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Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 26
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wtf????Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Ask the OP, shes the one complaining that they did something cheap.

The OP is complaining that he took her to wal-mart; not that they did something cheap. She even suggested a free park for their first date.

Taking her to Wal-mart was so tasteless as to be insulting. I would have been offended too.
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 27
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:11:12 AM
ugh, i would've ended it when he bragged about how much money he "has". people who talk about their money usually have none, and it's just in bad taste to talk about it. period.
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 28
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:11:15 AM
And to Yankee. I didn't "run" I have a life I don't have time to sit in front of a computer all day.
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 29
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:16:30 AM
Calpsyo Yes I made his income an issue because he made it an issue with me. If you'd be happy with a Walmart date then more power to you. I found it insulting.
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 30
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:20:21 AM

Taking her to Wal-mart was so tasteless as to be insulting. I would have been offended too.

lol, not knowing the OP per se, I can not (nor can you) speak objectively as to what is tasteless to her. walmart is kind of the disneyland for hicks and ghetto trash after all.
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 31
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:21:54 AM
^^^^^ Hey, that was nasty and rude.

Unless you are looking more for like a magic disney odyssey?

:laugh: Right. Not wanting to walk the aisles of Walmart as a date means she’s expecting a magic Disney odyssey. If a woman would like her date’s clothes to match is she then expecting GQ?

if a man is broke many women in better situations won't even look at him. SO my sympathy is not with the OP

How shocking. No, you’re right….she should have gone to Walmart and agreed to get freaky with him in the futon department. That would prove she’s not a gold digger. :drinking:

OP was honest with him about her financial situation. If he didn’t like it, he could have taken a hike.

So what if she’d like a man who enjoys treating his date? They exist, believe it or not.

I'm confused about why some posters feel that she was just looking to use him for financial gain or to get a free meal.

Because you’re on the PoF forums. If a woman doesn’t want to go to Walmart with a guy or pay for a cup of coffee and provide him with sex then she’s a gold-digging entitled princess bytch. :party:

OP, bragging about money is a turn off. Walmart is a turn off. He sounds like a clueless boring drag. Laugh it off and move on.
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 32
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:25:04 AM

How shocking. No, you’re right….she should have gone to Walmart and agreed to get freaky with him in the futon department. That would prove she’s not a gold digger.

how about she just go to walmart and have a conversation, walk around a bit and see how things go, instead of getting pissy, assuming the guy wanted cheap sex and that she was a quality woman and deserved better?
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 33
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:44:13 AM
Ya know, I'm glad I read the whole thread before posting! At first I was kinda on the OP's side. But reading her pithy responses to anyone that didn't agree with her changed my mind!

The OP defended herself saying she didn't expect him to pay, BUT in the opeing post she said "I was hoping he might offer to pay". Sorry OP you can't have it both ways, either you were hoping he would pick up the tab, or you didn't.

I'm not much on Walmart(I hate the company and what it has done to american jobs). It took 3 or 4 posts for you to say you suggested something else. Did you really?

"I was totally turned off and we ended up not meeting."

That's not surprising in the slightest. Sorry but you women can bay at the moon, gnash your teeth, throw stones and start a riot! The truth is that more than half the women, won't date a man, who doesn't offer to pay, or doesn't offer to take them to a place they THINK, they are entitled to, based on their on own personal standards.

That's a fact!! It has been said more times on this forum by both men AND women!

Frankly I could care less about the outcome or the OP's position. Maybe the guy was frugal, maybe he needed a few things, who knows? Please don't pizz on our shoes and tell us it's raining!

When women don't get what they deem as what they expect, there is no second date. In this case no first date. This is more about expectations, than about financial conditions.

Was the guy wrong, yeah maybe. Obviously he was wrong to consider the OP.

Many women say, how about coffee, it's never a first date but a first meet, to see if you want more. NOW it's well he was cheap. Make up your minds!
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 34
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:51:14 AM
Absolutely true, I have read posts that literally state "if a man can't pay for dates, he should not be dating"
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 35
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:52:16 AM
He could have been testing the waters. Like seriously, sure it sounds a bit weird, but maybe post #2 was right People that draw the curtains fast on things like this in life make me wonder if they do so with everything. For instance, if you wanna go some place and come to a road block for some reason or another, do you just give up and turn around? Even if there are other routes you could take that could add to the adventure? In most cases with myself, if I have an opportunity to feel out a situation without knowing the possible outcome, I weigh the pro's and con's. And if I think it could work out ok, chances are I'll try it.
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 36
Posted: 2/24/2012 10:58:25 AM
I'm with the poster who said that had to be sarcasm.

The guy was obviously trying to be funny, and of course, OP found no humor in his response.

Lesson learned, OP. Do NOT reveal your financial disadvantages during a first date.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 37
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Posted: 2/24/2012 11:02:12 AM

I know he was making good $ since he liked to brag about it.
I would personally never go out on a date with someone that liked to brag about money. I have higher standards.
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 38
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Posted: 2/24/2012 11:17:02 AM

The guy was obviously trying to be funny, and of course, OP found no humor in his response.

Seriously? I probably would have countered with suggesting we go sit around the ER waiting room and watch the wounded for entertainment. If it was a contest to see who could suggest the crappiest first date...

I love cheap first dates, they keep the expectations/obligations at a minimum on both sides. I can usually come up with some pretty good ones. To have him counter with WalMart was insulting and rude. And rather odd, considering most people I know who brag about money are "too cool" to shop there at all. I think he was being snotty, and if it were me I would have told him I didn't think we were a good match and been done with him.

