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 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 26
Men who are addicted to internet dating sitesPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

charlie_girl_2 on 2/16/2012 1221 PM
Subject: Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Message: carefree25 DON'T BE GIVING ANOTHER PERSON'S SCREEN NAME INFO OR YOU WILL BE EXITED STAGE LEFT RIGHT OUT OF HERE! AGAINST THE RULES.


Slow, deep breaths. Everything's going to be ok.
 SweetLR1
Joined: 4/21/2011
Msg: 27
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History
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/16/2012 1:03:49 PM
My dear,
You are talking to me, it's obvious. The man you are dealing with is a player, it is that simple. He's always on the internet looking for the next woman he can hurt. You know what I've come to realize, when you're looking for answers, always imagine yourself in the ex-wife's position. That's where the real truth lies. If this guy were serious about you, he'd be calling and would really want to see you again. This is a guy who has a lot of women in his life, all of them hate him. Scratch this guy off as a loser and start again. Obviously, if this guy is still on the internet after meeting you and you're probably a really nice person who is seriously looking to meet someone, then he is only interested in tallying up the number of women he can hurt. Run, don't walk, run the other way.
 seventiesbaby2
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 28
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/16/2012 2:34:08 PM
HE isnt an attention whore... why would you think that. He is looking for other woman . If you want an exclusive relationship dont date him he isnt excusive with him. He isnt going to change this is what he likes. I dont see why you would even post here. He is who he is... take it or leave it. I assume he hasnt met the right girl yet or is just a serial dater. Why would you tolarate this? Where is your self esteem? n You have been dating him for a yr and he is still on dating sites. If i was dating a man and in a month he wasnt off the sites i would have dumped him. I have dated men from online they all have asked me to remove my profile .. and i have and they did too. Men do not get approached by woman much on these sites they do the approaching. I hate to break this to you since you seem to be a little in a fantasy ,,, this guy is approaching other woman if he is active on dating sites plus he might have a sex adiction be jugling a few woman and cheating on you.
 FreschFisch
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 29
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/16/2012 5:11:51 PM
hahaha really? You busted him for being online checking his emails? seems you were there too! integrity check!!
 FreschFisch
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 30
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/16/2012 5:24:11 PM
OMG like I just said..

A girls best friend is often our worst enemy. Re-enforcing the negative...

We need a thread about this. Let me make sure there isnt one.

BTW
Haven't you read the threads about women contacting men? They do it all the time!
 blonde.sugar
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 31
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/16/2012 5:37:49 PM
FreschFish - I didn't "bust" him, as that would imply he has been hiding his activity. As I said before, he's not. He knows I am aware.

I'm not sure what you mean by "reinforcing the negative" and "a girl's best friend", though. I'd genuinely appreciate if you'd elaborate.

And thanks to the many helpful posts on this page. I don't think this is a "bad" man. I just need to be careful about protecting myself emotionally, you know... keeping it real, and not getting myself too invested.
 FreschFisch
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 32
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/16/2012 6:36:26 PM
sorry blonde.sugar I don't know how to post..

My response was actually to one of those that responded with a very nice (in a way) comment about their own experience. The kicker was it seemed to me she was pointing to her own disappointment in a man who asked her to get married but was checking emails on Match!! whats the craziness in that!! How would she know unless she was there when it said he had been online in the last 10 minutes!

OMG The hipocracy in here sometimes is astounding!!!

and it really saddens me that people will advise someone like yourself asking a legitimate question with answers from their own experiences. Specifically I see you girls doing it constantly! Hence the "girls best friend" comment. Im sorry girls. We may do it too but I find that mens comments fall generally into two categories.. They are the mushy and the arrogant but they are rarely critical in passing judgement on your man. and men seem to rarely ask questions in a forum about their girls. We're just different that way.

Im a glass full person.. You will find if you think about it.. EVERYTHING in life is situational. you are on a date site he is on three. So what? It probably takes him three to get the responses that you get here! advantage you. but he does get them. Your relationship hasn't evolved to ask for more. I wouldn't call it an addiction. I wouldn't analyze it.

Personally I think all people want to be good and I live life believing it. Iv been told that I let people take advantage of me but that should really be understood as.. I am open enough to allow it.

How about this one... expose the part of you that you are not concerned about losing. When someone takes a piece of that it shouldn't hurt you! That guilt is on them.. Even the worst of the worst feel guilt. If you are worried about losing you lack confidence and you will always lose. You have nothing invested here! Wanna date?
 MssCrystal
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 33
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/16/2012 7:46:55 PM
It sounds like he cares more about being a net whore than being with you. You need to decide if you can handle that or not. Personally I'd dump him. He doesn't sound mature enough to be in a relationship.
 blonde.sugar
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 34
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/17/2012 2:30:07 AM
Thanks for elaborating, freschfish (and also #40). I am considering all advice.

And although I know you were kidding, I want to repeat that I am not trolling for dates, given that I have a hard time managing the one I've got!
 xlmagboy
Joined: 6/28/2010
Msg: 35
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/17/2012 4:32:38 AM
Yeah, I see you just joined in January. This is a cult here you must follow the rules.
 Scureza_di_Corpolò
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 36
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/17/2012 5:17:02 AM
As a shameless online attention whore myself -- I can speak to this. A thing to google might be the role of dopamine in social media.

