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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious      Home login  
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 4ever4real
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 76
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxiousPage 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Ha Ha! Clitoris stimulation is part of the package but it don’t feel half as good unless it includes having the vagina massaged by your partners erection, and vagina orgasms are awesome! So I still think if a guy isn’t up front that is a turn off; I'd be moving on! It has to do with a connection of your bodies, and I don’t plan on missing out on that anytime soon!
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 77
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 7:12:52 AM

Not true. In my state, we don't have women in store front windows displaying themselves naked for all comers prior to purchase. Men don't see women naked in locker rooms here, either. We see them naked usually for the first time when we bed them and sometimes the bodies are attractive, sometimes not.


I can pretty much tell if a man has a hot body or not without him having to take his clothes off especially if he is wearing skinny jeans or yoga pants..
 Ashburnguy99
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 78
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 9:49:26 AM

If a guy cant get it on he needs to say up front! how can he expect anyone to want to carry on? I think that its deceitful, and I would run from that like a bat outta hell! if he anit up front about that what else is he hiding?


Not sure what you mean by telling a woman "up front", but if a man says to a woman, "I'd like to go out with you, but just so you know, I have ED and can't always get a full or firm erection", 99% of the women he asked would be turned off by that. That would only serve to reinforce the stereotype that men are only interested in sex, and I'm guessing would come across as kind of creepy. You apparently are the other 1%, and would consider it good info to know before you went out on a date with someone.

I'm not even sure how a man would bring it up before it was obvious that the relationship was becoming sexual. That would be like telling a woman on a first date "just in case we end up having sex, I brought some condoms with me". That is also good info to know, but IMHO would be inappropriate to blurt out unless you were getting ready to have sex.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 79
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 11:28:06 AM
^^I have to agree with you. Plus the fact that the majority of women posting on this thread don't seem to have an ounce of empathy and some of the comments are downright crass.

And I'm wondering if half the women on here tell their dates up front that "I'm menopausal and b!tchy as hell" "I haven't enjoyed sex since Clinton was in office" "I'm as dry as a desert down there" "don't touch me with that thing" "all you do is think of sex" blah, blah, blah. Women have just as many, if not more, issues in the bedroom as men. The mind and desire is there and sometimes the body let's us down.

This topic is best handled in an adult manner, up front, no throwing stones or blaming. Get help, it is available. Understand the situation. If a female can't show some respect and empathy and understanding of the situation she is being selfish and juvenile at best.

A woman can fake sex, desire, and orgasm - men can't. There are many women that act all hot to trot and when they have reeled in their fish - no more sex.

Basically what I'm saying is show a little respect for an issue that no one wants. It's a couple's issue.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 80
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 11:52:04 AM
I think that some women should disclose they use avoidance of sex as a weapon during the first phone call if not announce it in their profile...then 99.9% of all men can avoid them....let's see...if 99.9% of all men avoid 99.9% of all women...then...
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 81
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 12:00:26 PM

think that some women should disclose they use sex as a weapon

There use to be a term used..years ago..."punish Fukk" is that the same thing?
 4ever4real
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 82
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 12:42:26 PM
So its ok for a guy to wait untill a chick is ready for the big one and then say...Oh BTW? LOL! Ok how about this... is it ok to ask a guy if he is functioning at full capacity? If a guy meets a chick who could care less about sex then fine, but what about the ones who still want it? Not all women who are menopausal are dry as a dessert ****es who dont want anything to do with a guy touching them, as described above. If I felt that way I would not even be dating, and I certainly would not be on a dating web site!
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 83
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 12:45:26 PM

I think that some women should disclose they use avoidance of sex as a weapon during the first phone call if not announce it in their profile...then 99.9% of all men can avoid them....let's see...if 99.9% of all men avoid 99.9% of all women...then...


Well I posted am interested in being friends first and that eliminated just about all of the men online.. However in person I have absolutely no problem with those that ask me out when I tell them that.. It is not a disinterest it is an interest in finding out if we are a good match first before any intimacy takes place.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 84
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 12:51:55 PM
Msg. 89, I have often read in the forums where a woman could give a damn about sex, doesn't want or need it - yet they are looking for dates or ltr's. Put the shoe on the other foot, why should a man invest his time, energy and money on some woman and find out that she could give a rat's azz about sex because she either doesn't want to or has issues with it physically.

There is a whole thread regarding celibacy - some are holding out for the perfect relationship and some don't want sex again...period.

