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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?      Home login  
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 springorfall
Joined: 5/17/2015
Msg: 26
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if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
yes, you do. If she really doesn't care then it won't matter if you bought her a card. If she really does care and is just trying to appear 'cool' about it, then it WILL matter if you didn't buy her a card. Buying a card keeps you in the safe zone.

Buy her a card.. and don't just sign your name at the bottom - at least write 'love' in there.. or 'hugs and kisses', or something!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 27
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/7/2015 8:58:46 PM
If a woman says she doesn't care about Valentine's Day and she gets mad that she gets nothing from a guy she's dating after saying that - then it's on her for lying about it. I believe that a woman who does this is fishing, manipulating or just not real bright. Take her word for it - if she gets mad about it then lose her.

And isn't that "holiday" in February? Who brought this thread back up in June? Valentine's Day is a long way off...
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 28
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/7/2015 9:42:56 PM
Oh, boy. I've dealt with the "I say one thing, but mean another" impossible to please types before, and I have no patience whatsoever for them. They think being complicated is part of their charm, and a "real man" should be able to handle it and figure them out.

There's nothing "cute" about it. They're just f*cking ***holes, and ironically, will complain if others aren't straightforward with them.

If a woman tells me she doesn't care about Valentine's Day, she isn't getting jack shit from me. If she complains, adios.

There's not a single good reason for this kind of manipulative mind games crap.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 29
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/8/2015 4:13:27 PM
thepigofyourdreams- Men don't have to worry about this kind of crap with me, sometimes I feel like an alien for meaning what I say and saying what I mean.
It's good to know others exist.
Both genders are guilty of that type of game playing and it's crazy making behavior for me.
If I could read peoples minds, well scratch that, I'm not sure I would want to be able to do that. ;)
WHEN will people some figure out that life is much easier when you realize NO ONE is a mind reader?!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 30
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/8/2015 7:08:02 PM
^^^Right...if I want a guy I am dating to do something for me I'll say "hey it would be cool if you did this". I too have no idea how not to be bluntly honest all the time.

Tell someone what you want and you might get it. What a freaking concept.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 31
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/8/2015 11:29:11 PM

What really pisses me off about those who have trouble directly communicating, is when they say shit like "but I dropped many hints and clues." after you fail to come through on something.

Well, that's great, but I'm not f*cking Columbo.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 32
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/9/2015 3:15:47 AM
Mr. Pig....

Might I interject a different perspective here. While I admire and agree that most often direct communication is the best course in a relationship.....there are times when one should not have to express what they want as it should be an expression of how another feels about them and vice versa.

And it doesn't take Columbo to figure out what your partner may enjoy...it only requires you to listen and know the person.
And based upon this knowledge and your feelings toward this person....you choose how to express it.


The value of a gift for me whether tangible or activity based has always been the thought and feeling associated with it....not the gift in and of itself.

I do realize that everyone's values are different so this is just another reason why a woman may not directly express what she hopes you will without being told to do so. :)
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 33
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/9/2015 5:14:21 AM


And it doesn't take Columbo to figure out what your partner may enjoy...


Oh, but in some instances it does, especially when you discover your partner is actually multiple people.

Example - You randomly buy roses for a woman, because she had you under the impression she liked them, but then she tells you "I don't know why you bought these, I don't like roses anymore." Ah, thanks for keeping me posted, Ever Changing Woman.


it only requires you to listen and know the person.


And sometimes the 15 other people they have living inside them.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 34
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/9/2015 5:31:23 AM
The there is the other side of it, when it is mentioned that something is liked, enjoyed, and appreciated, the partner will make faces, frown, ignore your wishes or deliberately dismiss any suggestion or expressed wish as fishing for something.

It's no wonder why some people don't know whether they;re coming or going, so to speak, in these situations.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 35
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/9/2015 8:52:29 AM

Might I interject a different perspective here. While I admire and agree that most often direct communication is the best course in a relationship.....there are times when one should not have to express what they want as it should be an expression of how another feels about them and vice versa.

This is a great concept - except that when you do express yourself and the other person doesn't particularly like what you did to express - it's on them for not being clear enough. Personally I'd never really beat someone up for trying unless it was downright dark or odd or illegal ("here, I brought you this dead body").

And it doesn't take Columbo to figure out what your partner may enjoy...it only requires you to listen and know the person. And based upon this knowledge and your feelings toward this person....you choose how to express it.

Again this is fine unless/until the person you're expressing it to shows dislike for your choice.

The value of a gift for me whether tangible or activity based has always been the thought and feeling associated with it....not the gift in and of itself.

I agree. Some don't agree and will give you grief for giving the wrong gift.

I do realize that everyone's values are different so this is just another reason why a woman may not directly express what she hopes you will without being told to do so. :)

What's the big deal about being told what someone likes? I never understood this. Is this a concept Disney created?

The there is the other side of it, when it is mentioned that something is liked, enjoyed, and appreciated, the partner will make faces, frown, ignore your wishes or deliberately dismiss any suggestion or expressed wish as fishing for something.

Then it's on them if they don't care, don't take note, don't do anything about it. It's not on you for telling them - and too much information is always better than not enough.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 36
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/10/2015 12:50:13 AM
(1). No matter what a woman says, at least from my personal experience, not doing something for valentine's day is a mistake.
(2) The day the gift matters more than the thought behind it, is the day to walk.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 37
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/10/2015 3:24:52 AM
Ms. WIP.....

"What's the big deal about being told what someone likes? I never understood this. Is this a concept Disney created?"


There is no big deal about expressing your likes and dislikes....it is actually neccessary in order for another to know you.

But for me....if I have to state specifically what I would like for a gift....then the gift loses its's value.

