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 aylaausten
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 95
How can you know if someone is genuine? Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
You're not letting this go and moving on. You're not listening to the advice that people here are giving you, nor are you listening to your own better judgment. What happened to your idea of seeking counseling and working on your self esteem? They were good ideas that you should follow through with. You're still trying to figure this all out and trying to manipulate it into a specific result.

We have all been in situations where we've let our insecurities get the better of us. We've all been in situations where the other has seen sides of us that aren't particularly nice, where we haven't been on our best behavior. But make no mistake, those bad sides are a part of us just as much as what you call being what we're "really like." That IS what we're really like, too, either on a bad day or if we're just not ready to be dating yet.

It is no one's job to reassure you. That's your responsibility. When you're feeling secure and ready to date then you'll be able to do that for yourself. Of course you're smart, funny, and pretty, and one day someone you like will see that and adore you. Believe that. Who cares if he was mean or misjudged you, and who cares who or what he wants to date. He is showing you that he doesn't want to date you. That's all you need to know.

Maybe you did go about everything wrong. Or maybe it wasn't ever going to work out anyway, no matter what you did. You're going to have to learn to deal with not getting the answers to all of your questions. Even if he did contact you and wanted to see you again (for whatever reason), you would be so desperate for it to work out that you would react the same way again because you haven't taken the steps to help yourself.

It's not your fault, nor is it his. You haven't blown anything. I can see that you are clinging to hope here for this to work out, but I have to go with my last post that it's more about what you're projecting onto this and not even about the guy himself anymore. Let this go and do the work on yourself or you're just going to repeat the same thing over and over. If you don't at least learn something from all of this, then that would be a big mistake.
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 96
How can you know if someone is genuine?
Posted: 2/26/2012 3:34:09 PM
""So is there anyway I could ever have a chance with this guy? I feel like I went about everything completely wrong and wish I had the opportunity for him to see what I'm really like, when I'm enjoying my life and being happy in my skin. Or should I just give up? Have I really blown it with this guy?""

Providing he were to give you another chance, in all likelyhood the same thing would happen again. Another guy comes along, the same thing will happen again... and then again. You really need to get that you need to work on yourself before you can be successful in a relationship... it doesn't work to try to fool people that you're really o.k on the inside when you aren't... which seems to me to be your back-up plan... to lure him back and then try to play it cool the second time around while you are still insecure and depressed and with no work having been done to fix those problems.

Do the work. Address your issues, get healthy and don't be in too much of a hurry to have a relationship. You have plenty of time for that. You are very young and pretty, and when you start feeling good about yourself the guys will see that, and they'll be falling all over themselves to get to you. You won't have to chase after anybody... let alone this guy. Good luck to you.
 J_bird61
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 97
How can you know if someone is genuine?
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:50:40 PM
I loath texting.
My advice - stop.
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