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 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 101
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I have been looking through profiles over on Match, trying to see if I wanted to invest in a 3 month subscription. I just saw this on a woman’s profile there:


WTH? LOLOL This coming from a 63 year old crybaby.

he on Oct 11:

Very interesting pictures... you seem very different in a nice way.

she on Oct 13:

I try to be straight forward. Some say blunt.
Thanks and same to you. Why different? Love your dogs btw. So nice to see them wearing life jackets.

he Oct 13:

Just seems that so many of these profiles start to look the same after a while and I thought yours was different.


she on Oct 13:

Yes some now and again grab my attention.

he Oct 13:

I can't tell if you are interested or not... I live inside the loop near e's... how about you?

she Oct 13:

I just got home. We can always see how it goes

he Oct 13:

You're going to have to get a lot more into this for me to stay interested...

she Oct 13:

Ok then. No Thank you and good luck

he Oct 14:

That's okay you're too old and too short anyway

she Oct 14:

Class act.



I found this to be an interesting perspective on OLD from a woman’s point of view.

The really bad part, the woman in question is 9 years younger, very pretty (and a GREAT body).
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 102
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 12/22/2014 3:15:08 PM
^^^^^ Yeah…that’s the really bad part. If she was old fat and ugly, then a guy being lame and then abusive doesn’t matter. :/
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 103
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 12/22/2014 4:54:01 PM
I have never been on a first meet where the guy didn't want to see me again, and tbh I don't really credit the location of the meet for that, lol.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 104
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 12/22/2014 6:03:36 PM
I found this to be an interesting perspective on OLD from a woman’s point of view.

The really bad part, the woman in question is 9 years younger, very pretty (and a GREAT body).


The guy wasn't able to hold her interest conversationally. He really didn't answer her question, thus, she didn't feel a pressing need to answer his question.

I've lost interest in men whose responses didn't seem substantive enough, or who gave evasive answers to my questions, or didn't answer them at all.

When they were dismissed, they often said something negative about my age or my appearance. Well, dude, if you didn't like curly hair, why did you contact me to begin with ????
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 105
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 12/23/2014 6:16:29 PM
Halcyon, I agree. And as for the ones that suggest we "take a ride to someplace more private......" BYE!
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 106
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Coffeee meets are so passe
Posted: 5/30/2018 4:20:27 AM

You meet and say hello. You chat and see if there is any basic chemistry.... without that why bother?



but MOST meet and greets amount to nothing, as there is no chemistry...


What's the point? I have better things to do with my time than meet some non-commital knob who flits around from one corner cafe to the next, meeting people they're really not interested in because they don't have anything else better to do with their time.

A $20 booty call for a paper cup - cup of coffee of $2? Even if I were in the mood for a quick piece of a$$, I wouldn't accept it from a guy with beer-stained jersey, who thinks a two-dollar paper cup of coffee is payment for my glorious services.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 107
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Coffeee meets are so passe
Posted: 5/30/2018 6:49:55 AM
Coffee dates are fine if there is mutual attaction.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 108
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Coffeee meets are so passe
Posted: 5/30/2018 8:04:06 AM
How chemistry decides the success of a first date

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/feb/08/the-science-of-seduction-dating-guide
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 111
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/8/2018 5:03:59 PM
I always get a coffee when on a coffee date, i class that as success. Oh, and the guy always offers to pay ...so double success.
Free coffee for life if you remain single and go on constant coffee dates.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 112
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/8/2018 9:05:27 PM
Holy Cow... What is your problem??????? Don't you date out of coffee shops???????
Maybe it's time you did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's the point of this thread.... Where else to go? Not bashing the OP!

--------------good grief, are you as dumb as you imply?
you have been given several ideas.
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 113
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/9/2018 4:22:08 AM
It's hard enough to actually convince a woman on her to agree to meet for a coffee, so really don't know as I've not yet had a real meetup from this site.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 114
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/9/2018 9:49:44 AM

feirene
I always get a coffee when on a coffee date, i class that as success. Oh, and the guy always offers to pay ...so double success.
Free coffee for life if you remain single and go on constant coffee dates.

Jeez, I get free coffee at work, but they still have to pay me to show up.

Wait, wait, what did I just say??? Forget I said that!


CBG77
How chemistry decides the success of a first date

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/feb/08/the-science-of-seduction-dating-guide

Interesteing read, and not very long. The only thing that was “new” to me was the part about the language. And it makes sense, if you think about it. I did like this paragraph:


And bad news chaps – if you're looking for a lady it could be tough. Women were found to report clicking less frequently than men. "The women are the empowered party," says Jurafsky.

Well golly gee whiz! As if anyone who had been doing OLD for more than 30 minutes hadn’t already figured that one out.

Still, all in all, the prize is worth the game, so I’m in.

