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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me      Home login  
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 toogoodtobdwn
Joined: 5/7/2013
Msg: 94
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa mePage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
amen..its a cruel joke
 pageforyou
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 95
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/11/2013 12:28:45 PM
Ha! 40's and 50's have been such a great transition. No MORE taking crap from people, especially men, thinking I need them to be " the boss of me" because they know better, lol! When actually, and I have no idea why it took me so long to get it, but they're just protecting and pitching for what they want and "spinning" it to fit whoever will buy it. ; P
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 96
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/11/2013 5:47:45 PM
+1 pageforyou,

Ha! 40's and 50's have been such a great transition.


I've been so lucky since I hit my 50s. I've got to meet some great men the last few years. Arthritis and bengay visits me regurally and they never seem to leave my side. Plus look at all the great perks we get, AARP and some great restaurants may even give you a few discounts. LOL
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 97
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Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/11/2013 6:52:25 PM
HA! I recently turned 58 and I love it! All of a sudden I'm full of sass and piss and vinegar....All of a sudden, I don't care what other people think and I don't take as much guff from others as I did when I was younger. I no longer care as much about the rules. I had a "fling" a year ago; something I would never have even considered when I was younger. Funny thing is that I know so many women my age who are feeling the same way. I have no idea why, but I am happier than I've ever been in my life.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 98
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Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/11/2013 8:57:09 PM
I was scared, now I look forward to it.
 April1963
Joined: 6/7/2013
Msg: 99
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/13/2013 10:54:21 AM
I have a lot of respect for numbers. In many ways numbers rule our lives.


True!

I will be fifty this year, and I'm not scared. but it makes me sad to say my age.My daughter laughs at me and tells me that when I meet the 50 she is going to tell me the lady of the 5 decades.


I did not like that !!!





 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 100
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/13/2013 12:37:42 PM
I've past 50 several years ago and it was liberating for me.
I agree with the ladies that say it's a whole new "I don't care
what you think about me" attitude. I speak up more now, I've
learned to say NO without qualifiers, I wear what I want even
if others think I look goofy, and I don't let anyone give me a hard
time about anything.

I used to worry about how I looked and how much I weighed and
what are people thinking when they look at me. Now I don't care
what they think. I think I look pretty good. I'm happy, I have a
great family and a new grand daughter...life is good.
 Midwest_Southwest
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 101
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/13/2013 12:51:44 PM
Yes! ^^^

For anyone bothered by 50 or 60 or anything, tell yourself (or others who care) that you're 90. Feels good, doesn't it? Pretty much blows assumptions and expectations out of the water. I don't usually endorse lying, but its such an obvious lie no one will think you're trying to pull something on them, and it helps eliminate internal age worries to just have fun with it. On another dating site, I had my age as 93. It was fun, and the fun guys laughed. Plus- there were some other middle aged women up there in the 80's-90's group with me.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 102
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/13/2013 1:33:59 PM
Going to be 47 next month. Didn't think about it and don't care unless someone keeps reminding me to stop doing the crazy things I do cause I'm getting older. I really do have to remind my self how old I'm as I don't feel old. I know for a fact there are lots of people like me out there who are active. Only thing that bothers me with getting older is that I can't run as far and as long up a steep hill. Got to watch my self when lifting something very heavy or spending all day in a kayak fighting the waves and the wind. The payment is the next day when the back is so sore I need to rest longer then I'm used to.
If you think about being 50 it means you have too much time on your hands doing nothing. The people who seem to worry about getting older are the ones who don't stay active. Go hiking camping ride bikes or what ever activity that would get your outside of the house. That alone would keep you busy and happy and you won't care much about your next birthday.

Whats with so many women posting on here that after they passed 50 they stoped carring about how they look or how they act??? Just stop carring ...
Browneyesboo I'm not trying to bust your chops but you seem to mirror same thing that so many women on here keep saying

[ I've past 50 several years ago and it was liberating for me.
I agree with the ladies that say it's a whole new "I don't care
what you think about me" attitude. I speak up more now, I've
learned to say NO without qualifiers, I wear what I want even
if others think I look goofy, and I don't let anyone give me a hard
time about anything.

I used to worry about how I looked and how much I weighed and
what are people thinking when they look at me. Now I don't care
what they think. I think I look pretty good. I'm happy, I have a
great family and a new grand daughter...life is good. ]

I think taking care of oneself and even do care how you look when you go out in public. It has to do also about how you feel inside about your self.
There were other threads when some men complained. Some women when they get older they start to act and dress more like men including short hair cuts and even way they walk.
Why do some old people stop carring about things??? Is it some way to tell the world that you can do with out it?? Is it some defense mechanisem ?
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 103
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/13/2013 10:07:10 PM
I've had such bad luck dating since I was 42..when I was done with a very long term relationship. Being in my 40's has offered me no benefits whatsoever. I'm middle age, men dont look twice at me, it;'s been over for quite some time. What few dates I have been on I've discovered the guy has herpes, or is a player, or just not that into me. Turning 50 is a no brainer. I have no opinion of what whatsoever..its going to be the same old same old..a few dates here and there that add up to nothing..and I'm already tired of it. Dating is INCREDIBLY hard at this age. Most guys are married, and most of the good, cool, attractive men that hit on me are married. So what good is this. At least at 50 I wont feel like I am missing out on anything. My energy and money is going into world travel..and THAT excites me FAR more than sitting on the couch having some "we have to talk" discussion with someone.

