Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MsSunshine60
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 38
Slow response and changing mindPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
"More like she can sense a control freak"


Funny, my sentiments too. One date and the op is getting his panties in a bunch because the woman is not dancing to his tune. Pushy and needy...not attractive traits.
 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Slow response and changing mind
Posted: 3/11/2012 12:24:56 PM
This has a few levels, theres a bit of a power struggle it seems.

my personal experience is that eatern europeans on dating sites should be avoided at all costs. They are either after your email and phone number for spamming purposes or your passport. There is a warning about giving personal details out for a good reason.

Evasiveness can mean they are a player, but it can also mean they are busy RL, either way all you can do is follow your heart and not let the head take over. Paranoia is a real **** sometimes. If its meant to be then it will happen no matter what.

We all have varying degrees of whats acceptable behavior both online and real life, for example i can comfortably chat and flirt with many online but once that becomes a real meeting and date then i can only focus on that one person. So what happens to all the others i have been chatting to? I cant ignore them that would be rude. Its one of the hazards of the dating game, no one like to become second choice, but sometimes things happen that means by default you will meet someone first.

It is, what it is, there are real people with real feelings here and quite frankly its no ones business what we do until you both decide to move beyond first date territory into trying to form something more meaningful.

NO wonder i hate this so much its a bloody minefield lol.
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 42
Slow response and changing mind
Posted: 9/20/2012 3:29:00 AM


Hi All,

You may have experienced this before, and if yes, i would like to know your opinion.

First date with a beautiful, well educated European girl went very well..after waiting for 24 hrs, I sent her a text message..BUT she doesn't respond at all for 48 hrs.


Why are you texting her only 24 hours after the first date? Give her and yourself room to breathe. 24 hours is too soon. You should wait MUCH LONGER. You should pick up the phone and call. Once you start a habit of texting in a relationship it will be impossible to break in the future.
You don't have a good sense of what's going on in their head when you're texting. I.e. - hesitating to answer a question versus giving direct answer, etc. Regardless, it'll make her think you're a chump for only texting.
And FYI - you never told us how the date went and what happened.. that will tell us a lot about what's going on here..
48 hours means somehow or another her interest declined. That happened because you text her.



Then she responds and says it was nice to meet and she expresses desire to meet again, on the coming Sunday. I accepted the offer and suggested lunch and some sightseeing.
Until Saturday night 11pm, she didn't even ask what time we were meeting

YOU got asked out. Talk about scoring one for the team! Yeah! But, you should have secured the time immediately



..when I texted and suggested 12 noon, she requested to delayed it by an hour..I accepted.

So you texted her with a follow-up about the time..not good..that told this woman you were sitting around waiting for her beckoning call and that you have no life. When she delayed it, she was beating you at being the "alpha" in the relationship. Being that she waited that long to even give you a time in which you had to ask her for even though she had suggested it..you should have said "that you were busy and you will call her soon" ..go do some laundry..work or something..call her in a few days and set up a date in which you have the time and meeting place together.. she'll respect you more....her actions say she's either disorganized (with her life or she didn't have anything really carefully planned) or not all that interested...I say the former. Disinterest is when she shoots it down with no alternative at all.



on the morning of 2nd date, she texted around 10 am that she doesnt want to meet in afternoon as its RAINING and she has some work...instead she suggested for meeting at 7pm same day.

Most women don't want their hair wet and I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be in the rain either and would be glad she rescheduled. If she canceled, different story. Night time is even better. That meant that after she met with you in the morning/afternoon eating food on your credit card that it was highly unlikely that she was going to be with her Joe Schmo in the evening for the real fun.

This shows she's actually thoughtful and can think on her feet. A big plus.



I didnt like the fact that

a) She was responding slowly
b) Everytime I was the one who was initiating
c) She kept on changing her mind



a) Someone who waits a day to text says they aren't all that interested. But, then again you texted her instead of calling her, so you shouldn't be surprised. b) she did initiate when she pretty much organized the second date. c) mixed signals are never good. But, she's clearly disorganized as well and the rain is a valid reason to switch the time. Changing her mind is best described as her saying no altogether.



I refused to meet in the evening and (intentionally) suggested we will do it some other day.

Now I am waiting to see if she REALLY want to meet me and if yes when does she initiates communication.

I am not sure if I did the right thing..just want to take your opinion folks...


Glad you put your foot down and said "no." Finally! Now, you shouldn't wait for her to initiate communication as she probably will not -- since her second date idea was foiled. Normally, when a woman asks me out I realize that it takes a lot of courage to do that since our society has placed the entire workload on us in dating/relationships. Therefore, I'll give her some "wiggle room" to get her game together - unless she does anything that would raise a red flag.
Here's where you'll shine again: by picking up the phone, calling her, and saying: "Let's get together on Thursday, I'll pick you up at 8." That'll kill any awkward communication between the date and the phone call.
 markt2010
Joined: 11/13/2010
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Slow response and changing mind
Posted: 9/20/2012 1:19:23 PM
The way i see it, if someone is really that interested or thinking of you then there wouldnt be 'slow' response ? and changing minds/messing about all time or putting plans you arrange to the back and having something more important/prefer doing/ or to be ! ok if is emergency such as concerning family but everytime?? you wouldnt have this attitude at work ? unless you really hated your job !
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  >