And for anyone who hasn’t read Clooney’s post, message 100, I recommend you drop back a page and read it. This was from back in 2014, before he (apparently) had some kind of bad experience and went rogue. This post is a classic, and quite humorous.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 115
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/9/2018 5:44:35 PM

Jeez, I get free coffee at work, but they still have to pay me to show up.

Wait, wait, what did I just say??? Forget I said that!


Nobody advertises free coffee for working, i might consider getting a job.
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 116
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/22/2018 6:42:24 AM
No - never had success with coffee date meets but then again I've hardly had any meets full-stop. Still never had one through POF - have had a few (like more than 1 but far less than 10) through other similar sites but always don't lead to anything.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 117
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/22/2018 8:54:30 AM
"Coffee is cheap. Drinks are an audition. Lunch is an interview. Dinner means business...the business of romance."

Patti Stanger

https://twitter.com/pattistanger/status/26312875387650049?lang=en

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patti_Stanger

Patricia "Patti" Stanger (born May 31, 1961) is an American businesswoman and reality television personality. She is best known for starring in and producing her own matchmaking reality series, The Millionaire Matchmaker, on Bravo TV. She is also founder and CEO of Millionaire's Club International, Inc., a professional matchmaking service for millionaires.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 118
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/22/2018 9:04:57 AM
We are talking about a 1st meet between ordinary everyday people...
not an unrealistic TV show about millionaire's not savvy enough to get their own dates...

but the fact you quote a woman that helps gold diggers find a rich mate is right on track with your agenda....
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 119
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/22/2018 9:13:11 AM

"Coffee is cheap. Drinks are an audition. Lunch is an interview. Dinner means business...the business of romance."

Patti Stanger

https://twitter.com/pattistanger/status/26312875387650049?lang=en

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patti_Stanger

Patricia "Patti" Stanger (born May 31, 1961) is an American businesswoman and reality television personality. She is best known for starring in and producing her own matchmaking reality series, The Millionaire Matchmaker, on Bravo TV. She is also founder and CEO of Millionaire's Club International, Inc., a professional matchmaking service for millionaires.


One more shallow person helping other shallow people while 65 million people around the world are displaced from their homes due to war, ethnic violence, and famine, and just struggling to survive.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 120
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/22/2018 9:28:35 AM
* I appreciate your sentiment, but the TOPIC here is coffee meets...

And I quoted someone who had something to say about coffee meets.


Having standards does not make a person shallow.

Why is it when a man wants a certain physical appearance from a woman, he is not viewed as shallow, but if a woman mentions about $, she is shallow?

That is a sexist, double standard.

And you assume bec. I have a certain POV in regards to mate selection, that I have no interest humanity, etc.

That's just pure ignorance & black & white thinking.

Matchmaking has been around for hundreds of years, how does that make Patti Stanger a bad person? Millionaires deserve love as much as the rest of us. They have a right to want attractive, accomplished women.

Even men less economically successful want women w/ certain characteristics, why would they not be interested in what attracts a good, quality mate?
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 121
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/22/2018 9:48:01 AM
Ive never had a coffee date turn into an actual date much less a relationship. To me, they show minimal interest. Id rather stay home and make my own coffee alone.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 122
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/22/2018 9:51:42 AM

Having standards does not make a person shallow.


No, having shallow standards makes a person shallow.


but the TOPIC here is coffee meets...

And I quoted someone who had something to say about coffee meets.


And the opinion of a shallow, superficial person about any types of meets means nothing to me.


Millionaires deserve love as much as the rest of us.


Sure, unless they are trying to buy that "love".
That would make them shallow and superficial.


Even men less economically successful want women w/ certain characteristics


As long as those certain characteristics are not shallow and superficial, that's fine.


Matchmaking has been around for hundreds of years,


Means nothing to me.


And you assume bec. I have a certain POV in regards to mate selection, that I have no interest humanity, etc.


People who speak CONSTANTLY without restraint about shallow and superficial concepts are indicating to the world that those shallow and superficial concepts dominate their thinking.


Why is it when a man wants a certain physical appearance from a woman, he is not viewed as shallow,


I never said men weren't shallow.
Plenty of men are shallow when it comes to physical appearances, as well as other things.


That's just pure ignorance & black & white thinking.


A lot of people create gray thinking because they don't have the self-discipline and self-control to follow black and white thinking.


a good, quality mate?


One who isn't constantly focused on shallow and superficial things.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 123
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/22/2018 9:59:15 AM
I don't drink coffee. People who are interesting don't need "uppers" such as caffeine or methamphetamine (the upper of choice in my region) to be lively and alert. Interesting people get up from natural adrenalin or endorphins.

