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 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 129
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Told me to get rid of my petsPage 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
If I am newly dating a man and will tell me to get rid of my cats/dogs /ect., I will tell that I will get rid of him first,because I knew them before him and he has no reason to run my life, he is not paying for the upkeep and food for my pets...
 kclady42
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 130
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/12/2012 10:29:33 AM
Well if you were getting married and he had allergies then yes dump the cats but in a new relationship that may or may not work to begin with i would choose the cats
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 131
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/12/2012 6:54:02 PM
My answer is simple, get rid of the guy. You love and care about animals as much as I do. I would not be with anyone who can not accept my love and care for animals. I live with 4 cats and feed a colony of well taken care of freindly feral cats. If someone can not handle this, then they have no place in my life. They are not right for you. People, such as him will never be right for you. There are alot of men who love cats and animals. Get rid of this moron who only wants to use you for sex and has no feeling or caring for you or the animals you love and care about.
 Jayne0927
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 134
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/13/2012 5:23:50 PM
You knew the answer to your question before you posed it. He sounds heartless and selfish. "Nuff said. BTW I have two cats I consider to be my babies (seeing as I never had any).
 Forereels
Joined: 5/22/2011
Msg: 135
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/13/2012 8:03:49 PM

Animals are full of germs and carry viruses. They should all be dunked in gasoline and set on fire.


You’re going to need a lot of gasoline for that one. Butter or BBQ sauce would taste better imo.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 140
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/15/2012 12:28:27 AM
JUST FIVE! omg; that's a lot of cats. Plus dogs?

I think you are overboard. In fact in some counties in my area you can't have 5 cats.

I personally would not date a woman with five cats. one of two maybe, but five?

lol; he's a jerk but he has good qualities. spoken like a true woman. It's almost as good as the thread that said,"other than a couple times when he's cheated, he's treated me like a queen. "

I hope he knows you are dating other men. Again five cats? too many
 TOEDWY
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 142
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/15/2012 6:54:44 AM
My ex took my dog to the pound when I left town to go to work one time... and that is how she became my ex!? I have no idea how many cats you have but this guy sounds like a douche... especailly with what he said and when he chose to say it.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 143
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/15/2012 9:16:54 AM

Well, if you were getting married and he had allergies,then yes dump the cats but in a new relationship that may or may not work to begin with i would choose the cats.


I would like to share with you forumites ,> I never have a pet in my life nor my family, but when I married my husband with two cats ..............I was allergic to them and I was not happy that they sleep with us.. He never get rid of them and I learned to love them, even I was suffering of sinus and always vacuming every day...
If the man I want to marry is allergic to cats or dogs ,then he has to look elsewhere..
Me, I will not get involve with a person who has snakes as a pet or crocodiles or any exotic animals...........
 Hump_Dz_E
Joined: 10/20/2011
Msg: 145
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/15/2012 12:41:04 PM
The way I see it. The guy is just being an ASS. U as a person should never give up your animals for no one , unless that's what you want to do, to keep that individual/s. As for me, I love animals. I'm just allergic to them. Literally, allergic to any animals with fur, especially cats. I can't see someone getting rid of their pet (long friend/ family member) for me. So, personally that's someone u shouldn't be with. If u still want
to keep in contact with him as friends...cool. But, as a mate....nahhhh!!!! There will always be others out there that can deal with this situation way better than him. Gdluck to u n the other person that should ever come into your life n yours pet lives as well.
 ocalasun
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 147
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/18/2012 2:58:52 PM
older and been there.

next is your best girlfriend. he wont like her either. next is your family. next is your other girlfriends. next you wont be allowed out of the house. next you wont be able to drive by yourself.

sound like a cage????

run. run fast. run far.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 148
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/18/2012 3:24:09 PM
Maybe hes one of those picky people who doesnt like living in a house that is plastered in animal faeces and bacteria lol

Seriously, well, just more seriously really as the first one was only a half joke.

