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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?      Home login  
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 o0BrownEyedGirl0o
Joined: 11/12/2014
Msg: 126
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?Page 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Yw, Tater. Your comments in PR have reminded me it is useful to do 'due diligence' also when reviewing profiles, not just on the potential dates in my dating pool.

Personally, I think our Pal is under the influence of Love's first blush and is trying to put order into the world so it makes sense to him. Being on a 'dating site' for any reason (including forum participation only) is just too odd to some people. Kinda like you meet your 'One' and you dump all your friends to be with 'them' exclusively. Not realizing that the 'friends' have sometimes more intrinsic value than a mate. Friends keep you honest.

I'm in the forums recently because the loneliness is nipping at my heels again and it is helping me to gain the perspective and acceptance I need if I am going to give POF a try for the second year. (My first year is almost up.)

But no one has asked me why I am still here :(
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 127
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/25/2015 2:24:12 PM
A popular catch phrase for couples splitting up is: "We grew apart." I never had the growing apart thing happen in any relationship, so I'm not even sure what it means. But regardless, is it possible for couples who grew apart to get back together at some point and grow together instead of apart? Or is the "grow apart" code for: "I would never get back with you, even if you were the last person on Earth"?

Whether a couple could ever get back together would be largely based on the exit strategy employed in the break-up. If a couple had an amicable break-up, there's hope for possibly getting back together at some point. If it was a bitter break-up with a lot of bad blood and hurt feelings, there's no hope-unless they are gluttons for punishment. Another factor is how attached a person is to their baggage, and how long do they want to hang on to it.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 128
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/25/2015 5:34:08 PM
We did beat the odds maleman speaks of.
We really did everything wrong from the volatile break up to the nasty talk.

exactly this:
Likewise, did the breakup... saw other people... got back together... a little rough at first...

And it's been better than before... no signs of strife and going great for a few years now...


It was not all sunshine and roses when we got back together.
Many bumps and fears.
We built something new instead of resurrecting the old.
It was very broken.
Living apart, growing on our own, seeing others....solidified us in the end.
Sometimes you really do need to lose something to see the value.

I regret that we got to the point that we did and hurt each other so deeply, but will never regret the time apart, nor the valuable learning along the way.
Part of the success was actually completely letting go, at least on my part.

And everybody around us sees the difference.
Those who were less than pleased have turned around their opinions...not because we worked to convince them...but because we ignored them and moved forward anyway.

Some of have to learn things the hard way.
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 129
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/25/2015 6:03:23 PM

Likewise, did the breakup... saw other people... got back together... a little rough at first...

And it's been better than before... no signs of strife and going great for a few years now...


Good for you!

All is said and done....but the one thing I'm disapointed about is that the ex never tried once to genuinely reconcile....I was willing......she just wasnt...

Oh well...on to bigger and better things....
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 130
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Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/25/2015 7:34:12 PM
i miss my ex... and would kill to have conversations like we did back then....
 StumbledN
Joined: 12/20/2014
Msg: 131
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/26/2015 12:24:18 AM
I can think of only one that I would recycle. We had dated many years ago, not long after my divorce, when I was still emotionally unavailable and totally convinced that I would never marry again. We were together 3-4 years but it took me 10 - 12 years to even entertain the notion that marriage might be a possibility for me. Needless to say, I don't blame her for not waiting around that long. Timing is everything.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 132
Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?
Posted: 10/26/2015 4:47:38 AM
^^^ Yes, timing is everything.
*sigh
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Would you go back to an Ex you really cared about?