So if you want to go out with a guy and ask during dinner whether his "johnson" is working to full capacity - be prepared to answer the same type of question from him.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 85
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 1:13:19 PM

It is not a disinterest it is an interest in finding out if we are a good match first before any intimacy takes place.


I'm confuded...a man should tell you up front he has ED...but, he has to wait till intimacy happens to find your nic is Sahara???as in dry as...really, all this to do about sexual compatability before one actually tries sex...is just so...COLD...it's one big turn off...

Personally, I love the flirtatious innuendo's that go back and forth as an indicator of sexual compatability-that ocurs before that first time....no mechanics please...just innuendo....And The Bishop feels the same way!
 Bostonia2012
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 86
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 1:41:09 PM
4ever4real, I get it that you like vaginal sex and I get it that you would handily reject any man that couldn't give it to you. That's fine, but I don't hear anything there except your own preferences.

Let me ask, if you were married and your husband developed ED, then I assume you would handily reject and divorce him?
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 87
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History
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 2:08:05 PM

Msg. 89, I have often read in the forums where a woman could give a damn about sex, doesn't want or need it - yet they are looking for dates or ltr's. Put the shoe on the other foot, why should a man invest his time, energy and money on some woman and find out that she could give a rat's azz about sex because she either doesn't want to or has issues with it physically.


That was the only coffee meet and greet that I got up and walk out on..but I had no idea before the meet.

Met this woman off of POF for coffee. Within the first 15 minutes, I was advised that she does not want sex, she has a vibrator for that, she wanted someone to take her places, specifically a cruise, and then be her LTR.

She wanted a sugar daddy, and had to candy in exchange. I was dumbfounded to say the least and since she dominated the conversation, I had to interject; "Sorry, this is never going to work out here." I got up and walk out.

Eh, the coffee was good.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 88
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 2:11:49 PM

I was advised that she does not want sex, she has a vibrator for that, she wanted someone to take her places, specifically a cruise, and then be her LTR.


There ya go...the stupid shyte some people will say to a stranger...did you tell her your name was BOB???
 LuvADKs
Joined: 8/31/2011
Msg: 89
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 4:16:12 PM
Here's a thought - after you go out and you're on your first date (wait till dessert) Tell the guy - Ya know, there's nothing that turns me off more than a Limp-Dick sum-bittch. Than tell him you need to powder your nose. If he's still there when you get back, maybe he's good to go!

 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 90
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 4:26:06 PM
4ever4real, I tried to email this but your filter blocked me. In your interests, you might want to change GRADENING to GARDENING. Or not as you please.
 4ever4real
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 91
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 4:27:47 PM
Bostonia If I was married to a guy and that became an issue we would find out what was going on and see if we could address the issue. I have actually met guys who do have ED and they just dont do anything about it. So if a guy is out trying to date and he knows he has ED I would hope he tried to address it! And I would not bring it up on the first date... i would wait till the next day on the phone! no just kidding! I would have to ask sooner or later!

Thanks BBE anymore edits?
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 92
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 4:28:38 PM

Bostonia2012:
Let me ask, if you were married and your husband developed ED, then I assume you would handily reject and divorce him?


Maybe, or she could buy him a strap-on too.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 93
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 4:39:30 PM
I had to check and make sure this was the over 45 group based on this page of replies...seriously some of you people have the compassion of a gnat.

For others, each and every forum post is about how someone else is doing something wrong and so this validates or OK's others to do such and such...IT DOESN'T!

If a woman or a man has sexual issues then it is his / her RESPONSIBILITY to address them and advice any potential guys/ gals of their existence!

Men if you have a problem you can address it upfront, in a way that preserves your dignity and allows the woman to make the decision that she wish to continue seeing you. I had a guy just ad a one line statement at the bottom of his third or fourth email. "Just for the record I have no interest in anal." It wasn't insulting to me or him, his way of telling me that if that was an activity I wanted to enjoy with a man that he wasn't going to be the man for me. No harm no foul...I had a man tell me he had issues with ED but when we met it wasn't an issue and I really think it was the positive reinforcement he got from me that it was about him and I being together than about the sex.

The worse possible thing would be to wait until the lady in question wants to have sex with you and tell her of the issue, she will feel lead on and confused about why it wasn't broached earlier, she will loose both faith and trust in you and it will make your own view of the issue worse.

If I was in love with a man and he wasn't able to perform then I don't think it would be an issue cause he was who I loved and as one post went into detail there are other good ways to deal with things. I would request he do everything possible to fix the situation but if it didnt work out Im not going to leave a man I love.