Despite having pets constantly for the first 35 years of my life after a decade of not being tied down by any I dont think I could go back to having any of my own or entering into a serious relationship with someone who did

But it seems odd for someone to know the score and appear to not have any problems initially so my guess is that theres far more to this than either youre telling us or that youre even aware of

Either he had a different problem and just used that excuse rather than hurt your feelings with the truth or it was a bit more than a cat just walking over his motorbike that made him change his view would be my two most likely guesses

As for men and cats, a lot of gay men seem to like cats. And at least some straight ones do too, with many others tolerating them to varying degrees

I personally dont mind them, but after watching a show that showed the amount of germs, bacteria and mites that cats deposit around a house as well as the fact they leave fecal matter pretty much everywhere they walk, sit or sleep I wouldnt really want to spend too much time in a house where cats had a free run and certainly wouldnt want to sleep on a bed that cats were allowed onto nor a settee they were allowed to sleep on anymore

So it would seem that despite what is often claimed by women on these forums men dont want "any" **** after all
 onehappyfellow
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 150
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 2/19/2012 4:31:40 PM
I would have no respect for a woman who would dump her pets.

On the other hand I live in a smoke and pet free house, my choice, my right, and I intend to keep it that way. No smoke and no pets in my house

Please do not accuse me of being a pet hater. I always have treats with me for my many pet friends

I was a care giver and patient advocate of my wife for over 17 years. I have no desire to become a care giver for a pet of any kind.

Pets are a responsibility I choose to be free of.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 152
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/27/2013 11:31:41 AM

I can't imagine someone heartless enough to think you can just dump a pet like it's a piece of garbage. It's no different than having a child in my book. People have to be sociopaths to even think that makes sense. My 16 year old cat just died and she was the best friend you could ever hope for. I'm honestly not sure how to go on properly without her around. She was one of a kind.


I just lost one of mine to a coyote the other night, heard the cat/animal fight noise and ran outside to hear his dying sounds as it took him off (back to it's den probably). The house is obscenely quiet, I keep expecting him to show up talking up a storm wanting attention... been hard weekend for me. The two others are being way more attentive to me. Someone telling me I "had" to give them up for them? Yeah, no thanks, the cats can stay, you can go.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 153
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/27/2013 12:37:57 PM

Am I just doomed to failed dating as long as I have cats?


Never and he is a jerk. If you're a cat or dog person, you're already aces in my book. The only problem I could see is I might be talking to your animals and be unintentionally ignoring you.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 154
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/27/2013 4:28:04 PM
I haven't read this whole thread-but I recall on the first page the OP asked if all men hate cats...
I think the last 3 posts before mine prove that this is not the case.
cw and forums, I'm deeply sorry to hear of the loss of your cats.

Any man who told me to get rid of my pet(s) would be politely but firmly told to exit my life. If it was because of allergies that would be regrettable,but if/until such a time comes that I'm forced to live in a no-pets-allowed environment,I like having four-legged family.
Hell, if men were as drawn to me as dogs,cats and horses seem to be, I'd be all set...
Cindy O
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 155
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/27/2013 5:11:42 PM
Thanks ladyc4 & cw. It's been hard cw - I've lost older pets like yours, to age or illness, and you are somewhat prepared for the eventuality by then. This hit me like a ton of bricks, he was only like 6-7yrs old (he was abandoned so that was the vet's best guess), in the "prime of his life" so to speak, healthy and obviously happy with his 'new home & family'... and poof, gone. It's been far harder for me than just about any pet loss in my life. And of course now I won't let my other two out because I'm too afraid of what might happen, even though I know they want to.
 QT3.18
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 156
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/27/2013 5:29:06 PM
The only thing he would be hearing is my laughter as I shuffled him out my door and out of my life.

There wouldn't even be a discussion.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 157
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Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/27/2013 5:39:51 PM
He wouldn't be a potential mate for me if he felt like this.
Yes, it is a control issue-especially this early in the relationship.
You do have a lot of cats. Five cats, is not "just " 5-even if 3 are always outside. But as long as you take care of them that's your business.
You are not doomed, but the number of pets you have will make it more difficult for you.
He is a jerk though and the real question would be do whst ever "good" qualities he has more than make up for him being a jerk? Only you can answer that.
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 158
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/27/2013 5:51:34 PM
Years ago I had 2 cats and a potential long term mate. He knew better than to ask if the cats could go...he knew he would go first. After a while, he learned to love them too.
 PA_DancingBear
Joined: 5/23/2013
Msg: 159
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/27/2013 8:12:05 PM
That is really a dhead move to ask someone to give up a pet. I have severe allergic reactions to some cats -- so much so that I can be in respiratory distress in less than 30 minutes. For some reason cats can sense this and the buggers are friendly to me lol.