It's a real addiction, and I believe it is here to stay.

Other manifestations commonly seen include constant texting whether with friends, or with people you never met and don't intend to meet; determining the worth of your facebook post by how many people "like" it.

In your boyfriend's case it might be helpful to distinguish whether his addiction is to a dopamine hit; simple attention; or if it specifically has to be attention from women.

I met my S/O on POF and kept it as an addiction for awhile, but it bothered him; so although I still like swimming in here, I solved my problem by transferring the addiction to sites which still provide me with the positive interactions my whorish soul craves, but which are not dating oriented.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 37
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/17/2012 7:06:07 AM

^^ I concur. I am terribly handsome (as you can see), post witty and wicked things in the forums and have had maybe all of ten women contact me in the last... however long I've been on here ( a long time). It can't be about the attention


Come on dude, you know why....they feel intimidated; it's the inherent and ultra powerfull aura of manliness that permates your posts. Kind of like my problem; they feel SO turned on by our witty and OBVIOUS semi-perfection, that they are afraid of looking like beggars next to us, so that's why they don't contact us. Not because they think we're superior (because, you know, WE ARE), but it's because their just afraid NOT to be able to live up to who WE are.
Ahhhh....life is hard sometimes, for people like us....
 zookie57
Joined: 1/27/2012
Msg: 38
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/17/2012 7:06:54 AM
Message:
Men receive attention on dating sites? This is a first for me. Sign me up?


No way!! lol And don't tell the ladies out there or they might start doing the same thing too! lol Or is it too late? lol
But,don't worry lads, as there is still hope here as pof is mostly a male club if you count the members here.

Op, you can call it a addiction, be it mentality,physically or both. Whether be a fact of or not. It out there in various forms of for those who seek this kind of pain,pleasure,relief,revenge,or the 7 deadly sins which can & does breed contempt & other mental issues.

And yes, it's part of life but when one can't live healthy most of the time then it become a issue to me. AKA,[in way to much baggage would be a good example].
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 39
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/17/2012 8:29:13 AM
I think he's taking "cues" from his girfriend.

According to your profile, maybe your a bit of an attention whore as well?

Activly seeking a relationship when already in one
 zookie57
Joined: 1/27/2012
Msg: 40
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/17/2012 3:22:48 PM

According to your profile, maybe your a bit of an attention whore as well?


No way! And if that is true,will she will blame men in the way it is ,cuz it is for her too ?


And are there any wimins who pick mens for just of it, who are blankness??????

imo,Who is your daddy & why did u not listen too him or did u think u knew it all? lol
 blonde.sugar
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 41
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/17/2012 4:54:37 PM
Actually, i have my profile hidden, and I copied my profile from another person. For the record, I also am not a blonde, nor am I a hairdresser, and I don't intend to keep an account here.
 ToThySelf
Joined: 2/26/2010
Msg: 42
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/17/2012 5:19:26 PM

Actually, i have my profile hidden, and I copied my profile from another person. For the record, I also am not a blonde, nor am I a hairdresser, and I don't intend to keep an account here.

So, we should believe you are giving us the 100% truth in this thread -- why?
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 43
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/17/2012 5:29:01 PM
It's a people thing (of all ages too), not just men ! Hell, marriages have broken up over spouses becoming addicted to something online. And kids are forgetting everything else but their online "friends" .

But of course - this isn't all people either.

I know for myself , as soon as I feel something for someone in real life , I lose all interest in being on dating sites . And even being on the computer at all for that matter !

Lots of other way more fun things to do , when you have a partner
to do them to ... uh .... with .

 blonde.sugar
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 44
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/18/2012 6:59:05 PM
"So, we should believe you are giving us the 100% truth in this thread -- why?"

you shouldn't. It matters not at all to me

Thanks for your response, everyone.
 elainedu
Joined: 5/18/2011
Msg: 45
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/20/2012 4:59:04 PM
So, how would a person determine if someone they are seeing has put up a fantasy profile?
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 46
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/20/2012 5:06:54 PM
at least he doesn't do it in real life
 Mr_Celibate
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 47
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/20/2012 5:34:35 PM

Do they ever outgrow it?

Yes we do outgrow it, but only if we have somebody snooping over our shoulder and complaining about it. Then it's possible.
 ScorpioH
Joined: 8/25/2007
Msg: 48
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/21/2012 11:22:26 AM
I just came across your post and my feeling is that I believe addiction is not the right word. Internet dating sites are here for people to create connections. When you meet someone offline from an online dating site , it does take time to build a relationship. Some people will never be satisfied with whom they meet so they are going to keep attending the Candy store and see if they could find better. My feeling is that once people are connected and they are happy with one another , they will take themselves off the site or become inactive. If someone keeps looking then they arent the commiting type and probably will never be OR they arent truly happy with whom they are seeing . It does take time to build a relationship and if this man likes alot of attention and alot of variety then why are you wasting your time.. Just remember a leopard cannot change their spots and listen to your heart .
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 49
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History
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/21/2012 11:27:29 AM
Darn, I've been found out!

The only site I'm addicted to is the POF forums!
 blonde.sugar
Joined: 1/3/2012
Msg: 50
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/22/2012 10:44:02 AM
Scorpio - and all similar posts:

You are right. I've decided to stop seeing him. Thanks for your input.
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