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Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 18
Totally jiltedPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I can totally relate to the fact that men will chat with you and then start texting and then meet up and even (He plans the next date) and all arrangements are made until that day comes and boom no word from him and my reply was "Hey would of been nice to get a cancel or not interested or met somebody else to notify me of cancelling the good luck in your search and please do not reply to this message NO NEED.... Cheers.

Just tell yourself another one bites the dust whooooooooo hoooooooooooooo
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 19
Totally jilted
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:15:54 AM
"I KNOW I'm not THAT bad looking! "

According to your history, that must be the problem.
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 20
Totally jilted
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:19:41 AM
"I KNOW I'm not THAT bad looking! "

According to this: "this seems to be a common thing that happens to me" , 'looks' just might be the problem.
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 21
Totally jilted
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:23:00 AM
You sound so insecure about yourself kellyb, why are you getting so upset about what this one guy did? He didn't give you a reason for doing the disappearing act so why are you assuming it was your looks and/or weight?
Please note that internet dating is not the same as meeting men IRL. There are quite a few scammers, fakes, liars, horn dogs, and opportunists here, and you have to have a picker that works really well to be able to weed through the crap and find the decent ones.
Don't put so much time and effort into just one guy - especially with texting/etc. - until you actually meet him.
Good luck with everything.
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 22
Totally jilted
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:31:31 AM
He owes you no explanation. I have done that for the very same reason. Waist up photo's show an average looking woman, but the waist down showed a BBW. Show who you are, tell who you are, you will never have to post this again!

On another note; I used to tell women the "Why" on different issues until they continued to bash me for being honest. The response I get is "you could have just not answered" or "you could have just ignored me, I would have understood that" followed by "you didn't have to be mean". [Tactful] truth does not equal mean. It's just too harsh for them to grasp is all it is.

Well I say that most people in general cannot handle the truth about themselves, so that's what you got what you got!
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 23
Totally jilted
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:50:58 AM
OP, I have to agree with the others who say that you need to represent your weight honestly and openly on your profile. Even if you tell a man that you are overweight, it isn't the same thing.

Maybe that is why men turn on their heel and leave and maybe not. Maybe when you meet there is something that you say that makes them not want to see you again--really, we can't judge.

BUT there are two things that you say in your post that made my antennae go up. First, you said:

even though yes I am overweight, this guy outweighed me prob by 100 pounds or more!

No man "owes" his feelings toward you because of his weight! So what if he outweighed you by 100 pounds? It was his choice to walk away if he found something about you unattractive in either the way you look or another aspect. It like saying, "I am only going to date ugly men/women because they can't get anyone else."

Second, you say:

I KNOW I'm not THAT bad looking!

Maybe it isn't your looks. Is it easier to blame the guy for being shallow rather than doing some introspection and searching for other reasons than your appearance? There are women who are very much overweight who have boyfriends and partners, so weight is probably not the only issue.

Yes, the guy was jerky for not at least saying, "Sorry, no thanks," but the common denominator in your experiences with men is YOU. If this has happened to you a lot, then stop criticizing the jerky men (you won't change them) and work on yourself.
Joined: 1/14/2012
Msg: 24
Totally jilted
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:17:10 AM
"Agreed! Although this goes both ways.......nothing worse than meeting a guy who's profile says 6 feet, and in reality he is only 5'8"."

Yeah, what's up with that?!?!? I met a guy on here that told me he was 5'9." I'm 5'71/2 (rounded to 5'8" for POF) I was wearing flats when we met and he was shorter than me. As soon as I saw him get out of his car, I was like it’s no way you're 5'9". He looked at me all shocked and was like "are you saying I'm too short for you." I'm looking at him like, Of course!! 5'9" was pushing it for me then you're even shorter than that!!!!.... I guess I could have been more sensitive but I just couldn't hold it in. It just blurted out. Now I ask guys if they are fudging their height. It makes no sense for me to meet them if they are. I will not date a man shorter than me.
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 25
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Totally jilted
Posted: 2/22/2012 9:50:26 AM
Nothing is real until it's real, which is why I tried to not get too excited about anybody before meeting in person.

Not sure what you meant by this happens to you all the time, but if it's always the guys who are no longer interested after meeting in person, then, yes, your picture is not a fair representation of what you look like in person.

If you don't like the results you're getting, you need to change something.

Also, for me it really helped to actually make a list of all the people I dated, because I also had this perception that they all rejected me. As it turned out, this was not the case at all, it was just the ones that rejected me that stuck in my mind a lot more.

This kind of thing happens all the time. You either learn to deal with it, or online dating is not for you.
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