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 coderedjulia1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 85
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day mealPage 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
So if a girl expects the guy to pay for dinner then she is a hooker? Honestly if I went out on a date with a guy and he told me how much my half was, I'd pay my half and leave. Apparently some men don't know how to be a gentlemen. If you feel that you are being used cause of that, then you shouldn't prolly be dating.
 StevefromUpland
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 86
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Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 11:42:20 AM
There is also something to be said about being a lady and not demanding things. That's very unladylike. But of course everyone always focuses on what is required of a man.

I suppose you get mad at your friends too when they give you a birthday present out of the kindness of their heart and it isn't expensive or good enough for you?
 SpringfieldLady65803
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 87
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Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 12:25:57 PM
It's leap year already. You should pay it all if it was your suggestion. He will suggest dates that he can afford, then he should pay. Or, you can agree on a "Dutch Treat" and then forget about it. You are making yourself anxious by thinking about it.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 88
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 12:26:34 PM

coderedjulia1:
Honestly if I went out on a date with a guy and he told me how much my half was, I'd pay my half and leave. Apparently some men don't know how to be a gentlemen.


Is your middle name Goldigger? So your purpose for dating is to get free meals and drinks? You shouldn't prolly be dating.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 89
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 12:40:47 PM
So if a girl expects the guy to pay for dinner then she is a hooker? Honestly if I went out on a date with a guy and he told me how much my half was, I'd pay my half and leave. Apparently some men don't know how to be a gentlemen. If you feel that you are being used cause of that, then you shouldn't prolly be dating.


First off, if a girl expects a guy to pay for dinner, she shouldn't persuade him to go out by offering to pay her half.

Secondly, I don't think in this day and age being a gentleman means always picking up the tab. The way I operate is that I always pick up the tab. After two or three dates, if the woman hasn't offered to pay for anything, I don't ask her out again. I'm looking for an equal partner, not a dependant to claim on my taxes.

That doesn't make me any cheaper than the woman (who hasn't contributed a dime).
 seventiesbaby2
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 90
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 12:45:56 PM
If he didnt have money to go out to dinner you dont go. If he cared about you and you were special to him I am sorry to say he would have saved for the day like many men i know do . You obviously feel bad about this and that he didnt pay for you. Next time dont suggest going out if the man dont want to. He didnt want to go out to eat.
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 91
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 12:49:05 PM
Maleman 99: My middle name isn't gold digger. I have paid for dates before. I HAVE BOUGHT GUYS DINNER AND DRINKS BEFORE. I'm simply saying on the first date, you should pay. I'm not a gold digger, you are just cheap and prolly just trying to get down a girls pants. So how about you shut your mouth. You don't even know me.
 shygirl413
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 92
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 1:16:54 PM
I wouldnt go out with a guy and pay on valentines day ,. thats just me.. sounds like you forced him to go out and he didnt want to go. Thats never a good thing to do. Maybe this guy dont like you that much if he didnt save to take you out.. you ever think of that?
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 93
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 2:52:39 PM

maybe what we need is to phuk like minks




Psst; you're forgetting to use your 'inside voice' again. yup; we all heard/saw that thought



Naughty

 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 94
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 3:02:25 PM
The way I operate is that I always pick up the tab. After two or three dates, if the woman hasn't offered to pay for anything, I don't ask her out again.


Gotta tell yas buddy; I dont even do that anymore. Generally (now) we START at Dutch; and as we build trust in each others intentions and company, you will notice me starting to just cover the umbrella, or full cost.

Your method got way too expensive for me, and actually got to be embarrassing.

Truthfully, if sex and/or getting to be close to a charming gal was to be my "reward"; renting a hooker and having her do exactly as I say, while I did exactly as I wanted to do, and having her leave when I wanted.... would be far more worth it.

Nah; a girlfriend is what I am looking for now, not a "lady" I've invested in on my arms.

Whoreshops never advertise "women"; they always advertise "ladies".

(wonder why)




So if a girl expects the guy to pay for dinner then she is a hooker?


Payment for her company?