Good lord, just parking on lover's lane and watching the stars come out is a good first date. Try that idea next time, cheap skates!
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 39
Posted: 2/24/2012 11:24:44 AM
I would simply say. Okay why don't you buy me a nice coffee. Forget about walmart.
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 40
Posted: 2/24/2012 12:07:48 PM
I'm just going by the OP.
She clearly told him that she didn't have any money.
He suggested they walk around Walmart since she
couldn't afford anything else.

I think he was attempting to be funny in a trashy
sort of way and he meant for his words to sting. He'd
not be someone I was interested in just because of his
manner of presentation.

I wouldn't have bothered to offer alternatives either.
Who the heck wants to hang around with insensitive
people? And ones that apparently lack imagination.
He can't think of a cheap date unless it's at Walmart?

Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 41
Posted: 2/24/2012 12:26:26 PM
I also believe his suggestion was an insidious, underhanded jab at the OP....

I myself detest the place. I always plan a visit there right after I get out of the gym because I can't stand to walk their floors without a good pair of running shoes. And obviously I don't give a sh1t how I look or smell when I'm there either....

I would have been insulted too. I'm glad OP you gave him the flick.
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 42
Posted: 2/24/2012 12:35:04 PM

I think it's just precious that a single mother minimum wage factory worker is too uppidy to go to WalMart!

So you consider walmart a suitable place for first meetings and/or dates and you
wouldn't mind going?
Or is it because she's a single mother minimum wage factory worker that she should
go? Free fancy high dollar deal? Where was it suggested she wanted that?

Talk about uppidty and precious.

Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 43
Posted: 2/24/2012 12:40:20 PM

Go to Target. Their lingerie is way nicer

Indeed. I found DDD bras to fondle there.

Security to the lingerie department!

Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 44
Posted: 2/24/2012 12:43:54 PM
"So you consider walmart a suitable place for first meetings"

Hmmm, lets think about that for a moment. My views on walmart are clear. That aside, why is walmart so inferior to say Starbuck's?

In case you are going to miss my point, you are there to meet someone you may date. It's supposed to be casual, a park, a store, a mall, a whatever! It's about the other person, not the place, or the amount of money spent, it's about seeing if you want to date THEM!

In fact, come to think about it, there is no security in a starbucks, limited security in a park, there is at walmart, safety first!!

"Where was it suggested she wanted that?"

Reread the OP, "I was hoping he would offer to pay" or words to that effect.

Things changed quickly upon finding out the date would not entail the spending of HIS money.
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 45
Posted: 2/24/2012 12:49:07 PM

Reread the OP, "I was hoping he would offer to pay" or words to that effect

That's exactly what she said.

My favorite response that I have read so far, in a woman's profile, regarding first date ideas, was:

"We could meet in the middle of an intersection for all I care, it's about the person, not the place."

Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 46
Posted: 2/24/2012 12:59:00 PM
Oh, I'm sorry. "I was hoping he would offer to pay" translates to
fancy expensive meal? Not in my language it doesn't.

No, I don't consider walmart a meeting place, no I wouldn't go,
and no, I wouldn't want to know someone who thought walmart
was a comfortable place to meet and talk.

She tells him she doesn't have much money and he can't spring
for a cup of coffee? He couldn't suggest a walk around town or
the park and an ice cream cone? No, he has to belittle her and
suggest walmart as she's too poor to do anything.

No, I didn't miss your point. It is about the other person. And when
one person says they don't have money and other suggests they walk
around walmart because they're too poor to do anything else, I think
it says a lot about both people.

I don't want to know people who would treat others like that.
But of course, your milage may vary.
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 47
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Posted: 2/24/2012 1:05:35 PM
I think this guy dodged a bullet to be honest.
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 48
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Posted: 2/24/2012 1:09:59 PM
There is a food court in Wally world and food is offered at Starbucks. I think the original poster simply had cold feet.
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 49
Posted: 2/24/2012 1:23:44 PM
"translates to fancy expensive meal?"

No, I'll give you that. BUT translates to "everything is great, I will meet you, as long as you pay"!

Now I always find it funny, when we all read the same OP, but take away vastly different things from the same facts. It has been suggested that "he was insulting her", "it was a joke he was making", "it was a put down" and a few others.

So brown, what does "I was hoping he would offer to pay" mean in these circumstances? Coffee? Dinner? Micky D's? Certainly none of us can say, we were not party to the conversation, just like all those assumptions about his intent mean bupkis, since we weren't there and have no idea of whether it was a joke, serious or otherwise.

BUT clearly, no matter how you wish to parse words, or what motivation you attribute to it "I was hoping he would offer to pay" involves HIS MONEY and no one elses!!

The fact that she was disappointed with his selection of venue, may have been the deciding factor or was it his money was off the table?

She mentioned he bragged about his money and income. So if that is crass, or a lie or any of the other things posters have mentioned, why meet him?

She seemed fine meeting despite that factoid, until he was going to meet her and NOT "offer to pay".

While milage may vary, it also depends on whether you have the cash to fill the tank in this instance!
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 50
Posted: 2/24/2012 1:29:19 PM
The OP's choice of thread title is bad. Should have gone with a title of "He offered to go to Walmart for our first date".

Going to Walmart is a thing to do in small towns.

I agree with CalypsoRach's assessment of the OP and with those who said the OP should have ended communication as soon as he bragged about his wealth.
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