For example....on a past Mother's day my darling children made me a breakfast of frozen waffles and microwave bacon and presented me with a book of chore coupons.

Can you see how the value would have changed had I told them to do this for me?

And as a footnote to this story.....you should have seen the look of horror and disbelief when I presented them with a chore coupon.
My daughter actually said..."But...but....I thought it was just....the thought that counts?" :)


The best gifts I have ever received are the ones I would never have thought of or purchased for myself.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 38
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/10/2015 3:33:46 AM

Then it's on them if they don't care, don't take note, don't do anything about it. It's not on you for telling them - and too much information is always better than not enough.


You're right.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 39
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 6/11/2015 6:36:56 PM

But for me....if I have to state specifically what I would like for a gift....then the gift loses its's value.

This is fine if you're not raking someone over the coals for something you wanted, and your SO missed the mark. If you aren't being direct about it and the person you're with gets it wrong IMO that's on you for not making it clear enough. That's all I am saying. Initially this thread was about announcing you don't care about the holiday - if you did declare this you can't really get upset when someone takes you at your word.

For example....on a past Mother's day my darling children made me a breakfast of frozen waffles and microwave bacon and presented me with a book of chore coupons.

Can you see how the value would have changed had I told them to do this for me?

What if you wanted lunch instead of breakfast or pancakes instead of waffles or flowers instead of breakfast? You didn't care right, because it was their way of expressing themselves and to you that's what matters correct? You likely didn't consciously think to ask for it. To me that's different than what I was explaining.

And as a footnote to this story.....you should have seen the look of horror and disbelief when I presented them with a chore coupon.
My daughter actually said..."But...but....I thought it was just....the thought that counts?" :)

Well shame on them for not expecting you to redeem coupons they gave - not a huge deal but a small lesson in meaning what you say.

The best gifts I have ever received are the ones I would never have thought of or purchased for myself.

Yes, so when you got them it was a bonus because you weren't expecting them at all (especially in particular). That's fine.

Saying you don't care about the day and having a gift you want in mind and then getting upset because there was no gift or the wrong gift was given is what I'm talking about. Value, shmalue - if there's something you really want and you want to be sure you get it hoping for telepathy (or even worse for someone who loves you to disregard a direct declaration) is unfair to the other person.

Kind of like the "do I look fat in this?" question - there's no good reason on earth to ask that question unless you are fishing for a compliment. If you have any mirrors you know the answer to the question - and no guy in his right mind is going to tell you that yes - you do look fat. You're just looking for a compliment. However asking the question is opening yourself up for an honest answer - one that you should accept and deal with should you get it.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 40
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/12/2018 10:04:49 PM
I think it is smart to buy into the holiday, even if it means a little bit of chocolate.

I want a Lindt Chocolate bar, yum!
 Naturalselection53
Joined: 1/13/2016
Msg: 41
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/14/2018 6:43:22 PM

if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?

Another good thing about being single. You don't have to worry about this crap. I'm going out tomorrow and buying myself a great big half price chocolate heart.

Happy Valentines Day!
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 42
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/14/2018 6:48:47 PM
^^^^
Son of a bitch!!! I guess I'll just have to eat the one I bought you.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 43
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if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/14/2018 6:48:51 PM
Sounds likes the shit test/reverse psychology scenario where they say one thing but mean the opposite.
 Naturalselection53
Joined: 1/13/2016
Msg: 44
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/14/2018 6:51:48 PM

Son of a ****!!! I guess I'll just have to eat the one I bought you.

You should have waited until tomorrow. it would have been half price, silly.
Happy Valentines Day
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 45
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/15/2018 3:55:45 AM
Actually I'll be spending the morning in tears because I'm diabetic.
 Platinum_Blonde_Angel
Joined: 1/23/2018
Msg: 46
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/15/2018 7:17:34 AM
^^ sorry type 1 or 2? insulin or pills?

My baby was dx-ed right after his 7th b-day, all those dietary restrictions have to be H-E-L-L on you.

The sugar free stuff w/ the sorbitol gives many people...side effects

I do know if you hold out & have the time & patience, clearance candy can go down to 90% off (for all the non-diabetics)
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 47
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if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/15/2018 7:44:27 AM
I just started exchanging messages with a lovely lady on POF and yesterday she sent me nice second message in which she told me some more about herself asked several questions about me. She never mentioned V.Day so I asked my friend(who is a woman) if I should say "Happy Valentines Day" in my reply and she said "No,if she didn't mention it just let it go". Still I couldn't just let it go so when wrote back to this lady I added this post script to my message "By the way,Happy Valentines Day!" Was I wrong? I'll find out soon enough I guess.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 48
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/15/2018 9:05:14 AM

sorry type 1 or 2? insulin or pills?

Type 2 and pills thankfully. I do eat chocolate but only at work and during the day because i binge. The the sugar gets burnt off that way. If i eat it at night I wake up with sort of a hangover.
 Naturalselection53
Joined: 1/13/2016
Msg: 49
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/15/2018 9:18:25 AM

Actually I'll be spending the morning in tears because I'm diabetic.
Sorry to hear this. I will eat enough chocolate for both of us. lol

Still I couldn't just let it go so when wrote back to this lady I added this post script to my message "By the way,Happy Valentines Day!" Was I wrong? I'll find out soon enough I guess.

I don't think you were wrong at all. I think it was a nice added touch. I can't see any normal person taking exception to it. BTW good luck!
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 50
if she isn't big on Valentines Day... do you still?
Posted: 2/15/2018 9:25:56 AM
^^^^
Well thank you but I know for a fact that if you gain weight you'll come back here and blame it on me LOL
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