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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 51
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?Page 3 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

Have anyone found the forums to be helpful in understanding yourself or other people?


Absolutely!


Are people more or less honest than you expected?


Honest ... no.
You really have a select few that are.


Weirder that you expect?


I'd say 85% are whack jobs.
What do you expect on a free dating site.
 zookie57
Joined: 1/27/2012
Msg: 52
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/19/2012 5:14:19 PM

If I were a writer, I would write a book about this site and would find a way to dominate Markus Frind so he could have an award or something. He has done a great job for so many lonely souls.


And if I was a Dr. ,I would have say yes,as it bringing the lonely folks, upset,etc, who are in depression is real for many here, & if u are taking anti depressants its not works for u yet.

But,This site is good for those who are in need to connect till their mental health can re-connect too if possible in their later years of life.
So I would have to say it a good site for those who suffer & can find some relief here.

imo, stay active personally, & check to make sure your serotonin is ok too. A good family background,also is a good indicator in mental health in success in meeting someone too. jmo
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 53
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/19/2012 5:36:42 PM
Just a correction to my last post (#57). I meant denominate, not dominate. Wrong word. Excuse me.
 apurfectmeow
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 55
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/19/2012 5:50:15 PM
A lesson learned most recently is that more people read my posts and poetry than I believed. Some can handle my sense of humor while others can be offended by it.
The poetry forums are a place to vent my thoughts how ever they might come out.
Has that affected my dating off this site? Yes. If they cant handle me online they most certainly cant IRL.
 TOEDWY
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 56
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/19/2012 7:53:31 PM
Helpful in both ways, less honest and WAY weirder! HAha!
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 57
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 12:56:03 AM
It's been great to read that many of my experiences are just part of the communal experience of online dating. It's been surprising how many guys my age are just out for sex with strangers. Surprising that so few actually want to meet in person but are just looking for online sex chat. Surprising too how many guys my age use this site as a free escort service.

Surprising (in a good way) when a genuine intelligent thoughtful person comes along...worth wading through all the crap for it.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 58
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 4:45:35 AM
I am surprised at how many men age 35-50 feel washed up and over the hill, thinking if they haven't gotten married / had a good relationship, they might as well hang it up. At first I thought maybe they were being sarcastic, they likely have another 30-40 years of life left, that is a long time to sit around letting your brain rot watching TV shows and chatting on the internet.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 59
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 7:46:15 AM

That in this world people are very willing to share their hurt and pain instead of healing themselves. This be it anger or fear.


I think that when they share their hurt and pain, they seek healing, but just like obese people who want a QUICK weight loss program, they are not willing to put the time and effort into healing themselves. They do not know how to heal themselves. They also seek sympathy instead of true advice.


I am surprised at how many men age 35-50 feel washed up and over the hill,


They feel this way based on their past experiences and, very likely, their experiences with women on dating sites. It is too much effort to put out an effort. I suppose some women feel this way, too.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 60
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 7:58:43 AM
I've learned that a LOT of people suck a LOT more than what I first thought... but that there's STILL a few patches of Light in the Darkness
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 61
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 7:59:55 AM
Hi DragonBits

What I've learned from the forums:

- Nice Guy threads never die (they get resurrected more times than Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers put together, multiplied by the number of times Pam Anderson has had boob jobs)

- If someone could invent a magic formula for "Guaranteed E-mail Replies!" and sell it, he/she could very well become the Bill Gates of the online dating world

- Chatting on the phone/online for a few weeks and never having met in person can actually equate to having had a "relationship" for some ppl

- Coffee dates are the new movie dates

- The lower your expectations are, the fewer disappointments you'll have


 wtyl
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 62
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 10:58:32 AM
PoF forums aren't that much different than other forums IMHO:

They are an effective time waster when one is in need of a diversion.

For some, negative attention is better than NO attention.

A few (or more) folks get offended because someone else has a different opinion on a topic.

No matter how many 'rational' arguments one lines up, you rarely change someone else's position.

In this (relatively small, I suspect) subset of PoF users, there is a lot of anger, frustration. I've often wondered if one can project that out to the population at large.

I guess I've learned that I'm pretty happy with my own situation, whew.

Also, one for the OP if he's still around:


I learned about TMI, that I share way too much information, and too soon.


