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 AUTHOR
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 27
Will I be getting played by this girl?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Make sure the ex isn't moonlighting as a Mafia hit man in his spare time.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 29
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 11:17:42 AM

Met a very attractive, outgoing chick through a good guy friend of mine….Double date on my first meetup with all 4 of us there. On the way, my buddy tells me that this girl im meeting is still talking to her ex. Saying things like "I've got him right where I want him" which is in reference to her ex.


Good grief with this. If your supposed friend knew she’s still messing with her ex, why did he set you up with her in the first place? Yet, SHE’S the bad guy, right?

Sounds like you should upgrade your friends. He set you up, all right, and you LET HIM.


...pulled all the usual gentleman moves...


 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 33
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 1:42:47 PM
if she's hot..catch her on the rebound..and bang her brains out..you may never get a 2nd chance..
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 35
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 4:13:50 PM

HockeyFF:Here's the problem with a lot of you POF people. You guys throw extreme judgement down without knowing all the fine details. He did not know about this until during the car ride to the date. All three of them were riding in the car together and I was coming in my car.

He didn't set me up. lol. Jesus...


At the very least he didn't do his homework.

The net effect is still the same.

Some friend.

 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 37
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 5:43:09 PM
She's playing a big game w/her ex, why would you be treated any different? She's playing this game as a way to manipulate him into wanting her. Walk away before you get attached, she'll play you just like she is playing him.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 39
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 6:33:45 PM

Here's the problem with a lot of you POF people. You guys throw extreme judgement down without knowing all the fine details.


Asking why your buddy set you up with a woman who’s messing with her ex is “extreme judgment”?

What’s the point of this thread? You ask the obvious, then go ahead down the road to being played while pretending you’re the one doing the playing.

 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 41
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 6:52:23 PM
"On the way, my buddy tells me that this girl im meeting is still talking to her ex."

Ahhh, I would have said, drop me off at the next corner, I'll catch a cab home!

Why, oh why do guys start things with someone who obviously has an outside agenda? There is nothing there, "I've got him right where I want him" means you start out running second to her obvious plans. She isn't meeting you objectively, only subjectively to further her plans to either undo or convince her ex of something.

Wake up pal, your being played.
 ConnCat
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 43
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History
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 8:22:29 PM

have you tried co cky and funny?


I see you've read some of Mr. DeAngelo's writings, MutedEnthusiasm!
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 44
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Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 9:30:30 PM


Yes. The more we talk the more we have in common. I'm treading treacherous waters for sure. I'm playing things extremely laid back and letting her compliment me, and come onto me. I feed her little rewards of praise when I am rewarded. LOL. I sound like a tool there but I have to be cautious with this one for sure.


Seems to me a lot people in this forum are maggots and only offer criticism and negativity to legit questions. Happened to me last night. But I'll shoot straight with you. You are treading in dangerous territory IF you're the type that falls hard and easily for women that rev your motor. So if you are, get that in check before you continue on.

Here's what I would do if I were in your position. And, I have been before.

Be mentally disciplined and stay even keeled at all times. Do NOT take her seriously until you've slept with her, and do NOT get heavier than her. Let her ex act like the needy wuss bag while you act attractive by being cool, funny, and even keeled. If you do make it to the bedroom with her, do everything in your power to give her better sex than she got from the ex. You'll probably only get one chance, and it could be her deciding factor. So make it count. The odds are, he wasn't that good in this department.

And keep this in your head at all times: She is purely entertainment until you sleep with her, AND she gets emotionally heavy with you. It is possible to for you to replace her ex. But know full well, at this stage, she WILL be comparing you to him in everything you do.
 Axwell
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 45
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Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/7/2012 11:15:07 PM
Pure ****ing brillance in a post.

Above me that is.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 46
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/8/2012 10:47:30 AM
"Seems to me a lot people in this forum are maggots and only offer criticism and negativity to legit questions."

Gee, that sounds nice!

So in answer to the question in the title "Will I be getting played by this girl?", you propose he play her! Nice!

Your answer is to keep his emotions out of the relationship until X happens. X being sleeping with her and out performing her ex. Gotta luv an attitude like that.

So if he proceeds with your plan, neither is real, she is using him to get something from her ex and he is trying to control her with sex.

Wouldn't it be simpler to find an available woman without the hangups of an ex?
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 47
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Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/8/2012 10:49:46 AM
Anyone that would say "Ive got him right where I want him" does not deserve the time of day, very very childish
keep away!!!!
 Randal5
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 48
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/8/2012 12:20:00 PM
HockeyFF...Your friend supplied you with important information if you were looking for a serious relationship from the outset. Things have changed since my prime dating age...back in the day (late 60's early 70's).....a date was just a date and sometimes friends would take the same girl out. I remember once swapping dates with my best friend (the girls were best friends and we switched pairings the next Saturday). There are few clean breaks in relationships and most everyone carries some baggage. How many people would seem attractive if we did have their complete resume? Proceed with caution, but the information you have could be the only thing that kills this potential relationship.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 49
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Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/8/2012 8:49:57 PM

"Seems to me a lot people in this forum are maggots and only offer criticism and negativity to legit questions."