My reactions don't stop me from visiting I care about though. My grandparents had them -- kinda sucked I had to sit on the porch a good part of the visit even in winter. I don't stop visiting friends with cats either, but I need to keep my visits short. A man has gotta do what a man has to do.

Now, having a lady move in with me it could provide a challenge. Perhaps an area could be set aside for the critter, but I'm not sure that would completely help as air is circulated through the ventilation system.

Hopefully I could work out something with an SO that her having cats is not a deal killer. I would probably have to give up my man cave home theatre with the projector and beautiful screen. The basement is the only area without air intakes.

Lol, that had better win me STUPENDOUSLY MASSIVE points with an SO...
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 160
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/27/2013 9:34:46 PM
you need to get rid of your cats. It's a deal breaker."
----------------------------------------------
This statement right here is a controlling movement. When someone is telling you what you need to do, instead of you thinking for yourself about what you want to do. That's a control issue, I advise you to cut dating this dude.
 TheWindingRoad
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 161
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/27/2013 11:26:13 PM
Well the op is long gone, but I'll add my 2 cents to this thread...I would never tell anyone now they "had" to get rid of pets, (I did once, for good reason, see below) especially as the op was "in the business" and let the cats roam outside as a compromise, however, speaking from experience, people can get spooked a bit when there are more than a few animals because things can get out of control, so I can see how it can become a deal breaker, depending.

My exwife & I had several cats that eventually turned in to 15-20+ because a.) they weren't all fixed & b.)"1 more stray would come around", then another, then c.) people thought we were the local "shelter" & dumped them. Although we only allowed 3 or 4 of the original ones in the house it was none the less maddening. Mind you this occurred over a period of years, I looked the other way for far too long and in as much as I wanted to help these animals, it was total insanity. I couldn't get out the kitchen door because they were all trying to get in, get food etc. The screen door & multiple window sctreens were completely destroyed, & the icing on the cake was when I tripped over several of them and went down a flight of stairs. (among many other issues), but I digress.

It turned in to a war that I never heard the end of when I finally gave her the ultimatum to start getting rid of most of them. I then became the "bad guy", but although the count would drop because she found some of them homes, it would be back up again a few months later. When we moved, is when I told her only the 2 remaining indoor cats could come, all hell broke loose. By that time I was so fed up with cats that Irefused to buy the food, etc. etc. I really didn't care if I ever saw another one.

So fast forward many years later, a girl friend I was seeing had 5 cats, so I was a bit concerned, well then they had kittens & then there were 7, but I didn't live there so it didn't get to me as bad., and they were going to new homes supposedly. When I stayed over, I did tell her I can't deal with the kittens knocking everything over in the middle of the night & walking all over me when I'm sleeping, so they stayed out of the bedroom, but invaribaly they would get in from either of us going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, so the cat olympics would begin. While this was not the primary factor in ending the relationship, it was a contibuting factor and it would have bacame an even bigger issue down the road.

Now, I will make it clear that if you have a pet, especially cats, there needs to be an understanding because I will never deal with living in a "zoo" again, ever.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 162
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/28/2013 4:08:18 AM

because a.) they weren't all fixed


Well, there's a problem right there. Any pet I get, gets a visit to the vet within a few weeks (and will get fixed shortly thereafter as long as its not a too-young kitten which might take a few months) - if it's going to be mingling with my existing cats it needs to be tested for FIV/FLV at least (and checked for any other potential issues), and get its shots.

Overall though, it sounds like you've picked basically incompatible partners when it comes to animals. Nobody here is saying you are wrong for ending the relationship(s) with them, that is of course your decision, as it is theirs to end the relationship if they don't think it's going to work as well. And there is a big difference between "making it clear there is an understanding" (ie, voicing your opinion so they understand where you are coming from) and the OP which was an "ultimatum/demand".
 mereimont
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 163
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 5/28/2013 12:37:11 PM
I love my pets. I don't care what his good qualities are, he could be gone in 2 months. Your babies are forever loyal, and will never forget you. I'd tell my new love to ****off and never call me again.
 Celina1991
Joined: 5/19/2013
Msg: 164
Told me to get rid of my pets
Posted: 7/6/2013 4:49:09 PM
Good for you! I'd tell him to get lost! If a guy can't accept my dog, Ginny, then he's not for me! She was in my life first!
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