Saturday Night Live had a skit on this weekend where TMI translated to 'Too Much Ick', lol (and I say that in ALL fondness, DragonBits :)
 therdtymesachrm
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 63
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 11:30:40 AM
Haven't been here for long but learned quite a bit in that time.

1. Generalizations rule the forums. All men do this, all women do that. Really? Do you know all men and all women? Is there perhaps, not one bright light or maybe even two who act differently than "all" the rest?

2. My opinions usually different greatly on that all thing.

3. No one really cares what I think..no really..I am writing for my own amusement.

4. That in spite of so many posts to the contrary it is not necessary to meet someone immediately. You can actually get to know them through phone conversation first and then meet if you know that you have a reason to. It is not a waste of time to get to know the inside before the outside.

5. The majority of posters believe that fat people are lazy, sit on the couch and eat gallons of ice cream people, who have never seen the inside of a gym, don't shower and aren't worth wasting their time on. My response...I try not to respond for fear of being labeled as the "lazy,angry, militant, fat person". By the way..I don't eat ice cream, know what the inside of a gym looks like, even use one, and shower every day at least once, if not twice. And although I may not appeal to everyone (thankfully) I do appeal to someone.

6. That going outside your comfort zone, broadening your horizons and meeting someone different than you are normally attracted to, can you lead you to someone special. In the words of Anthony Robbins " “If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.”

7. There are some really cool people on the POF forums. They respond thoughtfully with a desire to help. And there are some jerks too. Such is life.

8. Lastly I have learned to re-read what I write before I hit post. The "cancel" button is an awesome feature and one that I think more people should avail themselves of. It has saved me on more than one occasion from posting something written from a place of anger or stupidity!
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 64
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 11:44:26 AM
I've also learned that sex with yourself doesn't count. So I guess my reputation as a Don Juan is cooked....
Seriously, I learned a lot of people on here get REEEEAALLLY turned on by OP bashing. That a lot of them watch Dr.Phil and seriously want to become amateur Psychologist, that some of them already are (they give crappy advice where its not wanted), that some people still live in the 50's, that others have a FREAKIN weird sex life, that 50% of the men on here are married (that's one out of two ladies....be careful), that the women on here have a higher opinion of themselves because of massive messages they receive daily (website critic somewhere, not my words, look it up), that ALL the cool ladies are from Florida or Texas, instead of being here in Montreal, and that if I want to , I can touch my head with my feet, and auto-fellatio myself.
That pretty much sums it up, the ridiculous and the not
 True_Gem
Joined: 12/10/2011
Msg: 65
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 12:15:10 PM

I don't think it alone is technology. It's the expectations... Too many are looking for that perfect person that simply doesn't exist, nor can. We are all human and introspection seems to be a lost art. We over look our own flaws and expect others to do the same. Honesty and self reflection has long since taken a back seat. Good enough for now till something better comes along seems to be the new norm for many.


Maffers, I completely agree with you on this! Amen to that! I've stated that same thing on my own profile before lol People looking for the perfect person that may not even exist and overlooking what could be perfect right in front of them. Too much options/choices at the click of the mouse. POF and other dating sites are a human catalog and it's good to have all these options but the more options you have the more confusing it can get sometimes. People are always looking for the next best thing instead of being happy with what they may have already found with someone.

We all have flaws, it all depends on the chemistry we share together, stage we are both in life, common interests, goals etc and many other things and if that other person accepts us for who we are, the "real you" flaws and all and vice versa!

I have learned a few things from the forums, some were eye openers for me, I've learned that many people have gone thru the exact same things/experiences as I have in the past and i'm not alone, I've learned any situation can be viewed very differently from others and it's nice to see the different sides, men and women think so differently sometimes and it was nice seeing the different men's points of views on certain topics/situations, I've learned that there is a lot of dishonest people on here but there are honest ones too. I've learned to always be myself no matter what, even if others won't like me (very important)...that's why I am posting haha

 funinsun32
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 66
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 12:48:06 PM
I have learned:

DATING:
** Most people are dishonest (more than I had imagined)
** NEVER meet for the first time at someone's house!
** I really don't like dating
** Listing your self as "divorced" usually means seperated or still married
** Think I need to move to another city/state/country to meet someone!!

