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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?      Home login  
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 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 108
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Nope, as I no longer have any that I care about.
 pepperstrand
Joined: 1/25/2015
Msg: 109
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/11/2015 6:20:38 AM
I guess it would depend on the person. If he was sincere and treated me well then maybe. However if he was just yanking my chain on a chat only website with no contact absolutely not. I think I would be uber cautious and question the intentions of said person especially if he broke up with me.
 StarClassic
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 110
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/11/2015 7:15:12 PM
There's one, but she's not an EX.

Given my most recent experience with the current ex, NOT A SNOW BALL'S CHANCE IN HELL.
 VoxClamantis
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 111
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/12/2015 11:37:45 AM
i did, but it was my fault, not hers, that she was an ex.

i had to do a little belly crawling but it was worth it.
 Viper1j
Joined: 2/6/2015
Msg: 112
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/17/2015 8:07:42 PM
Taking an ex back, is like trying to shove poo back in your butt.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 113
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/18/2015 3:27:44 AM
Usually, once a person falls out of love, the love will never come back for that person. It's called "ghostly lover"..... they think about the good times, but forget the bad, the reasons they fell out of love. Those reasons, those bad memories, will surface again if they try to get back together.

This is not the fantasy world of TV and movies. You get one chance with a person in your lifetime.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 114
view profile
History
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/23/2015 4:01:19 AM
I still care for all my exes (lovers, partners and husband) they all contributed to growth in my life in some way... and we've all moved on...
and never would I contemplate getting back with any of them.... and I hope I never bump into them...
In fact there's one, that I chant in the direction of his house most nights "go, be free, get the fruck off the island since you hated being here so much"

he won't though...
::le sigh::
 bAc0nflav0redbac0n
Joined: 10/10/2015
Msg: 115
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/23/2015 4:05:03 AM
No. What's in the past, at least for me, stays there.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 116
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/23/2015 8:30:11 AM
Nope. Once I've closed the door on a relationship, I don't reopen it.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 117
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/23/2015 3:03:04 PM
"Ex you really cared about"-the key here is the phrase is past tense. Cared does not mean currently care. If I do not currently care, it won't matter if the ex currently cares or doesn't care. There's a difference between missing being in a relationship, and missing being in a relationship with an ex. That's a problem a lot of people get into. They miss being in a relationship after splitting up, but if they have no other prospects waiting in the wings, they sometimes jump back in with the ex, without healing and resolving what caused them to split up in the first place.
 IrishBlues4Uv3
Joined: 8/15/2015
Msg: 118
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/24/2015 3:20:40 AM
So yesterday I received an IM from a long ago ex telling me that "in spite of our rocky relationship, she still had feelings for me to the point there had been no others since you(me)." It was '91 when we split. It was right outa left field. She was the single most passionate woman I've ever experienced but oh man could she get things wrong. If she asked, I'd check it out but carefully to make sure she's emotionally right. Had some of the very best and worst times of my life with her but the best were sublime...etched indelibly into my psyche.
We shall see...
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 119
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/24/2015 12:03:41 PM

Nope. Once I've closed the door on a relationship, I don't reopen it.

Ditto. That was then, this is now.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 120
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/24/2015 1:46:12 PM
I did, and it worked out great...we're engaged now.
Lived together 10 years; I did the breaking up.
Apart for a year; he did the pursuing.
He changed...I probably did too. Been back together for a year.
We talked about how we wouldn't make the same mistakes. We haven't.
We appreciate each other and what we have/had.

If you asked me that question last year I would have said "No way, no how, never have, never will".
 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 121
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/24/2015 2:10:57 PM
^^^^
I love this story.

Never wanted to go back to any of my exes, when it was over my heart and mind shut the door. I think I made some hasty decisions, though. Too late for regrets.
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 122
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/24/2015 4:58:54 PM

did, and it worked out great...we're engaged now.
Lived together 10 years; I did the breaking up.
Apart for a year; he did the pursuing.
He changed...I probably did too. Been back together for a year.
We talked about how we wouldn't make the same mistakes. We haven't.
We appreciate each other and what we have/had.

If you asked me that question last year I would have said "No way, no how, never have, never will".


So...why are you still here?

Why are you on a dating site if you guys are back together?

There are thousands of discussion forums on the net....
 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 123
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/24/2015 5:10:50 PM
From her profile:


Consider me invisible, as my profile is hidden.
I am back with the love of my life.
Here for the forums because they're entertaining.
And insomnia. Yup.


This place would not be any fun if it was all grouchy Lonely Hearts.

