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 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 150
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?Page 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
CBGB, what made you determine whether it would be coffee or those other activities?
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 151
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/24/2018 11:32:13 AM
Posted By: Newyorker58 on 6/24/2018 109 PM
Subject: Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Message: CBGB, what made you determine whether it would be coffee or those other activities?

I asked her where she would like to meet and she suggested either a Caribou or a Starbucks. The Starbucks turned out to be a good choice since it was located inside a Barnes and Noble Bookstore which we ended up walking around and talking for hours neither one of us wanting to say goodbye.Ain't love grand? Lol.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 152
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/24/2018 11:36:04 AM
I meant for the first time dates with the other women.

Yes, love is grand☺ I'm very happy for the both of you. You sound like you're a great match for each other.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 153
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/24/2018 4:05:09 PM
Posted By: Newyorker58 on 6/24/2018 104 PM
Subject: Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Message: I meant for the first time dates with the other women.

Yes, love is grand☺ I'm very happy for the both of you. You sound like you're a great match for each other.

Thanks Newyorker58! I think I when I first started online dating 4 years ago I was getting a lot of concert tickets and looked for woman who where interested in seeing a show with me. I think my was "I want to be with the rock and roll girl" from the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cEvEUKN4Fw

When I didn't have tickets for a show I tried finding other fun things to do but often the woman just wanted to meet for a drink or coffee. Actually most of them drank tea(including my girlfriend).
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 154
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/24/2018 6:00:00 PM
No, I do not. But I haven't had a whole lotta success through dinner dates, dancing dates, county fair dates, go-kart-racing dates....or any other dates when it comes to meeting strangers either. The activity or setting doesn't mean as much as the interactions between the two people. If you met a person you really clicked with, then the rest is more likely to fall into place - regardless of location.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 155
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/24/2018 6:16:14 PM
I keep picturing in my head...………………….

"Oh yes, It would be so nice to meet you. I have a small survey, questionnaire if you will, that I request all men to fill out prior to actually meeting face to face.
It's quite simple really. You need to fill out an app.
To do this, go to website XYZ, download in PDF format. Should take only 4-5 hours, and have your tax returns handy. When the question is asked, "What kind of coffee do you drink?" please feel free to ignore that one question.
Now get busy, I'm so anxious to read your answers!"


If you met a person you really clicked with, then the rest is more likely to fall into place - regardless of location.

Very well said, siisaa
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 156
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/24/2018 7:30:17 PM
I guess I have dating dyslexia,because I met up with a woman in a pub a while ago, had a couple of drinks, and afterward, I suggested going to the coffee shop next door, so that we can hear each other talk instead of trying to decipher what each is saying when screaming in the pub because of the music being so loud. Being able to to talk in a normal manner instead of screaming at each other was a lot more enjoyable. It was 24 hour coffee shop, but if they had a closing time, we would've stayed until closing. But according to the self professed dating gurus here, coffee dates are a no-no, and proves the guy is Mr. El-Cheapo. The guy must open up his wallet and let all of his money be spent to prove he's interested in the woman.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 157
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 3:55:26 AM
LinR, you laugh, but I had someone try to have me answer survey questions. He was nuts, and I wasn't interested. I told him I'd like to see his questionnaire, and could see the ahole was trying to do a real psychological profile. Men have been forthcoming about their lives to me without any prodding.

Site, that's different. It's not like you had time to plan anything. Coffee shows the least amount of effort. Where I live, a coffee shop offers no privacy for conversation. For myself, I don't care if I'm on an OLDate, I want to be treated like a normal date. My first date with my ex-h was to a park in the city, which was romantic and then a diner afterwards. I had cheese fries, so it wasn't an expensive date, but was an interesting one. I got home at 3am. My first dates tend to be long.

If I did coffee dates, I would not be leaving that evening open, waiting to see if the guy deemed me good enough to extend that into the evening. No plans, no last minute date. I'd say I was busy, and I would be.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 158
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 4:16:08 AM

But according to the self professed dating gurus here, coffee dates are a no-no, and proves the guy is Mr. El-Cheapo.