Naaaa; nothing LIKE a hooker. (nothin at all)
 x_file
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 95
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 3:15:23 PM

he is basically saying that you are not worth buying a meal for. Cheap. Very cheap.


Oh, thank god for your brilliant wisdom! What would mankind do without it!

Are you not capable of comprehending that the very thing you are saying applies to women too?

Can you not see your hypocrisy? When a woman doesn't pay, isn't she saying he's basically not worth buying a meal for? Why does your logic apply to men, but not women?

Care to explain or are you just full of hot air?



I have seen it happen with other people, they guys get cheap and then they stop putting forth effort in other areas of the relationship too.


Who among us is the cheap as.hole, the guy who pays for dinner, however much, or the woman who doesn't spent a penny on the date, who thinks the guy should pay for dinner, and who gets offended when someone suggests she pays for half the bill? Seriously! Unreal.



Personally, I don't see why you couldn't have paid for the whole meal and told him"Happy Valentine's Day, honey. THis is my treat. Thanks for coming out with me tonight."


It is what I would do! But only for a woman who would do the same for me - not because she owes me, or because of some rule, or because I paid before, or because she wants to do something nice for me, or show me appreciation - but rather because she simply wants to, is the type of woman she is and perhaps because she enjoys my company. And guess what? In this case, I would pay the bill before she even gets a chance to see it.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 96
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 3:18:18 PM
Your method got way too expensive for me, and actually got to be embarrassing.


I don't really date that often, plus I lean toward inexpensive dates at first.

Some women get it, some don't. Those that do always will, those that don't probably never will.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 97
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 3:25:23 PM
Everyone deserves to be w/ someone who wants them just as much as they do...but in the forums, we see many stories about someone who is more into the other person.

If I see that the other person is into me more or less than I am into them, finito. The wanting should be a mutual thing
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 98
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 3:41:03 PM

Obviously she doesnt place any value on spending time with him it would seem

Have mercy! She says they've been seeing each other 3 months & haven't gone out since their first date in a pub or something. Per the OP she has been cooking at home for him all this time. He can't come up with a night out at a moderately priced restaurant on Valentine's Day to make his lady feel special? It sounds like she's been making him feel special for the last 3 months.


So giving him a detailed price list would seem the best option, as that works pretty well for all the other hookers I've known

She needs to give him a price list & a bill for the girlfriend experience he's been getting for the last 3 months.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 99
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 4:20:44 PM
Yes first date was in the pub for a drink and from then always we stay in or we go for shopping during the day. No meals out.....

OP, I understand why you insisted, you wanted him to make you feel special & appreciated, since it seems he never has. He has money, but he's not going to spend it on you. He's so cheap! Why are you with someone like that? You are being treated like dog poop on the bottom of his shoe.
He should have been a gentleman, taken you out to dinner & paid the bill. He should have bought you a card, & a small gift to let you know he cares for you.
OP, he a cheap inconsiderate man who doesn't care for you at all. He treats you like you are a FB or FWB. I'd put him on the back burner, & start dating others. I hope you find a man who treats you a lot better than this cheap jerk.
 Uonlyliveonce5
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 100
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/17/2012 9:32:21 PM
OP is wrong. You offered to pay 1/2 the bill and then you complained. Don't bother offering next time. You sound like a little baby
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 101
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/18/2012 5:05:24 AM
Normally, the women who take me out for Valentine's Day dinner pay the entire bill.
 shygirl413
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 102
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/18/2012 5:41:10 PM
I wouldnt pay for a guy on valentines day. I dont get a gift for him either but men do for me all the time and they pay to take me out. I think paying for a guy sometimes is desperate. I do pay when i first date someone though
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 103
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/18/2012 6:04:22 PM

She needs to give him a price list & a bill for the girlfriend experience he's been getting for the last 3 months.


Sorta agree.