Gee, that sounds nice!

Exactly what YOU are doing right here. No advice, just criticism.


So in answer to the question in the title "Will I be getting played by this girl?", you propose he play her! Nice!

If the guy actually likes her, how in the HELL is that "playing" her? I advised that his ONLY chance is to get his emotions in check, remain even keeled, and DO NOT reveal any wussy neediness to her, or he's done for.


Your answer is to keep his emotions out of the relationship until X happens. X being sleeping with her and out performing her ex. Gotta luv an attitude like that.

"Luv" it or hate it, it's the only attitude that stands a chance in his situation. He asked for advice. I gave it. The fact that you dislike this is the reason you watch from the sidelines scratching your head while other people win.


So if he proceeds with your plan, neither is real, she is using him to get something from her ex and he is trying to control her with sex.

What's not real about it? He likes her. She likes him enough to give him a chance to sink or swim. He'll be much more attractive to her than her ex, which means she very well might permanently put the ex behind her in favor of the new guy. If she sleeps with him, he has a chance. He just has to do everything right. What he's attempting to do is dangerous to his own heart for sure. No doubt about it. My advice is not for the weak minded. There are positives that can come from all this. It will be a good learning experience for him in what works and what doesn't.

The KEY to this whole thing is to cause her to feel more attracted to him than the ex, and to stay that way. It's really that simple. And the advice I gave is very likely the ONLY way to produce those results.


Wouldn't it be simpler to find an available woman without the hangups of an ex?


Sure. But he asked for some advice, and I gave mine. Tear this apart some more if you like.
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 52
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/9/2012 9:01:35 AM
OP:
Man up, and she will give you a chance and maybe forget about her ex. You heard about her "still talking about her ex" from your buddy who heard it from his girl who heard it from her friend, so basically 2 girls were talking and 1 still talks about her ex. Sounds normal to me.

Just be yourself and see where it goes, without expectation. Maybe after a couple of dates your friend will say "Wow, she's always talking about you". Never mention the ex when talking to her.

There are a lot of lonely people on this board, and misery loves company. Did you expect to hear any thing different as far as advice goes?
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 59
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/9/2012 7:22:21 PM
This is easy.
Don't get emotionally involved.
Just like... ANY other girl you first start dating!

If she's hot, why run? Get your jollies and go from there.

The POF peeps' criticism is one thing, but assumptions about your immediate emotional attachment are preposterous, since they don't know you from Adam.

If you are really the type that gets emotionally attached to girls right away, then you probably shouldn't be dating in the first place. A good chunk of women out there want you to fall hard so they can dictate the terms of the relationship.

Don't let that happen to ya!
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 60
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/9/2012 7:39:36 PM
she's still hanging with the ex? Run for hills OP. Don't get attached.
 Jayne0927
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 61
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History
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/9/2012 8:34:32 PM
1. Why "play it cool"? Why keep your conversation spare?

2. You say you like this girl, but be careful. If she's still connected in any way with the ex, you're going to end up on the short end of the stick.
 Randal5
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 63
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/10/2012 8:41:09 AM
Arlo... only three consecutive post? I'm sure your ego bank could handle a few more.
 Randal5
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 66
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/11/2012 1:46:01 PM
Arlo, I will give "precious" back to you if you stop with the emoticons.
 Bee_Woods
Joined: 2/7/2012
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/11/2012 2:21:33 PM
She dont sound like ah keeper or ah girl you bring home to meet your mom lol. bootycall is what her name should be in your phone lol, if shes "very attractive and out going" why not be her back up guy.. an just live life an have fun...dont sound like shes playing you if you already got tha inside scoup from your homie bout how she is.. ball in your court. play tha game
 part deux
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 68
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/11/2012 5:22:08 PM
Maybe she is just angry and hurt, and said something stupid to her friend to soothe her own ego. If you like her, take it slow, see how it goes. You can try to 'play' her if you like, but is that the kind of person you want to be?
 raid_on_me
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 69
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/11/2012 5:29:32 PM
I definitely wouldn't call her. Let her call you. She is not over her ex.
 SweetenedMNLady
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 71
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/12/2012 10:55:32 AM
Too funny.

Arrogance doesn't make for a healthy relationship, does it. This girl needs the humble stick up the side of the head no matter how attractive she is.
 0gental1
Joined: 5/23/2010
Msg: 74
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History
Will I be getting played by this girl?
Posted: 2/12/2012 7:50:47 PM
Well if your coming here for that advice go with your gut an x could complicate and end up having strings attached, also you want what you want. Is the girl you want someone you want talking to her x? also go with your gut if you made out the first night not a bad idea but how do you know it wouldn’t end up trying to base a relationship of sex or if she’s tagging you along tell her x knows she is playing head games. And has him where she wants him, bors before hoes your boy told you she was talking to her x to warn you. So use the above as a warning. Good luck!
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