One of the best parts of life is sex with the right person, why a couple would not work to make sure it can happen I have no clue but from the sound on the forums I would guess there is a lot of really frustrated people on here.
 gregorykaye
Joined: 4/14/2010
Msg: 94
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 8:16:03 PM
Hey, Hugh Heffner said that Viagra was the best recreational drug ever made.
That being said even if your stiffy needs a little help, why not? I know of guys in their 30's that use it just to enhance things. One of them told me he gets so hard he can't blink his eyes
 FreschFisch
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 95
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/17/2012 8:22:43 PM
My thoughts exactly Greg... haha

Next problem!
 Bostonia2012
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 96
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/18/2012 7:09:14 AM
Giggles100000, nice reply.

The thing that is so surprising about these posts is how people can get "surprised" at all, isn't there some kind of process involved in getting physical with someone? This is strangers having sex with strangers, of course there would be surprises, pleasant or unpleasant.

I should probably add a few lines to my profile, like "by the way, I don't do bestiality". No harm, no foul. That way a woman would feel "safe" with me around her dog. :-)
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 97
view profile
History
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/18/2012 6:43:03 PM

... Oh and are you on HRT?


So, what if a man is on HRT? If he is his testosterone levels will be higher than most men his age. Would you consider this a problem? From the way women write I would think they would welcome the possibility.
 4ever4real
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 98
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/18/2012 6:48:12 PM
HRT causes cancer! No one should take it!

Senunique: your condition is a unique. I hope you are doing ok. If I were married to a man who got ill I would stick with thim through thick and thin. God Bless you!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 99
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/18/2012 7:24:52 PM
risingmist
There is another wonderful treatment for ED and it is instantaneous and also has other health benefits for men, and that is the testosterone patch. My friend first tried a monthly testosterone injection and that brought him back to the performance level of a healthy 20 year old, within one hour. Yet it requires a clinic visit. What he round instead, was the testosterone patch. It is applied once every 24 hours on the back or shoulder, and it does the trick.

It also contributes to the decrease of depression and bone (no pun intended) loss, also associated with lowered testosterone. When he was tested, his body was only producing 20% of the testosterone required for health. The patch worked immediately and brought the levels back up to normal. Portable, waterproof, skin colored, undetectable and no incidencies of the 24 hour erection, etc.


This is 100% the best answer, yet a lot of men won't do anything about it.

Of course obese men, diabetes. high blood pressure can also cause ED.

Normal levels of are testosterone can be tricky to discuss with a regular doctor. Fact is the medical profession uses a range of normal levels that takes into account 20-90 year old men. Levels like 350-1000 (ng/dl) are considered "normal". But a man would feel best closer to 700-900 ng/dl.

The patch is one method of HRT, weekly intramuscular injections of 100-150-175 milligrams testosterone enanthanate,which releases slowly is a better method.

The best IMO in Nebido, which is more expensive than testosterone enanthanate, but only needs to be injected every 3 months. Nebido also releases slower into the blood stream creating a more even release of testosterone. Nebido is not available in the USA, it is available in 86 countries and with a prescription can be ordered over the internet. I think it is available in Canada and Mexico.

I don't think I ever had ED, since I could perform, but never really tested that out with someone I was highly compatible prior to HRT with to test the difference in frequency in a single night.

I stated dating again in 2009, I went on HRT a week after my first date. It makes a huge difference in my mood, energy levels and libido.

But it is also true that men are greatly affected by confidence and the emotional bond they have with their partner, so that can also affect performance.

The only downside to HRT outside of the expense is now I think about sex off and one the whole day, nearly the same as when I was in my 20s, and at times this gets annoying.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 100
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/18/2012 8:02:05 PM
Cancer and testosterone, no real link. If a man already has prostate cancer, then it is possible testosterone can make it grow faster. But read the latest.

But amid often-confusing testosterone research results, there are hints that Morgentaler and like-minded physicians may be on to something. In the test tube, prostate cancer cells have been shown to grow faster when testosterone is added, but only up to a point. Then the growth plateaus, even if more testosterone is added.

In 2006, Morgentaler co-wrote a study on 345 men with low testosterone. The study -- published in the journal Urology and not industry funded -- showed prostate cancer risk was higher in men with the lowest testosterone, a finding supported by a handful of other small-scale studies using human subjects.

That was contrary to findings suggested by the Physicians' Health Study in 1996, a discrepancy doctors cannot fully explain. And in February, an analysis of data from 18 studies around the world involving nearly 4,000 men with prostate cancer, and more than 6,000 without, showed no correlation between high testosterone levels and cancer risk. The study was published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute.
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