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 imdamaged
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 71
Men who are addicted to internet dating sitesPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Im hoping so cause i have one too. my man is addicted to talking to girls and he says he has been for 15 years. he says hes trying to break it but it dont seem like it. I would also like to know if there is hope cause Im carrying his baby and
I love him very much! Its nice to know im not alone in this struggle. KIK me butterfly82fairy we can chat about it
 imdamaged
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 72
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/9/2014 8:52:05 PM
im trying that and it hasnt worked for his exes
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 73
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/10/2014 2:37:57 AM

Im hoping so cause i have one too. my man is addicted to talking to girls and he says he has been for 15 years. he says hes trying to break it but it dont seem like it. I would also like to know if there is hope cause Im carrying his baby and
I love him very much! Its nice to know im not alone in this struggle. KIK me butterfly82fairy we can chat about it


And you want to chat with strangers on KIK? Seriously?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 74
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/10/2014 3:39:48 AM
With any behavior that someone describes as an "addiction," to solve it, you have to find out what it's really about. Most of the time, it isn't a real "addiction" at all, in that a real addiction is physiological, and results from brain chemistry problems which the addictive drug brings about. With behavioral addictions, it's especially hard to tell the difference between addiction and what might better be called simple greed.

The main indication that it is an actual addiction, is if you take away their ability to do what they claim to be addicted to, and they actually suffer physical withdrawal symptoms. Not just anxiety, not just restlessness, and certainly not just boredom.

"Curing" this kind of thing is a matter of the "addicted" person figuring out exactly why they feel the urge to do what they do, and then actively seek out another way to get the same sense of satisfaction.
 Princess12524
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 75
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/10/2014 4:37:43 AM
A mature balanced person will want to have a relationship & realizes they have to work on things.

A maladjusted player wanna-be will troll endlessly.

I always did best w/ men from in real life, not the ones who think they r gonna meet Pam Anderson-Barbie-Britney-Paris-Jenna Jameson. If such a woman really existed, she wouldn't be online & if she was, why would she want to be w/ Joe Schmo, she wants Tommy Lee-Ken-Justin Timberlake-Fabio, etc.????
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 76
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/10/2014 8:07:17 AM
Yes. I am addicted to the forums.

I can see why people may get sort of addicted to the sites themselves. It's the candy store syndrome. Imagine you go there every day and day dream of all the candy you can get. Then you get one piece of candy, but now do not know how to change the habit of going to the candy store and look at all the candy.

So, what to do? Make sure you got a piece of candy that was worth the flavor, the taste, and the memory of that candy.
Realize that to get the other candy, you will have do again start sending messages and all that work. Why bother when you already have good candy.

I see this problem not just with men, but a lot of women out there. They are constantly looking for something better, consequently whatever is in front of them is never ever truly appreciated. That is in itself a sign of insecurity and it dooms any chance at any relationship.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 77
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/10/2014 8:27:40 AM
"I see this problem not just with men, but a lot of women out there. They are constantly looking for something better, consequently whatever is in front of them is never ever truly appreciated."

I agree completely.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 78
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/10/2014 9:40:30 AM
Chatting up women on the internet when he is supposed to be your BF, is disrespectful and dishonest. But, if that's the kind of man you feel you deserve....................
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 79
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/10/2014 9:59:19 AM
There are of course people out there looking for something better, but really, if someone is friendly, loves to talk online or post on forums, etc., then they are addicted or looking for something better, why? Maybe they just happen to like something a lot, that you don't find important. This is simply a case of not wanting to find a match, so settling on someone you don't really like or don't like their behavior, but sticking around to 'fix' them into what you think they should be. Leave them alone, go find someone compatible, very few people want to be your project. Look at this way, what's with your addiction to change people into what you want? Someone telling me what I should or shouldn't like doing is going to send me moving on along, I have no time for those who think they are right, I'm wrong, and they are going to teach me a lesson. But let's say someone has an actual addiction to something and you don't like it, it means they are not a match for you, move on.
 Princess12524
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 80
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/13/2014 12:25:33 PM
A mature balanced person will want to have a relationship & realizes they have to work on things.