Would rather date a fellow treehugger who agrees coffee is bad for the environment: clearcutting rainforests to grow the beans; using huge amounts of petroleum to transport them to North America and Europe; blasting air conditioning in the summer in coffee shops; causing enormous litter (and using more petroleum) with disposable plastic straws and cups (recently heard an enormous figure about the amount of plastic littered by Starbucks and their customers).


Early this year a forgettable airhead from Bumble suggested "coffee" as our first meet during our first and only phone conversation. I politely told her I don't drink coffee, and countered with a walk at a crowded park near where she lives, weather permitting. Weather was bad so we didn't go. Instead, I had an indoor first date with a nice girl from Tinder that afternoon. In a later text, the bumbler again asked if I wanted to have "coffee". Unless she meant coffee as a euphemism for sex (it often is, but I didn't think that's what she meant), it shows she has no memory. I shouldn't even have tried to meet the Bumble gal because in the phone conversation, she quickly said two things much worse than the coffee suggestion. She began by saying she thought I'd have an accent, then after asking what I did, she said "oooh, that can make a lot of money". She had a fantasy of me being an exotic foreign zillionaire, as if such a person would consider hanging out in a lame coffee shop with her!


The first gal I dated on POF, our first meet was at a coffee shop. She bought me a hot chocolate (it was a cold snowy day in February). She lived with her mom and went to coffee shops often to get away from her. I sat opposite from her while she was buried in her laptop and had occasional cell phone conversations in her language (could tell the friend on her phone was asking her about me, how the date was going). I had been up front about not drinking coffee, but being willing to have the first meet there. Things became more interesting when I suggested we leave the coffee shop and walk the sidewalks and window shop. We also shopped at an international grocery, where I was amused by unidentifiable food items with labels written in alphabets from halfway around the world. After the second date (dinner), she asked multiple times if I wanted to have "coffee" for the third (eyeroll). She suffered an on the job injury after the second date, and I wouldn't want her driving under medication to the coffee shop (bad for her and for other drivers) even if I wanted to sit around in a boring room while she did stuff on her laptop.

I guess it was successful in that there wasn't much else to do that day (mushy snow would be bad for hiking), it led to a second date, and I met someone from a dating site for the first time.


Went to a supposed eco friendly coffee shop to meet a gal from OKC. It was better than the two other places she suggested: an extremely expensive rooftop****ail bar owned by someone I boycott, and a hipster craft beer headquarters. They said their cups and straws were compostable, and I don't believe they used AC. She got there first and ordered her stuff. I ordered "organic" lemonade: about $4.30 after tax and it was mostly ice. She was boring. I tried to suggest walking the sidewalks, thinking it might bring out hidden personality in her, but she declined, if I remember correctly something about having an event with her parents soon (people who like coffee shops seem not to have severed the umbilical cord). Didn't try to see her again. I needlessly dressed really nice for her. Driving there wasn't much of a waste because I brought my bike and rode a good nearby path (after getting out of the nice clothes), seeing dozens of fine babes.


Back to people hanging out in coffee shops because they live with someone: often this is a young person with one or more roommates: college student or recent grad who cannot afford to live alone. Might be irrelevant on the over 45 forum because the young people will likely be "invisible" to someone over 45, but some 30+ year old women might not feel comfortable with most of the gals in the room being younger.


People who schedule coffee meets seem more likely to be filling time slots in a rather cold, inhuman manner.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 124
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/22/2018 10:00:05 AM

Ive never had a coffee date turn into an actual date much less a relationship. To me, they show minimal interest. Id rather stay home and make my own coffee alone.


Smart.

It's one thing if people meet for coffee & extend it into a REAL DATE,

It's been years since I met for coffee. Back when I was not as savvy as I later became. Sat there for 2 hours w/ some guy over a cold cup of coffee in Panera's on a cold winter's night. We ended up going to Perkins for pancakes later. Even though the Panera's was located next to a Steakhouse, albeit a chain one. And the man was financially solvent, his kids were all grown.

He liked me, but his ex GF was "the free bed & breakfast" for 14 years, so he thought he would have the same again.

Hell no.

I learned (from a man who was a mentor) after that, if you meet someone for coffee, after 15-20 mins. if they cannot suggest an ACTIVITY to extend it into a real date, to thank them politely, excuse oneself & LEAVE.

If by a certain age a man didn't know how to act w/ a woman, to have a plan, to pursue, he was not someone I cared to engage with.

My mentor told me I would eventually remarry & to "the last man standing" - well that is exactly what happened.

If a man cannot make an effort for a woman for an initial date, how can he PARTICIPATE in a REAL RELATIONSHIP?
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 125
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/22/2018 10:06:52 AM

they don't have the self-discipline and self-control to follow black and white thinking.


Black & white thinking is a strong indicator of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Imaginary FB block button is going to be used by me now.
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