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 AngelWithGuns
Joined: 1/16/2012
Msg: 12
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Married men as * friends * would be fine , however most of the married men I know, have jealous insecure wives. So, I do not want a friendship where the wife is going to snap and start thinking something is going on. EVEN if * she * is part of the friendship.

I personally would not be on line trying to make friends. Very few people are even * friend * material. Most of the people , minus a couple on here ( women friends ) who I have met, have been in my life a LONG time.

I am not so much sure they are hoping more will become of it, as they do not want issues with friends having wives who may go ballistic.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 13
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'
Posted: 3/5/2012 3:23:19 AM


So, what exactly does 'friends' mean? Are the women who put this looking for new male friends or is this just a ruse of the 'serial' dater?


It means whatever the user of the word means.

You ask.



Some PEOPLE put relationship/seeking marraige to "lure" people into thinking they may be interested in more than a weekend in the Bahamas .

Your theory is just for that particular" seeking" for.

They all can be a "ruse".

I think there have been quite a few threads and opinions put out there on this subject and you get many different POVs
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 14
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'
Posted: 3/5/2012 8:36:41 AM
It's merely semantics; people can be sincere or disingenuous regardless of which category they choose. It depends on the character of the individual
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 15
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'
Posted: 3/5/2012 8:40:18 AM
Just because someone selects 'looking for friends' when they create an account, doesnt mean they are willing to meet everyone who emails them to see if a friendship can blossom.


Curious thing, though, about both of these profiles, is they specify the male friend not be married or in a relationship....hmmmm.......


If I were using pof to make friends, Id say the same thing. Not too many wives are going to take kindly to thier hubby's making a new friend out of me...and I know it. To go blindly on this path would be pretty stupid. It is one thing to meet a married couple where a friendship just takes off naturally, it is another thing entirely to 'make friends' with a married man from a dating site.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 17
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'
Posted: 3/5/2012 8:16:22 PM
Some women don't want to date,
but do want to hang with a guy.
(not for sex)

Some women want to know a guy as a friend...
before they decide to date him.

I think both scenarios are abit unrealistic,
so I don't message em.
But that's just me.
In another thread some women said they had alot of fun that way.

Each to their own.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 18
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'
Posted: 3/7/2012 3:38:44 PM
I know you are not doing it for fun,
but have you thought it thru?

If you are just friends with a guy...
he will probably disappear when he finds a girl who is more than friends.
(to keep her happy)
And if you find a guy who is more than a friend...
you may have to ditch your single guy friends to keep him happy.

I think mixing dating and friendship....
leads to temporary friendships, not real ones.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 19
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'
Posted: 3/7/2012 4:59:17 PM
Most of my relationships have started out as friendships. I dislike dating for lots of reasons and would much rather meet men in casual situations rather than the stressful stage show of dating.

I have “friends” on my profile (which is hidden) and I have no ulterior motives. I like to chat with people in the forums.


is this just a ruse of the 'serial' dater?


Why assume disingenuousness? Having “long term” doesn’t guarantee a long term relationship. People who haven’t found ‘the one’ may appear to be serial daters, although I’m not even sure what that means, but I wouldn’t assume nefarious motives.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 20
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'
Posted: 3/7/2012 5:08:05 PM

Most of my relationships have started out as friendships. I dislike dating for lots of reasons and would much rather meet men in casual situations rather than the stressful stage show of dating.

I sooooo agree with this. I hate that contrived "impress me/you" type vibe that most dates unfortunately include. Ick.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 21
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History
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'
Posted: 3/7/2012 5:31:53 PM
The looking for in creating a profile is a drop-down menu, which means the selections are limited. Usually they are, geez, the whole objective of a profile and a "dating site" is the opportunity for the possibilty to meet people you may not meet in another venue. It's common that many members don't understand that any public site is just for that, to have new people to interact with.

Not just using "friends", but any other selection are subject to how that person mentally picturew what that word means to them. Which goes back to the original purpose, to interact. If it's someone you're interested in, it's the perfect opportunity to ask what they're looking for as a "friend". Again, it's generating interaction, the best way to clear up any confusion is to just ASK. For me it seems simple, that's just what I do ask. Wowsers, it baffles me how this answer to so many forum posts causes an anxiety reaction...haha. It never ruffles my feathers, heck, I'll ask and if that person drops off the face of the earth...no worries. I consider that a total positive. That said, I realize the profiles I've written and swap out at will aren't the "norm" so the email I get.......well it's different.

Look, if you're someone sincerely wanting to meet someone you'd enjoy interacting with and can't ask for clarification, then what's the point? Bottom line is it's not a difficult question.
 MondoVman
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 22
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History
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'
Posted: 3/7/2012 8:09:19 PM
"Hey Beautiful! I'm reading/listening to your words, but don't see or hear enough to sustain interest." - basic impact of most profiles.
- We don't need drop-down lists or checkboxes. However my 5th grade teacher would require I explain each with at least one complete sentence to earn a grade above of a 'D' based on effort or achievement.
- Imagine the threads we could create were a "Strength" dropdown list to appear with these choices: average, above average, don't make me sit on you, sometimes, often, seldom, whatev.
Just contemplating the confusion for some POFers as to whether a profilee's choice refers to their breath, body odor, sexual prowess, social congress, or physical strength ONLY.

Back when we ran personal ads in a newspaper there were NO checkboxes or dropdowns. So other than the expense and censorship, the choice of words to describe ourselves and whom we could work up a decent drool was unlimited. Ah, the burden of it all back when.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 23
Is 'friends' the new serial dater 'guise?'
Posted: 3/8/2012 11:23:49 AM

I know you are not doing it for fun,
but have you thought it thru?

If you are just friends with a guy...
he will probably disappear when he finds a girl who is more than friends.
(to keep her happy)
And if you find a guy who is more than a friend...
you may have to ditch your single guy friends to keep him happy.

I think mixing dating and friendship....
leads to temporary friendships, not real ones.


I concur with stray cat. Do people really think this stuff through? What would posess anyone to look for friends on a dating site? Confusing all the way around for everyone, really. I've been messaged by a few guys who told me they haven't met the one yet but have made lots of women friends here when the dating didn't work out, which sometimes included sex.....My response is usually something to the effect of.....how charming, see ya!
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