He may be saving for a house or big trip or something though.
 AdventureFred77
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 104
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Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/18/2012 6:05:30 PM
Yes, as gentlemen it's understood to treat a woman like she is special, the ONLY one, a princess. We get a fresh hair cut, wear dry cleaned attire, take a shower, put cologne on, get our car detailed, make a reservation at a classy place, pay for the meal & wine, spend the gas money for going 2-3 places that night. This is understood, but to pay for the meal every single time, NO! That woman is a mootch and will be dumped. It's nice to me a lady that shows her appreciation, not just by saying thank you, but to take notice of ALL the efforts the guy did for the evening and when she says....lets go to this place for dessert; it's my treat. That melts our hearts as men. Just the dessert. We know dessert is important to a woman, because it's well prepared, it's special; it's quality. The big hug, the lite kiss on the lips with a warm thank you for a lovely evening means the world to us guys.

One of the best dates I have been on since living in San Antonio, is the Alpha Female, that has a $55,000.00 Infinity, her own 3 bedroom house, a truck and a boat.....she always splits the bill with me. Every single time. I asked her why; she said; that way it's not awkward, no expectations, you will always want to keep going out with me and I will be the FIRST one that you call when you want to try a new expensive place. I said, you are exactly right. We have dated over a year and have come into each other's friends group and still continue to have amazing dates!
 cautiousluv
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 105
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Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/18/2012 6:08:28 PM
I don't think you wanting to go out on Valentines day and who was going to pay is the main problem.


Since we met we never went out because he doesn't like it, how selfish makes me that that I wanted in three months with him to go one night out, and he is not broke at all


I think THIS is the real problem. You all have never been out because HE DOESN'T LIKE IT? This is ridiculous. If he is like this now......imagine how he's going to be down the road if you continue seeing him.


I think I missing something in here


Yea......that your BF seems to be a self centered jerk! Good luck with that.
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 106
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/18/2012 8:55:50 PM
Read it and stop your ****ing.
http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_150/190_dating_advice.html
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 107
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/18/2012 10:56:05 PM
Read it and stop your ****ing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is in the article:
It’s only a general rule of thumb, not an explicit formula that you have to follow devotedly.

Personal preference. Isn't it nice that they say it's general, following devotedly isn't required. Are they all-knowing? But, follow it you must. This ranks up there with the 50's telling women how to take care of their man. A woman telling women, now a man telling men. If must be true. BS. My GF used to make 95 before the recession, now she makes between 65-75 because her income is based on tips. Her goal is to move to Rockford Illinois, buy some land, and build a log cabin on it that, in her word's, is off the grid. We went there this summer and she purchased the land. She'll be moving there in March 2013 to build her cabin. In the beginning of our relationship (2003), she had a problem of taking us out for meals and spending money like crazy, and because her income was based on tips thought nothing of leaving heavy tips. She thought nothing of spending $40.00 on lunch at Famous Dave's. I told her she'd never get her dream at that rate. This was when she was making 95. She calmed down her spending. I'm not moving to Rockford and we agreed on this when we first hooked up. I will not move to Rockford because I don't like cold, snow, wind, and bears (not the team, but actual bears). I've seen them. I've told her she needs to get a 7mm magnum with high velocity loads. As for me, I'm staying here because my home is almost paid off, I'm close to the base for future hospital needs, my kids live here, I love the weather, I'm close to the airport.

Your relationship(s) should not be based on what others think, or what articles say. This whole conversation is because of a meal, do you realize that? People have said they'd dump someone because of a meal, do you realize that? There's more important things in relationships than a meal. Men will dump you if you don't pay, women will dump you if you don't pay. If you really love someone you won't leave them even if they don't take you out on Valentine's Day. If you leave them then you really didn't love them. You'd leave someone because of a meal? I don't think so. You'd miss out on the other 364 days. This article that you presented talks about who should pay. Normally, I wouldn't even read an article like this, but I read it because you presented it. If it's not associated with who should pay, what's your point? It's just a meal that unless you're starving, shouldn't even matter. You help him reach his dreams, and he'll help you reach yours. If he's buying you a meal, but not helping you reach your dreams, you have no idea what a real relationship is. I think you need to reevaluate that meal.
 spartanx
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 108
Paying half of the bill for Valentines Day meal
Posted: 2/18/2012 10:59:01 PM
whoever makes more money should pay the bill, as for me im a cheap ass, ill take my girl for a happy meal at mcds, and call it a day
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