Yes, but look *who* the sage advice is coming from. If that's not enough to throw you into a fit of laughing hysterics, nothing is.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 159
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 5:11:49 AM
^^^
Would that be the same gurus who haven't been on a date in years and years and years?
Or the ones who are "taking a break"?
Or the ones who have loads of bad experiences?

 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 160
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 5:49:50 AM

If I did coffee dates, I would not be leaving that evening open, waiting to see if the guy deemed me good enough to extend that into the evening. No plans, no last minute date. I'd say I was busy, and I would be.


I can make my own, delicious coffee and sip it in the quiet comfort of my home...and click or swipe to see better profiles. And, that's what I tell some of them, when they ask.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 161
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 5:50:28 AM

A lot of people create gray thinking because they don't have the self-discipline and self-control to follow black and white thinking.


This is dangerous thinking - the black and white thinking. This is the call of the narcissist.


People who speak CONSTANTLY without restraint about shallow and superficial concepts are indicating to the world that those shallow and superficial concepts dominate their thinking.


Yes, because somebody who spends hours preparing to meet somebody for a ten-minute audition in a loud and chaotic Starbucks, slurping sludge from a papercut, is the best use of that person's time...meeting a cheapskate.


No, having shallow standards makes a person shallow.


The men who insist on coffee dates are shallow, IMHO.


One who isn't constantly focused on shallow and superficial things.


I don't date them.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 162
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 6:05:32 AM

Yes, because somebody who spends hours preparing to meet somebody for a ten-minute audition in a loud and chaotic Starbucks, slurping sludge from a papercut, is the best use of that person's time...meeting a cheapskate.

hours to get ready for a coffee meet??
just how much makeup do you put on??


I can make my own, delicious coffee and sip it in the quiet comfort of my home...and click or swipe to see better profiles

How's that working out for ya??


The men who insist on coffee dates are shallow, IMHO

and women that insist on being catered to are sitting at home swiping....
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 163
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 6:16:42 AM

^^^
Would that be the same gurus who haven't been on a date in years and years and years?
Or the ones who are "taking a break"?
Or the ones who have loads of bad experiences?


All of the above. However, there's another category. The ones who are waiting on Mr./Ms. Extraordinary, yet are oblivious to the fact it hasn't happened yet because Mr./Ms. Extraordinary doesn't want them.


and women that insist on being catered to are sitting at home swiping....


hahaha. Beautiful work there.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 164
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 6:43:33 AM
Bottom line.
Regardless of what HE does/did, or did not do, I'm not responsible for him.
I am only in charge of me. Period.

I chose to meet men, with my mind open. No expectations. No preconceived ideas. No hidden agenda.
I decided I wanted to enjoy the experience / to HAVE FUN. ..............WHEREVER, that may be. (Minus the local landfill!)

From mid morning coffee at Barnes and Nobles, to a park, swinging on the swings/ sliding down the slide, to take out lunch, sitting at a picnic table, to a midafternoon stroll at the waters edge of Lake Michigan, or watching the sun sink down over the water, to wearing a dress and heels, going for dinner.
ALL public venues, all in plain sight.

I enjoyed meeting men, conversing, from drinking coffee, to a glass of wine. Most often I knew rather quickly if I could imagine waking up in the morning, in bed with him, or "hell no". The rest of my time with him was either confirming my initial reaction or discounting it. See him again, or "No way".

I openly admit I am not shy, can talk to just about anyone, more often than not, give them reason to smile.

An example. This spring went to a local casino with BF and GF and her husband, for a concert. Afterwards in the elevator with other couples, returning to the parking garage I made a crack about the elevator duck noise. I laughed at myself and snorted. One of the men turned, looked at me and asked, "Did you just snort?" Still making a snorting noise, "Yes I did, I did indeed. We have a duck, and now a pig. Who wants to go next?"


I work 45 hrs a week I will be damned if I would turn meeting a man into a JOB. Life is too short for such nonsense!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 165
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 8:16:27 AM

I can make my own, delicious coffee and sip it in the quiet comfort of my home...and click or swipe to see better profiles. And, that's what I tell some of them, when they ask.




