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 70
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Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/20/2012 9:42:47 AM
I would. A few of them actually. I never had a bad breakup myself, except for one, but that was due to outside influence, meddling and the misunderstanding of the millennium. Part of it had to do with insecurity from the lapses in judgment of it all. None of it had anything to do with cheating or the thought of either or the other cheating. Chalk that one up to saboteurs who live by the code "misery loves company" I suspect most of us are familiar with the saboteurs, from reading some of these threads..
 Dmaj7
Joined: 5/13/2012
Msg: 71
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/20/2012 2:21:52 PM
"MUCH hinges on the reasons for the original split. In one instance, circumstances beyond our control got in the way of our being able to continue forward. Parting was painful, and full of regret, for us both, though we knew we had no other viable choice. There were no bad vibes, and no incompatibility had surfaced, and no betrayals had taken place. Simply put...life threw a curve ball."

Gotta hate when that happens :(

This is one of those questions that will invite a lot of different responses. There are so many factors. The situation, people's beliefs and our experiences.

I have seen people get back together and it works itself out and they find happiness. I've seen the opposite. People get on the break up seesaw. They just can't seem to stay apart despite the obviousness of the situation.

There is not correct answer for all people.
 Triedandproven
Joined: 2/26/2012
Msg: 72
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/20/2012 6:43:16 PM
I have repeatly ,but glad i got it out of my spirit to see were no good together .Never date a woman that avoids communcation.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 73
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Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/20/2012 7:21:19 PM
I've never had a bad break up....but 'no'.

My life is like chapters in a book and I like the feel of 'what's next?'

Also, as a guy, I'd find it hard to deal with my woman having sex with a guy since she knew me. It's certainly understanding that she would had sex with other guys but, I know myself, and it would dwell on my brain....no need to go there.

Some of my ex's would make great partners for the right guy.
 ConnCat
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 74
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Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:15:19 AM
In general, the answer is no to exes. I do, however, have a weakness for women from my past who were friends, acquaintances, classmates, etc. There's something about having people, a town, and an upbring in common that's so inviting to me. I'm currently in the early stages with just such a person. A welcome break from explaining my f***ing life to yet another brand-new date!
 Doc_Sage
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 75
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 5/23/2012 5:39:30 PM
If I really cared about her, she would not be an ex.

Doc Sage
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?