I definitely disagree here. There are people who don't have to work on things because they have the system down pat. They can get what they want and need from online sites on an as needed basis and choose to forego a relationship because it would contribute nothing to their well being.

In my opinion that would be immature & not well-balanced. Well balanced people are capable of MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS!
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 81
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/13/2014 12:39:13 PM
But let's not forget that one can be well-balanced and happy and mentally healthy and not want a relationship. Wanting to be in a relationship is not the end all being for everyone.
 Princess12524
Joined: 12/23/2013
Msg: 82
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/13/2014 1:56:25 PM
think what Princess is driving at is the idea of capable of maintaining a relationship is what is balanced. People who chose to go it alone might still be capable of a relationship, yet decide against it. I think what she questions is the morality of using dating as an emotional gas station.

CORRECT! A person who cannot be a friend, etc. cannot maintain a relationship that is healthy.
Most people have had times in their life when they were in between partners BUT were capable had they chosen to, or capable when their parent wasn't ill, or their job wasn't relocating, or when they were going thru a medical crisis themself, etc.

dating as an emotion gas station- great analogy. Or mental vampires, sucking the life out of you & then ditching u when u r drained.
 Robeecology
Joined: 1/16/2014
Msg: 83
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/13/2014 2:31:23 PM
Ask him (politely) to prove he's serious - by showing you he's "cancelled" his subscriptions.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 84
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/13/2014 8:43:22 PM
1)if someone keeps allowing you to indulge in bad behavior that makes you feel good...why would you ever stop? its not like your life is going to change for the better--you already have their company. might as well have their company AND the thrill of doing the bad thing.

2)he wants attention. are you staying with him so that you can keep his attention? if so, that would be the glue that holds you two together--in the company of each other, you both feel normal about needing attention more than respect.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 85
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 2/14/2014 4:57:01 PM
OP, they probably never outgrow their addiction. Besides, it's what keeps all the sheisters in business.
 tattooedshepherd72
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 86
 forever_live_and_die
Joined: 10/3/2017
Msg: 87
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 1/10/2018 7:02:10 AM

90 - OP, they probably never outgrow their addiction.

I'm curious as to what kind of addiction one might outgrow. They'd have to be pretty minor addictions for that to happen.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 88
Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 1/11/2018 11:24:45 AM
One of the things said about alcoholism, is that it begins as a solution to other problems. Social anxiety, etc. If that's so, then one may not "outgrow" so much as "replace" with another addiction, or simply no longer need the addiction to be a solution to another problem (b/c they solved the root of the problem).
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 89
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 1/12/2018 12:19:18 AM
She knew that guy was not going to step up, so she was shopping around for someone to be her baby's daddy. Maybe she even wanted to pretend it was the next guy's baby.
 FunJinSD
Joined: 3/4/2018
Msg: 90
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/3/2018 9:17:26 AM
I'm on a few sites but I'm also not in a relationship right now. I will continue to use them only until I find someone who I'm really interested in, and if it progresses to being a serious relationship then you won't find me on any dating sites. I'm not here to boost my ego, I'm here to hopefully not have to be here!

I feel the same towards a partner, if she's serious about me than she won't be on dating sites. If she were, I'd really wonder whether she's serious about "us".
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 91
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Men who are addicted to internet dating sites
Posted: 4/4/2018 11:50:24 PM

Also to clarify: HE is the one that (occasionally) talks about progressing the relationship. I tell him I won't while he still on dating sites.

You have given him an ULTIMATUM - which means your relationship is DEAD. People who give ultimatums have already decided to actually DO whatever it is they have threatened....they will keep dropping IF this, or IF that, .... until something is violated and they can carry out their threat ---- "because YOU made me!"

This means you will NEVER progress the relationship. You've already decided it needs to end, and you want to blame HIM for it, but he doesn't act like it's over, and that's frustrating for you. Well...maybe you're both happy threatening each other and never changing...???
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