I can look at a book of pictures of places I'd like to go, in the quiet comfort of my home too.
Or I can go there.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 166
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 9:45:01 AM
" I suggested going to the coffee shop next door, so that we can hear each other talk instead of trying to decipher what each is saying when screaming in the pub because of the music being so loud. Being able to to talk in a normal manner instead of screaming at each other was a lot more enjoyable. "

>>>but how could she lean into you and whisper in your ear so you'd know she was interested? b/c that was some sage advice a while back, but not from someone fitting spottie's description :) Whatever works to get the type of woman who turns you on, is what works. As for surveys, the last woman I slept with gave me one, and we had a great Valentine's Day weekend together. She had a great rack, and I answered one of her 50 questions perfectly ("When should my daughter call you Daddy?" "whenever she feels like it--that's not my call"). whatever works, is whatever that works.

"I can look at a book of pictures of places I'd like to go, in the quiet comfort of my home too."

>>>I used to do that as a kid, since I couldn't afford to escape the house on a trip. came in handy at a later New Year's Eve, talking to a Navy man who cruised the Pacific--I knew enough about every stop he was at to contribute a fact and kept the convo going 'til 1am. So it may have been posted in jest, but being well-rounded can be a good thing.

I might suggest, however, if you go on a cheap coffee date and find out you aren't compatable with the other person, avoiding a long expensive relationship that ends with "I gave it up too soon!"...that, too, is a successful coffee date.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 167
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 10:55:59 AM
Thinking you're worth more than a "coffee date" means you
think the person asking isn't worth a cup of coffee.

I don't know why people complicate things. If you're sitting
home doing nothing, what's wrong with meeting someone for
coffee and conversation?

With that said, I hate coffee and I never drink it.
But coffee places usually have other drinks...and snacks.
If your initial conversation goes well, nothing wrong with
setting up something more substantial for another time.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 168
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 11:08:24 AM

I don't know why people complicate things. If you're sitting
home doing nothing, what's wrong with meeting someone for
coffee and conversation?


well because it takes hours to prep for a coffee meet and they got lots more "swiping" to do!!

much more important question....how the hell do I get this enamel paint off me?
and why did I think painting a wrought iron table and chairs would be quick and easy???
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 169
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 11:16:23 AM
^^^^I don't know how you get it off you...can you wear it like you meant it?
hahahahahaha!

I used spray paint when I did some tables and chairs.
I had to keep moving around because of the wind, but they came out pretty
alright. The cat got in the way though. Spray can painting is messy.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 170
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 11:37:51 AM
Mustang, try to talk in a place where you can't be heard, so far, passive behavior. Waiting for the woman to lean in? Passive behavior. I'm not touching anyone. I'm walking away. Women tend to like men that aren't passive. I see men here being socially awkward and passive, missing social cues. My suggestion, the place is loud, ask her to go to a more quiet place or at least, step outside.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 171
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Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 12:28:27 PM

^I don't know how you get it off you...can you wear it like you meant it?

fingernail polish remover seems to be working!! but dayum it burns in all the little cuts I got pulling weeds yesterday!! lol
I thought about spraying....but it is a good sized table and chairs and very intricate....would take numerous cans!!
So with the money I saved...I can take my sweetie to dinner and let him treat me like a desperate woman and use me oh so fabulously!!
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 172
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 7:19:12 PM
I think there is a home remedy for paint remover.
The concoction includes …………….coffee! This only works on desperate woman though. Just so you know!
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 173
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/25/2018 7:42:22 PM

but how could she lean into you and whisper in your ear so you'd know she was interested? b/c that was some sage advice a while back


I also made it very clear the woman needs to enjoy that particular atmosphere. I figured it went without saying the man would have to enjoy it, as well. It is not passive behavior, either. Having her touch me is simply a byproduct in all of this, and it begins almost immediately as we start conversing.

My whole point in that particular post was, don't avoid this scenario just because a lame textbook "dating expert" or an out of touch, dateless old fart said you should. Take the *common sense* approach of finding what each other likes beforehand.
 jco415
Joined: 1/4/2017
Msg: 174
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 6/26/2018 5:40:14 PM
I like the coffee meet and I don't even drink coffee! It serves the purpose of actually seeing the person as they are, not their misleading profile.

I rarely date anymore but years ago I was pretty active and only had 2 or 3 looked close to their picture and one looked better. We lived together for about four years.
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