Im sure there are men who feel the same way.

Its a drag, but we are not monogamous creatures..and that never shows up as much as it does in middle age.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 104
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Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/14/2013 6:36:07 AM
lagoodguy...I think you might be missing our point.

I can only speak for myself. Yes, I do still care how I look whether I am in public or not. I do take care of myself--but I do it for MYSELF-not for anyone else. I am much more comfortable with who I am now than I ever have been. It's not about telling the world anything. It's not a defense mechanism. It's saying "I like who I am. I don't seek affirmation from anyone else."

I guess it's hard to explain, but it's really not about you, or other men, or society, or anyone else. It's just about how we have come to feel about ourselves. In my case, it's about finally understanding and accepting myself. BTW-I don't consider myself "old". I'm enjoying life more than I ever have. I am more adventurous than I was at a younger age. Maybe it's just a "woman" thing because many of the women I talk to who are my age are the same way.

Laissez les bon temps rouler!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 105
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/14/2013 7:50:50 AM
There were other threads when some men complained. Some women when they get older they start to act and dress more like men including short hair cuts and even way they walk.
Why do some old people stop carring about things??? Is it some way to tell the world that you can do with out it?? Is it some defense mechanisem ?


Who said I stopped caring about me? I stopped caring about what others think of me. I think I look good. I've stopped
worrying about the 10 pounds I keep losing and gaining...if others think it looks bad on me...fark em. I'm in great shape
as far as my health goes, I always dress nice, I wear hats, pearls and flower pins, I walk like I own the world and I smile
most of the time.

Seriously...why do you aquaint "taking care of oneself" with how others perceive you?

Point out in my post where I said I stopped caring how I look or act.
I believe I said I stopped caring what other people think when they look at me.

I look pretty hot for an almost 61 year old...thank you...thank you very much.
 MurphysLaw101
Joined: 6/6/2013
Msg: 106
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/15/2013 9:42:59 AM
""I think taking care of oneself and even do care how you look when you go out in public. It has to do also about how you feel inside about your self.
There were other threads when some men complained. Some women when they get older they start to act and dress more like men including short hair cuts and even way they walk.
Why do some old people stop carring about things??? Is it some way to tell the world that you can do with out it?? Is it some defense mechanisem ?""

Is this the perception? That we don't care about ourselves? Nope, you're wrong.

I gave up high heels years ago because of arthritis plus the fact that high heels hurt. I find the best looking, cutest (to me) shoes that are comfortable...if this means, to some folks, "letting myself go", too bad. Walk a mile in my shoes.

I cut off my long hair a number of years ago too. I wanted wash and wear and not blow dry, curling iron, etc. I love my sassy, spikey hair. If a man doesn't find it attractive, too bad.

I dress comfortably, for me. I work in an office so I'm not a slob, I take pride in my appearance and if the fact that I wear pants seems masculine, too bad. I still like my tight ass jeans, I still look great in them. And if tight ass jeans and a t-shirt are too masculine, to bad.

Many of us DO care about how we look, we've just tossed out some of those things like high heels and pencil skirts and pantyhose. If it seems we've tossed aside all those things that were "attractive" to men and replaced if with a more comfortable style, so what. We also don't demand a full head of hair and washboard abs that we may have been looking for when we were 25 or 30. We're realistic, we know we've aged, we know what looks best on us and we know what makes us feel good. Contrary to many men, we KNOW we've aged and we do the best we can with what we have while some men still look in the mirror and see the reflection of the college football player they were 30 some odd years ago...now that's reality.

I don't know about you but I love the woman I've become, I wouldn't trade it for my 25 year old self. I am so much more than what I was 30 years ago. So, I'll keep my comfy shoes, my wrinkles, my not so flat stomach and my brain and heart because that's what gives me character, keeps me grounded, gives me power and still makes me a sexual, sensual and intelligent human being. I accept me for me, not what I was.
 malinhead
Joined: 10/16/2006
Msg: 107
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Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 6/19/2013 7:08:16 PM
The alternative to aging is much worse.
 liketo
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 108
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 7/12/2013 7:05:24 PM
I am getting close to 73. Next month i am going to china to get married . And do the tourist and shopping thing in Guilin, china. The famous river Li offers a 4 hour boat cruise. Count me in.
 jimintoronto2
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 109
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 7/14/2013 9:59:34 AM
I am getting close to 73. Next month i am going to china to get married . And do the tourist and shopping thing in Guilin, china. The famous river Li offers a 4 hour boat cruise. Count me in.


