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 tlcme1964
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 24
First Meet... What Went Wrong?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Most prevalent is they're totally different in person than they portray themselves online.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 25
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/27/2012 11:14:30 AM

I have been meeting women through online sites for 3 years now. In the course of that 3 years, I have been on a lot of initial meetings. Possibly somewhere between 75 and 150, just as a guess. Most of the time, nothing went wrong. The problem is that most of the time, no magic happens. And we’re all looking for magic, aren’t we?



... Yes we are...or the very least a second date..Lol

Henry, 150 first meets? Wow....I haven't even broke the 25 mark yet. I have some catching up to do.
I have to say that I have lucked on "most" of my first meets ..there were a couple of guys that left me feeling yucky, but in all honesty, I have had my share of enjoyable evenings. As a result I have remained friends with quite a few.

"Still waiting for the magic" ....hmmm, seems like it would make a great screen name doesn't it?

...mae
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 26
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/27/2012 12:08:11 PM
Giggles10000
Did you ask this guy why he is on a dating site if he is all that. Watch out, he may be married. It is early days. Just saying...
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 27
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/27/2012 12:09:49 PM
tlcme 1964

I have found that the few men that I have met, were pretty honest online but were just uninteresting and unattractive in person. If you do not webcam or talk on the phone first you may well be disappointed.
 AZ-CA,Guy
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 28
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/27/2012 8:18:44 PM
E mailing is good but ALWAYS talk on the phone. get a feel for the person.
If you cant last at least 15 min on the phone, who are you suppose to in person.

# 1, Read there profile, Make sure they have read yours

#2, Have you both seen picture"s" more than 1, "Current" of each other

#3, Talk on the phone, at least 20 min. Get the basic's out of the way.

#4, Make sure you are both on the same page as for what your intentions are.

Best of luck,
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 29
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/28/2012 2:54:33 AM
Many I have met have had old pictures posted. So old that I didn't even recognize them at the place we were supposed to meet.

Many times the product is vastly different from the advertised goods. For example, they may have a very well written positive interesting profile but IRL are socially retarded.

I have been on a few actual "dates" which started out well but as their comfort level increased they went on to unload their personal problems with their ex's to me.

Some like to rant about the evils of our modern world...what a downer. I really believe a first meeting should be a 2 way conversation with give and take...many I have met believe I'm just a captive audience for their own agenda.

All of the above = an 'automatic fail' to me.

And as others have mentioned some might make good friends but there's just no spark or physical attraction.
 swtcarolinej
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 30
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History
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/28/2012 11:40:24 AM
Oh My Gosh some of these replies kill me...lol no neck,oos in the corners of his mouth..greasy fingers spitting his food...repeat after me being Alone isnt so Bad!
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 31
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/28/2012 3:33:03 PM

swtcarolinej:
..repeat after me being Alone isnt so Bad!


There may be things worse than being alone, but after so many years together, being alone sucks. No one to hold, kiss good night, and still hold them, sex, conversation, just knowing they love you and want you no matter your faults, being alone just sucks.
 PamiOakley
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 32
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/28/2012 4:44:15 PM
[being alone just sucks.]

(Hopes I quoted correctly.) For me, I think that being alone has made finding someone harder! I'm NOT unhappy alone, and really enjoy my solitude AND my friends immensely. Finding someone to love would be icing on the cake of life.
 Plenty_of_FreeTime
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 33
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/28/2012 5:01:47 PM
Old pics,physical attributes NOT the same as what profile stated,conversation goes nowhere,etc.,then it's time to cut the date/meet and greet short.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 34
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/28/2012 5:10:59 PM
They didn't use their "women's intuition" properly and decide to see me again.


Most prevalent is they're totally different in person than they portray themselves online.


This is the truth.

 MondoVman
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 35
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History
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/28/2012 8:25:55 PM
Consider these OP, but answer separately regarding online vs. IRL men.
1. How many men per week, or month or year do you have the time and energy to meet?
2. Given 1), are you living up to your meeting men goals and potential?
3. Does meeting only N men after many months (thanks Mae) represent a lack of luck, or
a self-fulfilling anti-prophecy/approach? Or other?
4. On a scale of 0 to 10 what is your level of interest and commitment toward
a. Increasing the actual number of men you meet per week, or month, or year?
b. Increasing your number of 2nd dates?
c. Increasing your number of mattress sessions?
5. Does your attitude, outlook and/or intensity need to change to improve or achieve any or all of the above?
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 36
First Meet... What Went Wrong?
Posted: 2/28/2012 9:01:53 PM
Exactly! I met someone just yesterday who was a very nice guy, not bad looking, gainfully employed, intelligent, etc -- on paper he was a perfect match -- but there was no chemistry at all. He wants to go out again, but I just did not feel any spark or connection.


Perhaps you should have went out with him at least 1 more time. Since there was nothing about him that was a clear turn off, it is possible a connection could have started to develop on the next date.
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