I, for one, think she's great in Profile Reviews....

But you knew all this, right?
 Looking_4_her_still
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 124
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/24/2015 6:48:07 PM
Past tense "cared about". Depends on circumstances.

Some people would never speak or make eye contact. Others may suck it up and follow the adage "better to be with a devil you know than one you dont". It is scary meeting new people and they need someone in their lives.

Plenty of women go back with abusive spouses, it gives them a sense of completeness.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 125
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/25/2015 7:02:40 AM
Thank you o0BrownEyedGirl0o.
That's very sweet of you.

Paladin,
I'm not on a dating site; I'm in a forum.
Came to the dating site when I was single 2 years ago and found the forums.
Lurked for a while, then found my place in Profile Reviews.
I've never participated in a forum before, so really have no knowledge of others.

I've met some lovely people here and enjoy helping people fix their profiles so they can meet someone wonderful.
Met my guy on Match 12 years ago...so I do believe in this.

Nobody but forum people can see me or message me...I am hidden on the dating side.
This forum is more than just about dating and I have no temptations to look for anyone.
I even changed my name.
Why is that so hard to believe?
 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 126
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/25/2015 7:24:49 AM
Yw, Tater. Your comments in PR have reminded me it is useful to do 'due diligence' also when reviewing profiles, not just on the potential dates in my dating pool.

Personally, I think our Pal is under the influence of Love's first blush and is trying to put order into the world so it makes sense to him. Being on a 'dating site' for any reason (including forum participation only) is just too odd to some people. Kinda like you meet your 'One' and you dump all your friends to be with 'them' exclusively. Not realizing that the 'friends' have sometimes more intrinsic value than a mate. Friends keep you honest.

I'm in the forums recently because the loneliness is nipping at my heels again and it is helping me to gain the perspective and acceptance I need if I am going to give POF a try for the second year. (My first year is almost up.)

But no one has asked me why I am still here :(
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 127
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/25/2015 2:24:12 PM
A popular catch phrase for couples splitting up is: "We grew apart." I never had the growing apart thing happen in any relationship, so I'm not even sure what it means. But regardless, is it possible for couples who grew apart to get back together at some point and grow together instead of apart? Or is the "grow apart" code for: "I would never get back with you, even if you were the last person on Earth"?

Whether a couple could ever get back together would be largely based on the exit strategy employed in the break-up. If a couple had an amicable break-up, there's hope for possibly getting back together at some point. If it was a bitter break-up with a lot of bad blood and hurt feelings, there's no hope-unless they are gluttons for punishment. Another factor is how attached a person is to their baggage, and how long do they want to hang on to it.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 128
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/25/2015 5:34:08 PM
We did beat the odds maleman speaks of.
We really did everything wrong from the volatile break up to the nasty talk.

exactly this:
Likewise, did the breakup... saw other people... got back together... a little rough at first...

And it's been better than before... no signs of strife and going great for a few years now...


It was not all sunshine and roses when we got back together.
Many bumps and fears.
We built something new instead of resurrecting the old.
It was very broken.
Living apart, growing on our own, seeing others....solidified us in the end.
Sometimes you really do need to lose something to see the value.

I regret that we got to the point that we did and hurt each other so deeply, but will never regret the time apart, nor the valuable learning along the way.
Part of the success was actually completely letting go, at least on my part.

And everybody around us sees the difference.
Those who were less than pleased have turned around their opinions...not because we worked to convince them...but because we ignored them and moved forward anyway.

Some of have to learn things the hard way.
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 129
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/25/2015 6:03:23 PM

Likewise, did the breakup... saw other people... got back together... a little rough at first...

And it's been better than before... no signs of strife and going great for a few years now...


Good for you!

All is said and done....but the one thing I'm disapointed about is that the ex never tried once to genuinely reconcile....I was willing......she just wasnt...

Oh well...on to bigger and better things....
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 130
view profile
History
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/25/2015 7:34:12 PM
i miss my ex... and would kill to have conversations like we did back then....
 StumbledN
Joined: 12/20/2014
Msg: 131
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/26/2015 12:24:18 AM
I can think of only one that I would recycle. We had dated many years ago, not long after my divorce, when I was still emotionally unavailable and totally convinced that I would never marry again. We were together 3-4 years but it took me 10 - 12 years to even entertain the notion that marriage might be a possibility for me. Needless to say, I don't blame her for not waiting around that long. Timing is everything.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 132
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/26/2015 4:47:38 AM
^^^ Yes, timing is everything.
*sigh
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?