FORUMS:
** Love to hear other people's views and there are PLENTY here
** A lot of posts are like texting, they get "misconstrued"
** I like the Forums more than my handful of dates/meets
** That being a "single Mom" is viewed as a HUGE no-no (according to the forums)
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 67
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 4:19:35 PM
I've learned that humans need each other for learning, teaching, support.
I've learned that, apparently, it's human nature (or maybe just online dating-site wise) to look for someone to blame for one's own uncomfortable feelings-and on here it's usually blaming the entire gender for the actions of one.
I've learned that I'd rather be the lone unpopular voice standing up for what I know in my heart to be right than have automatic group approval.
I've learned that this mode should be treated in the same way as food in the face of genetically modified organisms-using caution to avoid consuming toxins, with eyes wide open and being aware of the risks. I've learned that artificial electronic dating is not 100 % transferable to IRL dating and relating.
I've learned that despite the above, there are still wonderful, wise, and good hearted people in the world and on these fora!
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 68
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/20/2012 8:17:20 PM
So… I’m not the only guy who finds sweats and a ball cap sexier than heels and a mini-skirt. And it’s now de rigueur to ask for oral on a first date. Gonna up my game.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 69
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/21/2012 4:15:03 AM

And it’s now de rigueur to ask for oral on a first date.

That's so 45 seconds ago. Now you ask for sex before you meet & get a guarantee before you even leave the house. As on
e guy recently e-mailed to me...dating is for homos and losers.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 70
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/21/2012 6:30:52 AM

Have anyone found the forums to be helpful in understanding yourself or other people?

Being very honest, I see a ton of bitterness in the forums that I simply don't see displayed in the guys that I meet in real life. Maybe the forums brings it out of people, but I don't deal with all this nonsense about who buys coffee or having to put out by the 3rd date or having to be the aggressor or any of the things men constantly complain about here in the forums.

So no, I haven't found the forums to be helpful, but they ARE entertaining as hell.
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 71
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/21/2012 7:08:23 AM

Maybe the forums brings it out of people, but I don't deal with all this nonsense about who buys coffee or having to put out by the 3rd date or having to be the aggressor or any of the things men constantly complain about here in the forums.


I can relate. .. Maybe I just haven't dated enough? ...... Maybe I've just been hella lucky? .. But same here. I've never ran into any of the typical melodramatic stuff you come across on here *knocks on wood* ....... 99% of the men I met from online have been gentlemen ... always picked up the tab or could respect the fact that we go dutch ..... never pressed for sex if we went beyond the *gasp* THHHHIIIIIRD date! .......... oh man, come to think of it, believe it or not the real world of dating & relating I live in sounds like a rainbows-and-lollipops place compared to the stuff you read on here!

Stay tuned for the next ..... "As the POF Turns "!!!! ...
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 72
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/21/2012 9:24:10 AM
Hmmm. Last post to this question got zapped and I innocently thought it was a good response to what I have learned on the POF forums and dating. Guess I should change it to, if someone doesn't like it, they can delete it. I just said that there are lots of men who are going to end up in the Home waiting for the perfect woman, before they realize they passed up some great women along the way -- who moved on without them.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 73
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/21/2012 9:55:18 AM
For a minute, I thought you really were 87.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 74
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/21/2012 1:20:52 PM
valenciacityx: The Ukraine sounds so cold and forbidding, I keep thinking vodka, Dr. Zhivago and big Russian fur hats. I am sure it must be charming, but that is my mental image.

A large part of PoF is a Mutual Contempt Society. They have different chapters, but the same theme.

You are part of it, you represent the “I don't like American women group, I got a foreign bride”, then there is the “Good Riddance to you” contingent. I would think both sides should be happy, you get what you want and they get what they want.

But “I got a foreign bride” group and the the American women “good riddance” group both seem bitter.

What I don't get, why are both groups bitter?
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 75
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/21/2012 2:52:43 PM

What I don't get, why are both groups bitter?


Boredom.
Or Masochism
I personnally belong to the "I don't give a Crap" non-profitable organisation. We make sure to treat all members, male or female, with the same degree of....respect
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 76
PoF Forum and dating. What have you learned?
Posted: 2/21/2012 3:12:24 PM
Capn_America I was being a little sarcastic, I probably do get why people are bitter, but sarcasm is a lost art on a forum.

The men are bitter because they were hurt by women not wanting to date them in the quality or quantity they thought they deserved, or they got hurt in a divorce. Likely both.

The women are bitter because they are lonely, maybe some guy cheated on them, they feel past their prime, maybe a lot of boring or loser type of men are their only choices.

One reason to date younger women or younger men, they usually are not as bitter.
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