Good for you. I'm originally from Vancouver and love your beautiful part of the province. My 71st birthday is next month and I'm still in perfect health. I don't even have any aches or pains, such as arthritis or whatever, although I don't understand why I'm so lucky. I gave up worrying about my age long ago and still get occasional compliments about my appearance, as I do look after myself. A lot of younger people I've met recently, who invariably ask about my age, guess that I'm in my late 50's. I always tell them my true age once they've finished guessing and they're always surprised.
 dsl1962
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 110
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 7/15/2013 12:34:28 PM
bluntly and to the point, it really doen't matter how you are feeling right now 'cause you will cross the threshold. wants and wishes don't mean squat. time passes. so, I advise you to stop fretting and find the funny side of it all. I'd rather have laugh wrinkles than worry-lines
 Miss_ing
Joined: 8/17/2013
Msg: 111
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 11/29/2013 6:35:45 PM
I am approaching 50 in 10 months. I love being this age. People make it sound like the end of life but to me it is just the beginning of being a mature grown up. Those women with great figures, well styled hair, the purposeful twinkle and the audacity to say anything at any time to torcher the young. That's what I want to be a an opinionated women. Unafraid to talk to any man at any age, to able to play match maker for the young and able to give wise advice. I want to be that older women that heads up the community events and gets all the respect. If you worry about this being the end of youth then you have it backward. Your just coming into your own and if men had any common sense they would run because you are powerful in your own right. One take your power clothes those special pieces that make you feel beautiful, put your make up on, do all the beauty techniques and walk out the door and shop, run errands and look around, be aware of the people staring. You will see your more perfect now then you were 20 or 30 years ago. Good luck.
 SteveJ7
Joined: 11/30/2013
Msg: 112
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 12/4/2013 6:35:03 PM
I turned 50 in may and I'm having a real, I mean REAL hard time with it....right now I feel like life has passed me by and it's basically all over
 Blueline294
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 113
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 12/4/2013 6:50:10 PM
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me.

^^^^^^

I used to think that.....in hind sight it wasn't so bad now that I'm approaching 60.

It's funny how when your in your 20's aging seems non existent until you hit 29 and then all of a sudden your going to be 30....hmmm well at least I'm not an old 40 something right? and then before you know it damn if you aren't one of THOSE 40 somethings....but not to fear because it's a long time till I'm one of those old folks in their 50's.....funny I'm only 48 why am I getting these AARP mailings? Well crap now I'm one of those "old people" in their 50's...I don't feel old...I don't think I look "old" what do you mean I get a "senior" discount on my coffee.... come on somebody card me for alcohol or something.....whoa wait a minute what's up with the 60 bearing down on me.....there's no way I can be this old....no frickin way.....you mean I'm so old now that I can't even message a 46 year old woman on a dating site?.....Yep 50 scared the crud outta me too....but I'm thinking 60 is gonna "stomp" it outta me. All in good fun!!! Don't let 50 scare you like the others above had said "it beats the alternative"
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 114
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Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 12/5/2013 12:51:12 AM
I turned 50 a couple of weeks ago. I feel fine! I just started in a new career doing something I am passionate about- child protection- and am about to embark on 8 months of training. My partner turns 60 next May and I swear he takes life on like a 30 year old. I do not fear ageing, but I do fear infirmity. Because of this I tend to try and enjoy life rather than mourning the loss of youth.
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 115
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 12/5/2013 1:30:27 PM
Interestingly, I have been looking hopefully at my 50's...as my 40's have essentially sucked. I figure if I can shake off the remaining years, make it to 50 I'll have my house paid off, can ease up my work schedule and maybe..at the point..try dating again.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 116
Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 12/5/2013 1:36:09 PM
50 didn't bother me and 60 didn't either.
I sometimes do the math...as in "when my granddaughter
graduates highschool I'll be 79" and then I sort of gag.

But other than that all is right with the world...so far.
But it's the holiday season and I work in retail part time.
But then the holidays will be over and the new year will
be here...and all will be right again!
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 117
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Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 12/5/2013 1:36:31 PM
Fifty? I'd kill to be 50. I just turned 65 and it sucks.
 completelyhappy
Joined: 10/3/2010
Msg: 118
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Approaching 50 and it's scaring the Crud outa me
Posted: 12/9/2013 4:09:22 PM
I started dating again at age 51 -never had time to have jitters about age because I was so busy raising kids and working- and then post divorce I thought I had to date alot of people to prove myself which of course is absurd, but divorce emotions are what they are.
I finally realized I was content in my own company after several non-commital men came through my journey and now just go out and have fun doing what I like to do, either with friends or by myself - and if I meet someone complete along my path I will be content to expand my horizons - the deal is to love yourself completely and be happy with yourself so that whether you're in a relationship or not, you are still complete.

blessings
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